The journal's revealance

[Joceline Richarde]

Joce had been sitting in the common room writing in her journal when Isabella and Alyssa came in and she growled at them before packing up her several books and leaving the common room and going into the dark dungeons. She walked along until she found a bench that she thought would be suitable to write on.

Joceline exhaled deeply and picked up her quill lightly and dipped it into the ink and continued on with what she was writing. Once more it was about the hurt she was having from Thomas and the reasurance she was getting from Wendy, whom she felt she was getting closer and closer to.

Although she liked Wendy she really didn't stack up to her best friend and crush, Thomas Smith. Though what hurt the most was that she hadn't seen him since he had told her that he was dating Autumn, of course she had wanted this but she just felt that he didn't care, and was just spending all his free time with that girl.

 

[Thomas Smith]

Thomas had been immensely happy the past week he couldn't even describe it. The fact the the school term was almost over and he had the most beautiful girl in the whole school as his best friend, and his girlfriend, he couldn't be happier. He kept replaying the night he and Autumn spent talking his dorm room, that perfect night where they shared their true feelings for each other and the their first kiss.

He was taking a break from studying and Autumn was in her dorm with Luna so Thomas decided to take sometime for himself and finally go through the past week with a fine tooth comb, everything was so perfect, something had to have gone wrong, somewhere. Then it hit him like a tonne of bricks. "Joce." he whispered to himself. He had forgotten all about her, after she stormed away that day in the grounds, Thomas hadn't had a chance to talk to her since.

Feeling bad about neglecting one of his, what he still consider, friends, he decided to go look for her. He hadn't a clue where to start looking. Walking corridor after corridor he realised she wasn't in any of the corridors, obviously. Standing in the Entrance Hall he saw she wasn't there or the Great Hall. Now he had a choice, dungeons or grounds. He decided to go for the dungeons first. If she wasn't outside the common room he would wait and ask someone.

Making his way down the dungeons he heard his footsteps echoing, but not much else. A bit after the Potions classroom he heard scribbling. Making his way closer to the sound he saw, from a distance, that it was Joce. Wow, how lucky am I? he thought to himself. Not wanting to scare her off, he approached her slowly. As soon as he was in arms length of her he said quietly, "Joce." waiting to see if she would run away again.

 

[Joceline Richarde]

"Joce."

Joceline looked up, her doe eyes almost dared to show her hurt from the words she was actually writing in her journal, she couldn't believe how badly this all was for her, but she couldn't tell her taken, neglectful bestfriend that she thought she loved him.

Joce hugged her journal to her chest in anxiousness, because it was dark and the tears she had in her eyes, she could barely make out who it was. But when she took her wand out and whispered, "Lumos," she saw that it was indeed the person she was dreading speaking to.

Joceline let out a small anxious gasp, and stood up, her muscles tightened and so did the large knots in her stomach. "Thomas," she whispered, although she had thought she just thought it. After a moment of silence she bit down on her bottom lip and wiped her tear filled eyes, not only to hide the tears but to look away from the person she yearned for so much.

"I..I have to go," she said as she scrambled to pick up her things not realising that in her rush she had dropped the journal to the exact page after the supposive murder of the Hufflepuff Prefect and the day when she had been told of her favorite Ravenclaw couple.

 

[Thomas Smith]

Thomas shielded his eyes when the bright light emitted from Joce's wand. Once his eyes got accustomed to the light he looked at her, his eyes pleading with her to stay and talk to him, he couldn't bear loosing one of his friends, especially over a reason he didn't know. So many things were going though his head that he wanted to say at that moment, part of him wanted to be angry at her for storming off and ignoring him for no reason the past few days and another part just wanted to talk.

He was about to say something and he heard I..I have to go, he took one big step forward, his arm outstretched, hoping to grab her before she ran off. "Joce, please." He called after fustrated. When she was gone, and he was again, in the dark, he threw himself on to the bench where she was sitting moments before hand, burying his head in his hands, "Ahhhh!" He screamed, hearing the echoes throughout the dungeons, he didn't really mind who heard him.

He looked down at his feet, feeling so angry and upset, completely confused. When he was looking at his feet he saw a darker patch on the ground, taking out his wand he muttered "Lumos" he saw a book on the floor, lying open half way through. He didn't know who owned it so he lifted it up and started to read some of the pages, to see if her could figure out who owned it.

I can't believe this! I love Thomas Smith! Thomas read the first few words and through the book down in disbelive. "What th," He said, not sure how to react. Timidly he lifted the book up again, praying he wouldn't see the name he expected to see. Flicking to the first page, completely ignoring the writing completely, focused on seeing a name. Then he saw it, the name he didn't want to see. Joceline Richarde. Thomas felt sick, physically sick. He didn't know what to do, what to think.

One thing was bugging him thought, how long? he had to know the answer to the question. Taking a deep sigh he forced himself to read her journal, the whole thing. He read the whole thing, the entry after their first meeting, her first meeting with Autumn. dear Thomas he read, it couldn't have been since before Christmas? he thought, not wanting to believe it. Then he found himself reading it again, and again, unable to put it down.

 

[Joceline Richarde]

About twenty minutes later, Joceline found that she was lacking her journal and her heart began beating rapidly, there was only one place she could have dropped it. In front of Thomas! Oh god! she thought, as she rushed out of her dorm room, ignoring the tears that had erupted from her eyes once she had re-entered the Slytherin house.

When she found Thomas, she saw that he was reading her journal and she reached over to him and snatched it from him without any words. Only then did she realize that it had been completely open and that he had been reading it. "Oh no!" she groaned loudly.

Joceline stumbled backwards, feeling as if her world was crashing down right in front of her. Thomas couldn't know this! She never wanted him to. This contained her private thoughts about everyone. About her mother and her father and his awful family she was apparently a part of.

Not knowing what to say or what to do, she just exploded with screams and insults to Thomas. "How could you read this?!" she boomed. "It clearly says do not read on the front cover or do you not care about your friend's privacy, you blooming idiot!" Joce's voice cracked and more tears washed out of her ocean-like eyes, she couldn't believe she was actually saying this to Tommy, her Tommy. Except he isn't my Tommy, she reminded herself as she moved away from Thomas, unable to look at him without feeling so many emotions at the same time she felt like she was going to be sick.

[tis not as good as yours but yeah )

 

[Thomas Smith]

(It's pretty darn good )

Thomas tried to stop reading the same entry into the diary over and over again but he was hoping that every time he read it, it would somehow change and he would read it differently and see a different person's name in his place. But no matter how many times he read it, it remained the same I love Thomas Smith!

He heard footsteps, looking up quickly with the light of his wand he could see it was Joce. His eyes no longer held any emotion when he looked at her, it was as if he hadn't slept in days, shadows were now below his eyes, from reading the same thing over and over again, he didn't know what to say to her, but he easily let the diary slip fro his fingers when she grabbed it off him. Oh no! he heard her say. He give a snort, that's all she can say? he thought to himself.

He buried his head into his hands again, his hands moving through his hair, as if he was ready to pull it out. How could an 11 year old boy get into this mess, can I just not be happy with Autumn? he thought. He listened to Joce shout at him, and anger filled him, jumping up from the bench he stood right in front of Joce, easily looking down at her.

"Well I didn't really see the front cover did I?" He asked rhetorically, his voice stern. "I mean it was left lying open right at February 7th." He said, rolling his eyes at the date. "Oh I'm the idiot?" He shouted, "I'm not the one that left their diary lying open for anyone to read." He said moving his hand in one quick, sharp movement to point where the book was lying. "Ahhh!" He screamed again, he punched the dungeon wall. He let the pain consume him, making him more angry. Taking a breath he decided to calm down a bit, knowing anger wasn't going to solve this. "How long?" He asked with a sigh. "How long have you known?" He finished. "And! How long did you think you could keep it a secret?" He asked calmly.

 

[Joceline Richarde]

Joceline scowled at Thomas and retorted as coldly as her voice would let her, which at this moment was quite cold, her blue eyes blazing with anger, "Do you think punching a wall and yelling back at me will intimidate me Thomas?"She smirked coldly and said with malice, "Because it wont, apparently I love you.." She paused for a second, letting her words sink in to him before continuing with her words once more, "There you have it! I love Thomas Smith and I hate it!" The eleven year old's voice and face contorted with pain, she hated saying these words, her mother had told her not to love a man because they would always end up hurting you, and she was right. Her own father had hurt her, her brother, and now her best friend was hurting her just by being with Autumn, and it wasn't even his fault.

"What do you want from me Thomas?" she asked in a tone of voice that could only mean that she was exhausted of this fighting, she was exhausted of ignoring him and most of all she was exhausted that she loved him and could do nothing about it, at all. "I don't want to, I just want my best friend, I want everything to be simple again, I don't understand why," she blubbered as she sank down onto the ground, wrapping her arms around her chest, letting her warm tears soak the sleeves of her sweater.

Joce was done; done with all the madness in her life; done with being at this school and done living in New Zealand all together. Everything had lost all meaning once her mother had died, and she apparently had been surpressing her anger and hatred, and now it had boiled over onto the one person she believed she could trust, the one person she cared for and cared about her as well, or so she thought anyways. "Does it matter?" she asked, in response to his question on how long she had known, once she had controlled herself, enough so she could at least speak. She had found out that she liked him on February 7th, the day that started this all. "And that really doesn't matter, because clearly I can't keep my secrets and thoughts to myself, there are things in there no one ever should know but me," she sniffled sadly.

 

[Thomas Smith]

Thomas glared at Joceline, "No Joceline I don't think it will help, but I need to get my angry out some how, don't I?" He asked rhetorically. He leaned against the wall burying his head in his hands again, not wanting to look at her.

"I love you Thomas."

Seeing the words was bad enough but to actually hear them come from her, to hear them out loud, he couldn't bear it. He continued to look at the ground and out if the corner of his eyes he could see his friendship ring, the one he and Autumn shared, it was red. Thomas snorted, it hadn't been red since the night he and Autumn had gotten together but it was red now. He was hurting. He was angry but hurting. It hurt him that he was loosing a friend and he could do nothing about it. He continued to listen to her.

"What do you want from me Thomas?"

He heard her say, she voice no longer filled with angry but something that made Thomas think she had had enough, like him. He took a deep sigh, the next he talked he didn't want it to be in raised anger. He heard her voice start to break, he knew she was crying. Looking up he saw he sitting against the opposite wall. Taking another deep sigh he moved over to her and sat beside her, but not too close. "All I want from you is for things to go back to normal, just like you do." He said calmly.

"I suppose it doesn't matter." He sighed, "But I don't know why you couldn't have just told me, I've hated not talking to you this past month." He said. He felt a pang of guilt when she mentioned the rest of the things in the diary, he knew he shouldn't have read it, "To be honest, I didn't read much. All I was doing was skimming to see my name, to get some sort of insight to all of this." He said truthfully. "But anything I did read, is safe with me." He added.

 

[Joceline Richarde]

"All I want from you is for things to go back to normal, just like you do."

Joceline looked away from Tommy as he said this. "It's not as simple as that," she said truthfully as she placed her palms down on the ground and shuffled over, away from him, because she did not know if she could control herself from either punching him or kissing him now.

Joce glared at the wall ahead of her, ignoring the tears pouring out of her eyes, just looking, although because of the flowing tears and anger her vision was diluted. "But I don't know why you couldn't have just told me, I've hated not talking to you this past month." She looked at him painfully and forced her voice to work as she said, "Autumn." She couldn't have told him that she liked him because he was dating Autumn, and she didn't want to ruin their friendship.

"To be honest, I didn't read much. All I was doing was skimming to see my name, to get some sort of insight to all of this."

Joceline cringed once more, but exhaled before responding. "Well I only found out on February 7th so if there are any hints, I couldn't tell," she said honestly. "You promise you wont tell anyone Tommy?" she asked worridly, as much as she tursted him, this was big and certainly his friends would be able to see the difference in his mood.

Joce exhaled deeply, and wiped the tears out of her eyes as best as she could before saying. "I'm going to miss you," she said honestly, knowing that it would be for the best if they just didn't see each other until she was over him. It would be extremely hard for her, but she had a feeling he would breeze by it and would forget about her completely, everyone always did.

 

[Thomas Smith]

((Haha I've been so tempted to just have him pounce on her and kiss her this whole time, but then no, would make a fun plot tho))

Thomas listened to her, "I know it's not that easy but," He didn't know how to finish off that sentence. He wanted things to go back to the way they were, but he knew it wouldn't be easy. He would either have to break up with Autumn, which he knew would never happen, or she had to get over her feelings, but he didn't know how hard or how easy it would have been for her.

"Autumn"

Thomas stared, confused at Joceline, "Autumn?" He asked, "What has she got to do with it? This is between you and me." He said, his voice becoming stern. He couldn't make sence of the whole thing, he had taken so much on today he felt like his head was going to explode.

Thomas nodded, it was true he hadn't read anything that would have led him to believe that she liked him in any other way apart from a friend. "Of course I wouldn't tell anyone." He said shocked she would even ask such a thing. "I mean who am I going to tell?" He said with a light laugh. "I mean apart from Autumn, your may only friend." He said downhearted, because he knew now that she might not even be that.

"I'm going to miss you,"

Thomas sat in shock at the words that came out of her mouth, "What?" He asked, his voice slightly raised, "Don't say that." He said getting annoyed now, "We have to be able to sort this out." He said forcefully.

 

[Joceline Richarde]

[that would be an amazing plot lol]

Joceline glared at Thomas and said, "I couldn't tell you because you're dating her, I couldn't tell you that I was lying to you the whole time when I said that I was her friend when I hated her." She sighed gently and bit down on her lip before continuing with her words, hoping he would let her speak and not interupt her. "It wouldn't be fair to you if I were to say all these things when you told me that you were dating."

"We have to be able to sort this out."

Joce shook her head at the fact that he said we instead of you. She knew that she would have to be on her own to get rid of her feelings for him. "What is there to sort out Thomas?" she asked seriously. "We have nothing to sort out," she answered for him before raising her index fingers to her temples and rubbed them roughly, this was starting to give her an extreme head ache.

Joceline believed that she would have to keep away from him to try and sort out her feelings for him. "You wont even realize I'm gone," she mumbled, not bothering to hide her anger at this thought. She wanted him to miss her while she avoided him because she knew that she would miss him to bits, so much so it would make her heart ache. "You'll have Autumn and I'll.. I'll find someone so Wendy doesn't go crazy with seeing me so much," she said, letting pure loathing and hatred in her voice when she spoke Autumn's name, and made her voice as light as she possibly could when speaking of Wendy, although it was still quite heavy.

 

[Thomas Smith]

Maybe some other time

Thomas listened to Joceline talk. He didn't know what to say, everything was just getting too much for him. He sat there, feeling defeated and just nodded along to the things Joceline were saying, they were true, he had to give her that.

"What is there to sort out Thomas?"

"There's everything to sort out Joceline." He corrected her in an equally serious tone of voice to hers. Before he could continue Joceline kept on talking, giving a sigh he listened.

"How will I not realise your gone, you one of my best friends, it's going to be hard not too." He said forcefully, trying to make her understand how hard it was going to be for him aswell as herself. "What about when Autumn is with her friends, who will I have?" He asked. He had completely forgotten about Wendy, she seemed like a good person even though he only talked to her once, but that didn't matter, it wouldn't be possible for them to be friends now.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

[Oh jeebus! ]

"How will I not realise your gone, you one of my best friends, it's going to be hard not too."

Joceline looked over at Thomas as tears fell down her cheeks. "You just will," she said in a firm tone, one that betrayed her true feelings about this whole situation. "Everyone does," she murmured quietly.

"What about when Autumn is with her friends, who will I have?"

Suddenly, Joce found anger in herself, at Thomas, for being so selfish. She was giving up a lot too, and he was only concerned with what he wanted, or it seemed that way. "I don't know Thomas!" she said firmly, her voice was almost hitting a yell, from anger. "You'll have to make friends," she added in a softer tone then before.

Joceline inhaled and exhaled deeply before continuing with all of this. "Tommy, you know that this will be difficult for me, please don't make it any harder then it already is," she said, as she put her hand hesitantly on his shoulder. "I don't want to do something we'd both regret," she added, kissing his cheek once not realizing that one of her warm tears slid down from her nose and onto his cheek. She stood up firmly and picked up her journal.

Not wanting to do what she knew she had to now, she wiped the tears from her eyes and sniffled, finding that even for this moment she was able to stop herself from crying. "Good Bye Thomas," she whispered, before turning on her heals to begin walking away. All the while hoping he would stop her and wrap his arms around her, do something but she knew that he wouldn't as his heart lay with her.

 

[Thomas Smith]

(What's that supposed to mean, would you not be up for it??)

Thomas shook his head, "I won't." He whispered. He didn't know how she expected him to just forget her, it wasn't as simple as that.

Thomas give a light snort, "Ha! You make it sound easy. Do you not think I've tried to make friends?" He said angrily, "You and Autumn are my only friends, and I'm perfectly happy with that." He added.

"It's going to be difficult for me too." He replied. At her next comment Thomas give a deep sigh and said, "But if it will make you happy, I suppose, I can avoid you for a while, no matter how much I don't want too." He said, the words were so hard to say, but he knew for them to get back to normal he had to let her do what she thought necessary.

He looked away from her again wondering what would happen next. He got a shook when he felt her lips on his cheek. His stomach lurched. When she stood up he followed suit. When she said goodbye and started to walk away he took one large step and grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him into a hug, "I'll always be here for you. See ya." He said giving her a kiss on the top of her head. He broke apart from her and after one last look at her he turned and walked out of the dungeons.

(OMG I'm dumb. I just realised that the name of our first RP is a song, I'm listening to it now ))

 

[Joceline Richarde]

[Nothing, i'd be up for it ]

Joceline was somewhat relieved when she felt Thomas' strong grip on her wrist and pulled her into him. She melted into him as they hugged, feeling completely comfortable now. "I'll always be here for you. See ya." As he kissed the top of her head she scowled, not because she was mad at him but because he had kissed her like an adult would kiss a young child on the forehead. They had no spark, nothing!

"Yeah, see ya," she murmured under her breath as he turned away from her. Joceline stood there for a moment before walking back to her dorm room, trying not to cry until she got there.

[lmfao I was listening to it at the time ]