The Journal's Lament CLOSED

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

Slowly Brian walked to the top of the North Tower, in his hands a journal rested. It was open and the pages flapped in the wind showing the words and the life of a man that had not been alive for years. Brian Getathorn XVII's Journal had been his grandson's greatest posession for many years. Brian had read it soo many times and for the longest time it had been his voice when he had none. The journal had been his comfort and friend when nobody was around and yet he also knew that it was his greatest Crutch. Brian cared deeply for his grandfather, perhaps too deeply as those feelings had been used against him in a way he never thought before. Andromeda had told him off which was nothing new but this time she had used his feelings for his grandfather to do it. That had cost him and her more than he wanted. He hadn't even spoken with Zazuka since the argument instead he just went up to the Ravenclaw Tower and looked at the Journal.

The Journal contained many things from his grandfather's life. His grandfather had been a brave man and had he had magic in his veins would definately have been in Gryffindor alongside Andromeda. Brian had always known that and secretely resented that fact. The journal felt like an iron weight in his hands something that Brian cared for alot but knew what had to be done. Brian stood on the top of the tower letting the wind touch him as an Owl flew towards him. Athena, knew that he needed her. She was a smart Owl but had been someone that had been heart by Brian's impulsiveness in the past just like Andromeda. Brian thought he didn't care and deep down wished that he didn't but couldn't stop which hurt him more than anything Andromeda had said. Brian had something inside him that was making him sick, it wasn't a real virus more like something that lived in his brain.

Brian knew what it was at last and would finally be free of it and yet like some twisted joke it had protected itself. It had hidden itself in the form of Brian's preacious gift daring him to do what he must. Brian looked at the pages knowing already what was written on them as if he was actually reading them. Brian pulled out his wand and dropped the Journal that had once been his. It no longer could be considered his as he couldn't live with it anymore. The Journal represented Brian's deepest desire which was to be like his grandfather but he no longer wanted that. Brian wanted to be himself, not his grandfather and would never be able to as long as he carried it. Brian had never understood why his dad disliked his grandfather but now he did. It wasn't that his grandfather wasn't a great man he was! It was simply that he represented a dream that few could live up too.

Brian's father had failed to be like his father and inside him a bitterness grew untill he became the complete opposite of his father. If Brian continued on his path he risked becoming something even worse, Brian wouldn't have that. The wind flapping the pages Brian pushed his wand letting brilliant blue and red sparks coming out towards the journal. Athena flew away hooting quite loudly as the book began to burn the smell rising from it as the pages that had once captivated Brian's attenetion blackened. The smell mixed with Brian's thoughts as if he was witnessing his Grandfather's Death all over again and yet this time he did not cry, there was no need. This time it felt as if a shackle that had chained his grandfather to this world had finally been cut allowing him to move on to a better place. This would also allow Brian to move on to a better place, a place all his own.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda walked as if she were a zombie, she had been caught about to use a silly potion to make her forget everything that she had been through and done. She felt heartless, her talk had cheered her up no end but now in the cold of the day the loneliness she felt was acute. She missed her friend and that was all there was to it. Her bandaged hand was tucked inside the other one, she had broken a bone but because of what she was human remedies didn't heal her as quick as her wolf form would. She had craved a full moon in the days since the arguement, she had wanted to vent so badly but didn't want to hurt anyone else but herself. But the moon wasn't due to phase her for another few weeks.

As she passed beneath the castle she looked up at the darkening sky and sighed. She hadn't been able to face Zuka besides the time they had in class. She purposefully had chosen tables that hadn't enough room for her or Brian, so Zuka couldn't ask any awkward questions. As she turned a corner she came to the steps to the north tower and figured no-one else would be about, so walked up them slowly. The view of the countryside and the school always healed her spirit somewhat, so she really hoped it would do so again.

As she came out on to the top a smell assaulted her, something was burning. Andy walked around the corner and saw Athena flying off before then seeing Brian. It looked as if he were burning something. It was obviously a private moment but Andromeda was torn. She wanted to leave him to it but she also wanted to go over to him. Talk again. Why did it always hurt her most when they didn't speak? Why did they argue so much? She knew the answer but pushed it away. Her heart had literally ripped itself apart after their arguement, it hurt now just to look at him from even this distance. She turned to walk back down the stairs again trying not to make a sound when Athena flew over head calling out wildly as if she were warning Brian. Andy rolled her eyes and froze.

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

As the journal burned in front of him the fire danced sending a few small sparks into the air, Brian's mind was alot more focused like it never had been before as the past few weeks showned through his mind like a bad movie. Brian would be glad that the journal was gone and while he knew his father would be dissapointed and perhaps even angry with him Brian also knew that deep down he too would be thankfull to be free of the last remenants of his father. Brian didn't hate his grandfather but also didn't need to be like him anymore. Brian would be happy just being himself.

Brian had seen the other person arrive out the corner of his eye, Andromeda was his friend. She was more than that and Brian knew that. They had their differences and that was probably why they were in seperate houses. That shouldn't mean that their friendship should end, especially since Andromeda was always there for him when he needed her and he was always there for her when she needed him, it was normally these moments that brought them together, Brian was annoyed at this fact. It shouldn't take rough times to make them forget being mad, they should be more mature and simply agree to disagree during disagreements and not let it get in the way of their friendship.

Brian felt bad for Zazuka most though as she had been innocent in all this, always having to be in the middle and always being hurt by their arguing. Zazuka had always been a great friend that Brian and Andromeda could always rely on, she was smart and talented and escentric but in the best way possible. She always seemed to know what to say and seemed to have a good judge in character. Brian enjoyed her friendship alot and was glad that he didn't argue with her, it would completely crush him if they couldn't be friends. Andrew wasn't that bad of a guy, perhaps Brian would get to know him and who knows maybe become friends.

Brian would be different now, something inside him was gone and all it took was a few sparks. Athena flew overhead hooting softly as Brian turned from the now smoking journal towards Andromeda, she was turning to leave but hadn't left yet. "don't go..." Brian said to her then without a second's thought he smiled and said "I'm sorry" the words once were almost impossible to say to Andromeda during their arguments yet now left his mouth like a breath. "you were right and I was wrong" Brian said knowing that she probably wouldn't let him live it down. Andromeda and Zazuka were good friends and it was time the three acted more like it.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Her entire body felt as if it had been frozen in the spot and she hoped he hadn't seen her, that she would be able to still sneak away before another arguement began. She really couldn't cope with another one. Then something truly epic happened. Brian told her not to go and Andy's heart began to hammer loudly as if that too had been frozen in time prior to his words.

He apologised and still she couldn't turn around, she had to be imagining all of this. She was dreaming and soon she would wake up but she didn't want to wake up. This was possibly the nicest dream she had, had in ages. Brian put the icing on the cake and told her she had been right and then she knew she was dreaming. There was no way in the real world that Brian would have said any of that unless she had dreamt it. Was she really so feverish, so tired that she didn't remember going to sleep, closing her eyes, getting into bed even. Slowly she turned around and looked at him, he was smiling at her. Taking a tentative step forward she waited for him to start shouting some more at her, to do anything to let her know that this was real. But nothing.

Brian had apologised, told her not to leave and said she had been right. She moved closer to him wanting nothing more than to pinch herself. 'No, don't wake up this is too good' she told herself, fed up of the horrid dreams she carried this was like walking through a patch of heaven. Eventually she stood infront of him and reached her hand out to touch his face. He felt real and yet the real Brian would never in a million years say anything like that to her. He would rather chew his arm off than apologise or more importantly admit that she had been right which ultimately meant he had been wrong.

She thought any second she would wake up and remember that they were still arguing, that he had broken her heart, stomped on it actually but while she was here. While he was smiling almost serenely at her she could enjoy just a few more moments of her dream. She returned his smile, the distance between them wasn't much to cross. She had already been close to him, being slightly taller by an inch of two it was easier than having to stand on her toes. Tilting her head slightly she kissed him ever so gently and in that brief second realisation dawned. Her eyes that had closed shot open and she knew. Just knew that the dream she thought she was having was reality and she had just made the biggest eejit of herself.

"Oh, crap" what else could she say, how could she explain that, "Apology accepted".
It sounded ridiculous and she stepped back quickly, looking about quickly for something to distract them.
"What were you burning?"
'Oh, please please just don't ...just... oh crap crap crap' even her thoughts were going haywire as she waited for Brian to say something.

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

It all happened way too fast for Brian to realize and he needed time to catch up as his cheeks turned bright red. Brian had been friends with Andromeda for a very long time. They had a bumpy road to say the least but had remained friends throughout all of that, Brian cared for her more than just as a friend. He had even told her that once but at that time he had told her she was like a sister he had never had. Brian had never even considered that she might feel more than just close friends. Brian really didn't know what to say, he processed information pretty quickly but this time it wasn't working right as Brian kept thinking of the people that meant the closest too him.

Brian frowned as Andromeda spoke though Brian didn't really hear what she was saying, it all just didn't seem real and at that moment he kinda wished he hadn't just burned his grandfather's journal. He had been oblivious to Andy's feelings while he was protected by the simple book and deep down Brian wished that he could go back to that as his feelings seemed all too real. Athena hooted happily as she made a third swing around the North Tower as if she knew this would happen, Brian had named her so based off the goddess of wisdom so wouldn't have put it past her to have forseen Andy's feelings, though now Brian wasn't sure what to say he kinda wished he could switch places with Athena and let her deal with everything that had just happened.

"Andy..." Brian said realising that he never really called her that, he always called her 'Andromeda' because that was her proper name and Brian who had been raised on formalities always believed that one should use proper names when adressing someone. That wasn't true though, he had always used proper names with everyone except one person. "I'm sorry..." Brian said feeling his heart beat slowly yet hard. Brian was sure that everyone in the school could probably hear it as it was thudding very loud in Brian's head so much so that it seemed to consume him. "I'm sorry for what I said" Brian said not knowing if he meant the argument or his previous apology.

Brian's head seemed to still be fuzzy as he lost control over his senses. "I'm sorry" Brian repeated even though she seemed to be freaking out enough for the both of them. "I think I'm in love with Zazuka" Brian said and even as the words escaped his lips he felt the thud of an iron weight hit his gut. When he thought about the people close to him Andromeda was there along with Brian's grandfather but at his side was Zazuka. He had always been himself when he was with her and now that he was free of his Grandfather's will he realised that he didn't hate Andrew for being a Slytherin, he hated Andrew for being with Zazuka and that kept him from being with her. Athena made her fourth swing not saying a word as the coldness in the air and the smell from the burnt journal stung Brian all over.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda felt as if she had just been slapped with a cold fish. She had always suspected deep down that he would like Zuka more but to love her? Andy had never seen that one coming. She looked at Brian as if thinking once more that none of this could be real. She wanted to turn away, to run to scream to do something. But what could she do? Her two bestfriends cared for one another, no Zazuka cared for Brian and he loved Zazuka. There was no place for Andy in any of that, maybe there never had been which was why herself and Brian always argued. It made sense to her now, perhaps he had been jealous of the time that she spent with Zazuka.

Noticing how her thoughts were naming them formerly, Andy turned to look at him once more. She had been to hell and back. She went to another form of hell once a month but now... now she had to live out her school days in another type of hell. Watching her bestfriends with one another. She had no doubt that once Zazuka knew of Brians feelings, she would break up with Andrew, she had been crazy about him since about the same time as Andy. If for a moment she had thought that Brian had stomped on her heart earlier what was he doing now? There was nothing left to stomp on. She couldn't do this anymore, hadn't she promised herself that back in the trophy room.

Her eyes began to well up with tears and her throat constricted as she fought to keep them at bay. A tendril of red hair fell across her face but she didn't bother moving it. She turned away from him, taking a few steps towards the door. Stopping as if in a daze, she looked back once more. Her mouth opened as if to say something but what was there to say?
'I love you, I always have and I always will. I know you better than you know yourself, better than anyone else can and will ever know you. The reason we argue is because we are the same and so different. I am Yang and you are Ying.'
But she didn't say anything, she turned away once more and walked to the door. Reaching it just as the first tear drops fell. She wasn't doing this anymore, she couldn't.

What was left of her ached, she needed to lie down - she felt so weary, so wretched and alone. As she crossed the threshold she swore mentally at the school, her life had been turned upside down and inside out since she had arrived here. Couldn't anything go right for her? Was that really too much to ask?

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

Brian didn't say a word as he was left in the stinging cold. He couldn't say anything because he knew there was nothing he could say that could make her feel better, Brian took a few steps back feeling the stone against his back as his knees seemed to buckle forcing him to the ground his hands over his face. he moved his hands away for a moment as he strugled to breath the revelations coming to the surface had been too strong for him to deal with and their in front of him was the remains of the Journal that Brian had destroyed mocking him as if telling him he hadn't been ready to part with it. Brian picked it up and threw it over the tower furious with it and all that it represented.

More angry than the journal Brian was furious with himself. How could he be in love with Zazuka? he didn't know what love really was... Andromeda had kissed him and he had stabbed her in the heart with a rusty pike. Brian didn't know why he said that as he wasn't sure what his feelings for Zazuka were, he cared about her that was for sure and knew that he wanted to be with her and not Andrew but what about Andy?... Brian tried to think, she meant something too but no matter how Brian tried the feelings he had for Andy were different from the ones he had for Zazuka, was it possible to love two people but in different ways? Brian didn't know.

Brian wasn't sure if he loved both of them or either of them but the fact was very simple. In order to preserve his friendship with both of them he wouldn't be with either of them. It wouldn't be right for any of them and Brian couldn't bare it if he broke up their friendship... Brian would have to keep his feelings secrete and never again let them out because deep down he knew that no good could ever come from letting them out, He would have to make things right. Once things were right he would never mess them up again. So he put his Ravenclaw brain up to the test and tried to think of a way out of it. Athena flew up to him with something in her beak, it was a plant Brian remebered accidently swallowing one day during Herbology, it was the first time he'd ever seen Nargles and Professor Rambolt had said it caused hallucinations.

"Athena! your a genius!" Brian said with a smile as he pulled out a peice of paper and a quill and began to write down something,

Andromeda,

I don't know what happened, I found myself on the North Tower with my grandfather's journal and it had been burned!
I'm devastated! I don't know why anyone would burn my grandfather's journal like that! I remeber walking around the forest and falling into some bushes and seeing you up here with me, do you know who burned my grandfather's journal? What did we talk about? Did you Apologise? I'm confused and why do I have Alihotsy on my clothes? Please could you come and fill me in my memory is really fuzzy...

Brian finished it and handed the small note to Athena who immediantly flew off, it was quite a stretch but if Andy beleived this little lie things could be fixed and Andromeda need never be worried about her two friends again. Brian just had to put the finishing touches on it as he walked over to the stairs sticking part of the plant onto his shirt and swallowing the other peice he on purposely tripped himself causing him to tumble down several of the steps. Unfortunately Brian hit one of the steps extra hard and found himself knocked out cold. The last thing he saw was crimson blood spill onto the steps and the smell from his Grandfather's journal then everything went black. Athena hooted worriedly as she saw Brian's tumble and flew towards Andromeda.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda wrapped her arms about herself to quite literally hold herself together. She seriously felt as if she were falling apart at the seams. What had this boy done to her? The tears wouldn't stop falling and she wanted to just run as far away as she could. Shouldn't she be happy for Zazuka? She knew she should but she couldn't be when it tore at her own happiness and Merlin himself knew she had very little of that lately. Why did he have to tell her that, couldn't he have just been all wierd about the kiss, gotten over it and just let them carry on as if she had never done it? No, Brian had to do something else completely unorthodox for him and admit his feelings out loud.

A fresh batch of tears fell, staining her face and reddening her eyes even more. She stopped at the bottom of the tower and took a moment to just look back up at the parapet. Maybe she should go home to her mother and help her raise Luthor. Maybe she should just go and stay with Esmerelda and get home schooled. Her godmother was an ex-professor after all. Wiping the tears roughly she turned to walk back to the castle, her footsteps felt heavy and clumsy. Stopping for a moment she turned to look out at the gardens. She had her own place for privacy, granted she only used it once a month but she could go there now and be able to cry herself to sleep in peace. It certainly wouldn't be the first time. Her feet had a mind of their own and began walking in that direction when Athena came hooting down towards her.

"Oh just go away will you" Andy waved her arms above her head to shoo the owl away but it just kept flying around her until it dropped a note to the ground at Andromeda's feet. Andy stopped and looked at it before looking at Athena who was now almost flapping hysterically infront of her. If Andy didn't know any better she would say Athena was blocking her from going any further. She opened the note and read, then reread. Turning around and looking back at the North Tower. Was this some sort of sick joke? What was Brian playing at? Alihotsy? Andromeda was a whizz at herbology always had been and knew that this particular plant caused hysteria. What was he doing with that?

None of this made sense. She crumpled the note up in her hand and shoved it deep into her pocket as she made to continue to the tree but Athena was having none of it. She circled about Andromeda as if to get her to follow her.
"Damn it can't I just have two minutes to cry in peace. Hasn't he done enough damage to me?" she shouted at the bird and then something began to click like jig-saw pieces in her head.

Brian never apologise, Brian would never admit that Andy was right especially about something that they had both felt strongly about. Brian would never normally speak about 'feelings' at all. There had been something burning when she had gotten up there. His grandfathers journal?
'Oh, Brian!" she gasped, that journal meant so much to him. She was torn, what if the note was the truth it would explain so much and from what the note said, he didn't remember anything about her kissing him. Would he remember saying he loved Zuka?

"Alright Athena I'm going back" she walked slowly, hysterical or not Brian would have to wait until she composed herself. There was no way she was going back up there with a red blotchy face. Athena seemed to hoot frantically at Andromeda's slowness as if time was of the essence. With a sigh Andy walked slightly quicker until finally she was going up the steps of the tower again.

She had bad dreams but this was worse, this time it didn’t involve her, this time it was Brian. Everything seemed to work in slow motion as she turned on the stairwell to see drips of blood seeping down.
“What the?” she continued walking until she saw a hand flopped down over a step.
“Brian!” she called out and ran the few short steps to him, he was unconscious with what appeared to be a nasty cut to the back of his head. She put her hand there very gently as she sat on the step beside his lifeless body. More tears welled up, she was really getting fed up of crying.

“Brian, Brian can you hear me?” her other hand lay on his chest and brushed against a small shrub. Picking it up she saw that it was indeed alihotsy. He must have been so hysterical that he fell down the stairs. As if she didn’t have enough guilt laid on her door, Andy now keenly felt this one too.

Very gently she removed her hand from his head and yanked off her jumper placing it carefully under his head. She was usually very good in a crisis but this was Brian and she felt all her knowledge leave her in the blink of an eye. She was too overcome with worry for him. What was she supposed to do now? Athena could be heard going virtually ballistic outside and Andy snapped back. She wiped her eyes again and took out her wand, she knew a minor healing spell only because the healers at St. Mungos thought it necessary for her to know it. She cast it now on Brian’s head and waited.

Her nerves felt so raw as she sat there looking at him. She would never argue with him again, never ever attempt to show any feelings for him whatsoever. If only he would come around. If only…

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

Brian's head hurt as if he were suffuring from a spliting headache. His mind was racing and he felt a fever coming over him as his eyes opened and he saw for a brief moment Andromeda. Closing his eyes once more he was in a forest bright and green. He was older and seemed to have facial hair now, Brian's hand felt his chin as a feeling of deja vu came over him as if he'd been here before. Andromeda and Zazuka was here as well except both of them were older and looked more mature. Everything seemed peacefull as he stared at his two friends. Brian looked at Andromeda and Zazuka with a bit of mild surprised, "can you believe it's been three years since that day at the tower?" Andromeda said as she brushed the back of his head.

Brian enjoyed it for some reason, he didn't know why as Zazuka smiled at them both "alot's happened, but at least everythings finally where it's suppose to be" she smiled as if knowing a secrete Brian did not. Brian looked up as an Owl hooted, it looked like Athena and at first Brian thought it was her untill the dream Andromeda said "wonder what Archimedes wants" she said with a smile, it was a smile Brian hadn't seen in a long time. One that didn't reflect the secrete she held as if she finally came to terms with it, or something had helped her. She looked at Brian with that same look in her eye she had at the top of the tower as if he was her world.

Then it happened just as it had happened at the top of the tower, except something was different. Brian was no longer in his body but outside it watching as the sixteen year old Andromeda kissed his sixteen year old self. Older Brian was kissing her back which made Brian feel a bit uncomfortable as he looked at the older Zazuka who seemed to be smiling as if she knew what was going to happen before it actually happened. More than that really, she knew and wanted it to happen the way it did. The owl named Archimedes flew down in front of Brian and held out a note for the older pair. Zazuka walked up slowly as the two lovers parted lips and looked at the owl with mild affection as if all was right in the world.

Older Brian picked up the note and smiled saying something that Brian couldn't hear to the other two. The world around Brian was begining to grow hazy as Brian looked around completely oblivious to the fact that in reality his fever had intesified dispite the peacefull look on his face, he even had a calm smile that reflected the peace that had been in his dream. Brian was left in darkness as the future blurred away. Brian didn't want to go back, he wanted to stay in the future and see what else was happening in the world that was so different from what he knew. Three Years seemed to be so far away how could things have been like that? Brian wondered as someone stepped out of the shadows behind him.

Brian turned to see his grandfather holding his journal. "good thinking" the old man said with a smile lifting his journal up, Brian stared at him a bit nervous embarrassed about everything that had happened. "I had too..." Brian said a bit sullen as he stared at the man he once emulated. "hey, you don't have to explain yourself to me! I'm dead!" he said matter of factly as he tossed the old book onto the ground and placed an arm over Brian's shoulder. "I never wanted you to be anyone but yourself, you know that right?" Brian Senior said staring down at his grandson with the same expression Brian had inherited. Brian looked up at him and felt the stinging in his eyes as he tried to make sense of everything. "I know..." was all Brian could say as he began to walk in the darkness with his grandfather leaving the old journal behind.

"I never would've left the journal with you if I believe it would have changed you" Brian Senior explained as small whilte orbs appeared around them. "I'm glad that you did Grandpa" Brian tried to explain, but his grandfather wouldn't hear any of it. "I did some terrible things in my travels Brigeta" Brian Senior said as they continued their walk a look appearing on his face that was most grave. Brian shook his head unable to believe what his grandfather was telling him. "No it's true, in China when I helped your grandmother and the other farmers with their 'flowers'" he said the expression more and more grave as Brian listened "the flowers were poppies" he finished letting Brian peice together what that meant. Brian could only stare at his grandfather as the donning realization came over him.

Brian figured it was part of his injury as he became more and more aware of what had happened, he felt a pain at the back of his head and what felt like an itching. Brian looked at his grandfather "it's not true" Brian said simply. Brian didn't know why but for some reason his mind was trying to villianize his Saint of a Grandfather. "It's true, the Poppies were sold to a friend of mine in Japan which was later turned and sold to American Soilders stationed over there at the time" Brian Senior explained "your father found out when he read my journal and peaced it together, he never really forgave me" Brian senior said staring down at his feet. Brian couldn't understand why his own mind would play such a trick on him as he placed his hand on the back of his head which had begun to hurt. Looking at his hand he saw blood.

Brian looked at his grandfather again who had tears in his eyes "your father never forgave me, but I hoped you would" he said as the darkness claimed him and the white lights surrounded Brian. All these years Brian had idolized his grandfather but now this revelation seemed to have shown him something different, he had been so busy idolizing him that he'd covered up a part that his grandfather had wanted him to know about. Brian's head hurt more and more as the lights became tiny little windows showing different memories each one a different time in Brian's life. He looked at himself talking to a blond girl while buying a cauldron. The day he met Zazuka in Obsidion Harbor a friendship that appeared in more and more memories.

Then he saw the day he met Andromeda on the train and their vow to remain friends. Brian chuckled slightly as he saw the look on his face when he'd been sorted into Ravenclaw after Andromeda had been sorted in Gryffindor, he walk over and sat next to Zazuka to watch the other students get sorted. He watched as the arguements passed by realizing how stupid each of them had really been. He saw how Andromeda and him seemed to make up each time growing more closer, Brian's hand clutched the back of his head as he felt the cut in his skull. He watched as Andromeda told him her secrete and how he had been accepting of it. How they argued some more including the worst one that had occured in the Trophy Room. Brian watched as the journal burned and he confessed that he thought he was in love with Zazuka. He watched as Andromeda kissed him.

A flash appeared as Brian felt himself land on his feet back in the bright green forest with the three older students. Two of them were laughing but one was staring directly at him as if she could actually see him. "This future is possible Brian. I hope you know that, I have for a long time" the girl said as she turned away and focused her attention back to her two friends. Brian felt chills run down his spine as he blinked and was left back in the darkness. He was in a tunnel heading towards the lights that laid in front of him. Running forwards towards the light Brian simply wanted to leave the tunnel as the light blinded him more and more but he had to get out, it was the only way to have that future to have everything made right.

Brian opened his eyes as his fever seemed to have broke and looked at Andromeda with a smile. She had came back and Brian was more than thankfull, he only hoped that everything would be set right and that they could forget what transpired at the top of the tower as Brian's head hurt quite a bit. Brian's hallucinations had been intense but in the end that was all they were, dreams enspired by the ailhotsy. Despite that however, Brian did enjoy the one in the forest even if he knew that it probably could never be. He just couldn't risk destroying their friendship for something that might not be true. "thank you" Brian said to Andromeda as he began to cough heavily. Holding his chest he quickly got ahold of himself "I'm sorry about before" Brian said meaning more than she would probably ever know.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda watched in earnest calling his name and stroking the hair back from his forehead.
"Brian please you have to come around" could things really get any more messed up. As if her prayers were being answered his eyelids began to flicker, sitting back sightly she smiled as his eyes finally opened. He thanked her and she blinked incredulously.
"What are you thanking me for you buffoon?" she chided him, he had given her such a scare. Never again would she wait or hold back when someone sent word that they needed her. What if she hadn't come along when she had, what if she had walked away to the tree and he'd been left here bleeding. The thought was too much to consider.
He began coughing fiercely and Andromeda flinched. Was he going to be ok?

She thought he was mad for saying sorry now, knowing that with the alihotsy and the fall he couldn't possibly know what he was apologising for but it didn't matter. None of it mattered, he was conscious again. She really did hope that he had forgotten everything, that it was all a blur. She couldn't really ask him what he did remember and decided then and there never to ask but to let it rest. Forget the rooftop ever happened, would that be very fair on Zazuka though? She wasn't sure if she should tell her friend the revelation that Brian had made, he had apparently been hysterical and it would be unfair to mention something that was said under those circumstances. It was probably for the best that she say nothing.

"Brian can you get up? I think you need to get to the hospital wing?" she would act as if nothing had happened between them, it would be hard but it would be necessary.

Andromeda knew one thing though he had broken her heart once already and once broken he couldn’t possibly break it again. So she would ultimately be safe, at least she told herself that she would be. Her hand went to her mouth as she waited for him to answer, a finger traced the contours of her mouth gently before falling away again.
She would have that much at least, the memory of a kiss she had taken. He mightn’t be able to remember it but she did and she would. She knew that it would be like a flame burning within her, giving her the happiness she had been lacking lately. She would keep it buried deep and take the memory of the kiss out to look at when she wanted to. Viewing it from all sides and holding it close to her. Her lips had brushed his and that was a memory worth holding on to, even though she knew it would never happen again.

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

Brian looked up at Andromeda, he still had a splinting head ache but looking at Andromeda and her eyes. It was the same type of look she had at the top of the tower less than an hour ago. That glimmer in her eye however dissapeared as quickly as it had came. Brian had to pretend like he didn't remeber everything that had occured and yet he did. Andromeda would have to look at him and hide her feelings as he would have to do, he had changed so much at the top of the tower. The journal had been important and he had willingly given it up for the sudden freedom that he would now have to hide. He had changed and yet would have to hide it, pretend like it had never happened because if he didn't he risked Andromeda discovering the truth and if she did, Brian wouldn't know what to do.

Brian smiled slightly as he got to his feet "I don't need to go to the Hospital Wing" Brian said arrogantly trying to mimic his old self. Brian had often been trained during his summer holidays to be a lawyer picking up when people were lying and how to lie better himself. He'd gotten pretty good at it, even able to fool his parents on most occasions. "My grandfather's journal!" Brian said surprised he began looking around for it. Athena hooted in the distance causing Brian to abandon Andromeda and look for what had once seemed very important but now seemed trival. Brian felt bad that he was having to lie to Andromeda but it was important that she believed his lie in order to protect and maintain their friendship.

Brian felt a sadness inside as he looked for the remains of the journal. His head was still hurting but he ignored the pain as he looked around the grass, Brian believed that the fever had removed the effects of the Alihotsy but knew that not to be the case as he fell onto the ground. His head began spinning around fast as he looked in front of him at the Journal that was lying on the ground. Something was definately not right as Brian stared at the journal that was no longer burnt, it didn't even smell like it had been on fire and thrown from the top of a tower. Brian looked at it in horror as he tried to make sense of the situation that had started out of hand and seemed to keep getting more and more out of control. Brian looked around rubbing his eyes trying to get a grip but finding that his fever was coming back. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at the journal releasing more sparks at it "Go Away!" Brian yelled at the horrible peice of leather and paper.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda stood up slowly as Brian felt certain that he was fine, refusing an offer of going to the hospital. Andy had to smile at how he shirked it off, almost as if he were out of the effects of the alihotsy. She hoped he was but it was too soon to tell. He appeared coherent and looked reasonably alright and then he mentioned his grandfathers journal and her heart went out to him. He was running outside the tower looking for it, was that what had fallen from the turret earlier? He must have tossed it over in his hysteria. She went out after him and watched as he ran to the lawn in search of it.

He would be devastated, she knew how much that journal meant to him. Who would want to burn it? Unless under the influence of the plant he did it himself. She gasped and ran to follow him thinking that he would never forgive himself if this were the case. The only good thing was his memory seemed to be blurred and she hoped it stayed that way - about the events of the last hour any how. When she got closer she was amazed. Brian was yelling at the journal and pointing his wand at it as if he was trying to set it on fire. He was telling it to go away!

"Brian? Brian? she called, her voice rising an octave as she knelt down beside him and grabbed at the burnt book. It all but crumbled away in her hands. Damn it! she swore, there was no way this could be rescued.
"Brian it's burnt to a crisp. Stop you can't burn it anymore than what it is" she sighed she knew she had assumed correctly then, he had burnt it in his delirium. She couldn't let him know that when he came out of it, he would be devastated. That journal just meant so much to him. It was the last thing he had belonged to his grandfather. The man he emulated, the man whose memory she had thrown at him a few days before.

Her hands were blackened by the remains of the journals ash, as she looked at him. A hand went to his wand arm.
"I think you should put your wand away Brian. Come on you really do need to go to the hospital wing now, you're still hallucinating" she was getting more worried about him by the minute. Would he come quietly or put up a struggle? It was hard to know just what he would do in his present state.

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

Brian had calmed down as he watched the journal crumble in Andromeda's hand and an inmeasurable saddness came over him, the journal was really gone and everything that it had ever meant seemed to have dissapeared. He didn't know if it was the stupid plant or if it was just himself but something inside him truely missed the Journal as much as he missed his grandfather, untill he figured out whether what his grandfather said had been true or not he couldn't just throw the memories away and by burning what had been his grandfather's memories incarnant he felt as if he had burned his own memories of his grandfather. Brian looked up at Andromeda and noticed that his wand hand was shaking.

Brian thought he'd have to fake missing the journal and yet felt mixed feelings. He mourned the journal he supposed as appropriately as he could. "I'l go to the hospital wing" Brian said as he stood up looking down at the crumbled remains of his grandfather's memories. Trying to decide what could be done next. "Let's go please" Brian said as he looked around waiting for something to happen. Athena flew overhead making another ciricle around as Brian looked at up at her and began making his way towards the hospital wing with Andromeda.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda was delighted that he agreed to go, she was on the verge of having a panic attack if he hadn't. Sure he couldn't remember but Andromeda could and the past hour had been exhausting, emotionally draining. She had kissed Brian, he had told her he thought he loved Zuka, she had found him lying unconscious in a pool of his own blood, his grandfathers journal was burnt and he was under the effects of alihotsy. Her own life felt as if it had flashed before her eyes, what would she do without him? She stood up and began to walk with him back to the school.
"Ok Brian" she said quietly to him as they walked to the hospital wing. Turning her head slowly she looked up at the North Tower and her fingers automatically went to trace the contours of her lips again. He might not remember but she did and as much as the words had torn her asunder, she got to carry the kiss around with her forever. No-one could take that from her. Whether he truly loved Zuka or not, whether he regained his memory of the tower or not. She turned away again, putting her hands into her pockets as she walked beside him.

She was just bloody grateful he was alive, if it meant her now locking the remnants of her heart up under lock and key to protect what was left of it, then she would. She felt terrible he had lost his grandfathers journal forever and knew that she would also never tell him her suspicions that under his delirium he had burnt it, it would devastate him and he too had been through quite enough that evening.