Starting to surface again

[Lily Drage]

Since her detention and the talk with Blake, Lily had been moping around the dorms a lot more. Feeling the need for some fresh air, she headed out for a walk, not quite knowing where she was going. Before too long, she was up by the cliffs. It was a nice, spring day, so she found a rock to sit on and look over the space before her. This was still so new to her, being single again. Never has she actually been single while she was old enough to flirt and be a teenage girl. It was so unsettling, but yet exciting.

Pulling her knees up to her chest, she rested her chin on them. She thought back over this past few weeks. Coming back to school was unsettling. The whole situation between Lily and Sumner was confusing. He was an amazing kisser, but she felt nothing for him outside of friendship. She really liked hanging around with him and they got along famously. Emotionally, there was nothing brewing for her. Physically, it was all she could do NOT to jump him everytime she saw him. All she could do was chalk that up to pure lust and remind herself of their detention and walk away. Losing her prefects badge was not worth it....though it would be a fun way to go down.

Watching the wind blow through the trees, she continued to think about her life and try to figure out just how to make things better.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin stood at the edge of the cliffs, his mismatched eyes closed to the world, arms held loosely at his sides. This was where he came to gather his thoughts, to think things through and process them. Challenging school work, renewed friendships, new connections fizzled and faded out. Deep golden eyes, smooth alabaster skin, lips soft against his, fiery red hair, lithe young body. The scent of roses. Andromeda. How often his world returned to her, over run by the memory of her beauty, the emotions she wrung from him?

Too often, he chided himself, lids slid open slowly. The girl was in his blood and he had no means to exorcise her. He wanted no other, would have no other, as they all paled in comparison. There was something in her, her very being, her soul, that had connected with his. For one fleeting moment in time, the world had fallen away. Yet even as it sparked between them, she had withdrawn, too frightened of being hurt once more. Andy had run and Crispin had stepped aside. For now, he reminded himself, turning and walking toward the large stone he normally sat upon.

So lost in his thoughts, he almost did not see the young woman sitting alone until he was nearly upon her. Curious to who this sad yet pretty girl was he approached her. "Would you rather be alone?"

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily jumped as the voice next to her spoke. Looking up she noticed the boy that approached her, one that looked familiar but she was not sure why. "Nah, its okay," she replied, moving over a bit so he could sit down. She cocked her head and assessed him. Why does he look so familiar? I would remember if he was in classes with me. Suddenly it dawned on her. He was in her classes. At least some of them. But she had been so anti-social so far this semester that she hadn't said one word to anyone in classes. Taking in a deep breath, she knew it was time to change that fact. "Aren't you in my Charms class?" she asked a bit tenitively, not really sure where she was going with this.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crisping sat next to her on the large, flat rock. Leaning forward, he rested his forearms on his legs and loosely clasped his hands together. At her question, he turned his head to look at her and smirked. "I sit next to you in Charms and History of Magic, two behind you in Defense Against the Dark Arts." He sat up and offered his hand to shake. "Crispin Cold."

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily resisted the urge to smack herself in the forehead. "Sorry. I have been off in my own world lately." Extending her own hand to shake his, she introduced herself officially. "Lily Potter. Nice to meet you. Well, now that I am coming back to Earth." She smirked back, realizing what an idiot she must seem to be. This boy, rather man, sat next to her in three of her classes and she didn't even have a clue. What else has she been missing?

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin shrugged good naturedly as he shook her hand then resumed his earlier stance. "You always looked like you were miles away, I didn't bother you. Not even," his lips quirked, "when my ink well ran dry during notes in History." He ran his thumb on the edge of the frayed jean over his knee. "So where were you?"

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily pulled her hand back, resuming her previous position as well. As Crispin teased her, she dropped her head down. "Sorry," she said, making a sort of grimace. "I have basically had my head pretty well implated up my arse." Turning to look at the man next to her, she noticed the fray of his jeans. She then looked at his face and tried to give him a small smile. "Over the summer, I broke up with my boyfriend. It's been really hard being back here and seeing him in the halls and stuff...." her voice trailed off, and she turned her eyes back to look over the view in front of her. "I never thought this would be so hard to deal with."

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

"It's alright." Crispin had not taken it personally, not when she had that sad aura about her. He chuckled at her joke. Turning his head slightly he regarded her. She was a beautiful girl, dark blue eyes, nice skin, great build. Her smile, though half hearted, had promise. Yet he wasn't stirred by her, at least not emotionally.

"Is he in our year?" He didn't offer condolences, positive she had had enough from friends.

 

[Lily Drage]

"No, a year behind us," she responded, turning to look back at him. He was rather attractive with very different looking eyes. She was surprised that once she actually looked at him, she found him to be rather attractive. Her heart was still with Blake, but she could see herself being friends with Crispin, maybe just a bit more. "He is only 6 months younger than I am. It's hard. Most of the time I stay in my dorm so I don't have to run into him." Suddenly, she started to laugh. "Man that is pathetic."

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin listened to the young woman, to Lily, and nodded. He understood completely why she hid from her ex. He could hear the love she still had for him, the pain that lingered, in her voice. "I think you sell yourself short." He stared forward over the wild beauty of New Zealand, his hands clasped as if in prayer, his eyes narrowed to block the sun.

 

[Lily Drage]

"No, I don't think I do. I really need to stop hiding and pull on the big girl pants. We only have one year left of being in the same school. I can't hide in my dorm all of my last year," Lily replied, looking out at the trees that seemed to drop into nowhere. "I may have caused the break up with my stupidity, but why should I hide. It's my last year at school and I should be enjoying it, not hiding and moping throughout it."

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin was reminded of Andy in that moment. How he wished she would gain this sort of inner strength, push all her hurt aside and be courageous enough to grab onto life with both hands. Instead the girl he pined for hid behind a mask. He'd seen her fight and snarl with two other girls, girls he knew were her best friends from her journal entries. She was letting her pain twist her, using it as an excuse to condone her own selfish behavior. Crispin had sat there, eating calmly yet observing, as she pushed them away with callous behavior.

"I wish others had your resilience, Lily," Crispin's mouth quirked as he looked at the young woman again. Maybe if Andy did, we'd be together now. He admired Lily and was glad he'd come to the cliffs when he had.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily turned to look at Crispin again. She could see them being friends. Good friends. "Thanks, but I really need to thank you for listening to me. I guess I didn't realize how badly I needed to talk it over with someone who would actually listen and not just try to make me feel better." Giving him a smile, she said with a chuckle, "And I promise that I will have plenty of ink so if you run out again, I can lend you some."

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin straightened up on the rock. He hadn't minded listening to her. In fact it had been enlightening. "Anytime Lily." He meant what he said, Crispin didn't waste his time, nor anyone else's, with pointless words or empty promises. "I'm glad to know I can count on ink control." He grinned then stood and stretched out tired muscles.

"I should have tried out for Quidditch this year," he murmured absently.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily smiled at her classmate, then stood herself, preparing for a walk back to the castle. She did have homework after all. At the word Quidditch, her ears perked up. "You play? What position?" She found herself interested in what her new friend had to say, and for the first time she was not thinking of Blake. Well, first time when not having some mutual 'therapy' with Sumner. "I'm a chaser for Ravenclaw."

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

"Beater. It was a long time ago, I haven't played in years." Suddenly Crispin jerked his head toward Lily and studied her face. "Chaser?" He felt ten times the fool for not recognizing the girl he had known in the young woman she'd become. Her hair had been dark then, not light blonde as it was now. His own hair had darkened without steady sunlight and he'd shot up over a foot since last he'd been at the school. "I feel like an idiot. We played together on the teams Ford made, do you remember?" Suddenly it all flooded back, meeting the young Ravenclaw, the incident when Bellatrix had written bloody words in the Great Hall, catching Lily when she fainted.

It was all so long ago and seemed like it was a life that belonged to someone else. It was how Crispin would always feel when he remembered things from his young life at Hogwarts. Arcturus had done his best to beat anything that made Crispin happy out of him long ago. He'd nearly succeeded. If Crispin hadn't come back he had the feeling he might have sealed his fate in that drafty old house, becoming more and more like the old man he had grown to despise. With each friendship renewed, he felt the chasm growing until he was opening up, becoming the man he wanted to be.

 

[Lily Drage]

"Wait a second..." Lily replied. She turned and looked at the man in front of her. He was taller, a bit darker, and definately older, but she suddenly remembered him. "Oh Merlin, you were blonder then. And shorter," she added with a chuckle. "How long has it been since you were in school here? Three years?" Memories of Crispin at school before started to flood back to her. Classes, quidditch, an uproar over what was written in the Great Hall. Her face sobering just a bit, she looked up to his eyes. "I don't think I ever thanked you for catching me when I fainted that time."

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

One corner of Crispin's mouth lifted in a smile. He scratched his cheek with his thumb and shrugged. "Yeah well you weren't exactly in the right frame of mind then. None of us were." Crispin didn't believe in mincing words and rarely did he hold them back. He may wait until the right time, hold his cards to his chest if it meant getting something he wanted; that was what he was doing with Andy.

Yet with his friends he didn't feel the need to hold back. "You've grown too Lily. Beautiful." He said simply.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily ducked her head and blushed. "Thanks. You're not so bad yourself." If she really thought about it, she was flirting. Something she had not done in ages. She looked up at him then, really taking in the guy in front of her. She hoped they could revive their friendship. "So, when was the last time you played?"

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin took a moment to enjoy her blush. She really was a beautiful girl. "I haven't picked up a broom in over two years," he admitted. He hadn't felt the need, the call to be up in the air, sneaking out late at night. Rebelling for the sake of rebelling lost its flavor long ago.

Since he'd been back he had felt the itch to hold that smooth broom in his palms once more. "I don't even have a broom anymore," he admitted.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily was a bit surprised. "Really? Wow. I'm sorry." Then a thought occured to her. "You know, we could go flying sometime, if you wanted to. I could get you a school broom out from the shed. I do have access, being on the team and all." She was a bit sheepish for some reason. She was hoping simply for a friend, but he was rather cute and this was the first time since Blake she found her interest raised and wanted to get to know him better. She hoped that he wanted to fly. Even just as friends it would surely be a fun time.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

"I'd like that. Thank you Lily." Crispin was a little overwhelmed by her offer. Kindness was still a stranger to him from others and one he was slowly getting used to. "If it's like they say and as easy to pick back up like riding a bicycle, then maybe I'll get my own at the Village."

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily smiled in a way she hadn't for quite a while. She was actually starting to enjoy herself, more than she had since the split. "I am positive you will get back in the swing of it quickly. It really is like second nature."

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin hesitated before extending himself to ask her. "I have a free period tomorrow. Perhaps we could meet then?" It wasn't that he was a afraid of her answer or of rejection. It was the first time he had put himself forth to actually 'hang out' with someone since his return. To anyone else, it was an everyday occurence. For Crispin, it felt like a small victory.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily tilted her head and thought for a second. "I think that works for me. Do you have any equipment still or do you need me to borrow some? I have a friend that I am sure would lend me some" She took a few steps towards the castle, then asked "Walk with me back?"