Closed Spilling Sadness

[Emilia Manning]

Emilia had had a lot of time to reflect after her breakup with Derek. She had been upset, and had at first tried to spend time by herself while she worked through her feelings. She was grateful to Acacia for being there for her and checking in on her, but a little sad that her cousin Athena hadn’t sought her out. Surely, she had heard about the news by now. Emilia had realized now that she no longer had Derek to spend time with, that she didn’t really have many other people left anymore. She had a few good friends, but over the past years, she hadn’t been as good a friend to them as they deserved. One of the people she felt closest to was still Jacob Kingsley, but they had both gotten busy with their own lives. She could only hope Jacob still felt the same way about her, even if they didn’t talk that often. They’d had some deep talks in the past, and she had told him things she didn’t usually say to anyone. Right now, he was the friend she wanted to talk to the most. She had asked a younger Gryffindor to pass him a note in Gryffindor tower, and she hoped it had reached him. Emilia had asked Jacob to meet her at the lake, the spot where they had first talked in their first year, where they had become friends. She was sitting near the water, staring at it sadly with her knees pulled up to her chest. She felt like she could cry, but she didn’t want to. Emilia didn’t want people staring at her and gossiping. Enough of that had happened already, and she knew Diana Holland was to blame. She knew Jacob didn’t like her either, and hoped talking to him about the situation might make her feel a bit better. Jacob had always been a good listener.

 

[Jacob Kingsley]

Jacob had been entirely too into his own shell this semester. Life had been overwhelming to him in the beginning of term and it still kind of was. There were pressures coming from all directions, but none of that even measured against the pressure he was putting on himself. And he didn't feel comfortable sharing with his brother or father. His brother was in Auror training and his dad had been Minister. His pressure didn't compare, and it made him feel small and alone. So he'd simply stared at the young Gryffindor for a moment who was holding out a folded slip of parchment. Until they'd repeated themselves and he nodded slowly taking the paper. Emilia. Jacob's brow was furrowed as he unfolded the paper slowly and read. She was asking him to meet. Jacob tried to think back. He'd seen her in lessons, and she'd seemed ok. Jacob couldn't remember if that was true or if he just wanted it to be. He found that the more he thought, the less he could picture how'd she had seemed during lessons at all. Jacob knew it was because he'd been so focused on his own internal and external struggles. He didn't know anything going on with any of his year mates, but even more sad, about any of his friends.

Jacob went upstairs and got dressed, stuffing the note in his pocket. Them he headed out. Leaving the castle always made Jacob feel better. He liked the outdoors and beelined for the lake side, one of his favorite places in the castle. It was where he and Emilia had first met, and as he arrived and spotted her, he found she looked just as small. Jacob grew worried. Her body language looked like something was wrong. Jacob felt awful at the thought that he might have missed something going on with Emilia. But she'd reached out and he'd come. He hoped it would count for something. "Hey, Emilia" he said softly as he lowered down beside her. "Got your note..." he added as he looked over at her.

 

[Emilia Manning]

Emilia's thoughts had drifted far away while she was gazing out over the water, so Jacob managed to startle her despite the fact that she had asked him here. Emilia straightened up a little, automatically wanting to show her best side to her friend and not wanting to look as sad and miserable as she felt. But the smile was only half formed when it fell away. She didn't have to pretend with Jacob. The Gryffindor sat next to her, and Emilia stretched out her legs with a sigh. "Hi... thank you for coming here." She said softly. She had pulled her hair back in a hurried ponytail, not putting as much effort into her appearance these days. Emilia played with a strand that had fallen out of the ponytail, not quite looking at Jacob. She didn't know if he'd heard the rumors yet or not, but decided that it would be best to just say it in case he hadn't. But it was surprisingly difficult to get the words out. "Derek broke up with me." She finally said to Jacob's shoulder, before finally darting her gaze up to meet his. That was a mistake. Somehow the sight of her friend's face made it difficult to keep her tears at bay, and Emilia put her hands over her eyes to hide them away. "Sorry." She whispered, her voice shaky.

 

[Jacob Kingsley]

Jacob scooted closer to his friend, an arm going gently across her shoulder. He didn't like to see anyone hurting and definitely not anyone as sweet or kind as Emilia. It just wasn't right. She was so very good. Jacob didn't like seeing her like this. He also wasn't sure exactly how to console her. This wasn't something he was particularly good at, but he knew that when he was feeling sad, that it felt good getting a hug from his mom. "He's an a**" Jacob stated quietly. He'd actually always thought Derek was pretty cool. They weren't friends, different houses and all that, but the guy had seemed ok. And Emilia had seemed pretty happy with him. So that had raised Jacob's view of him even more. But that was all gone now. Even if he did have a good reason for doing what he'd done, which Jacob couldn't see being the case at all, he was definitely wrong. He had to be. Jacob's loyalty to Emilia wouldn't let him see things any differently. The teen leaned his head a little closer to his friend. "Do you want me to hex him for you? I will. You know I will" he stated solemnly.

 

[Emilia Manning]

It surprised Emilia how much Jacob's arm around her shoulders put her at ease. She leaned into him automatically, feeling herself relax a little. It hurt to say it out loud, but it felt oddly freeing too. At least Jacob knew now, and she had no doubt that he would be nice about it. She smiled weakly when Jacob spoke, feeling her heart warm at his words even if they weren't very nice about Derek. She still cared about him, but she was angry too. Mostly about how things had ended. If he had wanted to break up with her, couldn't he have found a better time and place? He could have at least asked to speak to her privately. She smiled and shook her head. "I know you would, but please don't... The last thing I want is to get you in trouble over this." She said quietly. "Imagine if you had to miss Quidditch matches, that would be horrible." She said, then smiled a little more. "Especially as you have to beat Slytherin for me now, you know?" She shifted a little, settling against him more firmly. "I... I guess things hadn't been going so well for a longer time, but it still ended so abruptly. It was partly my own fault... but I feel like Derek should have talked to me instead of just breaking up with me." She said softly, her gaze moving back to the lake. "I saw him with Diana Holland, and he kissed her on the head. Apparently it wasn't anything romantic, but... I kind of freaked out. I was already feeling insecure, and that kind of added to it..." She sighed. "And he broke up with me right there, in front of her." she added, a bitter tone creeping into her voice. "I'm surprised you hadn't heard yet, I was sure she was spreading it around..."

 

[Jacob Kingsley]

Emilia was right, of course, but it didn't necessarily stop Jacob's thoughts of how to explain having to miss a game of quidditch to his teammates. Loyalty was important to all of the Gryffindors and he was sure they'd understand even if they were angry at him. Jacob put the thought of hexing Derek on the back burner, but it wasn't completely gone. Emilia's only concern was getting him in trouble. Surely, he could come up with a way to hex him and not get caught. He focused on his friend instead as she spoke about what had happened, trying to rationalize it and figure it out. He'd been there before, so he knew how confusing it all could be. It wasn't until he heard Diana's name that he made any sound. It was a low grumble, a decided sound of disapproval.

Jacob knew she was probably right. Talking up someone else's lowest moment sounded exactly like something Diana would do. He had a lot of words he wanted to use right now, but through some self-control, he managed not to. Jacob was proud of himself for that. "Ugh... I don't listen to anything that comes out of Diana Holland's mouth" he rolled his eyes, his disdain for the Slytherin girl unhidden as he spoke. "It's never anything useful for me and I hate her voice. It feels like it'll make my ears bleed" he continued, making another face. Jacob leaned his head on Emilia's. "Emilia, you do know she doesn't hold a candle to you right? You're pretty and one of the nicest people I know. You're smart and give good advice. Derek should have talked to you and he definitely shouldn't have broken up with you in front of her. What a jerk." The teen couldn't believe he hadn't heard about this. It sounded like just the thing that would've run like fiendfyre throughout their year. Jacob realized just how out of touch he was with everyone and everything. "Sorry I didn't know sooner." He gave her arm another squeeze.

 

[Emilia Manning]

Emilia noticed the sound Jacob made at the mention of Diana Holland's name, and wondered if she had made a mistake mentioning her. But it was impossible to tell the story without mentioning her, as she was part of the reason Emilia was so upset. She smiled weakly when Jacob said she shouldn't listen to anything Diana Holland said. "I try not to. She didn't say much to me, just... called me an idiot for being upset." She faltered, then sighed. "It was a strange moment... and a sad one. I knew for a while that things weren't feeling right, but for it to just happen so suddenly..." She sighed again. "I just wish it had gone differently." She admitted then. Jacob's words were making her feel better, and she leaned against him a little more. "That's alright, I'm glad you heard it from me." She said. "It's stupid, but I liked him for so long, and we were together as friends a lot too before we started dating. I feel... lost without him, even if I'm also mad at him." She said quietly.

 

[Jacob Kingsley]

Jacob rolled his eyes. He really couldn't stand Diana Holland, but he had to agree with Emilia. He was happy he'd found out from her too because it meant he had to control his actions. At least for this moment. If he'd overheard Diana gossiping about this or been anywhere near Derek as he'd heard, Jacob was certain he'd not have been able to contain himself.

"Do you want to be friends with him?" Jacob asked. He didn't know how he felt about that, but this wasn't about him. Jacob didn't think it was a good idea, not with how he'd gone about things. But Emilia was probably one of his closest friends and he wanted her to feel better. He didn't like her this sad.

 

[Emilia Manning]

Jacob's question was a good one, and it quieted Emilia for a moment. She looked over at the water, and then sighed softly. "I think in an ideal world, I would. It was nice to be his friend too..." She said hesitantly. "But I don't think I can anymore." She whispered. "Not anytime soon. It's too... too painful." She said quietly. "Does that sound silly?" She asked, glancing at him nervously.

 

[Jacob Kingsley]

Jacob shook his head. "Not at all" he confirmed. He still didn't know how he and Onyx were still friends. He'd been such a jerk during their breakup and Onyx had still remained a good friend. It was possible, but certainly not easy. Jacob didn't think he'd do it either if he was in Emilia's shoes. The boy sat quietly, not sure if Emilia needed distraction or just the company. "Silly story or do you just want to sit here?" Jacob finally asked, gazing out at the water.

 

[Emilia Manning]

Emilia felt a little reassured when Jacob confirmed it didn't sound silly. "It does make me sad... we were friends for a long time." She said quietly, looking down. She sighed. "But he really hurt me... and... for a while I really thought he was it." She blushed. "You know? Like... the real fairy tale prince." She sighed, shaking her head. "Even I can hear how stupid that sounds." She muttered. "I think a silly story would be great, if you have one." She added, leaning against him.

 

[Jacob Kingsley]

Jacob didn't say much else as Emilia spoke. Until she called her thinking stupid. "Emilia, it doesn't sound stupid at all" he reassured her. The teen had a feeling they were all looking for their perfect person in the fifth year only as they got older it seemed to become more complicated to do so. Perfect people seemed to eventually have flaws too, or they always did and it just took people like him and Emilia time to figure out. Jacob had several and after a moment he launched into a story about being forced to join a tea party for his little sister and her friends. He made the story extra silly, embellishing a few details to make her laugh. Jacob wanted Emilia to feel better and if he had to embarrass himself a little to do it, he would.