Closed So Much To Say, Too Little Time

[Vader Hume]

Vader had to admit that he had really been looking forward to seeing Ava, there had been a real excitement in his heart about it. They had never been apart like this before, even the fight that they had, he had managed to see her most of the time, but this time she wasn’t there. Vader coule admit that he hoped that she was doing well, there would be nothing in his mind worse than her regretting this decision. Vader missed her, but he wanted it to go well for her. He was heading to brightstone on the first day of the weekend and was practically skipping his way down to see her. He wasn’t sure what they would do, but if they just talking and nothing else the whole time he’d be happy with that too. He came to where he had arranged to meet her and then just waited, his excitement had woken him up early and unable to really do anything else he’d just head to where they would be meeting. The prefect couldn’t believe that weeks had passed, that he’d been without her that much, though they’d kept in touch with daily letters it wasn’t the same as seeing someone.​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava hadn't been able to sleep the night before, too excited to really rest, but it had taken her forever to get her dad really up and moving to drop her off before work. She was hurrying as it was, but she broke out into a flat out run when she saw him waiting already, smiling so hard her face hurt. She knocked into him, hugging him tightly. They had never been apart for so long and knowing that they had to keep doing this for so much longer just made her hug him tighter.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader spotted easily the girl who was running towards her, and knew who it was. The head of blonde hair and build of his friends were pretty instantly recognisable to him. He wrapped his arms around her the moment she was close and had wrapped her arms around him. He took a deep breath, taking in the familiarity of having his friend right there with him. He held her close and didn't want to let go or even loosen his grip on her. But he eventually loosened and pulled away slightly, "I've missed you so much," he told her with an almost sigh in his tone.​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava pouted when he pulled away, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Did you eat breakfast? Tell me you've had some water and not just coffee," She chattered, grabbing his hand and trying to pull him with her to go sit nearby. "How's Goku? Did you talk to Ajaccio? What did I miss?" She giggled, lacing her fingers through his. She cuddled up against him, sighing happily. "I missed you, too," She murmured.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader smiled at the familiarity in her rapid questions, he let her take his hand and drag him to a nearby bench to sit at. He put his arm around her and just smiled, "I'll answer those in order," he said with a fond tone. "I did have breakfast, just one coffee," it had been a big coffee but it was still only one. He was drinking less coffee in general but he was still frequently drinking it. "Goku's good. Did I tell you about how he sits with me in class?" he said. He wanted to gush more about him, but restrained himself. "Ajaccio is on the team now. I think he'll do well. He's a good photographer and he doesn't stress much which will probably make it easy for him," Vader continued, "Slytherin won at quidditch, I ate with Lily the other day, classes are hard. That's all you've missed really. Tell me about home?" ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava cuddled into his side, listening to him intently. "Not much," She answered honestly. "Dad has been taking me around to different colleges, I've been trying to decide what exactly I want to do. Something with water color, they're so pretty," she thought, "Zephyr got a bunch of tattoos so I've been thinking about that a lot, would you ever get a tattoo?" She chattered idly, running her fingers in random patterns over his leg. "I think I'd like to get some tattoos," She mused, "Why don't you tell me more about Goku?" She asked, looking up to him with sparkling eyes. "Oh, I brought cookies," She pulled the tin from her bag and offered it to him.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader listened as she spoke. He was pleased that she was doing things with her father and generally curious as to what she was thinking for the future. It seemed like she wasn’t quite certain and less so than Vader was, though for Vader, he only knew broadly what he wanted to do and none of the specifics of it. Just photography…..something, photographer…….something. At the mention of tattos Vader paused, he hadn’t noticed on Elio but he also didn’t spend too much time looking at the other boy. He had never thought about it for himself, he could admit that the needles made him a little nervous. He wasn’t sure he could manage that..they looked cool on others, but he wasn’t sure he could do that. ”I don’t know,” he replied honestly, ”Would you get one?” he asked. He got the impression that she might, ”Maybe you could draw them?” he knew she had a good talent in drawing, so it should lend itself well. Vader took a cookie and smiled softly, ”He’s cute, Ava. He gives me these small smile, and it feels like my heart might just give out,” he laughed lightly, ”What about you and Christian are you guys keeping in touch?”​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava smiled, nodding as he asked about if she would get a tattoo. She pulled back a little bit, reaching into her bag for her sketchpad, showing him several pages and giving a brief explanation of each one as she flipped through them. "This one is for my family, since my dad is Avarian we're all birds, coming out up here," She flipped the page, "This one and this one are both for you," She giggled, pleased with herself before she flipped the page, chattering happily. "This one is for you and Zephyr," She told him, "This one is more for Philip, I know you don't like him, but we are slowly becoming friends again," She chattered, still flipping through pages. "This one is for Alice," She flipped a page, "This one is for my siblings and me," she started to turn the page again but stopped, blushing and shutting the book quickly. "And that's all! No more yet, nope," She hedged quickly.

She giggled, slipping her book away before he could catch her and snuggling into his side again. She took a cookie of her own, nibbling it as he went on about Goku. "Good! I'm glad you like him, and that he makes you feel that way," She hesitated as he asked about Christian. "Well... honestly, we really don't see each other much," She started slowly, looking at her cookie. "I... I like him, I do, he's a good guy," She sighed, leaning her head on Vader's shoulder. "I'm still thinking about Philip," She confided softly. "I don't know if I can get over him, Timmy," She bit her lip, looking up at her friend.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader watched as she took out of her bag, it seemed like she had been thinking a lot about tattoos, far more than Vader had perhaps thought it would be. He nodded along as she showed him several different ones. He wasn’t sure what he thought of her getting a tattoo for him but he thought it was quite sweet. He didn’t know if he would ever want them, no matter how beautiful the sketches that Ava had done, ”These are beautiful,” he said, he was always so in awe of her artwork and how easily she seemed to create something of beauty. He took pictures whenever he could but he knew it wasn’t the same as drawing something. It was a much easier skill in his mind, though he liked to think he was better at it than most. ”They’ll look great,” he said with a warm tone before she too nibbled on a cookie, his sat in his hand, distracted from eating by all she’d been saying. He smiled too as she spoke about Christian and Philip, he slowly ate the cookie. ”I mean, give yourself some time, and if you can’t then maybe you need to talk to him,” Vader was not a fan of Philip, but he knew it was complicated for Ava and he’d support her in whatever decision she made on the matter.​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava hummed, smiling brightly and moving to curl up pretty much in his lap. She took his arm and a pack of colored sharpies from her bag, and began to doodle, fully intending to leave an intricately colored galaxy on his skin before she was done. She nodded at his words. "That makes sense," she mused. "It would be nice to like Christian more though, I really want to connect with him. He's sweet and he asks about my day," she bit her lip. "I'm not being unreasonable with Phillip, am I?" She asked. "He's stuck around longer this time, sure, but I'm still nervous."

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader watched her as she began to doodle, and smiled softly, he had missed that aspect of her. Aspect of his life that he had while he was around her. Something he wasn’t getting to experience now they were apart. He shook his head as she mentioned philip. ”I don’t think you are, but you have to give yourself the chance to figure things out,” he’d perhaps had a more difficult time in recognising that he was gay but things had never been as complicated in his feelings once he’d realised it. He let the discussion move and in the end, once the day had come to an end and he’d needed to return to school, Vader had felt happier and lighter than ever. ​

---

​

The Next Day​

​

Vader had had a lot of accio work to do before he go to brightstone, he had wanted to get there early, but he had duties far beyond just his classes and his prefect responsibilities. Accio was always the most important thing he had in his life, and it was the thing he was always stuck doing. But once he had finished up and had begun heading towards the same spot as the previous day, his mood picked up - though the letter from Padme telling him to hurry didn’t bode well. It wasn’t the same as having Ava there but it was good nonetheless. He got to the bench they were to meet at and was a little surprised when she wasn’t there, he was a little behind the time, and he’d know she’d be there. But she wasn’t. He wondered a little into the village and spotted her curled up and not moving. He rushed over to her, ”Helene,” he called out to her, before making his way over. When he got close enough he spotted that she was crying. ”Ava, what’s going on?” he said, he put an arm around her carefully and tried to bring her into him.​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava knew she was supposed to be meeting Vader. She knew she had things to do. But after things with Elio, Ava was devastated. She found herself leaning in an odd alley, sliding down the wall. Tears had started to fall, and she couldn't make them stop. She couldn't make herself move. She thought she saw Padme, but Ava couldn't bring herself to move to see.

Eventually Vader was there, and she let him pull her into his side. "Elio hates me," she whispered. "I wasn't thinking and I kissed him. Not like romantically. Just... Like when I kissed you." She sniffled, feeling numb. "It was fine for a bit. But I was just... Trying to tell him everything. Told him I'd been seeing Christian sometimes. He got so mad," her voice broke.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader heard what she said and he couldn’t help but doubt it. Elio couldn’t hate her, he listened as she went on to explain what exactly had happened to make her so upset. He knew that sometimes Ava just acted, and that it hadn’t meant anything, but Vader knew that others weren’t the same. He’d long grown accustomed to her affectionate nature…”Ava, why did he get mad? Because you kissed him or because you said you were really seeing Christian?” Vader hadn’t thought the relationship between Ava and Christian had been at the point of labels, but he knew that she didn’t always tell him everything. ”You know that with everything in Elio’s life that he might just be a bit more sensitive about certain things,” Vader hardly wanted to exchange places with him and didn’t think the other boy weak, but perhaps there was just more that neither of them understood. Though he didn’t particularly like the boy anymore for making Ava cry. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava shrugged. "I dont know. I've never seen him mad." She wasn't really leaning into Vader, but she wasn't stopping him from holding her either. "I don't know what I expected. He told me I didn't have to pretend when I was with him. So I didn't. And now I've lost him." She couldn't help the tears silently trailing down her face. "I had to care for them, you know. Mama and grandma. When mama got sick and grandma was too old. And then I had to take care of my dad. And then you. But you lied. For years. You didn't trust me. Everyone's left. My dad has work and the twins and his new wife. Elsie died. Elio will never look at me again. And when you don't need me... You'll go too." She managed, quietly, heart thudding dully in her chest.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader gradually let himself sit on the ground and pulled her closer into him. He listened to her words, he was sure that not all would be lost with Elio, Elio from Vader’s own experiences was kind and though he could admit he thought less of the boy, he was sure that Ava and Vader would work it out. He wasn’t too surprised when she said she’d had to care for her mother and grandmother, he had some idea of what that might be like as an older brother but never that much. He didn’t like that he was lumped in but he knew that he had lied. In some aspects it had been knowing lies, and in others it wasn’t anything to do with her. He smiled a little at her. ”Even if I don’t need you Ava, I would never get rid of you, I would never leave,” he tried to assure her, ”I did lie, but I was lying to everyone, to myself even and me lying is not a reflection of you, but on me,” Vader let out a little breath, ”Me lying to you wasn’t because I didn’t love you, it wasn’t because I didn’t trust you, I have always trusted you. I just had to learn to be honest with myself first,” ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

When Vader kept speaking, he slowly slipped through her defenses in a way only he and Elio had ever done. The numb feeling cracked, and her hurt and confusion slipped out. A sob escaped her lips a few moments after he finished talking, and she turned to curl into his side, hiding her face in his chest as she cried, shoulders shaking. She just felt sick, so hurt and lost. Elio had always been one of her closest friends, she had gone out on a limb to trust him, and she had no sooner taken a step then the branch snapped and she'd been sent plummeting back to reality.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader wrapped his arms around her more tightly and just held her as she seemed to just break down in tears. He didn’t particularly like how upset she was, wanted to go demanding answers of Elio but he knew it was more important to stay with her and just let her cry. It wouldn’t even matter to him if he was late back at school, he wouldn’t mind as long as it meant that Ava wasn’t feeling as bad when she left. He just moved his hand in a soothing motion up and down her back and pressed the smallest of kisses onto her head. She deserved the world in his mind and the world was just always so difficult for her. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

It seemed like an eternity had passed before Ava stopped crying, but she barely felt better. "I don't know if I should come back to school," She managed softly. "Elsie is gone. Her bed is empty. I can never crawl in bed with her again, and the other girls in my dorm hate me." She paused. "Well... the other Ava does." She amended. She shook her head, trying to curl closer into Vader.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader didn’t mind waiting for her to finish crying, or at least stop enough to speak, she had spent so much time being there for him that it was the least that he could do for her. He thought it would be awful to graduate without her, his best friend, the one he had always loved. But he would never stop her from doing what she wanted. ”If you could sleep in the dorm with me, I’d let you,” he told her, ”You can’t let the way the other Ava treats you be a reason to not come back, think about how fun it would be to graduate together,” he told her. But he smiled softly, ”But you know if you decide to not come back, I’ll keep sending the notes and I’ll invite you to the graduation,”​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava hesitated as he mentioned not being able to graduate together. She thought about it a moment before moving to curl up on his lap, burying her face in his neck. "I can't," She murmured softly, "I can't do another year without you," She bit her lip, sniffling. "I know I need to do this," She managed. "I don't regret staying at home. But I miss everyone," She sniffled. "I miss Elsie so much. I miss Elio, and Alice, and I miss you more than anything," She brought her hand up to twist her fingers in his hair.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader rubbed her back in a comforting manner and listened, ”You know, it’s just bad luck,” he said, ”If Elsie hadn’t...you know… then this would’ve been so much easier for you,” he told her, since in reality it was true, it was just bad timing on the part of Elsie’s death though there would’ve been little that might’ve prevented it. They couldn’t have known and from what he’d heard it was just about taking it day by day and trying your best to be better with each passing one. Vader shrugged, ”There’s a universe out there where I’m the one that spends sixth year at home,” he gave a little smile as he said it, perhaps not a joke but just a way to perhaps distract her. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava shook her head, moving out of his lap and walking away a bit, wrapping her arms around herself. "But she did," Ava managed softly. "She did, and I'm a horrible person, and none of this should even be about me," She sighed heavily, rubbing her sleeves over her eyes. "How am I supposed to take care of everyone when I can barely take care of myself?" She asked, not really expecting an answer. She hated thinking that she had hurt Elio, it was tearing her apart and she didn't know what to do to make anything better.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader hesitated before giving a little shrug, "I know, but it's okay to let yourself feel openly hurt by what happened," he said to her, wanting her to know that it had affected her and she was able to openly admit it, and be upset and angry by it. At what she said following he sighed lightly, "Ava, you should take care of yourself first, and then others, or if that's hard give yourself 50% before giving others the 50, or you know, let me take care of you like how take of me," he said, "I'm here for you Ava, always have, always will be, just remember that, yeah?"​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava's shoulders slumped as he spoke. She could feel herself starting to cry again, and she hated it. She sniffled loudly, turning back towards Vader and just wordlessly opening her arms, wanting to be held. "I just wanna be okay again," She managed, lip quivering.