Open Scary Thoughts

Lauren Carter

Damaged | Conflicted | Traveling around the world
 
Messages
386
OOC First Name
Jamie
Blood Status
Half Blood
Relationship Status
Single
Sexual Orientation
Bisexual
Wand
Alder Wand 13 3/4" Essence of Dragon Heartstring
Age
25
[Adminapproval= ID#87341] (sorry this is so long)

So far Lauren was trying to see things more positive, she tried to open up. But it went slowly. Step one had been telling her closest friend about her abuse by her parents. Because it was not only physical. It was emotionally was well, her mother had been shutting her out since the day she could remember. But she was done with being an victim and do nothing. Gabriella's letter had given her hope, that she stood behind her and she had motivated her to seek for help. But it was difficult to try and trust an adult. Lauren had no idea who she could trust. She figured she could ask her head of house, he had been kind to her but on the other hand he kind of knew and did nothing. Lauren figured he knew, because Styx had told him for hundred procent what he had seen in her head. Thinking of Styx made her really angry, that man was not to be trusted. But she tried to forget her stupid moment in the boggart lesson. So far she had an excuse for everything. But her back was full of blue bruises, this break had been terrible. And next to that if she didn't got the grades her parents desired of her they would get her from Hogwarts. And if that would happen, if she would be homeschooled than her life would be over. Here on Hogwarts she had one friend Aonghas, and she had Quidditch which she really liked. And those things were what kept her alive and a bit positive.

The blonde decided to go for an walk outside. And landed with the cliffs where she had been before. She liked to watch the water against the rocks. It was wild today, really wild. And she went sitting on an rock looking down to the cliffs. It was really high. Lauren suddenly felt sad. Who would cry for her if she was gone, who would even care if she was gone from Hogwarts. And who would miss her? Scary thoughts went through her mind. It was intense, but the rollercoaster of emotions were a lot. Although she saw a bit of hope, it didn't ment that she was happy. Her parents would not even care if she was gone, Lauren thought. The only person who would miss her was Aonghas perhaps. She put her face into her legs and felt tears coming into her eyes. Gabriella had told her she was more braver than she was. But she wasn't. Lauren had to make up her mind. And make an plan, perhaps ask Aonghas for advice. She could not go back home after this year. So the time was ticking.
 
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Certainly one thing that Daintree had taken up at school was walking, he just had a lack of other things to do, he wasn’t about to go do homework or extra studying, he didn’t need do more than that. But, as the weather warmed he could fill his time by walking as he had always done at school. He wasn’t sure ever where he was going, but daintree walked until he got bored, or he found what he was looking for. Certainly it had helped him in working through a number of things in his head. He missed his music device and being able to listen to things as he walked but there was something about the quiet that was nice. Daintree wasn’t always aware of where he was even going, he just walked and everything in his mind went empty. He was walking close to the cliffs, when a noise one that was not common to his walks seemed to carry in the air.
Daintree was a little curious so followed the noise further out to the cliffs and stopped short, he knew this girl only vaguely from quidditch, but she seemed upset, crying, and Daintree wasn’t exactly the person to deal with this sort of thing. He stood awkwardly for a moment, the good thing to do would be to comfort her...but he wasn’t good at that. ”Sorry,” he said, half clearing his throat and approaching her slowly, ”Are you okay?” Daintree didn’t sit with her but kept his distance as he approached, feeling at the pockets of his jeans and jumper for a clean tissue to give her, it felt like a silly question, when even from a small distance he could very much tell that she was not fine.
 
Lauren had not really been noticing people around her. And it wasn't like she was trying to make contact in this situation. She tried to open up to people around her and the quidditch team. But she had always been pretending to be someone, that she didn't actually knew who she really was. It was hard to be yourself, if you didn't knew who you were. With her face in her hands she sighted. She got scared a bit when someone spoke suddenly, she didn't looked up but looked to the ground for an moment. It was an boys voice, and he was asking if she was ok. Lauren kind of hated that question, because it was not to be answered in one sentence. She sighted not really wanting to answer but actually she was curious who the person was. It wasn't Aonghas she could tell. She turned around slowly and noticing an boy she didn't actually knew. But she had seen him at Quidditch once she figured. Lauren frowned for an moment. '' What are you doing here?'' She asked ignoring his question for now.
 
Daintree felt a little on the spot after he’d spoken. Perhaps the smarter thing too have done in this situation would’ve been to just ignore the noise, to not go looking for it and above all else to not ask if it were okay, when it was pretty clear is was not. Daintree fixed his gaze on her as she turned to look at him, he didn’t know her name, only that she was a hufflepuff on the hufflepuff team, but there was no such recognition in her eyes for him. Daintree was actually quite pleased when she shifted the question asked what he was doing there, it was easier than perhaps listening to the answer she might’ve given or having to do something with it. He wasn’t good at dealing with people’s emotions so the idea of having to perhaps help someone who was crying wasn’t going to be something he could manage, so he just shrugged, ”I was just walking, this was on my walk,” he said, leaving out that he had followed a noise which had turned out to be her crying. He also didn’t offer any other questions or answers, he just kept his gaze on her lightly and thought about how he might move away now.
 

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