Rumor Has It V.5

Anonymous

Active Member
 
Messages
30
Hello and welcome to your fifth edition of the new and spectacular 'Rumor Has It' Gossip Magazine. And we know how much everyone loves gossip, what with posters going around the school, whispers whispered, and we uncover and reveal them to you.

Did everyone miss us? I am sure you all did. If we had some interesting people in Hogwarts instead of a bunch of moping morons of Manhattan, then we would have been out sooner. Apologies, we don't have pictures this time around. Who has time to take pictures? You all want the gossip, so here it is, sans photos. Psst, we didn't want to break our nice cameras with your hideous faces.
D E A D A T L A S T !
No one has heard of this little rat named Stefan Archer in a long time, right? I heard through the grapevine that our dreams have finally come true. He stopped writing to Kate Moon because he was too stupid and too proud to ask for help, and he withered away and died. Thank Merlin Styx didn't give him Prefect, eh? He wouldn't have deserved it after he played the game 'Orphan So Love Me' during his fourth year when he vanished. No one gets anything when they vanish. Shame he can't read this and celebrate with us over his death. So what would be the chant that we should sing over his grave? Oh yes, something like this, "Yipee! The Pathetic Orphan is Dead! The Pathetic Orphan is dead!"

S O R T I N G S T U P I D M I D G E T S
Oh joy! A bunch of new first years. I swear they get more stupid by the year. Almost single one of you youngin's got a fright when you heard your name being called! Are you lot for real? What did you expect? Of course you are going to get called up, how else would you get sorted? I beg that you at least try to use your brains this year and don't run this school to ruins! Especially you, Kyndel James! You have already started off being the School's Most Brain-Dead, but there is chance for you yet! And oh Lord, another Cowgirl, Ellie Linton? As if this school didn't have enough man-girls, we get someone else acting the complete opposite to the way a lady should act. And don't get me started on the class weirdo, Damon Kyle, the fool almost missed the stool! And then we have the absolute basket-case, Theo Delancy. Who in the name of Merlin has rainbow-colored-hair? Seriously? Are you trying to be cool? Because it's having the complete opposite affect. Oh we are going to the dogs!

M O R O N A N D I D I O T
We all know that little guy. Minoas Stratis, the Gryffindor with a beard since he was eleven. The one that was once in love with Briar. Yes, we know him. And we heard the tales. Professor Zhefarovich busted him, and his little lovers (centaurs actually) came to save him. How he isn't expelled for associating with beasts that threatened professors is beyond me. What blows my mind is that he thinks he is the 'poop' since he was buddy-buddy with the former Head Girl and that he is from Greece. Okay, you aren't the Boy Who Lived, and will never be. This little hated thing you have against Slytherins or the Slytherin Head of House is so last season. Harry-Potter-wanna-be, you need to face the facts. Just because you sprouted a beard when you were eight doesn't make you the king of the world. Kingsley had about enough of this kid. No wonder she took a long break from school. Might be because of her baby, but still. For her students to act out like that, she is like a joke. I feel bad for her for having a student like Stratis around. Stratis, really want a full page in the Daily Prophet and want to be famous? Take a skydiving journey off the cliffs, and oh, die.

W I M P , W O W
Just when you thought we were rid of the Archer's, another one comes along. It's no surprise that this idiot is colour-blind too, but he is also a cry-baby. Oh the joy! One drama-king to the next. I suppose nothing about Tybalt Archer should surprise us as we've probably seen it from Stefan already. But here's something we didn't see coming - this dude got punched by a girl. Not only did he bleed but I bet he cried his little heart out. I vote that we keep hitting this little girl until he is gone, like his Archer-relative.

T O P F I V E E A S I E S T G I R L S
Presenting the top five category! This is where we see who would be the top five of whatever. This time we see the top five easiest, which means you pervy guys will get your satisfaction easy with these girls, so you are welcome.
[ul][li]Faxen Lowart</LI>
[li]Kate Moon
[li]Ostensia Romanes
[li]Cosette Mayfair
[li]Daisie Riverwood[/li][/ul]
W I D E L O A D M O V E A W A Y
Anyone else wondering what happened to the School's Drama Queen? Miss Moon was hardly recognizable at the start of the year, and over the holidays, it seems that Kate put on more than a few pounds. Weighing roughly around the size of a small whale, we should be glad to realize that perhaps this is the result of Kate's contagious disease disappearing; though don't take my word for it, I would still suggest to keep your distance from this freak. This may be another cry for attention, but I beg of you - don't give it to her! Fatty doesn't deserve it.

O B S E S S E D O R D E S P E R A T E ?
Finally one dies, and then another one pops up? Really? How sad is this place? We were just getting used to being without a bloody Archer and now we have one? This just sucks. Anyway, this isn't about Tybalt. This is about the slob that is obsessed with him, Indiana Night. Girl, you are eleven (or twelve). Don't give it out to some freak and have a baby that can't tell the color green from red. I know you probably can't get any guy to like you because of your desperateness, but well, why settle for a freak? Ten bucks says that he is orphan too and wants someone to love him. Want to turn into a bulimic Kate Moon? Be our guest because we need someone else to spotlight since she is getting boring anyway. She tries to latch onto so many guys, like Preston and Damon. Boys, unless you want to go to the free clinic, get the hell out of there.

P R E F E C T S W I T H O U T R E S P E C T
There are several new prefects. Allow me to list them, starting with: Aphrodite Snow, Samual Kaster, Hades Lutrov II, Warren Hewitt, Kaia Lutrova, Yerik Rhys Price, Zayne Baros and Athena Zhefarovich. Let me just say, wow. Really? There weren't any better choices? We have a hyperactive Gryffindor that is in love with a cow, Kate Moon. That's Samual Kaster. And then there is Aphrodite Snow, a girl that seems to be all looks and no brains. On the other hand, there is all brains but no looks when it comes down to Kaia Lutrova. Oh and there's that pervert for the second prefect for Ravenclaw. Hufflepuff couldn't be worse with a future murdered, Hades. I bet his first victim would be Warren. Warren is about the most stupid kid I've ever laid eyes on, flirting with the cold Athena, probably going to be knocked up in her seventh year like her older brother that did the same thing. And finally there would be Zayne. Oh poor Zayne, loving his best friend. Sorry kid, you are friend-zoned, even if you are hot. How can the Heads live with themselves picking those eight idiots but well, did they have any other choice?

E Y E B R O W S A N D M O R O N
Oh good merlin, just what we need, another slut in this school. Faxen Lowart, everybody probably knows her as one of the school's biggest sluts. I am unsure how, with eyebrows as large as hers. Her poor hopeless boyfriend, seems unaware of her rendezvous' with other blokes in this school, follows her around like a pathetic puppy, has been heard to propose to her numerous times, though I don't think anyone blames Faxen for saying no. However, her wild days might yet be over; Rumour Has It, this Gryffindor Prefect is preggers. She hasn't grown obese, like Miss Moon, but is seemingly rounder, and is glowing straight from her oversized eyebrows. Can't say I feel for Dymetris though, he has brought it upon himself.

H A V E Y O U H E A R D T H E S E R U M O R S ?
[ul][li]Emo kid David Pike is crushing on Drew Handler. For some reason.
[li]Epiphany Bones, you aren't a genius. Like all other second years, you, are an idiot.
[li]Athena Zhefarovich is in love with dirty blood. Kiara Tine herself. Talk about gross.
[li]Troxa is playing nice guy. Careful Auden, this is a trap.
[li]Kaia, Zayne, you aren't fooling anyone with being "friends".
<LI>[li]Ostensia is a wreck without Damian. Talk about clingy. Keep it up and he will dump her for sure.[/li][/ul]
So there you have it kids. Owl us with any rumors - whether its something you've seen, or something you want to spread, we want it all!
Remember, the Eyes are watching you.
OOCOut of Character:
Remember, if you know who we are, then do not say a word, thank you.
Be realistic with your posts. Not everyone will find this funny, especially those that were written about.
The magazine also has a twitter that some have already located. For some recent gossip, follow us @HNZRumorHasIt
 
Kate walked out of the Hufflepuff common room. She was refreshed after taking a shower and ready to face the day. She had enjoyed her holidays, after spending Christmas with Stefan she had gone back home for the New Years Eve. She hadn't done much except practice quidditch and go over some school work. She was much fitter these days and she felt much better. She was eating a lot more healthy and she was much happier. Life hadn't been this good in a long time and a small part of her was worried that it would all be taken away from her but then the bigger part was enjoying this new life and realizing that things might stay this way and she might enjoy the rest of her time in Hogwarts. Maybe even after she left things wouldn't be too bad. She had gone through a lot of sh!te and didn't need anymore of it. Obviously life wouldn't be perfect, it would be silly to think of such a life but as long as she never got sick again or nothing serious happened she didn't really mind. As long as she had certain things in life she would be happy.

She walked down to the Great Hall and walked to the Hufflepuff table. She slowed as she neared the table, noticing people pointing, smirking and laughing at certain people including her. Kate sighed and sat down on the table, already knowing what would be on the table. She wondered what would be in it this time. It had seemed to be losing its touch for the last few issues. She got herself some toast and buttered it before taking an issue for herself. The first thing she noticed was that there were no pictures this time. She sighed and began reading the articles. Kate frowned at the first one , RHI was of course completely wrong. None of that was true, she didn't like the end. Some people are just heartless and jerks. How she wanted to get her hands on the people who wrote the damn magazine. She moved to the next ones and almost scoffed when she read what they had on her. A small whale? Really? If they thought she was a small whale what did they think most of the rest of the population was? She read through the other articles, what did these people have against her? She spotted her name in some of the articles and after reading the five easiest girls she just closed the magazine and continued to finish her breakfast. The only thing to do was ignore the blasted magazine and silently seethe.
 
Athena still had some slight discomfort from the tattoo on her back, but these days it was nothing like it had been. The girl could certainly manage with what she had to and she was able to easily slip the t-shirt over her head. Grabbing her robes, the Slytherin folded the robes over her shoulder as she grabbed her bag and headed to the Great Hall for a quick bite. Her silver eyes didn't linger on anyone so she didn't notice the stolen glances in her direction even after she'd sat down and pulled a waffle towards her. She poured syrup on it and began to slice a banana to eat with it before she noticed the magazine. Yay! she thought to herself, glad for some reading material as she ate. The magazine always provided a great source of entertainment though she was sure that the reporters only barely researched their stories. It had been way off about Levi back when he'd been a star in one of their stories. But, it had accurately mentioned Professor Kingsley's pregnancy even before she was showing. Not that it was much of a stretch. She was married after all, and married people had babies.

Opening the magazine up, she read through the articles as she ate. A smirk was on her face as she read about first years, loose girls, one of whom was a professor, which drew a laugh out of her, and Kate Moon, who was dubbed 'the whale.' It was when she got to an article about new prefects that her smile froze on her face. She cut another bite of waffle and placed it in her mouth as she read. She didn't mind the 'cold' comment. She'd heard it before actually, and it only bothered her slightly. What bothered her more was the comment that she'd be knocked up in a year or two. The smile slid off of her face. "How dare they?" she murmured to herself, her silver eyes darkening with annoyance. Instead of closing the magazine, however, she read on. Picking at the pieces of banana that were left, Athena continued on, her face now a mask of cold indifference. The first article was quickly forgotten as she read the blurb about her twice. Her eyes looked up, wide and looking for Kiara. "What the hell?" she stated angrily. "I am not in love with her" she stated to the other Slytherins at the table. "I'm not!" she stated, running a hand through her hair. She looked around, face red from embarrassment at the insinuations in that one sentence, that she was a lesbian and, even worse, that she would really be in a relationship with someone who wasn't a pureblood. She would never!

Standing up as calmly as she could, Athena picked up her belongings and didn't speak to anyone. Her mouth was drawn in a tight line, her eyes dark as ever, daring someone to speak to her at the moment. She stalked towards the doors, ready to take points from any Slytherin who got caught in her way.
 
Faxen Lowart sat at the Gryffindor table, picking at her breakfast. She wasn't really hungry, but it wasn't quite time for class. She didn't know what was wrong with her. The Prefect hadn't had much of an appetite lately. The brunette girl was starting to get anxious about leaving Hogwarts New Zealand. Her future was very uncertain, but at least she would have Dymetris with her. He had promised to follow her, wherever she wished to go. That was some comfort at least. Faxen thought back to the Yule Ball. Dymetris had practically proposed to her. She hoped he didn't bring that back up. The seventeen year old was no where near ready to get married! It was a big enough commitment to move in together!

Faxen had been wrapped up in her own thoughts and had not noticed the unusual buzz around her. She looked up, seeing a few people at the Ravenclaw table pointing at her. The Gryffindor frowned at them, noticing they held a familiar magazine in their hands. "Merlin's beard." she muttered under her breath. It had been too much to hope that the awful thing had disappeared. She flipped through it until she saw her name. It was typically horrible. It accused her of sleeping with half the school and of being pregnant. Faxen's name was at the top of the list for being one of the easiest girls in school. Didn't these people have any new insults? Clearly, the magazine was out of the loop. The pretty girl tossed the piece of filth back into the middle of the table, not caring to read the rest of it. Everyone knew by now that it was rubbish.
 
Indiana walked into the Great Hall like any normal meal, however it seemed like many people were hovering over some sort of paper. Sitting down at the Gryffindor table she wondered what could be so interesting about the post. Picking up one that was nearby her the young girl looked down the first page and almost immediatly realized it was no newspaper. The forth column in the paper brought up her name. The girl stared down at what it was saying about her. She wasn't obsessed with Tybalt, he was her best friend! Looking around the room she wondered if anyone knew it was her mentioned in the paper. Glancing at the wonderful food on the table the girl filled up her plate. She was going to show whoever wrote it that she wouldn't stop eating over Tybalt. Though she realized after putting all the food on her plate, there was no way she'd actually be able to eat all of it. Instead the first year had a bit of everything and left her plate mostly empty.

Standing from the table the girl shot a glance around the room ready to stand up to anyone who got in her way. She wanted to go to Tybalt but she figured that would be a bad choice, the same as Preston. She couldn't go to either of her friends, otherwise people whould think of her as the person who was written about in the Rumor Has It paper. And she was not that sort of girl, in fact she knew she was much more of a loner then the paper tried to make her out to be. Walking out of the Hall she wondered why no teacher was stopping this maddness. Her best friend just got called a wimp, in writting in front of the entire school. She couldn't stand it. The young girl decided to head to the pitch and take a ride to calm herself down.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top