Closed Put My Walls Up High

[Theodore Westwick]

It was hard to believe that Theodore's fifth year had begun, and that his brother still wasn't talking to him. He hated the silence and the loneliness, and hated that he didn't know how to fix it. It seemed he had hurt Edmund more than he had ever imagined, and sometimes he wished he could go back to do it all over. But he couldn't, and it was almost a relief to be back at Hogwarts where he didn't have to see his brother all the time. The two of them had barely said two words to each other, even while being in the same house for months. Their parents had tried to get them to talk, but so far, it hadn't done any good. Theodore now tended to stay away from where his brother was, and he was starting to feel a simmering resentment towards Edmund. Sure, he knew he was the one who had messed up, but his brother wasn't giving him an inch. They were supposed to be twins, and twins forgave each other.

Theodore was trying to focus on the book he was reading. It was interesting, as it was about magical fauna from different continents. But he couldn't help but feel like Edmund would have liked this book as well, and the thought of how they used to read everything together made him sad. He pushed his glasses up his nose, a way he had decided to differentiate himself from his brother, and tried to look more closely at the page as if that would make focusing easier. All it did was make him squint even with his glasses on, and his thoughts soon started drifting again. He had found a quiet corner in the library to read, but it was difficult to do so when his own mind wouldn't stop tormenting him. He wished he could talk to someone, and had even glanced over at the school counsellor's office door a few times. But he wasn't that desperate, and knew the woman had nothing to say to him that would actually help. He let out a small sigh before he turned the page, even if he had barely processed any of the information on the previous page.

 

[Kira Wolf]

Kira had been really tired lately, but that didn't stop her from going about her day like she usually did. That meant going to the library. Of all the things changing in her life lately, it was nice to see some things stayed the same. She knew if she wanted she could go find Caelan, but she wasn't sure he would enjoy her company when she was so tired. She ran her fingers over the spines of the books as she walked. The library was such a familiar place. She felt relaxed here. She had just paused to study an interesting title when she heard a small sigh. She glanced up to see Theodore Westwick sitting nearby reading. She smiled softly. "Hello, Theodore," She offered a friendly greeting. He hadn't been overly friendly in the past, but she supposed that could have been her fault. Honestly, it was so long ago now she doubted it even mattered. She took the book off the shelf. It might be worth a look. She turned back to Theodore with a smile. Maybe he'd be up for some company.

 

[Theodore Westwick]

Theodore found himself fiddling with his glasses a lot, unused to their presence on his face. He tried again to focus on his book, but his gaze was once again drawn to the door to the counsellor's office. But what would he say to her? 'Help I have no friends? I don't know how to make any?' He was sure she wouldn't actually laugh at him, but probably would still find him pathetic. He couldn't take that step. He jumped a little as he heard someone call his name, and quickly turned his head. He stared at the girl who had spoken, frowning a little. He recognized her, a few years ago he and his brother had tried to intimidate her. He remembered it hadn't really worked that well. Why was she talking to him now? "Why are you talking to me?" He asked her, figuring he may as well be direct.

 

[Kira Wolf]

Kira smiled as Theodore asked her why she would talk to him. "Well, why not?" She asked him. "We're in the same year, the same house, and we see each other often even if we don't talk much. There's no harm in being friendly, is there?" She walked over, holding her book to her chest. "Is it alright if I sit with you?" She offered a shy smile. Somehow, he seemed more approachable with his glasses. She was surprised at how easy she found it to speak with him. Normally, boys made her uncomfortable. That didn't seem to be the case today though.

 

[Theodore Westwick]

Theodore blinked at her, confused and a bit annoyed that she seemed not to think that talking to him was a big deal. It seemed like he and Edmund really hadn't made much of an impression on her. "There's no use in being friendly either." He countered, though he was aware that he was purposely keeping the conversation going. He hadn't thought they were in the same year, but Theodore wasn't sure. He hadn't paid his classmates much mind over the past years. When she asked if she could sit with him, he shrugged. Not too long ago he would have refused that outright. But now, he wasn't so sure. "You can sit wherever you like." He said dismissively.

 

[Kira Wolf]

Kira smiled at his statement. "There can be, sometimes." He shrugged, and she sat. "Well then, I'd like to sit here." She placed her book on the table in front of her. "I don't think we've spoken since you and your brother threatened me. Did I ever apologize for that day?" She inquired idly. She was aware the Westwick twins weren't on speaking terms. That might be why Theodore was talking to her now. Whatever the case was, she was glad for the company. They hadn't scared her before, and Theodore certainly didn't scare her now.

 

[Theodore Westwick]

Theodore hadn't actually expected the girl to join him, so watched her warily when she did. What was her angle? He shrugged again, then tried to look at his book. But the girl spoke, and he was quickly distracted. "Why would you apologize?" He asked her, incredulous now. "You said it yourself, me and my brother threatened you." He frowned. "If this is some way to get me to apologize to you instead, you can stop." He said, his voice annoyed. "It's years ago, and if it still bothers you, you're way too sensitive." In truth, he did feel a bit weird about some of the things he and his brother had done in the past. He wondered how Edmund felt about it, but knew he could never ask.

 

[Kira Wolf]

Kira laughed softly at Theodore's question. "Because you only threatened me because I ran into you both with all my books, didn't I?" She smiled at him. "I'm not looking for an apology, it's just good manners to apologize when you've done something wrong. If my sister finds out I went this long without apologizing, she'd have my head," Kira joked lightly, tracing the cover of her book with her fingers. "I don't think I've talked to either you or your brother since that night, or before. Seeing you tonight would naturally make me think of the one other interaction we've had." She tucked her hair behind her ear. He was a bit stand-offish, but that didn't bother her. She'd handled worse.

 

[Theodore Westwick]

Theodore was suspicious of this girl, sure she had some ulterior motive fo talking to him and apologizing out of the blue. But when she told him she had ran into them with her books, he vaguely remembered that. He blinked, surprised. How had he forgotten why he had threatened her? That made it all seem so... stupid and small. He and Edmund had really been mean about a little thing, so little he didn't even remember it now. He covered his surprise with a frown. "Oh, right." He said quickly. "And no, we didn't talk." He then frowned deeper. "I still don't understand why we are talking now." He sounded less angry, more genuinely confused.

 

[Kira Wolf]

Kira smiled at Theodore as he still questioned why she would talk to him. "It's the nice thing to do." She told him simply. "We see each other often. I think it's kinda nice to talk to the people near me sometimes. It's fun getting to know someone new." She smiled at him. "I know you have a twin brother. I have a brother and a sister, but neither are in school with me." She gave him a smile. "So we both know something about each other now. I think it could be nice to get to know each other. Maybe we could even be friends. But we won't know unless we try, right?" She tried to show him her point of view.

 

[Theodore Westwick]

This conversation was making Theodore feel a bit off balanced and confused, though he was trying his best to not just snap at the girl to go away. He was half convinced this was just some big trick to make fun of him, but maybe it wasn't. He had been pushing people away too much, and felt himself alone more often than not. "Oh." He just said with a shrug. "I guess it's nice if that's your sort of thing. But I don't need a ton of friends." He added casually, as if he didn't really care. He winced a bit as the girl mentioned his twin brother, but then listened as she talked about her own siblings instead. "Why aren't they? Are they squibs?" He asked her, frowning a bit. The idea of having a sibling that didn't go to school with him was a strange one, as his only frame of reference was having a twin. He scoffed a bit as she said they could be friends, not meeting her gaze. "I doubt it." He muttered..

 

[Kira Wolf]

Kira nodded as Theodore said he didn't need a lot of friends. "Well, my sister always says quality over quantity. A few good friends is better than a load of okay friends." She bit her lip as Theodore asked if her siblings were squibs. "I... don't know. My older brother was adopted, but we met his sister and she's a witch. As far as my sister... I'm not sure. My parents never said anything about magic before they... so I think I'm a muggle-born. But I'm not sure." She answered honestly. She raised a brow as he scoffed. "Well, we won't know if we don't try." She assured him with a soft smile before looking at his book. "I don't think I asked yet, but what are you reading?" She looked back to her book and showed it to him. "I'm reading a book that compares magic and non-magic plants and how they work together."

 

[Theodore Westwick]

Theodore shrugged as the girl said a few good friends was better than a load of okay friends. He had no idea if that was true, he'd never had more than one friend. For most of his life, it had been Edmund. Now Zoe had taken his place, but he definitely thought of her differently. He didn't think it was the same sort of thing at all, but he did think she was a good friend to him, despite his own attempts to push her away. He regretted asking the girl about her family when she started to explain, because it seemed very long and complicated. But he did notice her talk about her parents, and realized that they had probably passed away. He had a morbid curiosity, but knew better than to ask. It... seemed too unkind to do so, even though Theodore usually hardly cared about that. "Oh. So you knew nothing about magic before Hogwarts?" He asked her instead. "That... sounds awful. You missed out on a lot." He informed her. His favorite pastime before Hogwarts had been to research magical creatures and spells with his brother, the darker the better. Their childhood would have been more boring without it. "It's about magical creatures." He told her, showing her the cover. "I'm reading about the Lethifold, do you know it?" He had to admit that the girl's book seemed somewhat interesting, and he reluctantly nodded. "Perhaps I will read that one day." He told her, which was almost a compliment of her reading choice coming from him.

 

[Kira Wolf]

Kira shook her head no in response to his question. She gave him a small smile as he said she missed out. "I did, I think. I suppose if you're thinking positively it's given me an eagerness to learn about this new world." She offered. He told her what he was reading and she leaned forward a bit without thinking to see the book. "Oh, that's one of the darker creatures, isn't it? I'm afraid that's about all I know. My friend Sapphire adores creatures, so she could probably tell you more." She leaned back with a small smile. "I could tell you more about plants than creatures," She smiled. "Did you know that if you're touching the trunk of a Wiggentree, it will protect you from the attack of dark creatures?" She told him. He seemed to have an interest in the darker things.

 

[Theodore Westwick]

Theodore shrugged as the girl gave a positive spin on her background. "You can see it that way." He said reluctantly. He still thought it was rather sad that muggleborns missed out on a lot, and he thought it wasn't mean of him to say so. But he also knew that he didn't have the best grasp of what was socially acceptable, so he was happy to go on to a different topic of conversation. "Creatures are pretty nice, but I only like the dark ones." He told her. "They are the most fascinating." He didn't know who Sapphire was, but imagined she probably enjoyed cuddly unicorns. "Plants are okay too. But I also like the darker ones there." He told her. "I did not know that about the Wiggentree, though. Did you know Devil's Snare can strangle you without you noticing it until it's too late?"

 

[Kira Wolf]

Kira smiled as Theodore seemed to reluctantly agree with her. Hoping she wasn't overstepping her bounds, she reached over and lightly placed her fingers on his hand. "Hey, it's totally okay if we don't agree. You know what I think, and I know what you think, sorta. That's a good thing." She withdrew her hand, not wanting to push too far. Kira nodded as he talked about his view on creatures. "The more dangerous they are, the more interesting they can be. I get that. I like the bird-like creatures. I think it must feel so... free to fly." She giggled. "Sapph likes Chimaeras."

She listened as he told her he liked darker plants before continuing on about Devil's Snare. "I didn't know that! I knew they didn't like sunlight. Hm... hold on a minute." She stood and walked back into the shelves, returning after a few minutes. She held up a book and smiled. "Have you read this one yet? It's a guide to all the most dangerous magical plants."

 

[Theodore Westwick]

As the girl touched his hand, Theodore jumped a bit and pulled his hand back, looking at her in alarm. He had no idea what she meant with the gesture, and stared at her accusingly. "I.. uh... I'm not interested." He stammered at her, mostly alarmed and bewildered by the idea. He tried to focus on the conversation, but his cheeks had turned pink. He pushed his glasses further onto his nose and looked away, shrugging as she mentioned she liked birds. "They can be nice." He muttered, feeling embarrassed now. He glanced up as she walked away and came back with a book. Theodore recognized it, and he nodded. "I... I have. With my brother." He mumbled. "There's some good ones in there." He shrugged.

 

[Kira Wolf]

Kira's eyes went wide as Theodore said he wasn't interested. She blinked a little. "Oh, oh no. I'm sorry Theodore, I didn't mean anything by it." She blushed and made note not to touch the boy again. "I just want to be friends," She reassured him. Besides, she had Caelan. Not that she would say that out loud right now.

Once she had returned with the book, she smiled a bit as Theodore said he'd already read it. She sat back down, putting the book aside. "Well, I was right in thinking it was your kind of book," She crossed her arms on the table. "Do you have a favorite book?" She asked him, knowing better than to dig too far into anything involving Edmund. The twins' feud wasn't exactly the talk of the school, but Kira was best friends with Sapphire, who was friends with Diana, so she knew enough.

 

[Theodore Westwick]

Kira's reaction made it clear to Theodore that he had jumped to conclusions, and he felt his face heat up as he realized that he had said something stupid and embarrassing. He was half tempted to yell at her, just to get her to back off, but she didn't seem to want to humiliate him for his mistake. In fact, she wanted to be his friend. Somehow, he felt like those words were keeping him here. He had been lonely for a long time, and while he wasn't sure how much he liked this girl, he couldn't turn her away. He hesitated at her question. "My... my favorite is Flesh-Eating Trees of the World." He said, his voice more subdued now in his embarrassment. "Do you have one?" He then added, trying to turn the conversation to something resembling normal again. The sooner they forgot about his mistake, the better.

 

[Kira Wolf]

Kira smiled, content to leave the subject of the miscommunication behind. She brightened as he asked about her favorite book. "That's a hard question," She bit her lip as she thought. "I like to read a lot of books... It's hard to pick one over the others." She tucked her hair behind her ear, looking to the books on the table. She paused as she noticed a hole in Theodore's sleeve. "Oh, Theodore," She blinked and started to reach for it, but stopped. No unwanted touching, right. "There's a hole in your sleeve. I could fix that for you if you want. My sister studied fashion in Paris, she taught me how to sew." She turned and started to sift through her bag. She always had a needle and thread on her for things like this.

 

[Theodore Westwick]

Theodore could understand Kira's uncertainty about her favorite book. He had a lot he liked as well, though his interests were fairly specific which made it somewhat easier to pick. He was startled by her next comment, and looked at her uncertainly before looking at his sleeve. "Oh." He said, then shrugged. Something like that hardly mattered. But then the girl went on to say she could fix it for him, and he watched her warily as she started to look in her bag. "You mean... right now?" He asked, a bit surprised by her sudden offer. He had never been in a situation quite like this before, and wasn't sure what the right answer to this was. "Uh. I suppose." He muttered, looking uneasy. What if that was weird and she was actually expecting him to decline? He didn't quite grasp all the nuances of social interactions yet, and was aware of that fact.