Please. Just Stop. I'm Trying To Forget.

[Ai Nightray]

Set a few days before the 2037 Graduation in the Hufflepuff Common Room

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Ai was on her 25th week of pregnancy. And seriously, it was not a very pleasant experience to say the least. While the thought of having a child within her was really and chanting and that she had fallen in love with the idea of her child being born within months, she still could not get a string of control with her overflowing hormones and her out-of-this-world cravings. And then, there was also the stress building up with the nearing graduation. NEWTs were over and dealt with and she could easily claim that she had done what she could and she had done satisfactorily with her exams. And now, there was one thing left to worry about. Graduation. Ai new that there should be nothing to worry about the whole event. But really, when you're pregnant, in school, and doing a speech in front of the student body, faculty and guests, wouldn't you think that it was hard? Well, it was pretty normal right? Ai sighed as she stood from the library and started making her way towards the Hufflepuff Common Room.

With a mutter of the password, Ai struggled to enter the common room. It was not much of a struggle that would kill her really. But rather, she was still not used to the uneven nor the ever-growing weight she had. It was not like she disliked it particularly. She just sometimes hoped that it was much easier to walk around. Especially in her robes. And now that she could nearly not see her toes. It was really annoying. She shook her head once as she tried to get rid of yet another mood swing approaching her. The Head Girl instead took the time to look around the common room. In a few days, she'd be leaving and most probably only ever see it in her memories and dreams. And she had a lot of memories there too. Well, one people out of many stood out when it came to common room memories. Ai released a breath that she had not realized that she had been holding and was about to go to her dormitory. She did not expect to come face to face though with the person she did not want to see right now for it only brought more painful memories to her already nearly broken being. Though his name escaping past her lips was something she could not stop. "Heath."

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[Heath James]

Heath James sat in the Hufflepuff common tomorrow reading a book. There was a new addition to the prefects face. He was wearing glasses. Over the summer of last year, Luvesha forced an eye appointment on him. At first, he was mixing up the order of words and numbers, but then he began to not be able to read anything. He had insisted that he was fine, but his sister was a worry wart. His eyes were working harder than they were supposed to, so he was prescribed glasses. They were mainly for reading, but wearing them full time wouldn't do any harm. First, he cut his hair, and now, he wore glasses.

Heath was reading mainly about how to build tables and small contraptions. He had decided to go into carpentry after graduation. They day would not come any faster, and Heath grew more and more impatient by the minute. Heath was proud of his decision, and he planned on sticking to it. He wasted his time trying to learn magic, so he was going to set the wand aside and actually use his hands. Heath blinked at the sound of his name. He did not even have to take his eyes off of his book to know who it was. He sighed. "Well. Well. Well. If it isn't the pregnant Head Girl." he said quite loudly. He turned to the next page in his book. He did not want to look at the woman. She was stupid. What kind of example was she setting for the younger years? It only made Heath angrier to think about his ex-girlfriend.
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[Ai Nightray]

Ai did not want to be alone with Heath. Somewhere that they could be alone was the last place she wanted to be in right now. Because seriously, how could she not? They had kissed in the beginning of the year. And it was not some silly peck on the cheek or some quick dab of the lips. It was a very heated and passionate make-out session. And one, though she doesn't want to admit, that she wanted to happen again. It was a bittersweet memory and it will just stay as that. Nothing more than a memory. That's all it would be now and she should learn to accept that. However, that was not the case right now for she had realized things when she and Miah had broken up. She liked Miah. However, she loved Heath. And truthfully, she still did. Perhaps, she thought of Miah as her last string to sanity, so she gave him everything. Unfortunately she realized things a little too late. Things could never go back to the way they were. And now, here she was, facing her best dream and worst nightmare all the same.

Ai just stood there frozen and rigid. With her current state, she did not want to face him. Around others, she could stand proud and be fine with everything. But around him, her walls just... crumble. Like it's first year all over again when she was nothing but that silly girl, punching the walls, acting mean and crying about the smallest of things. Sad thing was though, she could not act like that around him. She could never be herself around him ever again. She would always have to set that boundary in between them and now, she just had the full-on explosion that it wasn't just a boundary it between them now. It was a wall. The wall around him that she had broken down? It was replaced with a higher one. A stronger one. A thicker one. And one that was determined to never let her in again. How could he not hate her? She had opened her legs for another man and in front of him, she could feel nothing but shame. How can she even respond to his words of ice? She could not build a wall around her like he did. She was just not that strong. "I have a name, Heath. And you have no need to emphasize such things," she said as she tried to keep her calm. She already knew she was in the wrong. It just made it even more painful to hear it from him. How can I even unlove him? were the thoughts that accompanied the pain within.
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[Heath James]

Heath did not even want Ai to say his name. He flipped to the next page in his book, even though he was not done reading it. How could she say she still loved him and go and sleep with another guy? It was none of his business, but it still hurt. It was too late for them to try and make it work. There was no way he was going to take on a baby. He had too much to explore outside of the castle walls. Ai was going to have a difficult life. That baby was going to hold her back. She would have to put it first no matter how much she regretted it. He shrugged. "I can't even say your name because you're so disgusting." he told her. He knew that he was being harsh, but he was angry. He felt betrayed. He still loved that crazy, pregnant Head Girl. He was not going to let it show. She was not good for him anymore. Luvesha would slap him across the face for making such a stupid decision and pushing Ai away. But, he was selfish. He was not going to let anything hold him back, no matter what. "You're still here? You should go hook up with some other dude. That must be what you do in your free time."
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[Ai Nightray]

Though words had left Ai's lips, the rest of her being remained frozen. Her brain kept on telling her to leave. A part of her heart wanted to leave because she knew that if she stayed, even for a few more moments, pain would just come rushing to her. But of course, the rest of her refused to listen. She remained there, frozen and not moving, just waiting for something from Heath. And how she wished that she had listened to her brain. She should've left. She should've gone to her dorm before the words even left his mouth. Of course he thought of her that way. Disgusting. His words ran through her mind endlessly and she couldn't help but think of herself as such. She had never had any thought like that since she had first found out about her pregnancy and now here she was again. But she shook her head. No. She was not going to think like that anymore. She would be fine. She had to be. For her and for the baby. And despite the painful clenching in her chest, she started with strides towards her dorm. But she stopped. His words rung heavy within the air and the secluded room saved for the two of them.

Heath was accusing her. She already knew that numerous people had thought of her as such. But hearing it from him. Hearing that he thought of her like some cheap wh*re was deadly. Ai was angry. She was hurt. And she was on the verge of death all over again. No. She would not give in like that ever again. She promised Ryuuji-niisan. She'll be strong even if she was at her weakest. Tearful strides were made towards Heath before she grabbed the book and flung it behind her with power she forgot she ever had. Two distinct sounds resonated within the room. The book colliding with the wall or the floor (she wasn't sure) and flesh meeting flesh as she slapped Heath. "You are unbelievable. You're the one who broke up with me and wanted to f**king move on. Why should you care if I'm bloody pregnant?" she seethed and though she knew that she should've just left after those words, she couldn't. She wanted to let him know that he was dead wrong about her. And perhaps that was a big mistake on her part. But before she knew it, angry words had left her mouth before she could even think and no one could ever blame her for it. "You think I'm just some cheap wh*re up for grabs to open her legs any time? Think what you want. You're no better than the f**ker who knocked me up, you **shole."
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[Heath James]

Heath kept himself from feeling bad about his words. He couldn't. He had already said them, so he could not take them back. He was more disappointed than he was angry with Ai. Maybe if she hadn't have been so busy, it would be both of them worry about having a child, and not Ai worrying all by herself. It would have been the both of them that made the huge mistake and have to live with it, not just Ai. He was disappointed that she chose someone else over him to sleep with. His pride was hurt. He was finding every reason to put himself down because Ai had not chosen him or come back to him. That kiss could have marked them being back together, but Ai had chosen responsibilities over love. She would always choose everything over him. That was the reason why he broke up with her. In a way, that kiss had been her last chance to be with him again.

Ai had thrown his book across the room and slapped him. Heath stood up angrily. She had the nerve to slap him! She was lucky that she was pregnant, or else she would be on the floor. He had already gotten into a fight with Conan, he guessed it was inevitable for him to get into a fight with Ai as well. "I broke up with you because you kept choosing other things over me! You chose to have sex with some other kid instead of me? If you had paid a little, no a lot, more attention to me, we would not be arguing about this!" he yelled. Heath, obviously was much more informed on birth control than the bloke that knocked Ai up. He scoffed. "I am better than him because I wouldn't have gotten you pregnant in the first place!" he retorted. He was disappointed, angry, and disgusted with her, but he did not think that she was a floozy. It was still inexcusable. "I tried and tried and tried in our relationship, Ai. But, I was not enough for you. I was always left alone to fail by myself, an you went off, got good grades, became president of Heta Omega, and became f*cking Head Girl! Head Girl, Ai. What am I? I am not even going to be able to stay in the magical world because I am a failure!" he ranted. He looked Ai straight in the eyes before he continued. "You are screwing yourself over by making mistakes like this! You're supposed to be better than me, and that is why I broke up with you. I did not want to hold you back, so don't you dare say that you went out and slept with some dude to get over me!"
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[Ai Nightray]

Ai was on the verge of exploding. What was she doing to herself? She was only giving herself more pain by not walking out. But no, she just had to stay there and maybe, just maybe he would think differently of her. Why did he matter to her anyways? She really was a sucker for moving on. And she knew that, but she really did need to get over him no matter what happens. Though for now, she was going to deal with this situation she found herself in. "Well, then you should have told me that!" she exclaimed at him about the fact that he felt that she was choosing her responsibilities over him. But it was just the opposite. She couldn't care less about her responsibilities. "You were the one pushing me to do better! You wanted me to be better! What did you think I want?!" she asked incredulously at him. She did not want any recognition any more from the time they got together. All she wanted was to make him happy. And she thought that she was making him happy by doing her best with her academics and everything related to school because she always pushed him to do better. Only recently did she find out that she was having the opposite effect. "I wanted you! I would've given up everything but you were the one who wanted me to push my limits!" she informed him or at least tried to remind him of the small instances that they were able to get together.

Ai stared at Heath in utter shock at tears formed through her eyes and fell before she even noticed them. How could he tell her that?! "Oh, so just because you can't get me pregnant it makes you a whole lot better than him?! As if thinking of me as some kind of wh*re didn't get you on the same level as him that is with another girl right now?!" she exclaimed at him. She was not an easy f*ck and he had no right to tell her that he was a better person than Miah just because he would be smarter to not get her pregnant. In fact, that hurt her even more for a reason that she barely knew. Perhaps she was being irrational. Perhaps the hormones she had were going haywire. She knew not anymore. But more words of his continued to surprise her indeed. And she could feel her jaw dropping, her hand flailing and running through her hair as she felt her head just about getting ready to burst with the headache she was starting to get. "You were not enough for-?! Are you f*cking kidding me?! I would have dropped out of this hellhole if it weren't for you!" she was purely running on emotion now and not even thinking of her words. She didn't think she could be this emotional towards him. She didn't think that she still had this much bottled feelings over the break-up they had.

"Did you think I wanted to be anything that I got from here?! The only thing I enjoyed was being the Quidditch Captain and even that I would've given away if only you told me! I always told you to tell me if you were already bothered by my responsibilities, but what did you always say?! NOTHING!" Ai screamed at him. Well, it was the truth. Every single time, she tried to ask him if he was still okay with her workload. Everytime, she told him that she would be okay no matter what his answer was. And every time, his answer was the same. "I am not a mind-reader Heath! I wouldn't know anything if you wouldn't tell me straight out what you were thinking! What you were feeling! So don't f*cking throw at my face that you were the only one who tried in our relationship!" the Hufflepuff cried out in anguish as she covered her face in her hands, as if that could help her from going down into insanity. As if wiping her tears away would save her from the sea of sorrow she had found herself in. But no. Only one could save her from the sea of sorrow she had gotten herself into. And while before she would think that it was Heath, she knew now that only she could save herself. Cause every single time, she would find herself alone to pick up the shattered pieces every person has left in their wake. "I did not want to be better than you. I did not want you to decide whether I could screw myself over or not. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to make mistakes with you. I wanted you to hold me back. I wanted you." Ai tried to told him calmly though her voice came in broken fits. And with one last effort, she couldn't help but scream at him. "And yes, I got together with some dude, had sex with him thinking that he wouldn't leave me just to get over you and forget your d*mn f*cking goodbye kiss!" He might as well know it all if he was going to be like this. Now, she just wished that she never came into the common room. The happy memories they had shared here. All gone. Replaced by the tears of pain she had spilled there.
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[Heath James]

Heath did not realized how f*cking dense Ai was. Did he have to tell her everything for her to get the picture? It was as if he was the female and she was the male. Heath went walked towards where his book was thrown. Poor thing. He was actually trying to read, but it got stolen from his hands by a pregnant Head Girl. He had to emphasize that she was pregnant. She was with child in school. She deserved to have her badge taken away. She really did deserve that. How could she make such a stupid mistake? He rolled the book up and held it tightly. "I would have let you drop out of I didn't love you." he said. So, pushing Ai to be more was a given. He loved her, and he wanted to see her succeed. He definitely did not want to see her pregnant.

Ai continued to ramble. He slowly walked over to her with his rolled up book in hand. He had a lot of luck. If the book had been a hardcover one, he would be screwed. He felt strangely calm right now. He honestly hoped that their Head of House would walk in and shut Ai up. He was silently praying for the woman to come and put an end the the nonsense that Ai was spewing. He could not even say anything anymore. A majority of what Ai was saying was going through one ear and out the other. He was wasting his time listening to her sh*t. He rolled his eyes at the mind reader part. No sh*t. "I was saying that I tried harder than you did. Yes, you tired in the relationship, but admit that you didn't try hard enough. Our relationship was done before I even broke it off, Ai." he said as calmly as he could. Heath could not help but roll his eyes again. At her last words, Heath hit Ai on the head with the rolled up book. It was not too hard, but it was hard enough for it to be sore for a little bit. "That was a stupid move, don't ya think? he laughed. He could not hide it. It was so funny. She expected a random, guy would not leave her. Heath could not help but laugh harder. Wow. That was hilarious. He could feel his face getting red from him laughing so hard. "I should hit you again for being so ridiculous." he told her before he fell on the couch, while laughing his *ss off.
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[Ai Nightray]

Ai wanted to block him out. She wanted to block everything out. After all, she didn't think she could take more of this. She already knew how much of an idiot she was. She already knew that she was as stupid as sh*t and she already knew that she couldn't keep any kind of relationship to save her own life and she didn't need Heath throwing everything at her face. And so, she did the best she possibly could to drown out the sounds within the common room. It wouldn't be long before people entered the room and the Hufflepuff would rather be caught calm and collected rather than this crying and sobbing mess that she was right now. After all, she was already pregnant, there was no use in showing them her weak and vulnerable side as well. Nope, she wouldn't give any of them the satisfaction of such. She was done. She had had enough of everything that went on and she had enough of pleasing other people and trying to fit in within the messed up world the school had created for its students. And she had enough of Heath. She loved him and probably still does but he was obviously done with her and if that was the case, then she had no choice but to move on. And she was going to start by leaving. Or so she originally thought.

Ai was just about to leave. She had wiped away her tears and forced the rest at bay just like she had always done. This was nothing. She'd get through this night. And so, she had finished wiping her eyes though there was nothing to be done with the redness and the soreness as well as the tear-stained cheeks she now possessed. All there is to be done was walk away. But he hit her with a book and started laughing his *ss off. Why was even laughing? And it struck her. And without a moment to lose, fury and rage enveloped her. Her hands clenched into fists and if it were not for her pregnancy she would have lashed out at him by now. And not just a simple slap at that. "F**k you," were the bitter words that had left her lips at that moment. She couldn't help it. How dare he laugh at her? "He was a friend. Just like you were. And you're a f**king son of a b**ch just like he is," she said as she kicked him with whatever strength she could retain with the balance she could afford. She didn't care whether he hit his legs, his feet or the chair. She didn't care. And with that said, she turned her back on him and started to walk away.
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