Closed Picnic Lunches

[Vader Hume]

Vader was tired - but that wasn’t really new. He was just feeling that day for some reason, he refused to believe it was because he’d had so little sleep in the last few days and just not slept that whole night, Pho had wanted to meet for breakfast and Vegeta had tripped him up when he’d been heading to bed, thankfully he had been left unbruised from it, sore but unbruised. He had plans with Ava, and while he might’ve cancelled his plans with Pho, he wouldn’t cancel his plans with her. Vader had spent the better part of the morning in the accio room, jumping between reading his notes for class and working on the yearbook. He had a timer set for when he needed to leave to be able to be early to seeing Ava, so when it went off, he finished what he was doing and put on a thick jumper and headed out. The day was not particularly warm but it wasn’t too cold either, he felt rather snug in his jumper. He hadn’t had any coffee in a few hours, he hadn’t wanted to be too jittery around Ava, but his bones were beginning to feel heavy. He had the blanket with him and at the cliffs he placed it out and sat down. It was magical, stopping it from getting wet or damp. He sat down on the edge bringing his knees up to his chest. The sun was out, giving a little warmth to the air. Ava was bringing the food, so he was just waiting for her. He lay back on the blanket and stared up at the blue sky. He blinked a few times, and just closed his eyes. Ava wouldn’t mind if he took a small power nap before she got there. But still, despite how tired he felt, how snug and warm he felt in the jumper, reassured that he wouldn’t get randomly attacked and knowing Ava wouldn’t mind if he dozed, he just couldn’t relax. Vader sighed heavily and lightly rubbed his eyes just waiting, staring up at the sky until his best friend appeared. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava had been in the kitchens with Lily all morning, making a few of Vader's favorites. He was struggling and it killed her, but she was determined to do her best to help. Sadly, the best she could do was make him banana muffins. She knew they wouldn't be as good as Lily's, but Lily had been supervising her so they should still be good, right? After finally managing to get a Lily approved batch, Ava gathered her basket of muffins and skipped down to the cliffs, humming lightly to herself. She spotted him quickly, heart hurting a little. Oh, even from here he just looked so tired. She hurried a bit more, plopping down next to him. "Hi, Timmy!" She greeted, crossing her legs and patting her lap, inviting him to lay his head there.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader looked over slightly as Ava approached and sat down next to him. He gave her a tired smile, and looked towards where she was tapping on her lap. He looked away from her and just back towards the sky. He seemed to hesitate for a moment before his weariness took over and he just moved his head to be on her lap and adjusting his position slightly. He sighed heavily, letting all of the bone deep weariness make itself felt as he relax. She always made him relax, but he wasn’t even sure that he could sleep now. ”What did you bring to eat?” he asked her, feeling his stomach growl lightly as he spoke, and laughed lightly at it’s sound, but he knew his laugh sounded tired. He was trying to be interested and engaged with what Ava might say, wanted to appear more fine than he was. Ava was giving up her lunch time to spend time with him, he didn’t want to ruin it with his tired attitude or because he couldn’t properly listen to her. She was always such a good friend to him, had always been and he knew that he had been such a terrible friend to her recently, and he needed to be better.​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava smiled as Vader moved into her lap, automatically running her fingers through his hair. "I brought your favorite. Banana muffins. I made them myself," she announced, taking one from the basket and pressing it into his hands. "Lily walked me through it so they should be okay," she told him, still running her fingers through his hair. She always felt so at ease with Vader around. She smiled at him and took a book from her bag. "Go ahead and rest Timmy," she murmured, pressing a kiss to his forhead. "I brought a book."

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader found himself calming slightly, his mind easing off a little as she began running her hands through his hair. He smiled at her when she said what sort of muffins she’d made. Feeling bad of course that he had done the most minimal for her, literally the blanket and being on time, but he took it. He tore off a little bit and began eating the muffin, ”This is really good Helene,” he said with a mouthful of muffin, savouring the sweet flavour. He looked at her, when she told him rest, somehow realising that he needed it. But, Vader just sighed, he knew, as comfortable as he was currently, he couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t just get his body to rest like it was supposed to. ”It’s okay, I’m not too tired,” he lied, knowing that it was the most bare faced lie he’d ever told Ava. He sighed at himself disappointed that after all the good she did for him, he was still lying to her. ”Somethings wrong with me Ava,” he looked at her and then away from her, moving his head to stare at the open cliff. He sighed heavily and put another piece of muffin into his mouth, ”I’m so exhausted Ava,” he couldn’t help the weariness in his tone, ”but every time I go to sleep, I just lay there, awake,” he admitted, it felt odd, for the first time being really honest about it rather than just making a joke, but he hadn’t slept well in months and it was only getting worse.​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava giggled as Vader told her the muffins were good. "Thank you! I made them just for you so I'm really glad you like them," She told him, smiling brightly down at him. Her smile faded as he lied to her face. A look of hurt passed over her face quickly but she hid it almost as soon as it appeared. She was uncharacteristically quiet as he spoke. She listened, shifting slightly to a more comfortable position beneath him. She continued to knead her fingers in his hair, taking her other hand and running her fingers lightly down his face.

"I... don't know much about this sort of thing," She told him gently. "But... thank you for telling me." She leaned down and kissed his forehead again. "Maybe... it isn't a physical problem." She started gently. She'd thought a lot about what could be going on with Vader. She had spent hours researching insomnia, trying everything she could to help him. "Vader... maybe you aren't sleeping because there's something weighing you down. Emotionally, mentally, that kind of thing." She let her hand fall to his shoulder. "Vader... what's on your mind when you can't sleep?" She asked him.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader knew that Ava could tell when he lied, it made him feel all the worse every single time he did, but it was almost like he couldn’t help it from happening, so used to just lying about how he was doing, because what if they took his accio away from him, what if they didn’t want to be his friend because of how difficult he was and how difficult he was to be around. He couldn’t help therefore to let the truth or part of the truth slip out. He fell silent when he’d finished, feeling not much calmer but a little relieved that he’d finally said it. His secondary thought was that she wouldn’t believe him and that she might get annoyed at him for not saying, though he thought it was fairly evident that he’d not been sleeping well. If the plain exhaustion on his face was anything to go by. However, he shouldn’t have been surprised when Ava was understanding, was grateful for having been told, was affectionate towards him. He had thought it wasn’t a physical problem but that didn’t make him feel any better or any more at ease with it. It just confirmed that something was wrong with him, and increased his worry that if people knew all of what he thought was wrong with himself they wouldn’t want to be his friend. Even if objectively for somethings he knew nothing was wrong with him. ​

​

Vader looked back up at Ava when she continued, at the question he huffed, ”Everything,” he replied with a sigh, ”It used to only be when I was really stressed, so exams, accio deadlines, just maybe a night or two. But now it’s nearly every night, now, even when I’m not stressed and busy, I can’t get to sleep. Some nights, I'll get to sleep and then one of the other boys will make a noise and it’ll wake me up and that’s it,” he couldn’t help the exhausted whine in his voice, the words flowing out of him as he actually said what was going on. He left out the details about Vegeta being one of the reasons he struggled to sleep in the dorm. ”After the yuleball last semester, Ava, when I found you in the north tower, I hadn’t slept in days. And even after everything that had happened that day had been resolved, and the accio stuff was safe, I still couldn’t sleep.” Vader told her meeting her gaze, trying to press how bad it was to her, though she probably knew. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava listened silently as Vader ranted, continuing to stroke his hair as he spoke. "You seem to be able to sleep with me," she commented softly after several moments of silence. "So let's find somewhere hidden. Set aside. And we can build our own little room." She smiled, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "And we can stay there. Just us. And if you sleep, perfect. And even if you don't," she brushed her thumb lightly down his cheek. "Then I'll be right there with you and we'll stay up together." She nodded decisively.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader shrugged, ”I sleep a little better around you, but I know it doesn’t work as well when I get really stressed,” the boy told her, he listened as she continued. He sighed slightly and looked away from her. It sounded nice, Ava was being nice to him to even suggest it. He knew that she would go out of her way to help him sleep, but he couldn’t help but feel worse at the thought of it. Especially as she insisted that they would stay up together if he couldn’t sleep. She’d sacrifice her own sleep for him. He knew he couldn’t ask that of her, he knew how bad his sleep was, he knew how hard each day was when running on next to or just no sleep. He knew she meant well, he knew she was just being a good friend to him. He felt admittedly pathetic, an awful friend, an awful person. He knew he was just dragging her down. Talking about it made him feel fractionally lighter but he hadn’t talked about it seriously because he knew that she would want to help. ”Helene, I can’t ask you to do that,” he said, ”There are points where I’ll go days without proper rest and it sucks Ava, I don’t want you to have experience that because of me” he could hear his own frustration and distaste in himself as he spoke. ”Can’t we just spend time like this? This makes me feel better, I promise it helps,” for once he wasn’t lying, it wasn’t sleep, but even like this, he relaxed enough that it didn’t feel like his head was buzzing. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava looked back to Vader, listening to him speak. "You're not asking me to do anything, silly. I want to do it," She chided him gently, still running her fingers through his hair. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Timmy," She tried to catch his eye. "You're my best friend. I would never have made it without you. You're... you're the only reason I stayed in school." She admitted gently, perhaps for the first time. "I... I never told anyone. But... for a while, I was going to leave. Beg my dad to let me stay at home with him, be homeschooled. But... but then I met you." She turned and looked away herself. She had never really spoken about any of this, but she needed Vader to understand exactly how much she needed him.

"I was going to leave. But then I met this boy," She turned and smiled warmly at him. "And before I knew what was happening there were comic books and legos and I wasn't so alone anymore. And for the first time in my life, I... I felt like I could take on anything. As long as he was around." She ran her hand lightly down his face. "You're the only one who has never left me," She smiled softly. "I would do anything for you, Vader," She brushed his hair out of his eyes. "If you really don't want me staying up with you, then alright, but will you at least consider my idea? Maybe if we're together, at least there's a chance you could sleep a little better. Or maybe we can meet up for this more," She told him. "I know you don't think you have the time, but if we meet like this three or four times a week for a few hours, then maybe you could be at least a little more rested and you'd be more alert for your work with Accio," She pleaded gently. He was suffering so much, it hurt her to think there wasn't anything they could do to make it better.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader sighed lightly as she spoke, he listened to what she was saying. He hadn’t realised how much he had helped her, that he was part of the reason she was still at the school. But it didn’t make him feel all that better, he just knew how much easier things had been a few years before, when his worries had only kept him up a little, but he loved Ava so much, he didn’t want her to experience what he did. He had been managing for a while, he knew it was getting out of hand, he knew he wasn’t coping nearly as well as he was saying he was. His new normal was a lot amount of sleep. His new normal was having to drink double the amount of coffee to feel less tired, but it didn’t make him shake any less. The things with Vegeta, that girl who’d tried to take his camera, the stuff with Isabelle and Pho, and the stuff with Goku. He looked at her, holding her gaze for a moment, seemingly almost searching for a lie in everything that she had told him, looking for a budding resentment towards him because of his absolute mess of a life that he was dragging her into constantly, but he didn’t find any of it. It was almost overwhelming to him to be loved so plainly, with no attachments, with no difficulties. ​

​

He nodded, ”I’ll consider it, Helene,” he told her with a small smile, it was a little forced, since he didn’t have the energy to do more but it was there. ”I think if it gets worse I’ll go to the nurse and see if she can’t give me some sleeping potion, that way neither of us have to worry,” he said to her, at the very least if even resting with Ava didn’t work, especially as he got into his OWL year then it would be an option. A healer or nurse would want to help him, they could help him with something that would of course work it was a potion. ”How are you Helene? We still spend so much time on me, are you studying okay? I can make some time this week if you need any help with anything,” Vader had a less harsh tone when he spoke of himself but it was laced in. He also knew he didn’t have that much time, but given that he knew he’d barely sleep so long as he moved some things around, do some stuff at night or in the early hours then he would have time for Ava.​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava gave a soft sigh. She knew he was still pushing himself too hard, but she knew he wouldn't listen to her if she tried to push it. She bent down and kissed his forehead. Maybe she could just smother him with affection. "I think that's the best idea you've had in a while," She teased, still running her fingers through his hair. She blushed and looked away as he asked about her studying. "It's fine," She lied, not wanting to bring her grades into it. She would just never have good grades, she couldn't focus. But that was alright, she was going to be an artist, she didn't need good grades for that. She shook her head, changing the subject from her grades quickly. "Actually, my dad is dating Arthur's mom. My little brother? He seems really taken with her." She shrugged. "I guess third times the charm," She bit her lip. "Maybe he just wanted a boy," She joked idly. "Could you picture me as a boy?" She stared off into the distance, not noticing how her hand had stilled in his hair. "I could cut my hair really short, spike it up a bit, have rips in all my paint-stained jeans..." She bit her lip again. If she was more boyish would her dad pay more attention to her?

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader looked at her when she replied to his question about studying. He knew that it was a bit of a sore spot for her, that she was always trying but that it didn’t always work out like she wanted it to. The gryffindor wanted to help, to be useful to her and pay her back for all of the help she gave to him so often, ”if ever you want to study, just come fine me,” he said to her, knowing that perhaps just him repeating that he would help, would encourage her to believe him. Vader listened as she explained what her dad was doing. He looked at her and tried to imagine her as a boy. He wondered what it might’ve been like had she been a boy and they’d been friends that way. Vader is sure it wouldn’t have affected much, or maybe it would’ve. Especially given all of his problems. ”Your dad should accept and love whoever you are,” Vader told her, if she was as she was or if she cut her hair, he knew for his own sake he hoped that his parents would always love and accept him. Vader always had mixed feelings about Ava’s father, because he was both cool and in other cases utterly awful. ”You gonna come round to mine over the holiday break?”​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava giggled. "Why dont I find you to build Lego models instead?" She asked, wrinkling her nose and twirling his hair around her finger. She shrugged as he said her dad should love her how she was. She scooted back, moving Vaders head from her lap and scooting around so she could lay out next to him, folding her hands on his chest and resting her chin lightly on her hands. "Of course!" She chided him gently. "What do you wanna do? I was looking at some new models last time I was home. Or we can go explore the caves."