Perchance

[Veronica Willows]

Even though it was well past midnight, and especially considering the past few nights of fitful sleep she had experienced, Veronica still found it surprisingly easy to keep her eyes open. Tonight the nightmare had stepped up a notch and she had woken to find herself gripping her sheets frantically, sweat beginning to gather across her forehead and in the small of her back. She had lain there, residual terror from the images still plastered across her mind mixing with the sudden fear that she might have woken one of the other girls in her dorm. No one had shown any signs of movement, so she couldn't have screamed, but Veronica hadn't wanted to wait there for a voice to float through the darkness and ask if she was alright. With her heart thudding and rolling around her chest, she quickly gathered shoes, a dressing gown and some of the parchment she always had sitting everywhere before creeping out of the dormitory and down to the Ravenclaw common room.

She stood there for a moment, but still felt somewhat cornered. What if Phoebe had woken up, what if she tried to follow her? Veronica didn't want to talk about the nightmares, didn't want to have to listen to them solidify with words or give them the chance to escape out into the daylight. Staying here was just asking for that to happen; she couldn't do it. Hesitantly, she pulled open the door to the common room and crept out, feeling about two inches tall as she heard it shut behind her. She wasn't allowed to be out of her house at night - how on earth had the nightmare been bad enough to bring her to this? Finally, after about a minute of motionless panic, Veronica found her feet taking her in the direction of the owlery. Although it not a conscious decision, it had clearly been the right one because once she arrived she could feel herself beginning to settle, influenced no doubt by the soft noises of the owls as they went about their business. Making a little place for herself on the floor, she leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes, the soft and shaky smile on her face belied by the white-knuckled grip she had on the parchment still clutched in her fist.

 

[Tomas Wode]

Tomas had not expected something like this to happen to him at all, as he thought that he'd probably be more busy with figuring out how magic worked, but found himself awake and unable to sleep for the third night in a row. He was missing his family more and more as the weeks passed by, wishing he would be back with them instead of in a school where he knew almost nobody. The first couple of days went by without any problems, but now that he was following lessons and sort of began to understand the basics, he couldn't help to feel lonely each night he went to bed. Tomas sat down on a windowsill in the common room, staring at the cloudy night sky, when he decided to walk back up to the dormitory and get his writing equipment out of his backpack to write his mom and dad. After a short while the boy finished the letter and sneakily made his way up towards the Owlery.

He entered the Owlery with caution, thinking that professors might be waiting around the corner to catch students sneaking about past the curfew, but instead found a girl sitting on the ground with her head against the stone wall and eyes shut. It was hard to see the girl's face as there was barely any light in the room so closed the door behind him and tiptoed towards her, not wanting to wake her up in case she had fallen asleep. Tomas hadn't expected anyone else to be up here at this time of the night so was very curious to find out who it was that was seemingly sleeping on the ground. A soft smile appeared on the boy's face when he was close enough to be able to recognise the stranger as his friend, Veronica. "Hi," Tomas whispered, and squatted down in front of his Ravenclaw friend. "Are you awake?"

 

[Veronica Willows]

Veronica didn't know how long she had been sitting against the wall before she heard the voice drift into the little world she'd made for herself here among the owls. It could have been only minutes, or an hour - perhaps she had been asleep, and she kept her eyes closed for just a moment more, hoping to lull her brain back into the peace she had found. To no avail, of course, because she was being rude... "Always awake," she muttered to the voice, slowly opening her eyes. It only took a second to recognise the boy crouched in front of her, but a moment more to convince herself that his presence was okay. She wouldn't see Tomas around very much - hadn't so far, she was always busy in the classes shared with Gryffindor - so she would be able to brush her reasons for being here off. He wouldn't notice a thing, and it made her feel a fraction more at ease. Pressing her back a little more firmly against the wall; drawing her knees up tighter to her chest, Veronica cleared her throat. "Hello - how have you been? I..." she trailed off, unwilling to give excuses for practically ignoring Tomas since the last time she had seen him, even though she hadn't meant to. That just happened sometimes with people. Perhaps a change of subject. "Why aren't you sleeping?" she asked softly, rubbing a piece of hair off the side of her face. Maybe not a safe change of subject, but he should be sleeping - heaven knows Veronica wished that she was doing so.

 

[Tomas Wode]

Tomas smiled when Veronica's eyes slowly opened. Although couldn't help to feel a little bad for perhaps waking her up. ''Yeah, me too.'' the Gryffindor replied back, implying that he was 'always awake' as well, because three days of almost no sleep seemed like always to him at this moment. Like her, Tomas moved towards the wall so he could sit next to her, and pulled his knees up towards his chest. He listened to the hooting owls for a moment before returning his attention to the girl next to him. ''I'm okay.'' he answered, though return the question because she trailed off. He held up the letter he was going to send to his parents when Veronica asked why he wasn't sleeping and smiled weakly. ''Homesick,'' the boy said with a soft chuckle, still perplexed. ''I haven't really slept in three days. I'm missing my family more and more each day.'' That was all he was going to say about it because he didn't want to talk about it with her, even though at this moment she was his only friend at Hogwarts - a friend he had barely seen or talked to throhought the weeks. ''What about you?'' Tomas asked in a soft voice, afraid that if they would speak louder that maybe a professor might hear them. ''Why aren't you sleeping in your own bed?'' It was strange that she was sleeping in the Owlery now that he thought about it.

 

[Veronica Willows]

As Tomas came to sit next to her Veronica automatically moved over a little, although it was more of a means to not be so close to him than a way to make room. Occupied with other things as she had very much been, she had forgotten all about the hug he had attacked her with on the train, but the sudden close quarters brought it back to the front of her thoughts. As long as he stayed where he was, she would be able to feign a normal conversation. "That's... I'd hoped you'd be better," Veronica said, surprising herself with the realisation that she truly meant it. "I've been... it's everything I expected it to be. Wonderful, and exciting, and more even." She smiled softly, leaning forward to rest her head on her knees with her face tipped sideways. She wasn't looking at Tomas, exactly, but she felt like she needed to include him in the quiet joy she was reliving. It was a shame he hadn't been having the same experience. Perhaps he hadn't been looking for the wonderful things, although they were so easy to see.

Hearing that Tomas was homesick, however, made her previous thoughts seem... not nice, somehow. "I'm sorry, that must be awful," she replied, trying to think of any way she could help him to feel better - even if there wasn't much that she thought she could do. She wasn't really feeling the same effects of being away from her family. Every day had been filled with so many new interesting things to learn and think about that the months had actually passed faster than she'd realised, and it was now closer to the end of the semester than the beginning. She wondered if telling Tomas this would be any comfort, but surely it was something he was already well aware of - and while she was trying to make up her mind the conversation changed. Veronica let her previous thoughts drift away to focus on an answer she could offer that wasn't the truth or lies, and after a moment of contemplation, she had something that might pass. "I've never had to share a room before; the dorm is... different." Perhaps not as many weeks had passed as she had thought, if she still thought it so.

 

[Tomas Wode]

He smiled at the Ravenclaw's remark but didn't say anything about it, as he clearly wasn't experiencing what she was experiencing. It hadn't been neither wonderful nor exciting except for the first few weeks when it was just learning the basics of things and then remembering them. Now classes were just as boring as everything in the castle, except for maybe the flying lessons, which were a lot of fun because he could have never imagined that actually being able to fly on a broomstick, rather than putting it between your legs and running around pretending you were flying on one, was possible. ''Don't be,'' Tomas replied back, thinking that it was silly of her to apologise for the way he was feeling lately. ''I guess that it just happens to some people, especially to people who are new to all of this.'' he said whilst looking around the Owlery, thinking about how good everything had been before going to Hogwarts for the first time ever since he left the common room. He was sure that it was just a phase, that he just needed some time to get used to everything, and that it would all be fine after a while. While listening as to why Veronica was sleeping here and not in the Ravenclaw Tower Tomas straightened up and pressed his back against the wall once more. ''That sucks, I hope you'll get over it.'' he told her, truly hoping that she would get over it otherwise it'd be an awful seven years.

 

[Veronica Willows]

Veronica sat quietly as Tomas talked, and although he wasn't saying very much she realised she was beginning to slip back into feeling more like her daytime self. For a moment she said nothing, unsure of how to phrase her wish to help in a way that might truly be helpful, and not just a way to make herself feel better at hearing his troubles. Unable to think of anything, however, she decided to instead focus on what she did best - learning. "What's it like, being new to magic? I mean, you're new to the castle... I am too, and there's no wizarding school to attend before this one, so the classes are new to me too, but..." It seemed like such a strange concept to Veronica, the idea that one minute you thought you were a muggle, and the next you discovered you weren't. Before meeting Tomas, in her experience you were either one or the other, and there was no switching between the two. The change was interesting. "When did you know? Not when they told you, I mean but... when you knew it for yourself?"

The talking was helping, surprisingly. Normally she was by herself after having woken up from a nightmare, as she had stopped troubling her parents about them long ago. Instead she had the paper, and usually she would just scratch out ideas, problems, talking to herself for ten paragraphs or so before switching to making calculations, sketching new and old projects, writing down everything she knew about one planet, and then the next. She only ever knew it was time to stop when her hand cramped up, or when she could hear the rest of the house - and now at Hogwarts, her dormmates - stirring around her. Veronica looked down at the paper, tucked away on the other side from Tomas; strange in its blankness. But he was talking to her again, and she quickly turned her head back towards him. "Oh... I think... It will get easier," she said, nodding slightly. "When I get used to it, it will be... it'll be alright." She was fairly certain the nightmare would never stop, but once she got used to sleeping in the dorm it would be easier to manage. That was all she could ask for.

 

[Tomas Wode]

Tomas knew that eventually she would ask him this question again, as she had tried to do it before back when they were on the train. He had not answered it then because of Phoebe and her way of thinking but now that the other Ravenclaw was not here with them, Tomas decided to trust Veronica with the way he was feeling about being new to all of it. ''It's like I'm being thrown in at the deep end.'' the boy began after a moment of silence, because he had to gather the words to express how he thought it felt like to him. ''I'm expected to suddenly know everything in just a few months before going to school while also trying to make sure that my parents will stop freaking out about the fact that their son is going to attend a school full of people who can do something they thought was only possible in fairy tales. How am I supposed to understand all of it when I don't know where to begin understanding it.'' Because the Gryffindor had been talking rapidly he needed a moment to catch his breath. It felt good to finally let go of his frustration rather than keeping it boiling inside. ''It was when I was reading my letter over and over again, when I realised that maybe all the times I let strange things happen, it had been magic doing those things rather than pure coincidence.'' Tomas replied.

He smiled when she said that it would be alright eventually because he knew that it would be. ''If not, just meet me here and we can talk about it if you want to.'' he told her, offering Veronica his help as it was probably the only thing he could since, in some way, she had done the same thing to him. Tomas leaned his head back against the wall now that he was done talking, and listened to the soft hooting of the owls that come swooping in from hunting for food most likely. He hadn't seen much of the castle yet but for now the Owlery at night was probably one of the best places to be at if you wanted a somewhat quiet moment to think about stuff. As he waited for his friend to speak up again, Tomas closed his eyes and smiled, feeling confident that everything would be alright for him too, eventually, for the first time in days.

 

[Veronica Willows]

Veronica had never quite realised how big of a jump it must be for muggle-borns to adjust to life in the wizarding world, but hearing Tomas explain how difficult it had been for him was really bringing the situation to light for her. She thought for a moment, before turning her head to make proper eye contact with the boy for the first time since he had found her up here. "I didn't know it would be so much trouble... but of course it would be." Veronica almost felt ashamed of how much she took magic for granted, even with her own father being a Muggle. "If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know - really, I wouldn't mind. Whether it's classes, or letting you know about something, or... anything," she finished breathlessly. She didn't quite know if Tomas would take her up on her offer, but she hoped he would. It was awful that he'd been feeling this way. She nodded at his answer to her question, once again fascinated at hearing about his different experience. Veronica's own letter had barely registered and soon become buried in the mass of papers on the dining room table - she had always known she would be attending Hogwarts, ever since before she could remember.

"How many times did you do it, do you think - the accidental magic?" she asked. This was also interesting, as she had never done much herself. As focused on Tomas as she was, Veronica was slightly taken aback by his offer of help in regards to her own problem. "Oh," she said, not quite sure how to respond. She definitely didn't want to say no and risk offending him... but she didn't exactly want to talk about why she was having trouble sleeping either - she didn't want others to worry for her sake. It would lessen, eventually, she just had to bear it until then. "Thank you," Veronica said, hoping she hadn't paused too long in her answer. "But... are you sure? It's just, I don't really know if it's a bad night until it happens..." Veronica thought for a moment, her brow furrowed as she tried to see a way around this obstacle. "Maybe I'll just... always come here, when it does." The thought of promising to break rules on a regular basis slightly terrified her, but she decided it would be worse to turn down Tomas' offer than to... break rules, and be caught by a professor, and lose house points - oh, she couldn't decide which made her more uncomfortable! "Aren't you afraid of getting in trouble though?" she asked her companion desperately.

 

[Asaiah Murphy]

nothing to see here

 

[Tomas Wode]

He did not expect that Veronica would know how he was feeling lately, especially since she came from a family that already knew about magic and everything that came with it, but he was fine with that - he probably wouldn't know what it was like either if it had been the other way around. ''I keep explaining things to my parents because they don't understand half of it.'' the boy said with a chuckle, finding it funny that it was him who needed to explain something to them for once instead of them to him. Tomas smiled when Veronica offered him her help, and had to fight off the urge to hug the girl because he knew she hadn't liked it last time he hugged her. ''I will.. thank you.'' he said softly.

He hadn't count the times strange things had happened around him, specially since his parents used to tell him that it wasn't his fault and that it was just a coincidence. But now that he knew that there was magic involved, Tomas thought back on all the moments he let something explode, or would accidentally break something. ''A couple of times,'' he said after a few seconds. ''I think it mostly happened when I was running away from the bullies at school, you know, when I needed them to slow down 'cause they were going to catch me.'' The Gryffindor was pretty sure now that it had been magic doing those things. He smiled when asked if he was sure about being there for her, and if he wasn't afraid of getting in trouble for sneaking out at night. ''Kingsley told us to 'live up to the standards of Gryffindor' at the beginning of this semester, and from what I've heard, breaking the rules is one of those standards, so I'm good.'' He told Veronica with a grin. ''Basically I'll sneak out of the common room every night then to see if you're here, which I am OK with so you don't have to feel bad if I get caught.'' Tomas said, hoping that she would accept his offer to be there for her.

 

[Veronica Willows]

Veronica had been sitting rather stiffly ever since she had arrived in the owlery, but now she was beginning to relax into her conversation with Tomas - the current topic was particularly good for helping her forget why she was here. "What's it like, telling your parents about things here in the wizarding world?" she asked, feeling the familiar burst of interest at exploring something new. "Which bits do they get excited about? Or are they scared? I hope they're not, magic really is such an amazing thing... do they realise how wonderful it is that you can use it?" Veronica was about to barrel on, when she stopped suddenly, flushing. "Sorry if I'm asking too many questions, I just... I'd like to know more about... how different everything is for you now." She was pleased Tomas had accepted her offer of help though, as she was sure she would be able to somehow. It made her feel happy to know that some problems, at least, could be solved. Although, she was unsure what to say about the bullies that he had willingly brought up again. On the train Veronica had gotten the impression that he didn't really want to talk about the subject, so the way he casually brought it up now perplexed her. "Were they... very awful to you?" she asked tentatively, hoping the question wouldn't upset him.

As for the plan of meeting up again - Veronica had hoped that Tomas would agree with her about the consequences of doing so after dark, and thus she wouldn't have to worry about either of them doing something they shouldn't be. Instead, her eyes widened in response to Tomas' remark about his Head of House. "Oh, I'm sure she didn't really mean for you to break rules - she can't have!" She didn't really know much about the professor, having only seen her from a distance up at the staff table during meals, but she was sure the woman wouldn't have truly encouraged her students to flout the rules that probably had quite good reason to be put in place. The fact that Tomas was choosing to misinterpret Professor Kingsley that way was slightly worrying, but more worrying was the way he didn't seem to see anything wrong with the idea of sneaking out to try and see her. Veronica was a little in shock, and her mouth gaped open as she tried to process it. "Oh no, you can't do that," she said with a rather loud cry. She had to make him change his mind and agree not to come looking for her, as it seemed he would turn up regardless of whether she was here or not. "Really, I'm nothing to be troubled over, I promise." She sounded quite panicky, but that was because if Tomas actually tried to meet her here from now on, Veronica would feel obliged to turn up also - deliberately choosing to break rules.

 

[Tomas Wode]

''It is difficult.'' Tomas answered. ''Because I'm still learning, too, sometimes I don't know how to answer the questions they've got for me.'' He chuckled when she told him that his parents shouldn't be scared of magic because it was 'such an amazing thing' well Tomas had yet to witness how amazing magic was, since the only thing magic had done for him so far was make him miss everybody at home badly. ''It's mostly mom that gets really excited about the magic stuff, my dad however, I think that he's afraid that something might happen to me while I am attending Hogwarts. Although I think that mom somehow managed to convince him, because, you know, I am here and not there.'' Back then Tomas was happy that his parents would let him go to school, but now that he had followed classes for a couple of weeks, the Gryffindor regretted ever coming to the school. He shrugged and said. ''It's fine... I get that you would want to know more about my situation, just don't expect me to immediately give you an answer... okay?'' Tomas figured that further questions about his bullies back at home would come, and wished he hadn't brought them up in their conversation. He did not know the reason why they had chosen to pick on him, specially since he had done nothing wrong to them - had never even spoken to them before they started bullying him. He just didn't understand why they had to bully him. ''They were.'' Tomas said sortly. ''But I was faster than them.. sometimes.. other times they would lock me up, or break my stuff.'' He did not know how much Veronica wanted to go into it but he hoped that she would drop this topic soon.

He wouldn't mind sneaking out of the common room at night to visit the Owlery and help his friend out at all. In fact, he thought that by helping his friend he would hopefully stop thinking about the people he missed back home. Besides that, the eleven year old had never set foot out of the room after midnight before so was kind of curious to see what would happen if he did. ''Well, then she should have made that clear.'' he commented with a small chuckle. He didn't really care about getting caught whilst making his way up to the North Tower since he did not care about getting detention or losing house points; he was sure he could handle a few days of dentention, specially since he didn't have anywhere to go after classes anyway. As for house points.. well, Gryffindor was already behind on everyone even though the year started only a few weeks ago. He didn't really understand why Veronica wouldn't want to go through with the plan. They were first years so probably would not get punished very hard for breaking the school rules. If the two of them would get caught he'd just tell whoever got them that they got lost while trying to find the common rooms. ''Yes I can.'' he replied back. Of course Tomas could - if she was going to help him out, then he was going to help her out too, and nothing was going to stop him from doing so. He shook his head and turned away from Veronica. ''I will not hear any of it.'' he said with a smirk on his face, choosing to ignore the girl next to him until she would agree with this plan.

 

[Veronica Willows]

Veronica couldn't help giggling at the idea of trying to explain all the things she and Tomas were learning at Hogwarts to over-enthusiastic parents. She expected hers would be the opposite come the holidays, it would be her father peppering her for answers to all the questions she hadn't been able to go into detail about in the letters she sent home. It just wasn't fair to put such a weighty burden on an owl, they'd decided, after the first letter she'd sent home about her life at the castle had almost capsized the poor bird. Her mood immediately turned more sober when Tomas admonished her prying into his life, however. "I'm sorry," Veronica said quietly. She could feel herself turning red. How incredibly nosy she had been, she was so ashamed of herself. She only nodded as he spoke a little about the bullies, but wished she had never asked. It upset her to hear that people could be so mean, and she felt even worse for prompting Tomas to remember the unkind things he had experienced.

She couldn't believe how he adamant he was being about meeting her here when she couldn't sleep. It seemed such a strange thing to risk doing for someone he had really only talked to a couple of times. But the really strange thing, Veronica knew, was that she was seriously considering doing exactly the same. The more she tried to convince Tomas otherwise the more the entire effort seemed futile, and if he was prepared to do so much in the name of helping her out with something that... really couldn't be helped at all... she felt she owed to him to show up also. Veronica stared at him unblinking for a moment, her heart caught in her throat at the promise she was about to make. "I'll... I'll come. When I can't sleep... I'll come. I promise." She took a shaky breath, and then tried to fortify herself for her next statement. "But neither of us are allowed to wait more than -" she quickly calculated and weighed times in her head "- twenty minutes for the other to show up, and then we'd have to go back to bed. You have to promise me that at least, please." Veronica didn't want to give him a chance to change her mind anymore than he already had, so she quickly rose from her position against the wall. "I should go now, see if I can sleep properly this time. But thank you for... um, all of this." She gestured to where they had been sitting, then gave Tomas a small wave before leaving the Owlery to make what felt like a perilous journey back to Ravenclaw House. She never noticed the parchment she had left behind, which had remained completely blank for longer than any parchment she'd ever touched for a long time.