Closed Out of Sight

[Lars van Houten]

Lars tried to avoid this part of the castle, which was difficult because the fourth floor held both the library and the student lounge. But it also had the Hufflepuff common room, which was his reason for avoiding the floor as much as he could. He'd gone to see Elliot and Blake in the hospital wing after the match, but it had been horribly awkward. He kind of wished he hadn't, but the fall had looked pretty ugly even from the stands. Lars was returning a book to the library, holding it under his arm as he moved through the corridor. He'd shot up even more during the break, and could fairly easily look over most other student's heads. Even so, he didn't spot Lily's blond hair until it was too late to avoid her by ducking into another room. He lowered his head, glancing at her just as she looked at him and caught his eye. Unsure of what to do, Lars just gave her a jerky nod in greeting and quickened his step to move past her more quickly.

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily was tired, and sad. She hated that Elliot was always so busy, and she hated he got hurt. She was just feeling really down, and she wished- for the hundredth time that day- that she could talk to Lars. She missed him, she missed his friendship. As if thinking of him had summoned him, Lily startled when she met his eyes.

"L-lars?" She breathed, her heart breaking a bit more as he walked away from her- again. Anger rose up in her, and hurt, and she just couldn't help herself as tears welled up in her eyes. "Elliot might have lied to you but I never did! How can you just- just leave me alone? How can I not even matter to you?" She yelled at him, turning away and swiping at her eyes to try and stop the tears.

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars jumped as he heard Lily's voice, he hadn't expected her to yell at him. He froze in place, unable to decide what to do for a moment. Slowly, he turned to her with a pained expression on his face. "I said I needed time." He said evasively, taking a step back. "Yes, Elliot lied... and... and you're apparently okay with that." He said hesitantly, shaking his head. "Just... forget about me, okay? It's fine." He added a little more defensively. "You can just be friends with him." He mumbled, looking at his feet.

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily sniffled. "I've been giving you time," she kicked a wall. "I didn't know!" She snapped, "One minute everything was fine and then suddenly everything was just- just-" She sighed, rubbing her cheeks. "I don't want to choose! He's my friend, but so are you! I thought... I thought I mattered to you, I thought you cared, but- was our entire friendship just a lie?" She kept her hands over her eyes. "I miss you..." She managed softly, pressing her palms harder against her eyes in an attempt to keep herself from crying.

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars knew Lily had given him time, and he knew he had been avoiding her. But if he was honest, he hadn't expected her to still care. But there was some irritation too. "Yes, well. I also didn't know." He snapped back. "But hearing that Elliot lied to me and hurt me didn't change anything for you and him. You're still his best friend, you were just fine with it." He told her, surprised as he realized that hurt him. He was also surprised by the emotions Lily was showing, and he faltered, feeling bad for ignoring her now. He hadn't... expected her to care so much. He thought that she was fine with Elliot now, that they wouldn't need him anymore. "It wasn't a lie." He mumbled. "I just... helped you pick a side you would have picked anyway."

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily shook her head. "He messed up, and no one is angrier with him than he is! Yes, what he did was not okay, and I scolded him, but he is still my friend and so are you!" She put her hands on her hips, her anger and frustration finally getting to her, the tears clear on her face but her anger evident. "Why does it have to be an either or situation? And who gave you the right to make my decisions for me? You're my friend, and so is he, there is nothing that says I can't make time for both of you separately," She sighed, shoulders slumping and hanging her head. "You don't get it, Lars, when you stopped talking to me, so did he, he cut himself off from everyone. I only just managed to get him to actually talk to me over break," She sighed, shaking her head and taking a step back. "He already hates himself, and it's hard, and it's hard knowing that there is literally nothing I can do for either of you, but all I've ever wanted is to be your friend, even if it will never be the three of us the way it used to..." She wrapped her arms around her torso, her heart aching.

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars winced as Lily said Elliot was angry at himself, that wasn't what Lars wanted to hear. He should be angry with himself, he had been awful. His voice broke as he responded to Lily's question. "Because one of us did something wrong, and sometimes you have to pick a side!" He said back, tears forming in his eyes. "How could I be your friend if you aren't angry about how much he hurt me?" He winced as the words left him, but there was more pain inside him, and it came pouring out. "I am not responsible for him not talking to you!" He added desperately. "That's on him, but no one ever seems to blame Elliot for anything..." His voice trailed off as one tear started to move down his cheek, Lars wiped it away. He sniffed, unable to stop more from coming. "I wanted to be your friend too, I miss you too. B-but..." He wiped away another stubborn tear. "I wanted someone to pick my side." He said quietly, looking at his feet. "I wanted someone else to see it was unfair, that he treated me badly. It's not something I can just... move past. He was leading me on for months, its humiliating I felt so stupid for thinking he could actually like me." Lars admitted, blinking fast. "But you and him... you were friends already, of course you would stay his friend. I... I get it, I do. But I thought you would be better off not stuck in the middle of our mess. You have Elliot, he has you and I... I'm fine." He finished finally.

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily hated seeing Lars upset. She stepped closer, reaching for him for just a moment before stopping herself. "Of course I was upset with him," She spoke softly. "We already fought about it. He messed up, he made a mistake, and I hate how much he's hurt you," She took a deep breath, wiping at her own tears. "I can't pick a side, because I love you both." She shook her head. "I would rather be stuck in the middle then left on the outside, Lars." She looked up at him, he had grown so tall. "Things are rough, I know, I know none of this is fair to you." She wanted to just step forward and hug him, but she couldn't. "I hate seeing you hurt, but I- I want to stay with you, I've been waiting, hoping you would come back," Her voice broke, and she set his fingers lightly on his wrist. "I really miss you," She pulled her hands back, hugging herself. "You... said you need time, I can respect that. I... I'm sorry," She took a deep breath, stepping back. "Just... please, please, please don't forget that I'm always going to be here for you, okay? You're one of my best friends, Lars, I love you." She sighed, turning and taking a step to leave.

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars hated that he felt happy hearing Lily and Elliot had fought about it, that Lily had at least stood up for him. He shouldn't be wishing problems for them, but a part of him did. "I'm the one left on the outside." He told Lily quietly. He winced as Lily said she had been hoping he would come back. He couldn't look at her anymore, and couldn't stop tears from coming either. Talking to her like this really cemented how much he had missed her. He felt sad when she pulled her hand away, and reached for her before hesitating. But as Lily moved to leave, Lars spoke without thinking. "Don't go." He said quietly, his hand extending to reach for her. "Don't go, I'm sorry..." He said, his voice thick with tears.

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily froze as Lars spoke again, and couldn't help but let out a soft sob. She spun, darting back and knocking into him, hugging him tightly. She buried her face in his chest and bit her lip, trying to keep herself from crying. "I'm really proud of you," she managed softly, "With the quidditch team and the prefect and I'm really sorry you have to patrol with Elliot that must be really hard and I hate how much you've been hurting and Ava keeps asking about you I can make you some muffins or cake or something if you want, we should celebrate everything," she chattered, her voice shaking.

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars gasped in surprise as Lily knocked into him. He awkwardly wrapped his arms around her, then with a bit more certainty hugged her close. He closed his eyes as she told him she was proud of him and said a lot of nice things he had... kind of needed to hear. He swallowed, trying to stop himself from bursting into sobs. "Uh, thanks." He mumbled, gently patting her hair. "Sorry, Lily. I'm really sorry." He muttered. "I never meant to hurt you, I just... thought you were fine with Elliot." He hesitated. "You should've been a prefect instead of me, I have no idea what i'm doing." He admitted. "How... is Ava?" He added, as Lily brought her up.

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily couldn't help but giggle breathlessly, sniffling and hugging him tighter. "Well, maybe you should stop thinking so little of yourself and believe me when I tell you I love you," she chided softly, leaning back and wiping at his tears with her sleeve. "Ava is sad, she misses her friends," She told him honestly. "Don't worry so much, Lars, Ava never knew what she was doing either." She sighed softly, moving to take her hand in his. "I was really kind of sad I didn't get it," She admitted quietly. "You're so amazing, being prefect and captain and your art," she shook her head, blushing and looking away. "All I have are some silly muffins," She murmured, feeling small and insignificant.

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars gently stroked Lily's hair, listening to her and sighing softly. "I love you too, Lily." He murmured, aware that they were perhaps making a bit of a scene. But he didn't mind it right now. He smiled weakly as she wiped away his tears. "Oh, I'm sorry about Ava. I'll write her." He said softly. He sighed a little as she said she was sad she didn't get a badge, and he squeezed her hand. "I... I'm not amazing." He said softly. "Lily, you're great. Those muffins take skill, and you make so many of them." He told her gently. "And they're good, too." He assured her. "Don't tell me not to worry when you're worrying too." He joked gently.

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily smiled softly as he reassured her, sniffling and wiping at her own cheeks. She took a few steps back, trying to pull him along with her. "Why don't we go to the kitchens?" She asked softly, "I can make you something sweet to celebrate all your success and we can catch up on things," She offered, giving him a shy smile. She had really missed his friendship, and she was glad that he seemed willing to patch things up again.

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars nodded at Lily's suggestion, his original purpose for being here already forgotten."I could help" he offered, though he obviously knew Lily wouldn't need any help with baking. He smiled a little nervously at the Hufflepuff, then followed her to the kitchens.