Once More

Professor Cyndi Kingsley

Gryffindor HoH | Mother of 3
 
Messages
35,918
OOC First Name
Cyndi
Blood Status
Mixed Blood
Wand
Knotted 15 Inch Flexible Oak Wand with Meteorite Dust Core
Age
4/2005
Sitting in the den with a glass of wine in hand, Cyndi watched the clock slide to 12:01. It was now one year and three days since Kiera had died, and Cyndi's life had never quite been the same. She sat, only a small lamp on in the room, a book in her lap though she had been mostly staring into space for the last few minutes, her thoughts spinning. Dinner had gone well, she supposed. Lyra had shown up even though Link hadn't. Her sons hadn't argued at the table, and her parents had gone off to bed in the guest bedroom none the wiser that Noah's move to a new school hadn't been a mutual decision of his parents. It was odd to no one when Eleanor begged for her father to tuck her in. But still her mother had kept asking her if she was ok and looking between her and Cameron, but she'd brushed her mother's attention off as urgently as her sons did to her.

Finishing off her second (or was it third?) glass of wine, Cyndi moved to place the empty glass on the small table beside her, but missed it slightly, the glass falling towards the carpet. Cyndi moved quickly, trying to catch it but missing as it hit the carpet, but, thankfully, didn't shatter. "Dammit!" she exclaimed sharply, the house large enough that she didn't fear waking up anyone sleeping upstairs. She picked up the glass, standing far too quickly and experiencing a rush of dizziness that was equal parts from the alcohol as it was from her grief and lack of sleep over the past few nights. Gripping the arm of the chair, Cyndi sat heavily on the arm to regain her bearings.
 
Cameron smoothed Eleanor's hair and kissed the top of her head as he moved to leave the room. His children were growing up, and there was nothing he could do but sit back and watch. He had missed so much of their childhood with his duty and responsibility to their country. Sometimes, he wondered if he had sacrificed too much. Things hadn't been good between Cameron and Cyndi since Kiera died, and their marriage was currently in shambles. Albeit, that was his own fault. Cam still thought it was what was best for his son, but he missed Cyndi desperately. He still loved his wife, but he didn't know how to fix the problems he created.

The house was still as the Minister retreated downstairs. He expected Cyndi to be in bed already, asleep and avoiding him, when he heard a sudden noise in the study. Making his way to the room quickly, Cameron entered to find Cyndi leaning over a chair, not looking well. A wave of panic flashed through him. He just couldn't lose her. "Sweetheart, are you okay?" he said, the concern for her clear on his face and in his voice. He reached to touch her, but let his hands fall short. He didn't think she'd appreciate his touch right now.
 
The concern in Cameron's voice reminded Cyndi of why she'd fallen in love with him. He'd always been her protector, even fighting for her one of the first times they'd met as adults when she'd run into a tool of a man. It was nice to know he was still there. "Just a dizzy spell" she stated, waving off his concern though she made no moves to stand. She eventually did open her eyes and was happy to discover the den had stopped looking off kilter. So she looked to Cameron next, the look of concern clear on his face though she wasn't sure why he was so worried looking. It wasn't as if he'd never seen her drunk before. And it wasn't as if she was this drunk and he had no clue why. "Now whether I'm ok ok is a totally different story" she added, her tone droll and her speech slightly slurred before she let out a small, slightly bitter laugh.

"Cameron" Cyndi began as she stood up and took a step, jostling the table and immediately thinking to vanish it so it couldn't cause any more trouble today. The trouble was she couldn't remember where she put her wand. She stood in front of him and stared up at the Minister of Magic for a long moment while she struggled to compose a coherent thought. Goblin made wine was some strong stuff. "Cameron" she began again, " don't say anything about anything to my parents alright. You're good at keeping secrets so this shouldn't be hard for you." She didn't want them to know about all of the issues the couple had been having. They'd worry, and she'd always liked that they liked Cameron. "Ok... good talk. Good night" she added as she tried to sidestep him to walk her glass to the kitchen.
 
Cameron's concern lessened somewhat when he realized Cyndi Kingsley was just drunk and it was nothing more serious. Normally, he might have wondered what drove her to drink this much alone, but he didn't have to ask. The anniversary of Kiera's death, Noah going to Durmstrang, their own marriage problems...who knew what it was about tonight. The bitterness in her tone towards him stung. Cameron had made mistakes, and he knew that. He'd never pretend otherwise, but all of his actions were driven by love. Why couldn't his wife see that? "Cyndi..." he said, letting his voice trail off. He didn't know how to fix this. They stood there, looking at each other for a long moment.

When Cyndi spoke to him again, he shook his head at her insult. Part of him knew that it wouldn't do any good to talk to her when she was like this, but the other part of him refused to give up on his wife. He loved her. Cameron caught Cyndi by her shoulders as she tried to brush past him, not roughly, just enough to make her pause. "No. Not good talk. If you want to talk, let's talk. I won't say anything to your parents, but we aren't done here." he said, adamantly.
 
As Cameron's hands came to a rest on her shoulders, preventing her from leaving, she scoffed at his words for a moment, knowing she could walk away. If she kept walking, Cameron would drop it. Maybe. She just stared at him, waiting to see if he'd say more. "Fine. Let's talk " she agreed in a clipped voice. The Gryffindor stared at her husband for a moment. No doubt he was dealing with his own grief and with his job, which had kept him busy right up until Christmas with the Matthias trial. The woman knew her husband had a tough job, but it was one he'd promised he could balance with his home life.

"I don't..." she sighed, her gaze still on him as she teared up. "I thought by being at work and having some distance from you and from this, I'd get over it...but I'm not." She shook her head, a shaky hand going to her lips as she admitted this. They'd always been able to get over their arguments, but this felt different. "All year, you've been dissuading me when I wanted to fight for Jemma to come live with us after Keira died and then you went and used your connections to send Noah away to Durmstrang after I said no. How could you do that to me? " She could feel her frustration growing again, the incredulity and the anger and hurt she'd felt when Cameron had told her what he'd done were unhealed wounds and no doubt helped along by the wine she'd consumed. She could feel herself getting worked up all over again. "I'm not one of your advisors. I'm supposed to be your wife! We're supposed to be a team" Cyndi stated, her voice rising as she spoke.
 
Cameron knew that this past year had been difficult for Cyndi with Kiera's death and Noah moving schools. Hell, it had been difficult for Cameron as he worked tirelessly, trying to make the transition smooth for the next Minister while balancing his grief over losing his sister and his rocky marriage. Cameron wanted to wrap his arms around Cyndi and hold her tight as she teared up, but he remained motionless with his arms by his side. All of the effort he put into keeping the country at peace and he couldn't even give his wife peace. Cameron winced slightly as she told him she wasn't one of his advisors. It stung. Nothing Cyndi accused him of was untrue, which was part of the problem. He had no good defense to her words.

"I'm sorry. I want to say I wouldn't do it again, but I would." Cameron said, shaking his head. "I still think it was the right thing for Noah. If you had only seen the look in his face when he came to me. His grades are up, and he seems much happier at Durmstrang. It's a good school. And, Kiera would have wanted Jemma to stay with Carter. She's never known any other father. She already lost her mother; she shouldn't lose her father too." the Minister said, running a hand through his brown hair. There were now streaks of gray mixed in with the brown, showing his age and the stress of his job. It was an old argument. Nothing Cyndi hadn't already heard him say, but he didn't have an excuse for what he did. She had every right to be upset with him. "Cyndi, I am sorry for going behind your back and hiding it from you. I'm so sorry. I love you. I miss you, and I want to come home. I want to be here with you and our children." he said, his voice soft.
 
Cyndi let out a small scoff and shook her head lightly as Cameron admitted he would do this again. It was honest, but far from what the woman wanted to hear. She turned her head away from her husband, spotting her wand on the floor tucked just under the chair. It must have rolled off her lap at some point. She had heard all of this from Cameron at various points, his attempts to convince her that what she wanted was wrong. It was on the tip of her tongue to reiterate her points - that their sons needed to be together, that it was just a childhood romance and Noah would get over it and they couldn't encourage him to run from difficulties, that Jemma was the last piece of Kiera and James and her memories of her childhood friends - but she knew he knew them just as well as she knew what he'd just said. This was the problem. They couldn't seem to get past this, and where her opinions deviated from Cameron's, he had gone with his own, making her feel even more alone with her feelings. Cyndi swallowed hard, not wanting to cry again as she had each time they'd had these debates.

Instead, she turned her back on her husband, reaching for her wand as Cameron's words washed over her. When he finished the room was silent, her wine glass silently heading for the kitchen. She was tired of all of this, tired of fighting with Cameron. She loved him, of course. She always had and suspected she always would. This wasn't about that. Hugging herself around her middle, Cyndi felt a tear fall. She wiped at it quickly and then spoke, her back still to him. "So stay. The children need you here right now." The woman couldn't argue with that especially not this week. Not during the holidays and during their first Christmas without their aunt. They needed to believe that everything was ok even if it wasn't. She needed him too, would sleep better knowing he was safe and well. "But whether you're here, not here, it doesn't change anything between us" she added sadly, wiping at her eyes again, the tears coming hotter and faster.
 

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