Oh What a Pretty Little Mess I've Made

[Katalina Harker]

Kat had sent an owl to Sumner. This was not going to be a pleasant conversation and she knew that this was the end. Trekking out across the school grounds she perched on the ground a few feet from ledge. Pulling her knees up to her chest she looked at her left hand and removed the ring that he had gotten her for her birthday along with the charm bracelet, clutching them both tightly in her hand. She no longer deserved them...she didn't deserve anything. Kat rested her forehead on her knees and began to weep to the point of sobbing...it felt like she was suffocating and the one thing that had always given her air was no longer there to breathe her back to life.

 

[Sumner Drage]

Sumner crumpled the note within his hand. He'd kick the ruddy bird but even he was not so cruel, no matter how he was hurting. Sick, bitter twisted thoughts spun through his head. All of them focused on making this pain go away, to transfer it to the person who'd caused it. Kat. He made himself run a brush through his hair, brush his teeth, button his shirt as he stared with deadened eyes into the mirror above his dresser. He'd not bothered to shave, what was the point? He left the tower and soon he was approaching the cliffs. She wanted to talk. Fine, he could talk. She wouldn't like what he had to say, if he said anything at all.

It was as though time were repeating itself. He heard her even as he saw her, sobbing, crying. His-no, not his Kat, not anymore. She'd never be his again. Not after yesterday. He had no thoughts of comfort in his head, no words to soothe her as he'd tried to do for her best friend. Instead he stopped a few feet from her, hands shoved in his pockets and stared out over the horizon.

"Make it quick."

 

[Katalina Harker]

Kat stiffened when she heard his voice. She stood up and wiped her face which didn't do much and she was still trying to catch her breath. "I won't waste much of your time I promise," she started, not even able to look him in the face. "Sumner, I...I'm sorry. I never ever meant to hurt you. I don't know what I was thinking." Kat walked closer to him, praying that he wouldn't back away from her. "I'm not expecting you to forgive me. Hell I wouldn't even forgive me, but one thing I never ever want you to doubt...Sumner I love you. I always will, but...well I suppose this goes without saying, but we can't be together," Kat stated obviously knowing that he hated her with every fiber of his being and with damned good reason too. The tears that hadn't completely subsided were now pouring heavily now and she could barely talk through them. "I just...please don't hate me, at least not forever. I know that you're angry and hurt right now and it pains me to know that I caused this for you. I hate myself enough for the both of us, but I'm begging you just please tell me that you don't hate me because I don't know if I can live knowing that you hate me," she pleaded foolishly, waiting for the reaction that she knew would be the end of her.

 

[Sumner Drage]

Sumner did not turn her way or react at all during Kat's tearful speech. His grey eyes continued to scan the distance, his face did not change expression. Finally he spoke. "I don't hate you."

 

[Katalina Harker]

Kat's legs felt a little shaky under her and of all times she prayed that they wouldn't give out from under her now. She nodded and said, "I guess I'll take that." Grabbing his hand she placed the ring and bracelet in his palm and then wrapped his fingers around them both, just holding his hand in hers for a moment. With that she tipped toed up and kissed his cheek lightly whispering in his ear, "I meant what I said. I love you. I have from the day I met you and I always will." Still crying Kat turned and walked away, not knowing what her future held without Sumner in it, but she knew for sure that the immediate future was a dark lonely one to be faced alone.

 

[Sumner Drage]

Sumner held the items in his hands. He heard her footsteps recede, touched a hand to the wet tear mark she'd left on his cheek. The ring glinted in his fingertips. It was over. He hung his head but his eyes remained bone dry. He turned and started to walk back to the castle. Suddenly, he stopped. His fists clenched and with a loud, feral yell that echoed through the cliffs, he slung his arm hard. Sunlight caught the shiny bracelet and ring as they sailed in a high arc down into the abyss.

His shoulders rose and lowered as he panted. Wind whipped against his hot face and cooled the tears that tracked down them. They were gone, just like Kat's empty promises. And there they would stay.

I don't hate you. I don't feel anything for you. I don't...feel.