Open No One To Write To

[Enoch Goldewyn]

Enoch had been a little thrown by the reading in Divination. He just hadn't expected the answer to his question to be that, no one could know either. No one would figure it out, but he'd left the room in a hurry and his mind in it's frustration and annoyance had driven him to the library. Before, it had happened he'd have written to his parents, to angrily tell them about what happened and to ask them to do something about it, but Enoch couldn't. THey were dead. All he had were his brothers all of whom were so much older than him and none of whom cared about him in the slightest. Not enough to do anything. So he was just stood in the owlery looking at the owls and wondering who he had to write to and knowing there was no one.

 

[Teddy Pirrip]

Teddy had noticed Enoch bolt out of Divination earlier, rattled by whatever the cards had told him. But honestly, Enoch was always bolting, so Teddy hadn’t given it much thought. He didn’t like the boy enough to care anyway. So, when he found Enoch lurking in the owlery a little later, it was more of an annoying coincidence than anything.

Teddy was there to send a letter to his mum, glancing at Enoch as he walked in, "Hey Enoch,” Teddy called out, not expecting Enoch to say hi back. “You’re not making the owls uncomfortable with that tragic stare of yours are you?” He said it as a joke, but judging by Enoch’s face, he probably was. Teddy scanned the perches, looking for his favourite owl, and smirked when he spotted it high in the rafters, and asleep of course. He tutted to himself, shaking his head. Typical.

 

[Enoch Goldewyn]

Enoch had been about to leave, there was nothing for him here, and he was just making himself feel a little worse. The boy was stopped though as another boy walked into the room, he immediately noticed the fact the boy was likely there to send a letter. He didn't like Teddy, though he also didn't dislike him. He just didn't entirely get him or what he wanted. WHy he was always joking about things, and then was likely one of the more driven people in their classes. "F@ck you," he replied with a roll of his eyes. "I was done, just leaving, I'll take my tragic stare with me," He was so tired of these people and this place. Dropping out would be easy enough. It wasn't like he had parents anymore who'd be disappointed in him if he did. He wasn't even sure his brothers would notice if he did.

 

[Teddy Pirrip]

Teddy believed there was a time and place for everything whether it be studying or messing around. That included poking fun at Enoch when he was being extra mopey and weird. But Enoch swearing at him struck a nerve.

“F@ck me? F@ck you!” Teddy shot back without thinking. Not exactly his sharpest comeback, but it was a reflex. He scoffed at Enoch’s dramatic exit line about taking his tragic stare with him. “Yeah, well, I don’t see how you could leave it behind. Seriously, though, you’ve got to learn to take a joke, man.” He said, giving his classmate some useful life advice before he had the chance to bolt again.

 

[Enoch Goldewyn]

Enoch rolled his eyes at Teddy, he just wasn't in the mood for this. Just wasn't in the mood to be bothered by a guy who seemed to have everything so easy. "You've got to learn to not always make the joke," he said in reply sharply. "I am so f2cking tired of everyone in this stupid school wanting me to be happy and jovial," he rubbed his face with his hands in exasperation. "I'm so tired, why won't all of you just leave me alone, that's all I want,"

 

[Teddy Pirrip]

Teddy watched Enoch for a moment before letting out a short laugh, one of those hollow ones that’s more about disbelief, there was no humour in it. “Wait, hold on. So you want to be miserable and alone?" he said dryly, his gaze hardening. "Fine. That’s your choice. But honestly, sounds boring as hell. I swear you weren't this boring a couple of years ago. What happened to you?” The question was more of a throwaway comment than anything. Back then, Teddy hadn’t shared as many classes with Enoch, so it reasonable to assume that perhaps he just hadn’t noticed him as much. Teddy first picked up on this vibe from Enoch on their train ride to Hogwarts at the start of third year, and hadn't seen the boy happy at any point, ever since.

 

[Enoch Goldewyn]

Enoch rolled his eyes a little, since he did just want to be alone. "I'd like to just be alone," he retorted though he knew that for someone like Teddy likely being alone was miserable, it wasn't really to him, he didn't really mind being alone. He thought about the question being asked, and thought about his parents, he thought about his brothers. He thought about telling him, about saying the words out loud, and the were on the tip of his tongue. "Why would I do that, you'll just make a joke or make fun of me," he said, but he was right there about to say it.

 

[Teddy Pirrip]

Teddy's bravado faltered as he looked at Enoch with a half smile that softened as he caught the hesitation in his voice. "I’m not always making jokes," he said, his tone more defensive than he intended. He realised quickly that this wasn't the time for jokes, "Well, most of the time, yeah, but not about serious stuff." He felt a bit guilty telling Enoch he had a tragic stare now because he had made fun of him. "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, but I promise I won't make fun of you." Teddy glanced away for a second, giving Enoch a moment to decide if he wanted to continue.

 

[Enoch Goldewyn]

Enoc still wasn't sure whether he should say anything. It did seem like perhaps Teddy wasn't going to make fun of him should he say it, but he still wasn't sure he wanted to say it. It would be the first person he told since they had passed, and of all people he wasn't sure he wanted it to be Teddy. But it did weigh on his soul. It did leave him hurting with no one to speak to and even as much as he claimed to want to be alone, it was painfully lonely at times. "My parents...they died, and I keep....forgetting. Having moments where I forget," he spoke quietly, his tone softer than it usually was, less defensive than he usually was.

 

[Teddy Pirrip]

Teddy felt a wave of confusion and regret wash over him. He’d been so wrapped up in his own world that he had seen Enoch's pain as comical rather than troubling. Now, hearing about Enoch's parents being dead, Teddy felt completely out of his depth. “Enoch, I… I didn’t know,” he began, his voice faltering as the words stumbled out of him. “I’m really sorry for what I said. I’ve been a complete idiot. I didn't even know. Does anyone know?" He asked, surprised he hadn't heard from the usual rumour mill around school. "What do you mean by you forget? You mean you keep forgetting it happened?" He asked, although he didn't really know what words he should be saying and in what order to be coherent.

He imagined himself in that situation and it was frightening. Teddy was an only child with very few other family and would be utterly lost without his doting parents. Merlin, he'd probably be like Enoch in the same situation. Loads of questions popped into his head like when, where, how, but he put those to one side to focus on Enoch. "Do you have, like, other family to, er, look out for you and stuff like that?"

 

[Enoch Goldewyn]

Enoch wasn't sure what would happen when he said it, but he could at least feel a little pleased that Teddy seemed to realise the weight of what was on Enoch's mind. That it hadn't been something small, and it had been worth his mood. He didn't really feel any better. It didn't help make things better for him. It didn't make him feel good. He gave a little shrug, the apology did very little for him. "No," he said, with a shrug. "No one needs to know," Enoch replied. "Like I'll momentarily forget it, and then go to write to them, and then remember that I can't, they're just gone," Enoch says, with no better way to explain it. It wasn't like Teddy would know. "I have three brothers, but they're all like twelve years older than me, they have lives and stuff." he replied, looking away, feeling awkward about being so forward or open.

 

[Teddy Pirrip]

Teddy thought Enoch must've felt better after sharing even if he wasn't outwardly showing a shift in emotions. Listening to Enoch was tough and when he said no one needed to know, Teddy's immediate gut reaction was strong disagreement. The thought of keeping this a secret sent a wave of nervous energy through him, he wasn't very good at keeping secrets at the best of times. “Uh, I dunno about that,” Teddy said, treading carefully. “Not telling anyone… I mean, that’s your call, obviously, but… it's big and what you're saying about forgetting, it sounds like you need help and I don't mean that as a bad thing."

He swallowed hard, feeling the pressure build and feeling he needed to be honest with Enoch like he'd been with him. “I think it might be better if someone else knows, someone who can really support you, maybe even a professor or someone who understands how to handle this kind of thing. I could come with you to tell someone if you wanted me to?"

 

[Enoch Goldewyn]

Enoch frowned at Teddy, he didn't need help. What would help do? They would just want more things to change, look at him sympathetically and tell him it was okay. There was nothing that could help him, his parents were just gone. He had to just deal with it. He didn't think telling anyone would help. Who would support him? Professors had other things to deal with, he knew his relationship with his own head of house was tenous and he was sure that if he did reach out to the man, he might tell his dorm mates, and the last person Enoch wanted to know was Dante. "I don't need help," he said firmly. "I'm fine," he added, though he didn't even believe his own words. "What could they do anyway? Tell me they're sorry and it'll be okay...that doesn't change anything,"