Mutuality

[Stella Lagowski]

There was nothing entertaining to Stella in books or learning. Being from a family in which the most highly commended traits were a pretty face and a willingness to obey under instruction, the fourth year cared little for academic achievement; and so reasonably she detested all forms of studying in existence. But equally it was not in her interest to fail: such was considered almost as criminal as the possession of slightly asymmetrical lips, or eyes that sat scarcely a millimetre beyond what was considered universally attractive. Indeed, failure was not an option - or, rather, it was not an option Stella was willing to entertain. Furthering her desire to at least pass her exams was the simple pleasure she gleaned from acting with purposeful discourtesy towards her father. Rick Lagowski was a wizard, but this was a fact he sought desperately to disguise by any means possible, whether that were by keeping his daughter from the knowledge of her own abilities, or by adamantly refusing to associate himself with any of 'their kind'. The origin of this odd resentment was only speculated, never known, because Rick had never spoken of it. Stella did not care to know, nor any longer desire to follow in his footsteps. He may have been a director, but his unfaithfulness to his family had ensured that whatever shreds of respect his daughter had once had for him were now brutally torn away.

At Hogwarts, Stella felt much like she imagined her father to be feeling. Determined to be expelled, she had shouted, bullied, and disobeyed her way into a number of detentions, and now there remained hardly a student in her year who didn't think her spoiled and unkind. She'd tried apologising, but, as she was learning, there were some acts of misconduct that a bowed head and mumbled 'Sorry' could not undo the effects of. Nobody liked her. Nobody except her cousins. As if she was not reminded of this frequently enough on a day-to-day basis, every table in the library that she approached to sit at was quickly gathered in at, as to make her exclusion from their groups more pointed. After repeating this several more times, she grew so vexated and humiliated that she flung herself and her book down at the table of a younger girl and rubbed furiously at her eyes. She was not crying. They couldn't get to her.

 

[Lilyanna Hope]

Upon arriving at Hogwarts for her second year, Lilyanna was not very much excited for it at all. She hated it and all she wanted was to move schools to somewhere where people would actually like her and appreciate her for who she was. But coming from a family where spoilt children are not tolerated, she was by no means going to another school any time soon. Mainly it was the fact that if she left that meant her and her twin sister would separate, most likely causing a number of problems that Lilyanna would have just started herself. She was excellent at causing problems by herself and that was probably why no one in her year dared to ever want to be her friend. Friends were always hard to make for her and she was very thankful that she at least had someone like Tholomyes who she could have intelligent conversations with whenever she wished. People like him were hard to find and there was no way that Lilyanna would ever want to leave him for another school.

With her textbooks clutched tightly against her stomach, Lilyanna made her way to the library with her head held high. She knew that there weren't going to be many people in the library considering it was only the beginning of the year and it was never too early to start some studying before classes officially began. Too many people meant too many distractions for the Slytherin and there was no way that she was going to tolerate people who thought distracting her was entertaining. She quietly sat down at the nearest vacant table and opened up her charms textbook that she had bought at the beginning of the year. Reading ahead was always her favourite thing to do and she was sure that her professor was going to love her for it. Her eyes scanned each page as she read, not daring to look up at any of the people around her. It wasn't until a loud thud on the table made her jump and Lilyanna looked up to find an older girl who looked like she was about to cry, sitting down at the same table. She gave her a dirty look. "What is it?" she snapped at her, clearly frustrated with her sudden appearance. Some people obviously had no manners.

 

[Stella Lagowski]

Whatever Stella had expected the young girl to say about her abrupt appearance, it was not the angry words that shot out of her mouth like bullets. People. Were. So. Rude. Didn't anybody know who Stella was? She'd never have been treated with such hostility in the Muggle world; her achievements and status were praised and idolised. Flicking a tear from her cheek, the Hufflepuff scowled. Fourth years treating her unkindly, she could handle. But first or second years? Wild horses could not have driven her away from that table. Affronted, she pulled herself up straight and opened her book in the middle. "I'm studying," she declared sharply. Who did this girl even think she was, snapping so impolitely at people who came to join her? Stella would not have been surprised to discover that her group of friends was exceedingly small. But then she flushed, because one friend would have been more than she had.

In a spur of the moment decision, Stella looked up, leant on her book, and said, "You know why I sat here?" Pause. "Because nobody else will let me sit at their table. You think I want to sit here with someone younger than me?" Stella scoffed. "I'd rather drink undiluted bubotuber pus. I'm sorry that I'm cluttering up your clearly oh-so-popular image, but I've got nowhere else to go." Her tone wasn't so much spiteful as it was blunt and honest, with perhaps a subtle undertone of sadness. After all she'd been through, she was finding it hard to muster up any genuine venom.

 

[Lilyanna Hope]

Lilyanna was a bit taken aback when the girl replied sharply that she was studying. She thought she was the only one who ever did that so early in the year and was pleased to see that someone was taking education as seriously as she was. She was about to tell her that she was in fact studying as well but when the girl spoke again, Lilyanna lost her chance and listened to what else she had to say to her. She didn't understand why the girl didn't want to sit next to someone younger than her. What was wrong with sitting next to someone who was only a couple of years younger? It was like saying that Lilyanna didn't want to have anything to do with her cousins who were half her age and it kind of made Lilyanna wonder if that was in fact the only reason why the girl didn't want to sit there.

As the girl sarcastically stated the fact that Lilyanna obviously had no friends, she couldn't help but frown at her words. She knew that she wasn't the most popular person in the school but hearing it come out of someone else's mouth was slightly intimidating. She hated to admit that she basically had no friends without Tholomyes to keep her company but it was slightly true. He already had many more friends than Lilyanna so she was mostly off by herself anyway, not that it really bothered her much. Too much company could get a bit overwhelming at times. Lilyanna just couldn't believe that the girl had the audacity to point out one of her insecurities and could feel her face flush a tinge of red and her eyes begin to water. "How would you know if I'm popular or not? You don't even know me!" she shouted, easily becoming angry with the whole situation. Who did the girl think she was sarcastically talking to Lilyanna like that?

 

[Stella Lagowski]

At the girl's sudden outburst, Stella startled, leaning back in her chair. Observing the sheen in her eyes, this surprise quickly escalated into guilt, and then remorse. She hadn't intended harm with her words - a part of her had doubted they even held any accuracy to them - she'd merely been affronted by her unwarranted attitude and spoken too quickly. Stella's cheeks continued to redden as she recalled the many valuable lessons in friendship her uncle and aunt had been trying to teach her over the holidays. They'd have been ashamed to discover how unkind their niece had been to a poor second year. And after all they'd done for her!

"I'm sorry!" Stella cried sincerely, raising her hands in self defence. Heads throughout the library were turning. "Shh, please. I didn't mean it. It's not like I'm Miss Popularity myself. I'm just projecting." Stella had learned about that since Uncle Nathaniel had caught her trying to call Ray an attention wh**e and told her what it meant. "It's how I feel about myself. I guess I'm so much of a loser I want everyone else to feel like one, too." Sighing, Stella rested her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand and turned the page of her book, feeling too miserable to take any of the information in.

 

[Lilyanna Hope]

Lilyanna wiped away a small tear that was falling down her left cheek as the girl tried to frantically apologise to her. She didn't mean to cry and was starting to feel slightly embarrassed, especially with all of the heads turning to look in their direction. Sometimes Lilyanna hated herself and how angry she could get and merely hoped that the girl truly meant what she was saying. Luckily, it seemed like she did and Lilyanna took a few deep breaths when the blonde began to pity herself, trying to calm herself down. Lilyanna didn't mean for the girl to want to pity herself after hurting Lilyanna's feelings. It all happened too quickly and she had the sudden urge to just walk away from everything and not come back. But instead she stayed seated and watched as the girl continued to look at her book with a sad, and possibly guilty, expression on her face.

"I don't think you're much of a loser." Lilyanna said in an attempt to make her feel a bit better. "But if you keep talking to people like that then maybe you are." She continued to pretend to read her book too as she realised how much of a hypocrite she was being. If Lilyanna had just ignored the girl's presence and kept trying to study then maybe the whole situation would've turned out a bit better. On the bright side, at least the girl didn't hate her entirely. After all, she was still sitting with her with was probably a plus. "Oh and I'm sorry for being so... unwelcoming." She turned the page of her charms textbook, wondering if the girl would ever want to accept an apology after everything that just happened. Lilyanna could safely say that she had liked the girl a bit better now after she apologised and she was hoping that would work the other way too.

 

[Stella Lagowski]

Stella turned up her eyes without repositioning her head, raising her eyebrows at what she thought might have been intended words of comfort. For the time being she didn't trust herself not to speak without adding some cutting remark, so she went back to her book and tried not to think about their awkward encounter. Neither of them knew so much as the other's name, yet already they had bitten their acquaintance's head off. Clearly this year was going to begin the same way it always had: alone, and full of spite.

But as Stella was reckoning this, the girl across the table did something unusual: she apologised. More taken aback by this than her outburst a moment ago, Stella stopped reading. It had been quite some time since anybody had ever told her they were sorry, and it warmed her to such an extent that she felt the need to return it. "Thanks. I'm sorry for calling you unpopular. I really don't know who you are." Letting her eyes fall on the charms textbook, she added, "Do you need any help with that?" This was better. Uncle Nathaniel would have been proud.

 

[Lilyanna Hope]

Lilyanna's words had clearly not made the girl feel as better as she was hoping, but it was better than nothing. Cheering people up wasn't always her number one talent though so she was not surprised with the lack of reaction that she was getting. Her former Hufflepuff father would definitely be proud at her attempt nonetheless and she smiled at the thought of it. What made it even better was the fact that the girl accepted her apology and she supposed that everything was hopefully back to normal again. It gave the both of them a chance to start over which was definitely what Lilyanna needed.

The question that came out of the girl's mouth though was definitely not what Lilyanna would have expected. Being as independent as she was, she wasn't quite sure whether or not she should let the older student help her with her charms work. Despite this, the girl had already done her second year course and so she obviously knew more than what Lilyanna did. Besides, getting help from someone shouldn't be that bad at all. "I'm just reading ahead and I've already found some rather phenomenal information in here if I do say so myself. Did you know that the unlocking charm can also be known as the 'Thief's Friend' due to it's amazing skills at unlocking doors? But what I don't understand about it is how on earth many houses, particularly in the muggle areas, don't get broken into by wizards too often. I guess the wizarding community are just rather nice people and the bad ones are probably off doing too many bad things to even worry about breaking into houses." She shrugged, not really caring how much she was rambling off to this almost stranger. Hopefully she didn't mind.

 

[Stella Lagowski]

When Stella had offered her help, she had not been anticipating the spontaneous soliloquy that followed. She stared, somewhat bemused, until she realised that the girl actually had a fairly pertinent point. After thinking for a moment, she divulged her own opinion on the matter; living as a Muggle until the age of eleven had taught her a thing or two. "Well, I guess you're right," she agreed. "It would be pretty easy for wizards to break into someone's house, steal everything, wipe their memory and make off with their stuff. But why would they? Most of the things Muggles have that are worth stealing don't even exist in this world. I was talking to a kid the other day who didn't even know what a television was." Realising that this girl might not know either, she hastened on. "And even if they managed to sell what they'd stolen, it would look a bit suspicious if a wizard waltzed into Gringotts and asked to exchange five thousand dollars for galleons. Those goblins are suspicious of you even when you haven't done anything wrong." There was still the matter regarding wizards spending that money in the Muggle world, but Stella could only imagine Muggle-borns would be willing to do that.

"I mean, you have a point, but when Obliviate exists, we could get away with literally anything, and nobody would ever know we'd done it because they wouldn't remember." Stella laughed then, because she hadn't considered this before. She could have obliviated her dad to forget he was a film director. That would have been funny. Or perhaps implanted false memories of her being cast into the head of an agent. But on reflection, she realised there wasn't much to gain in this, because would have had to have lived with the knowledge that she'd cheated her way to the top. "Yeah. I think the bad guys are probably out burgling the houses of rich witches and wizards. There's more to gain." And more risk, but she supposed that if someone was going to burgle a house, risk was not in the forefront of their mind. Realising she'd had her first proper conversation with someone besides her cousins in weeks, the fourth year smiled. "I'm Stella, by the way. Hufflepuff."

 

[Lilyanna Hope]

Lilyanna smiled as the girl began talking, much like Lilyanna and Tholomyes would talk whenever they both didn't quite understand something. She always felt a sort of happiness whenever she was able to freely discuss something with someone and could feel her liking this girl more and more with everything she said. Lilyanna listened closely when she mentioned something called a television and knew that she would have to find out later what exactly that was. Muggle objects had always fascinated the Slytherin and she didn't understand why some wizards were so against muggles or muggle-borns. To her, everyone in the world was very much the same and muggles were so much smarter than wizards purely for their ability to live without magic.

Lilyanna nodded. "Yes, walking into Gringotts with muggle money would definitely be suspicious. But how would muggle-borns get the right amount of galleons they need to buy what they need for school in the wizarding world? The only way to do that would be to exchange muggle money. Perhaps a half-blood wizard was borrowing money from their aunt or uncle? Five thousand dollars is definitely a lot but they could always just do it a little bit at a time." She looked up at her when she mentioned her name. Lilyanna had never thought of introducing herself yet and was slightly glad that Stella managed to get there before her. "I'm Lilyanna Hope, second year Slytherin." she said with a smile. Making friends was definitely not too hard at all.

 

[Stella Lagowski]

Stella frowned, having no choice but to admit the girl had a point. After all, the Hufflepuff herself had exchanged dollars for galleons upon her first arrival to the wizarding bank. She came to the swift conclusion that there was really no way of preventing break-ins to Muggle houses, and hoped for the sake of her friends and family at home that nothing as dastardly as this had ever befallen them. Imagining waking up with no valuables and no recollection of ever having owned any!

When Lilyanna introduced herself as a second year, Stella said, "Yeah? Enjoy it - it only gets harder," but then smiled in as reassuring a manner as she could. Many of her classmates were progressing just fine, so there was every possibility Stella was the black sheep of the bunch, and that the essays she'd written, screwed up, rewritten, edited, and then produced to her professors a week late were actually quite easy. Sighing, Stella cast a brief glance downward at her book, abandoning all hope of ever getting any work done when her eyes fell upon three consecutive words she didn't know the definitions of. "Hey," she said suddenly, brightening at the thought she was about to voice. "Do you want to get something to eat? We could take our books with us and sit outside." It was quite unlike her to suggest anything so friendly, but the desperation of loneliness made even the coldest hearts susceptible to spontaneous amiability.

 

[Lilyanna Hope]

Lilyanna was a bit confused when Stella told her to enjoy her second year. The Slytherin wouldn't mind it at all if her years ended up getting harder. A challenge was what she loved and so she took the girl's words lightly, not really caring if it did end up getting much harder. She already knew exactly what subjects she wanted to do for her OWLs and there was no way anyone could ever change her mind about them. Lilyanna just continued to read until Stella spoke up again, and Lilyanna smiled at her, unsure if she really wanted to stop what she was doing just to go and get something to eat. Food had not really interested the girl as much as what it did to other people but she still nodded at the offer nonetheless, knowing that if she rejected it that she probably rejected a potential best friend also. "Yes, that would be great." she told her, closing her textbook and shoving it into her bookbag, knowing that getting food was probably a good idea considering her rumbling stomach. "Although, I'm not really sure where to go. What did you have in mind?"