Memories Supposed To Fade

[Toni Addison]

((I would prefer if the person who joins knows Toni. ))

The North tower was one place in the school that Toni had gone only for drastic occasions. First time she made her way up to the tower, Toni learned that it was a place where secrets were spilt and drama created. Not that she believed any of that at all. Yet the second time she made her way up to the tower was when Toni had kissed Beau and it was then she let it spill to Jenna. Some times later this was the very place that Beau asked Toni to the Yule ball. Now it was only about six days after Beau had left the school and Toni was now going up to the tower once more.

Her outfit today was her uniform for she didn't feel like picking something out today. It wasn't like her not to want to wear some of her new clothes, but lately Toni was barely herself. The pain of Beau leaving was really too much for her. Even though she wouldn't admit it aloud.

Climbing the stairs, Toni realized with each step her eyes got closer to tearing. By the time she reached the top her tears were falling freely leaving small drops on the floor as she moved into a small corner and brought her legs up holding her arms around them. There was no point in stopping the tears. There was no way Toni knew how. All she could say was that she was glad that this tower for once was really empty. Moving her head slightly, Toni made sure that her blonde hair covered her face just in case someone did make their way up to the tower. Not that it would matter. Nothing was going to cover the fact that Toni had finally broken down, Toni was finally crying out of the comfort of her own dorm something that she swore she would never do.

 

[Taylor Mercer]

Taylor had felt beyond happy as of late. Things finally seemed to be looking up a bit for her. The worry about her Mum faded as she began to settle to the idea that her Mum could look after herself and wasnt allowing Taylor to owl her for the right reasons. The stay at the hospital wing had actually been one of her highlights. Strangly enough. Knight had kept his promise about visiting her every day. Her stay was made enjoyable that way. He had even asked her out, something Taylor couldnt wait to do.

Making her way up the tower she wanted to come here to think about everything. It was always the best way to settle everything, Taylor had acted irrationally in the past due to not thinking things through. So now she swore she would think everything through, either after it happened or before. She still made plenty of mistakes, if not more than before. But Taylor was a thinker, so here she was. In the North Tower, wanting to think about everything that had happened. It was peaceful up here.

She approached a window, the same one her and Knight had looked out of all that time ago. She smiled a little at the memory, when they had promised they would buy gifts for each other for christmas regardless of what happened. She reached a hand up and held the necklace in her palm. The one Scorpius had given her, once again keeping a promise he had made. She couldnt wait to get those pictures they had taken with his present developed.

Taylor hadnt noticed before, but there was movement in the corner of her range of vision. Looking around she noticed someone on the floor, they appeared to be crying, but Taylor couldnt tell because their hair was covering their face. It sort of looked like Toni, although Taylor couldnt be sure. She took a step back thinking she should leave, but she stumbled and hit a suit of armor. Damn these things for being located all throughout Hogwarts. Taylor thought as the clanging rang through the North Tower. She hoped they wouldnt be angry. Although with a slytherin uniform, Taylor was practically hoping for rain in a drought.

 

[Toni Addison]

Toni hadn't heard anyone entering the tower. Her mind was swirling with thoughts of Beau and how on earth she was going to manage without him. Never had Toni been really single in her life. It was always that she had some sort of guy at her side that she claimed to be her own boyfriend. Ever since this little girl was six she had a boyfriend. Of coarse back then it wasn't serious and Toni never thought a relationship could be serious. Now she found out that one could and she had fallen for the boy that had to leave. This little girl's first heartbreak at age twelve.

Not even bothering to rub her eyes clear of the tears that were falling fast and freely, Toni didn't even notice the top of her uniform getting soaked. Her pointer finger tracing the name and birthdate of the bracelet that Beau had given her even though Toni did not bring her gaze up.

Well at least she didn't look up until she heard a huge noise as if someone had dropped something making a loud clashing noise. Picking her head up fast she noticed it was Taylor. How should she react? Lash out and yell at Taylor to get away? Break down and ask Taylor what Toni should do in this situation? Or maybe Toni could put her head back down and ignore that the noise had been made. Yet now Taylor knew it was Toni up in the towers crying. Rubbing her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt, Toni just looked up at Taylor for a short while not yet knowing how to react.

Finally an attempt of a smile made it's way to Toni's face. "Ever think you would see me like this" She said almost in a whisper luckily her voice carrying in the almost empty tower. Putting her head back on her knees, Toni didn't know what else to say. In a way she hoped Taylor would come sit down by her, though just as strongly she prayed Taylor would walk away without saying a word. Only Taylor could decide which action she would choose.

 

[Taylor Mercer]

Still cringing about the massive noise the armor had made, she was somewhat relieved to see Toni look up. Then again, how would Toni react. The slytherin looked at Taylor for a few long moments and then she whispered something about Taylor ever seeing her like this. Taylor had to admit, she wasnt surprised she had caught Toni like this. Why was it whenever the two caught each other it was always when either was upset. Actually it was usually Toni that was upset.

Toni put her head back on her knees and Taylor had two choices running through her head. Go stand by Toni and comfort her, or walk away and leave her. The second thought dug holes in the Gryffindor in side her, so she went with the first option. Walking over, she knelt down next to the girl and placed a hand on her shoulder. "It doesnt surprise me. I always seem to catch you in bad situations. Its kind of the reason we are friends." She said the last part slowly, not sure what they really meant. Were her and Toni friends? Either way, thats what Toni needed right now. A friend, so Taylor was willing to be one for the moment even if Toni didnt think it wasnt true. It was true though, that the foundations of, whatever they had, were built on meetings when Toni was upset.

 

[Toni Addison]

The tears did seem to still fall from Toni's eyes as if she hadn't cried enough in the previous days. Really it was almost unbelievable that Toni had any tear drops left. Yet this young twelve year old didn't even think about how many tears she had left or how long she had been crying for. More she thought about why she was crying, the simple reason that Beau was now gone. It just really killed her.

Toni soon felt a hand on her shoulder. Not even bothering to look up she knew it was Taylor. The statement that soon left the Gryffindor's mouth made Toni's lip move slightly as if she was going to smile yet still at the moment Toni was unable to even think about smiling nonetheless smile.

Taylor was right though. They did always seem to meet when Toni was upset, never in tears though. Hopefully this would be the last meeting where Toni was upset and the last time ever Toni broke down into tears. Though she doubted that would be true on either accounts.

"Do you know?" Toni questioned looking up slightly wiping her eyes off on her sleeve yet the tears didn't seem to stop at this. Slowly they kept falling. Did Taylor know that Beau was gone? Did Taylor even understand Toni's question. Unable to look Taylor in the eyes any more, Toni placed her head back down on her knees just awaiting an answer.

 

[Taylor Mercer]

Taylor waited patiently for Toni to answer, Taylor didnt know what was up. but Toni didnt even have to tell her. Whatever could make the Slytherin break down like this, had to be something quite large. Just when Taylor thought the group might have been set right once and for all. I guess drama loves everyone too much. She thought, somewhat seriously. It never seemed to leave.

Toni suddenly spoke, simply asking Taylor if she knew. What did she know? She thought for a moment about what this could be and honestly couldnt think of anything. It couldnt be Jenn leaving. Taylor almost laughed aloud at the thought. Unless something went on that everyone didnt know about. It couldnt have been Scorp and Luna breaking up, that thought just made no sense. Apart from that Taylor couldnt think of anything else that had happened to make her like this. "Im sorry, no I dont." She said quietly. Admitted the fact, but not asking anything in return. If Toni wanted to talk about it, Taylor would listen, otherwise nothing needed to be said.

 

[Toni Addison]

The tears slightly landing on the floor as the moments passed all the emotions buliding up more and more as the silence built up. It almost hurt that Taylor didn't seem to know. As Taylor finally admitted that she knew nothing, Toni let out a sigh which was luckily not the sob that was intended first. How could Taylor not know? Didn't she realize that Beau wasn't in the classes anymore? Didn't Taylor know that Beau and Toin no longer enjoyed walks outside by the lake. Didn't Taylor know that Toni wasn't herself anymore? Obviously not Toni thought not looking up.

"Beau" She said simply at first not able to get the rest of her statement out right away. Taking an deep breath she tried to speak again. "Beau's gone" She said suddenly the tears falling from her eyes slightly faster at this. It was true. He was gone. Now Toni didn't know what she was going to do without him. "He had to move" She continued looking up her eyes now even more puffy than they were previously. "I don't know what to do" She added her tone almost desperate, confused, and lost. No this wasn't the normal Toni. It wasn't the Toni anyone had ever expected or would ever see again...hopefully

 

[Taylor Mercer]

(( Im presuming this is after the Three Broomsticks, if it isnt I can edit ))

Taylor thought about that statement. Beau? The Slytherin Beau, Taylor hadnt realised they were even friends, let alone this close. Were they going out or something? Taylor was really confused. Toni was crying pretty hard so Taylor wrapped her arms around the other girl. "Hey its going to be okay. I didnt even know you and Beau had something going on. I havnt spoken to you in a while." She laughed lightly, to try and ease the mood a little. "You will be able to see him again." She said lightly. "Its not the end, there is holidays, you can go visit. You can owl him." She tried. "Its going to be hard because he isnt around anymore, but you have us-" She said gently, Taylor knew that Knight and Sam would be there for her too. "-and its never the end." She finished, pulling back from Toni, sitting in front of her with her hands on each shoulder.

Everyone was losing someone. Sam had lost Jenn, Scorp had lost Luna and now Toni had lost Beau, even though Taylor hadnt been aware of it after he had gone. Taylor felt like something bad was going to happen to her anytime soon. It was happening to everyone else, she wouldnt be surprised. Taylor remembered back to the Three Broomsticks, Toni hadnt showed any of this. Had it happened before or after? Toni could tell Taylor the details if she wanted, but at the moment, the girl seemed so lost, none of it really mattered at the moment.

 

[Toni Addison]

((Yeah it's after the three Broomsticks so you're good))

Toni could tell that Taylor was slightly confused by all this. Was it because Toni was acting this way or was it possibly because Taylor had no clue that Toni and Beau were dating. It really wasn't too long that they had been dating and whenever Toni and Taylor hung out it was with the rest of the group. That meant Toni could even mention Beau.

As Taylor put her arm around Toni, Toni wanted moved away slightly but she couldn't. She didn't want to seem that weak that she needed Taylor to comfort her to that extent but really she was feeling pathetic and weak at the moment. Never again would she act like this is front of anyone. Hopefully Taylor would keep this break down to herself. "Yeah Beau and I were dating" Toni said the word 'were' cutting deep. They were dating that was the past. Once more Toni was single but on a deeper level she was without Beau.

"No" Toni said simply as Taylor tried to be helpful telling her that she would see Beau again. "It's the end" She added knowing that it really was .Beau would go to a new school, move on and forget about Toni. He had the right to yet Toni hated to even admit that to herself, unable to admit it aloud. Wiping her eyes, Toni realized that the tears had stopped for the most part.

"Sam and Knight are going to be cheering about this fact.They hated Beau" Toni said thinking how both boys did hate Beau. They did both have a right to didn't they? Toni wasn't really sure and right now she didn't want to think about it.

 

[Taylor Mercer]

Taylor sighed, listening to Toni and when she said it was the end, Taylor didnt reply. Maybe it was, but Toni didnt need to be reminded of this fact. Taylor took a seat, instead of kneeling in front of Toni and crossed her legs, placing her hands in her lap. "Im sure he isnt ever going to forget you though, even if he has moved. Ever." She said seriously. "Your not an easy person to forget." She said with a playful side to her voice, although this wasnt a situation she could make jokes in.

"You have every right to be upset now, because the only way you can get over that kind of stuff, is by accepting it. Its going to hurt yes." She said it very slowly, but people needed to know the truth. Taylor only sugarcoated things to make them seem better, but she always said the truth. There wasnt a way around the situation, because Beau was gone and Toni was going to feel it for a while, but hopefully realising it could make her accept it and move on faster. Pretending he was coming back would drag things on too long.

"Well then I guess you can be even, I'm sure you were quite happy about Jenn leaving." She said simply, remembering back to the events that happened. Beau was the one Toni has kissed when she was with Sam! Taylor had completely forgotten about that. Then Knight had beat him up. It was a strange series of events and they all ended in this. Would the group be able to pick itself up again after this one?

 

[Toni Addison]

Toni had remembered that Beau had promised he would never forget her. How could he make that promise? Well of coarse Toni had made that same promise but she knew she could keep it. Did he know that he was going to be able to keep that promise as well? Toni only hoped so. Tracing his engraved name on the bracelet that hung loosely on her wrist, a small smile formed on her lips.

"I am accepting it" Toni said tightening her grip around her legs as she said the words. They hurt. How could she possibly be accepting the fact that Beau was gone, it was the end. Though the situation seemed hopeless, Toni knew there had to be some hope. Yet Toni could not see that little glimpse of hope, no matter how hard she would try. "It's just hard" Toni said her voice dropping to a whisper.

Pick yourself up Toni thought trying to hold her head higher now that the tears had stopped falling her fingers never leaving the bracelet that was one of the few reminders that Toni had of Beau.

As Jenna came into the conversation, Toni's soft smile grew slightly. "I was thrilled when Jenn left" Toni said saying that statement out loud for the first time.For so long Toni had kept that inside for Sam and Knight's sake but now, now she wasn't going to keep quiet.

"Do you think they'll put up an act" Toni began speaking of both Sam and Knight. "At least act as if they are slightly upset" She wondered doubting that it would happen but still it would make things so much easier. No matter how much Toni didn't want to admit it, she needed a few people, her friends to help her get through this whole thing.

 

[Taylor Mercer]

Taylor looked down at the floor and allowed a small nod when Toni said she was accepting it. "Of course its going to be hard." She said simply, but with reassuring laced in her voice. Taylor didnt know what Toni was going through, but didnt think it would be pleasent to be a part of. Everyone was struggling now, but Toni being a girl, had been hit quite hard it seemed. Sam and Knight wouldnt show how much they were hurting and Knight seemed to be moving on faster than Taylor thought, if him asking her out was anything to go by. She was hit with a pang of guilt at her thoughts, but quickly threw them out. She needed to focus on Toni right now.

Taylor smiled when Toni said she was trilled Jenn left. "We all knew you would be." She allowed lightly. Taylor thought about the next question. How would they act? She wasnt quite sure. "I know they arent going to pretend they are sorry he is gone, but they wont have to pretend to be worried about you, which will make them upset." She said evenly. She was rather sure that much was true.

 

[Toni Addison]

Had everyone really expected Toni to be happy when Jenna left? Probably. Afterall, Jenna and Toni never got along. Really though Toni would have rather seen Hoshi leave as well. Maybe that would be coming in the near future, Toni could only cross her fingers and hope. Though at the moments hopeful thoughts of the ones she disliked leaving the group didn't seem to cheer her up as much as she would have hoped. Looking out across the room at nothing in particular, Toni let out one more sigh as she listened to Taylor explain how she believed the boys would act.

Taylor's words were probably true. Yet in some way Toni wanted someone else to be upset that Beau was leaving. No one else seemed to know or show any concern. This was one of the many things that seemed to bother Toni about this situation. Shaking herself mentally, Toni wiped her eyes once more now they were completely dry. "I'm not going to bring it up to anyone else" Toni said running her fingers through her hair fixing it, trying to get back to her old self after this rather uncharacteristic breakdown. "I just going to act as everything is alright" She continued fixing her outfit and standing up but not quite yet walking away. "Thanks for being here though" Toni said smiling at Taylor. The words 'you are a great friend' wanted to come out of Toni's mouth yet at the moment she couldn't managed to force them.

 

[Taylor Mercer]

Taylor nodded when Toni said she was just going to pretend it didnt happen to everyone else. "Maybe its the best way, you cant always expect people to have good outcomes." She said with a shrug. Taylor thought it a shame Beau had gone, she never really got to know him that well, but on the other hand, she couldnt be too sad he had left for the same reason, she didnt know him that well.

Toni stood up and Taylor did too, brushing herself down a bit after sitting on the floor. "Its okay, this can be just between you and me." She said, knowing Toni probably wouldnt want everyone knowing about her breakdown in the North Tower. Taylor was glad she had come up here though. She hated the thought of Toni up here by herself crying, it made Taylor wonder how often she did things like this.

 

[Toni Addison]

Toni nodded once as she continued to fix her hair. Her logic was simply if her hair looked absolutely perfect than no one would notice she had been crying. Though it wasn't the best logic, Toni imagined that she would be able to hide this fact. Just run down to the dorm and spend the rest of the day there Toni thought. That would probably be the day plan for her.

"Thank you" Toni said when Taylor had said that it was just going to be between the two of them. "I mean half the people wouldn't believe you if you told anyway" Toni said with a small laugh. Really Toni had that image that very few would picture her breaking down in tears at the loss of a boy.

Taking a few steps towards the door, Toni let out a sigh hoping that she wouldn't bump into anyone went she walked the halls. "You are a" She paused just say the words She thought almost trying to get herself to say them aloud. "a great friend" She finished flashing a small smile. Though Toni didn't feel completely better, she was better than only moments before. Was that because Taylor helped or was it because Toni was just out of tears? Either way.

 

[Taylor Mercer]

"I guess so." Taylor laughed at Toni's comment about people not believing her. She then turned to leave and Taylor stepped towards the window, not really wanting to go, even though she had forgotten the purpase to why she had come. Taylor snapped her head to Toni when she said she was a great friend though. She smiled, "Its okay. Lets just hope the next time we meet it isnt because the other has problems." She said with a light laugh. "I hope you feel better." She nodded a little, the smile still evident on her face.