Lost Cause

[Louisa Clark]

Louisa May Clark was many things, but social was not one of them. Not anymore at any rate. It was for this reason that she'd found this little nook in the North Tower, a tiny window looking out on the grounds. Here she could read, or write in her journal, maybe do homework. Not that it mattered what she was doing, the main pull factor was the fact that she did it alone. She'd gone searching straight after her first lesson, heading higher and higher, away from the Slytherin Dungeons to somewhere where she felt the air was fresh again. The castle had become less and less crowded as she climbed, though the seventh floor had been inexplicable populated by Gryffindors, so she assumed their common room was around there. She stored that fact away, thinking she might need it for future reference. She was good at storing facts, remembering things. She could remember a recipe after cooking it once, but not after reading it. For Louisa to remember it accurately, she needed to associate some action, time, or place with the thing itself. So, to remember the Gryffindor common room's possible location, she would associate it with finding this hiding spot. She'd checked the other towers,but there were classrooms in each. That wasn't ideal. The third, the North Tower, had been more fruitful. Yes, there was the owlery, but people didn't send letters so frequently that she'd be consistently bothered. She also discovered after her first few visits to the spot, that if she pretending to be utterly engrossed in what she was doing, people would leave her alone.

On this particular day, she was reading a book she'd borrowed from the library, one about imbuing objects with magical properties during their building. She was hoping she could maybe do it with a boat for the Summer. Just something to make it stronger, or perhaps lighter in the water so she could move faster. Boats and kayaking were two of the few things she was in any way enthusiastic about anymore. Her mother had thanked God for that, when three months after Matthew's death, Louisa had finally went out on the river again. She hadn't realised that this move had been born out of anger with her father. She would not let him ruin something she loved, not like he'd ruined her cherished memories of him. The unwelcome thought rose unbidden to the fore of her mind and she scowled at the book, trying to banish unpleasant feelings. She couldn't concentrate on the book anymore, and shut it. She could see people out on the lawn, groups and couples. A small part of her envied them, missed having a friend. Still, it was safer to avoid that kind of entanglement. She didn't need friends. She needed this year to go by as quickly as possible, to return back to Hamilton and to be with her mother. She didn't like the idea of Ella being alone, and if she were honest with herself, she didn't really like being alone either.

 

[Alana Finch]

Alana had just finished what was becoming a weekly trip to the owlery and was heading back. Practice completed, no patrol scheduled, and no more classes for the day left the fifth year with a rare moment of freedom in what had become a very busy life. Alana was grateful for all of the activities though. The teenager had never been much of a wallower, but with the fact that she would be of age in just a year's time, earlier than most people in her year, her arranged marriage felt like it was almost upon her. And thinking about that too much sent her into a tailspin, threatening to destroy her mood.

The teen had developed an acquaintanceship of sorts with Chaos, but the idea of being forced into marrying him was still repulsive to her. It would take far more than a few letters and forced vacations together to change that. Chaos infuriated her to no end much of the time that they were forced together. He'd written once that he liked her feistiness, and she often thought of that whenever she found herself in an argument with her, wondering if she was somehow giving him something that he wanted. That wouldn't do. Not at all.

As she walked Alana spotted a girl that she'd passed earlier. She looked young, no doubt a first year, and upset or annoyed. It was hard to tell which. The Slytherin knew that as a prefect she was supposed to help the younger students keep out of trouble and get accustomed to the castle. So, she headed over slowly, wondering what she should even say. "This is my favorite spot to think. How's it working for you?" she asked, her red eyes looking the girl over. She crossed her arms against her chest, a habit more than anything else.

Out of Character:

I promise my next response will be shorter. Alana had a lot to say.

 

[Louisa Clark]

It was as though her thoughts had summoned someone, and her frown deepened as she heard a voice. She hadn't really wanted someone to be there, she'd just wanted her Mum. It was strange, that she now relied on her Mum for comfort. In years gone by, the little girl with a cut knee, or who'd fought with a friend in school, would run to her Daddy, telling him the whole story through a veil of tears. He'd always known what to do; kissed the cut, given her a hug, told her a story. Matthew Clark had understood his daughter more than anyone else on Earth. Nobody understood her that way anymore. She looked up at the girl who'd appeared. She looked familiar. She wore Slytherin robes, so they were from the same house. She had a shiny badge; a prefect. Louisa took a moment to observe her. She had red eyes, which was uncommon, but then nothing was really uncommon in the magical world.

"I didn't come to think. I came to read." she answered, picking up her book and showing it to the older student. "There were too many people in the common room." There, that was answer enough for the stranger. She'd have to accept her excuse, and leave her be. Louisa Clark was not one to share her troubles, or talk about them. This girl didn't know her, she didn't know about her family. Those things belonged solely to Louisa, and she wouldn't share them. The only problem was that this was a prefect. They were supposed to look after the younger students. She sent out a silent wish that the blonde wouldn't make some misguided attempt to befriend her.

Out of Character:

No problem

 

[Alana Finch]

Alana glanced at the book. She wasn't much of a reader, though she had been when she was younger. Now, the only thing she read was textbooks. After that, she never seemed to have the time or energy for anything else. Considering that the book had been shut when she'd shown up, Alana didn't think she'd actually been reading, but whatever. The Slytherin wasn't a therapist or a professor. She wasn't going to ask all sorts of annoying, private questions. "Yea, the common room is always pretty crazy. That's why I use this spot too" she replied. "It's about as far as I can get without leaving the castle. " Had she not already written her replies to Matthew and Chaos, she probably would have been sitting there doing it.

"Or the student lounge. It's not half bad in there" she added, more trying to give information than trying to make conversation. Alana now had the privilege of using the prefect lounge, so she doubted she'd be using any of her other spots. The other prefects seemed decent enough, and the space was amazing, part lounge, part kitchen, part den. The fifth year didn't even know what to talk to a first year about. Dolls? Wands? What did they even know? Her own first year was a distant, distant memory. So much had happened for in the castle since then. Too much.

 

[Louisa Clark]

What in the world did this girl want? "Do you want me to move?" Louisa asked, her eyebrows raised. She wasn't a normal eleven year-old. Not really. She wasn't in awe of this older girl, like others would be. She was beautiful, a prefect, she seemed nice. Another girl would've loved to get the chance to talk to her. Louisa wasn't. She would honestly prefer to be alone, but she wasn't going to be impolite. "I mean, I can go." she added, moving from her position so that her legs swung out into the corridor. "I like it up here. It's quiet." she replied to the girls comment. It was good to be away from the dungeons, they could be somewhat depressing at times. "The other towers are too busy." she added, pursing her lips at looking up at the older blonde.

"I don't really know the castle yet. Where is that? Do lots of people go there?" she asked, she was hoping to expand the amount of places she could disappear to. She didn't want to be in a place where there were too many people. Other first years were spending this time trying to make new friends. Louisa May Clark was trying to avoid being trapped by anyone trying to befriend her. At least this girl was too old to be her friend, and so she could talk to her without any risk of that really. Friends wanted to know about you, and your life. She didn't want to talk about her life. Her life was her own business.

 

[Alana Finch]

“If I wanted you to move, you’d know” Alana scoffed. The prefect continued to stare down at the eleven-year-old, wondering what her rush was. Alana had just been walking by and just thought it’d be nice to talk to the girl since she seemed lonely just gazing out the window. She was beginning to see that there was a lot more to this prefect business. It wasn’t just about helping students. It was also about dealing with their oddities. “Yea. That way is Ravenclaw tower and that way” she pointed down, “is Gryffindor tower.” She said that one with an eye roll. Alana wasn’t too fond of any of the Gryffindors that she’d come to know over the years she’d been in the castle. "Which house are you in?" she asked, her red eyes narrowing slightly as she realized the girl might be a Gryffindor.

Talking about the castle seemed like a safe enough topic for this girl, and Alana was only too happy to keep things there. “The student lounge? It’s on the fourth floor, a few doors down from the library” she added, not sure if the girl knew where that was just yet. She shrugged. “It depends when you show up. Sometimes it’s pretty quiet and then other times, it’s a mad house.”

 

[Louisa Clark]

Louisa simply looked at her. "Right." Why was this girl trying to talk to her? It made no sense whatsoever. When she pointed out which towers were which, Louisa nodded. "Yes, I saw lots of Gryffindors a few floors down, so I imagine that's where their entrance is." she replied, resisting the urge to look out the window. It wouldn't do to be rude; she didn't want to make any enemies here. That would be an unnecessary complication. When the prefect asked her house, she raised an eyebrow. By way of answer, she pointed at her crest and tie. "Slytherin." She looked at the girl again. "You're a Slytherin too. Were you the one who brought us to the dungeons?" she asked, thinking she looked somewhat familiar. She'd tried not to look at anyone too much on her way to the common room.

She'd have to avoid this student lounge place. "Right." she repeated, not wanting to be around too many people. "I imagine there are parts of the grounds where people don't really go?" she asked, planning on using this prefect to her benefit. She needed to find out where the more solitary areas of the castle and grounds were. Her mother wanted her to make friends, but friends were just a distraction. She simply needed to get good grades, and for the next seven years to pass as quickly as possible.

 

[Alana Finch]

Alana was used to rudeness coming from the Slytherins, so it was no surprise to her when the girl declared herself one. Most Slytherins walked around as if every other person owed them something for the wrongs that had been done to them.  The red-eyed girl hardly paid attention to anyone’s uniform, not exactly caring about many of the other students and certainly not a first year, so she simply shrugged her shoulders as the girl pointed out her crest and badge and asked her a question.  It was an odd feeling to know that the younger girl had recognized her as a Slytherin though.  Alana was used to being in the background, just living her life with her small group of friends.  “I definitely went to the dungeons that night, so probably.” She shrugged again for good measure.  Alana hadn’t exactly done much that night.  Mostly she’d just kept to the back and prevented students from heading off to explore as Ivaylo led the way to the dungeons.

The Slytherin prefect listened to the girl’s question, her red eyes giving the girl a look that was half between ‘why are you asking me this?’ and ‘are you serious?’  “Is your plan to just spend your seven years here avoiding people?” Alana didn’t answer the question but posed one of her own.  This was the second time in as many questions that the girl had wondered about the amount of people in a certain space.  The fifth year had only begun to make friends during her third year, and those first two years in the castle with barely a conversation among her housemates had been a version of hell that Alana wouldn’t wish on anyone.  It was odd to her that someone could actually want that wherever they went in the castle.  “That’s kind of sad, don't you think?” she added, a look of disapproval on her face.   

 

[Louisa Clark]

Louisa wanted this girl to leave. She didn't know her, and this girl seemed to be having some sort of issue around seeing a first year girl alone. Wow, you're a prefect, well done, but that doesn't mean I want you to try and solve my life problems. She couldn't exactly say that out loud though could she? This girl could dock points, or a letter could be sent home for misbehaving. She didn't want her Mum to have to deal with that; it wasn't fair, and she had enough to deal with. No, Louisa just wanted to get through this time without any difficulty or drama. Her home life had been difficult enough in the past year to last her a lifetime. She didn't want Hogwarts to add to that. She honestly would've been happy not going to school, but as it was, she couldn't be home-schooled since her mother was a muggle. There hadn't really been another choice.

She wasn't surprised that the girl was one of those who'd led them to the dungeons. Louisa hadn't paid much attention though; staying in the middle of the group so as to avoid being singled out. Her strategy for classes was similar; take a seat near the centre so that professors didn't call on you, and not so far back that they thought you were a troublemaker. The girl's next sentence, however, made her angry. This blonde idiot didn't know her! "So what if it is?" she replied, frowning. "People ask questions you don't want to answer." she added, pushing herself off the ledge and standing in the hallway. She was smaller, as she'd expected, she was smaller than nearly everyone. The next sentence just made her angrier. "Do they give you supposed prefects any training?" she growled. "You don't know me, and you don't know why I might not want to be around people, so you should just think before you speak, before you call someone you don't know at all sad!" she was on a roll. Merlin, this girl was an idiot.

 

[Alana Finch]

Alana bristled at the girl’s response to what she’d presumed to be an innocent comment. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Alana knew that it had sounded a bit rude when it’d left her tongue, but it was too late to take it back, and besides, she thought it was a bit sad. It wasn’t her fault that the girl had taken such offense to the comment. “I don’t have to deal with this” the fifth year stated, her red eyes narrowing at the little girl. “Watch your tone. As a matter of fact, walk away now before I dock you some points and report you to Professor Styx for being rude to a prefect.” Alana put her hand on her hip, using the other to point in the opposite direction. She couldn’t see herself actually going to Professor Styx for something like this, especially since she had somewhat been in the wrong, but the first year surely didn’t know that.

“I was just trying to help because you looked lonely, but if that’s what you want…Fine. Be lonely and miserable. You’ll regret it” Alana finished, speaking from experience. After finding out that she was engaged to someone that most of the school disliked and reviled, Alana had imposed a ‘screw everyone’ attitude just like this girl seemed to be giving off. It had worked horribly for her, and she’d thankfully come to her senses in time to meet a really great person in Matthew.

Out of Character:

Sorry for the delay. I was working on a grant proposal for work and my final exam for a certificate program I’m in in addition to other stuff going on. Those two things are done, so I’ll be back to a more regular pace soon.

 

[Louisa Clark]

This girl was waking the temper that Louisa tried to keep under wraps. "No you don't have to deal with this, but I would remind you that I didn't ask you to." she snapped, annoyed that the prefect was acting as though Louisa were the problem here.This silly blonde had come along, acting as though she was ever-so-important, asking questions, and casting aspersions. She didn't know Louisa May Clark. She didn't know about her life, or her family, and so who the h£ll did she think she was? Her next sentence just made things worse. "I was here FIRST!" she yelled, stamping her foot. "And while we're talking about rudeness; what makes me being rude to you worse than you being rude to me? Being a prefect doesn't make you a God!" Her voice was like a whip, as she resumed her seat on the windowsill. "I am not going anywhere, because I was perfectly fine until you came alone bothering me. You were on your way so why don't you go? You have no right to say that I'm sad. You probably don't even know what it is to really be sad, so just leave me alone." she growled, her jaw jutting out as she stared defiantly at the older student.

"If everyone in this school is as nosy as you, I really doubt I'll be regretting anything." she retorted, shocking herself with her own words. She'd never been cruel. Never. Her Dad had always said that words said in anger were words wasted. She'd always though it was better and more effective to be kind. Getting angry with this girl would do nothing, and so calming herself, she decided she would need to take a different course of action. Considering her words carefully, she corrected herself. "That was mean, I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry." It wasn't exactly untrue, but she still shouldn't have said it. "It's just, you don't know me, so you shouldn't say things about me when you don't know me, but I shouldn't have done that either. I shouldn't have lost my temper though." There, all of that was true, and she hadn't been rude, so maybe now the prefect would just leave her in peace.

Out of Character:

No bother at all.

 

[Alana Finch]

Was the girl actually yelling at her? Alana had no younger siblings, and she sent a quick thank you to the sky for her parents’ decision to stop having children after her especially if this was how bratty children were. The Slytherin prefect went from being merely miffed by this whole interaction to being utterly offended. Yelling wasn’t a particularly large part of her childhood experience, and she certainly hadn’t had anyone yelling right in her face before. The prefect found herself doing a slow burn, her blood boiling at this young girl’s audacity. Her cheeks reddened and she gripped her hip tightly, her nails digging in. The Slytherin couldn’t believe how quickly this had all turned south. Yet, she didn’t walk away probably because she’d never been in this kind of situation before. Even her disagreements with Chaos had been more her raising her voice and him remaining aggravatingly calm, though even she had never reached the pitch that this girl had. She doubted she could anyway. Her voice was a lot deeper than the young girl’s was.

Almost as quickly as she’d fired up, the young girl calmed down seeming to come to her senses. “No, you shouldn’t have” Alana hissed out, feeling like slapping the girl or cursing her though she did neither. She didn’t even reach for her wand, not knowing what she might do if it was in her hand. “And for your information, I didn’t call you sad, but isolating yourself is” the sixteen-year-old stated, her voice betraying her barely controlled anger from spilling over. There was a difference, but of course, in her anger, the girl hadn’t heard or didn’t want to hear the distinction. “If you don’t want help, fine. Don’t accept help. But one day you are going to need help, and you probably won’t find it if this is how you treat anyone who tries to help you” Alana stated with an eye roll before straightening to her full height, which wasn’t spectacular at all, but still a bit taller than the girl. “Five points from Slytherin” Alana finished. Without another word, she stomped away to head to the common room. She still wasn’t sure if she was going to report her to Professor Styx, but she was going to speak with Ivaylo and see what he suggested.

 

[Louisa Clark]

She shouldn't have lost her temper. She'd always had to work so hard at it, not being angry. Her Dad had a temper too, but he rarely lost it, and never with her. She knew she was like him in so many ways, though she tried not to acknowledge it, but she couldn't control it like he had. Still, this girl was asking for it. She was being interfering and rude. She'd never met Louisa before today, and yet she presumed to comment on how she lived her life. Who on Earth did she think she was? Merlin, but it was a kind of arrogance to assume you could help someone with their problems, to assume you knew what was best just because of a stupid badge some idiot had awarded you. A prefect, if they were to look out for younger students, should have some sort of clue. Clearly, this blonde girl didn't. A small voice which Louisa tried hard to crush reminded her that this girl was just trying to help. She didn't know why Louisa didn't want that help. It wasn't really her fault.

"Fine." she snapped, sitting back on the ledge and swinging her legs up so that she faced the wall. What did she care if points were taken from a house she didn't care about? She opened her book, finding herself blinking rapidly. There was no reason to be upset. It was just a stupid argument with a stranger. Still, it was a hard thing for an eleven year old to realize; that even if help were offered, she wouldn't be able to accept it. Explaining her history was something she wasn't ready to do. Even if it were just to have someone to talk to about it. She couldn't concentrate on the words, and didn't want to return to the common room in case the older girl was waiting there. It was dark by the time the tiny girl climbed down from her perch, her face curiously blank as she tried her hardest to look empty, and made her way to the first year girls' dormitory.