Closed Lonely

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava just felt... lost. She missed Elio. A lot. She laid down on the couch, staring dully at the ceiling, running her fingers over the tattoo on her shoulder. She remembered going to get it with Elio. How nervous she'd been. How it had hurt, but how secure it had made her feel, thinking that a little piece of him would always be with her, how she'd be with him. But she hadn't heard anything since they'd gotten the tattoos. She had waited, she was still waiting, hoping. But she couldn't deny that little bit of her that had become convinced he'd abandoned her, too. Without really realizing it, she'd started to cry silently, her heart aching and tears slipping soundlessly down her cheeks.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader was finishing off his rounds, taking in the school and it’s hallways. He was supposed to meet up with Ava at some point but the boy hadn’t heard an official time from her, so he was also seeking her out a little. He was quickly glancing around and decided to stop by the lounge. He was a little surprised when he spotted that familiar mop of blonde hair, and it seemed like she was upset, grying. The teen approached, ”hey Ava,” he moved to sit next to her and went to move his arm around her and bring her in for a hug. ”What’s going on?” he didn’t want to further upset her, but he also wanted to make her feel little better. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava was drawn out of her thoughts when she heard the familiar voice. She sighed, turning and burrowing against him. "Zephyr." She spoke quietly, sighing, and snaking an arm around his waist. "Timmy, I haven't heard from him. Not since..." she sighed. She shook her head, cuddling into him. "I miss him," she spoke softly, sniffling.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader wasn’t too surprised that when she realised it was him she burrowed into him. He put his arms around her and listened. Elio. Vader was sure that Elio was off doing things and just busy so he didn’t have time to write. ”He’ll be fine, maybe he’s just in areas where he can’t send letters. Or he longer has an owl.” Vader tried to reassure her before sighing, ”I know, I’m sure he misses you too,” Vader said. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava sighed a little, curling up around Vader. He was always the rational one. She tried to focus on what he was saying, tried to curb her misery, but she couldn't say it was working well. "How can you believe that so easily?" she asked, sniffling and burying her face in his neck, trying to ground herself in his warmth, the familiar comfort of the way he smelled.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader sighed and shrugged, ”Well, you can’t let yourself spiral over things you can’t control…” he said. ”So it’s easier and better to just assume that things are good and fine than to not. He’ll reach out when he can and you can continue to sometimes reach out and hopefully there will be a response at some point.” he gave her a little smile. He knew it probably wasn’t the most helpful advice but it was really all he could offer her, there was little else he could say on the matter really. She just had to hope that Elio would reach out when he could. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava sighed, burying her face in Vader's neck. "But I miss him," she whispered. "Why is it that you're the only one that has never left me?" She asked, trying to stop her crying, but instead, she just ended up sobbing quietly. She buried herself into Vader, sobbing brokenly.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader didn’t know how to answer the question, there was very little way for him to do so. He had just always stuck around, he’d been at school when Ava hadn’t. He was just a solid and there was no reason. ”Why would I leave? We’re family Ava, and no matter I become from my family, I’ll never be lost to them,” he knew that he meant it, for her, but for his sisters too when he graduated if they needed him he’d drop everything for them, in the same way he would for Ava. He had never known a friendship as deep as hers and he knew that without her in his life, like last year had been would just be impossibly hard. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava sniffled, curling into Vader a little tighter. "I went to that therapist, you know. Like you said." She sniffled. "She says I have serious fears about abandonment. And that I've developed a really unhealthy way of viewing relationships." Ava laughed breathlessly, her face hidden well in Vader's neck. She supposed it made sense, really.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader nodded as she mentioned she’d been to see the therapist and couldn’t help but agree somewhat what she’d apparently told Ava. Vader knew and had grown to recognise that there was something more off about how Ava viewed their relationship, always thinking she needed to be useful. ”And what do you think?” he decided to ask, not wanting to make a comment either way on if he thought the woman was right or wrong. Wanting more to see what Ava thought. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava sighed softly. "I don't know what to think," she murmured, playing idly with Vader's hair. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I thought if I knew what was wrong I could make it better, but I... I don't know, I still just... feel really lost," She admitted, biting her lip. "My first thought was to just cut off all my relationships and shut myself off, but..." she shook her head, "I remembered how bad it was when we got in that fight, or how lonely I was when I stayed home, I don't think I could be away from you like that again."

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader nodded along as she spoke. He thought it could be good for her to speak to someone about her problems. ”I think you should keep seeing her, and then after school find someone else. Maybe they’ll over time be able to help you, help it make sense, help you figure out how to not have those problems and worries,” Vader said. ”We’ll never be in that situation again, and we’ll always be close, but I think it’s worthwhile getting to the root of the issues and working on it because, you never know what’s going to happen,” Vader said with a little shrug. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava smiled softly, finding herself calming down the more she was nestled against him. "I'll see her until we graduate," she promised softly, "Then when we settle again I'll find someone near our home," she smiled a little, burying her face in his neck. "That sounds nice. Our home," she repeated softly, smiling. "We should get something from everywhere we visit. But like, in pairs. I get you something small, you get me something small, and when we get our place we can have like a little cupboard with all of our little trinkets on display," she smiled. "And pictures too, we'll have a whole wall just for pictures," she giggled softly.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader nodded, he hoped she would continue to find that kind of thing helpful, he hadn’t given it much of a chance but the anxiety of talking to someone hadn’t really balanced back out to feeling like something he could do. The teen knew that perhaps it was just he needed to calm down and maybe it would be helped when he left school. He laughed lightly, ”Oh you think, that me, as a professional Photographer wouldn’t be taking pictures constantly?” he joked lightly, he of course agreed that they should but he thought it would be more wild for him to not be constantly taking pictures.​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava giggled, feeling a little bit better. "Well, Mr Photographer, I hope you like scrapbooking, because I'll be doing a lot of it," she sat up a bit, brushing his hair back and smiling warmly at him. "You're helping. And with the constant stream of photos we're gunna build you portfolios and scrapbooks and just have fun with it," she giggled again, shifting to lean her head on his shoulder. "We'll need a whole bookshelf just for scrapbooks by the time we find somewhere," she commented, running her fingers idly along in arm in an invisible pattern.