Lo Siento

[Indianna Lee]

Despite the fact that it was stretching close to midday over the humble abode, Indianna’s petite frame was still wrapped in the bed sheets as she curled closer into her boyfriend’s arms, trying desperately to make up for the lack of sleep she had endured last night. But her persistent efforts would not be rewarded; thoughts of the poor blonde and her stillborn baby girl plagued Indianna’s restless mind. Sympathy overwhelmed her, the unpredictability frightened her and at the very centre of her tangled emotions, the petite young woman wondered why on earth she had become so emotionally invested in the misfortune that had befallen Sam’s ex-girlfriend. You see, it wasn’t the first time she had lost sleep over the thought of Riley Mauven. At the age of sixteen she had effectively broken down Sam and Riley’s relationship when the picture perfect blonde had caught the pair in each others arms. From that gloomy day on, Indianna had always been particularly flighty around Riley. Even following their graduation, the former Ravenclaw had attempted to avoid her at all costs.

But now, the circumstances had changed beyond anyone’s belief or prediction. Squeezing her eyes closed tighter, Indianna attempted to soothe herself by listening to the slow, rhythmic pattern of her boyfriend’s breaths as if he might set some sort of example for her to follow. Yet still, Indi remained a victim of her own mind as she remembered the moment she had first been told of Riley’s “situation”. She had counted her lucky stars then; thanked whoever up there might have listened that somebody else had fallen pregnant and not her. To have been with child that soon after leaving school had seemed like the worst thing in the world all those months ago. Now she knew, it was not. And the guilt for having thought so crept over every inch of her skin. Indianna shuddered at the feeling but realised, almost instantaneously, that she needed to see the girl that had been the object of her fears for what felt like a lifetime.

Peeling herself carefully from Sam’s arms and stretching up from the bed, Indianna zipped quietly around the room; acquiring a pair of jeans and an old Ramones t-shirt before slipping into them. Her heart thudded thickly in her chest as she leant over and pressed a gentle kiss against Sam’s cheek, whispering softly to him that she would be back soon. For the briefest of moments, she considered waiting for him to awake completely so they could go together. But she quickly dismissed the thought, this was something she needed to do on her own. And at any rate, poor Riley wouldn’t need a crowd – Indianna just hoped she wouldn’t shut her out like she had the rest of her loved ones. It was a long shot, but one worth taking for the blonde’s sake. With a surprising amount of ease, Indianna apparated to Will’s apartment, the one she knew Riley was hiding herself away in. And with a deep, comforting inhale, she reached out and gingerly pressed the buzzer.

 

[Riley Mauven]

Riley could sleep forever these days, as in her dreams she often saw her daughter's face, she could count her ten perfect little pink toes and stroke the tuft of blonde hair that had graced her head. But no matter how many times she dreamt it, she always woke up to her boyfriend's empty apartment. The nineteen year old slept in until at least noon every morning, and by the time she awoke to the harsh midday sun Will was nowhere to be seen, and he wouldn't be found again until well into the night. Despite her current state the young blonde was smart enough to figure that her boyfriend had been avoiding her, that his coach really didn't ask him to train late into the night after such an early start in the morning. But there was nothing that could be done for now, Riley barely had the strength to stand lately, instead she would lay atop the covers of the bed she no longer slept with her boyfriend in and spread her pale fingers across her stomach, desperately clinging to the feeling of what it felt to have a child inside of her, something that needed her and that would love her unconditionally. But now all that lay beneath her belly button was emptiness and it seemed to resonate all through her bones, she felt so empty. Only months ago the nineteen year old had tasted the sickly sweet of the pregnancy potion and held her breath for it to have been a mistake, she had taken a few months to even break the news to her parents as she had been so ashamed for letting her mother down, as Riley and Kalani had been the result of their mother's teenage pregnancy and swore to her they would never do the same. Even though she had felt herself so unlucky to have fallen pregnant just out of school, Riley Mauven had spent almost seven months getting used to the idea, and feeling as though the new path her life had turned down was one that she would get to like, and that she would love her child with all her heart. Will and Riley's child was to have a father and a mother, more than she had had up until a month ago when Sebastien had spotted the children he never knew he had wandering the streets of Brightstone. But for now Sebastien had left Riley's life as quickly as he had entered it, Kalani had blamed him for Riley's water breaking early, and since then she hadn't heard from him, though when she had returned from the hospital the crib he had been assembling as she was rushed to Saint Mungo's was all put together in the living room of her New York apartment where she had left it.

Now as you entered Will's Paris apartment it was rife with signs that Beth Connors was not dead, she was simply sleeping. Despite her boyfriend's best efforts Riley had not allowed him to remove any of the baby things from the apartment, and now it seemed that the home served not as a living place but as a shrine to the dead baby's memory and her mother's depression that went with it. The coffee table in the living room was still covered in baby shower gifts, their pink ribbons and floral wrapping papers collecting dust, but still in perfect position, untouched by all but Riley's fingers which she often ran across the gifts in times of her greatest despair. The whole apartment seemed to be gathering dust too, as Riley hadn't left it since she had taken up hiding inside of it, the dust only became unsettled with the quiet coming and going of her boyfriend early each morning and late each night. Perhaps the most lived in room of the place had become the nursery that had been set up in the spare bedroom and hurriedly painted a pastel pink in anticipation of a baby's arrival that never came. Often Will would come home to find Riley laying on the floor across the front of the crib Sebastien had assembled as if she were protecting an infant that could be seen only by her eyes, wet with tears of desperation. Though she knew her daughter dead the nineteen year old would frequent the small room and seat herself in the wooden rocking chair, wrapping her petite frame amongst the comfort of a pink baby blanket and the smell of powders and unused nappies. She felt safe there, felt as though if she stayed long enough her stillborn daughter would appear, quite alive. Lately Riley Mauven had believed in anything that would bring her daughter home to her. That morning she had awoken cold and still in the pajamas she had worn for at least two weeks straight and the blonde had run her fingers through her hair and made her way to the nursery, seeking comfort once more in the rocking chair.

Since she had left the hospital Riley had shut out everyone she could, everyone bar Will, who she had not much choice with as she was living in his apartment. Despite the fact that he had been through exactly what she had, she felt a nagging resentment towards him, for with her pregnancy she had lost everything, including her Quidditch career, it was like a knife in her back to see her boyfriend go off to be with his Quidditch team each day, something that she didn't know she would ever be able to do again. Now, each day she stayed at home instead of training, listening to the doorbell ring and her family and friends call out to her to answer it. But she didn't seem to hear them, or didn't want to. It was far too painful for her to face the people that had succumbed the disappointment she had become, but this time as the doorbell buzzed nobody called out to her or begged to be seen, so the blonde became rather intrigued, and made her way to the apartment door, peeping through the small eye hole before drawing back in shock. The last person she had expected to see was the Latina girl that she had avoided ever since she had broken the relationship between Riley and her ex-boyfriend Sam. Indianna Lee was standing on her doorstep, and Riley had no idea how she could have discovered that she was there, but despite the anger she felt towards the dark haired girl Riley found herself removing the latch from the door and opening it for the first time in a month. "What are you doing here?" she questioned Indianna, as far as she knew the pair hated each other, had things really changed so greatly? Throwing all caution to the wind Riley welcomed the girl in, she was one of the only people who hadn't been involved in her pregnancy and plagued with memories of it, and the nineteen year old could use some interaction with someone other than her boyfriend, so she sat down on the couch in front of the table of unopened baby gifts and waited for her guest to follow. "I'm sorry about the mess." she said timidly, noticing a few of Will's things atop the kitchen counter and a half eaten sandwich that somebody had grown too sad to finish.