Leave Me Alone

[Lucien Snow]

Hours ago, Avie Mitchell's death was announced, and Lucien Snow managed to lock himself away by finding the deepest, darkest abandoned classroom in the dungeons he could find in order to stay away from people. In his hand rested Avie's wand he retrieved from the lake bed. It took ages to find it, but he felt that Avie should at least be buried with it. But he did not want to see his body. The last image he had was of Avie being dead. The last thing he wanted was another reminder. He put the wand to the side, as he was sitting on the desk. He reached over and held a rock that Avie found. He shouted in French, "You bloody idiot!" He threw the rock against the wall with force, but not enough to break it. Lucien looked down and shook his head. How could Avie leave him? His closest friend.
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[Jean Snow]

Jean had been searching the castle for hours, glad to have a task to occupy his mind from thinking about Avie. He'd ignored the students who knew that something had happened because of the castle's commotion but didn't quite know what, though it annoyed him at how eager some of them seemed to be about knowing. The Head Boy was getting really worried that he hadn't been able to find his brother anywhere. He'd been working from the top down, and as he reached the dungeon, Jean realized he should have started there and would have had his mind been right.

Taking another turn, even deeper into the dungeon, Jean heard his brother and tried the door that he thought the sound had come from. Locked. Jean had his wand with him, but he didn't want to just barge in. Lucien was bound to shoot a curse at whoever did, and he'd be no help if that happened. Jean knocked. "It's Jean, Luc. Let me in" he stated softly in French, his face close to the space where the door met the wall, hoping that would be enough to get Lucien to open the door.

 

[Lucien Snow]

Lucien felt as though he could not breathe. Every cell in him wanted to explode. This was the worst day of his life. How could he ever play Quidditch without him? Lucien stared at the wall, still envisioning what happened. Avie was dead. There was nothing that could be done. Even his crush on Runa was gone right now. Lucien looked toward the door as someone knocked. He narrowed his eyes before he heard a voice. He knew that one. Jean. Lucien waved his wand, muttering the spell. The door opened. He didn't look nor did he get up. He spoke in his native tongue, "What do you want." Lucien was in no mood to speak. He just wanted silence. And Avie back.
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[Jean Snow]

Jean heard the click of the lock and wasted no time in stepping into a room that was darker even then the hallway. He stumbled in, not using his wand to light the way. If Lucien had wanted light, there would be some. Hearing his brother's words, Jean shrugged his shoulders, banging into a desk, hissing a curse as he slid onto it. "I wanted to check on you" he replied in French to the oldest of the quads. He and Lucien might have their differences, but he still loved him deeply, and he knew that he was hurting. They all were, but he knew that Lucien had to really be feeling it. He'd learned from one of the nurses that it was Lucien who had brought Avie into the castle.

 

[Lucien Snow]

Lucien didn't react, smirk or laugh when Jean managed to hit a desk. Lucien folded his hands together and looked down in the dark. He closed his eyes and lied bluntly, "I'm fine." Lucien didn't know what to do, to say. He was the one that found him. He was the last one that saw Avie alive, and the first to have found him. He sighed, "What should I even say. What I should even feel. I don't know what you want me to say." Internally, he was raging. He was remaining calm because he didn't want to show his emotions. Yet, this was his other half. Some might have said that Lucien was closer to Avie than Jean. Lucien reached and held another rock, rolling it within his fingers. He uttered, his voicing growing with intensity with each word, "He dove under for this. This f**king rock!" Lucien threw it at the wall, before it bounced off the wall and tumbled to the floor.
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[Jean Snow]

"Bulls**t" was his immediate response to his brother when he declared himself fine. Jean and Lucien both walked around as if they were cold-hearted, but when it came to their mates those icicles chipped away. It wasn't long before Lucien was talking again, finally letting out some of what he was feeling. Jean knew that it wasn't fair to impose his own sadness on his Slytherin brother, but he didn't want him to hold everything in. That would be bad for Lucien, and everyone else further down the line. So, he didn't respond. If Lucien wanted to take out his anger on Jean, it was definitely better than taking it out on anyone else or having his brother do something dangerous enough in his distress that he got hurt or expelled. "I didn't know. I just heard you brought him in. The nurse told me" Jean whispered, still in French, as he closed his own eyes, realizing what must have happened. It was confusing though because, though he wasn't good at school stuff, Jean knew Avie'd mastered the Bubble Head Charm. He'd bragged about it during their patrols. "This sucks."

 

[Runa Alridge]

Runa wasn't quite sure what made her seek Lucien out once she heard the news. A part of her understood the pain he might be feeling, she remembered the feeling quite well the day she learned that her biological parents had abandoned her. The feeling of knowing she wasn't wanted made her feel angry, and yet sad. The other part of Runa recognized that even if Lucien could be a complete ass at times, he was still human and this was likely to hurt him. After questioning a couple of students in her year on Lucien's whereabouts, she thanked them curtly before heading down towards the dungeons. It didn't take her long to find where he was at. The sound of voices and something being thrown easily gave his location away. There was another voice inside, which Runa assumed to be Jean. Out of all the Snow siblings, Runa had always found Jean to be the most decent. Upon entering the room and closing the door behind her softly, Runa made sure to be as calm and careful as possible. Lucien could be capable of doing and saying a lot of things he didn't mean in this state. Nodding towards Jean, Runa found a seat nearby, but not too close as to overcrowd Lucien.

"I'm not going to ask if you're okay because I'm sure you're not, so how are you feeling?" Runa questioned? She had always hated it when others asked her if she was okay when something tragic happened. Of course no one was ever okay, some were just better at bottling it up. Lucien didn't need to bottle this up. Once he let everything lose, he was likely to be able to move on more easily. Runa had found Avie to be an odd and impulsive young man, but he was important to Lucien so he needed his time to grieve properly. ​

 

[Lucien Snow]

The nurse only told Jean that he brought him in. No one knew the complete story except him. No one had seen it with their own eyes except Lucien. He just hoped that no one would bother him about it. As soon as he was about to reply to Jean, someone else came him. Lucien made a grab for his wand, but stopped when he heard the voice. It was Runa. The person he managed to stop being mean to, but merely flirt with. And banter. She was the last person that he expected. He figured that it would have been Esme. She asked how he was feeling. He groaned, before uttering, "I am going to hear that a lot for a while. And I'll always say the same thing. I'm fine." He had switched to English so that Runa would be able to understand his words. He placed his hands to his head, before finally letting go, "I tried to wake him up. CPR, nothing. If I wasn't so damn grossed out by what lived in that lake I would have been able to save him!" Lucien stood up, and walked toward the stone wall, before letting all his anger he could muster into one punch, not seeing the damage it did to his hand, or the wall. The pain almost numbed the mental pain he was feeling. He sank to the floor and sighed, "Avie was like a brother to me. I swear Jean, if you make me feel this way," tears finally started to form, "I'll bring you back to life one way or another and kick your sorry ass." Lucien turned to face Runa, wherever she was. He didn't know why she cared, but he honestly wanted someone to actually hold him, just like he held Avie when Avie's mother died. That sense of comfort. But pride wouldn't let him. He shrank in toward the wall, and just stared as the tears rolled endlessly.
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[Jean Snow]

Jean's hand had gone to his wand when he heard the door being opened. He scowled as he saw who it was. The last time he'd seen the two of them in the same space, they'd been at each other. Jean wasn't sure if it was because they disliked each other or not, but Lucien certainly didn't need that right now. "If you want her to go, let me know" Jean responded, still speaking in French and looking in the general direction of his brother. Lucien seemed ok with her being there though because he cotinued on, speaking about what had happened. Jean listened in utter silence, not even being able to fathom what his brother had gone through. He winced as he heard his brother punch the wall, but he still didn't say anything knowing that Lucien needed to let his feelings out one way or another. Avie was dead. Jean had already let his tears flow and knew he would again, but right now there were no tears. His eyes felt like they couldn't produce any more just yet.

Hearing his brother sit back down again, Jean shook his head. "I'm not dying any time soon" he stated firmly, still stuck in his belief that they were all invincible even as he'd just learned in the worst way possible that they were not. "This wasn't your fault, Luc" he continued in French, trying to get through to his brother, his voice breaking at the words. He looked over at Runa, hoping that his initial thoughts about her, what he'd teased Lucien about at their birthday party was true, and that they liked each other. Lucien needed that now. "You better be here to help because, if you're not, I will curse you" Jean stated quietly to the girl, finally speaking in English for the first time. He didn't know her well, but he'd liked her spunkiness. But, if she didn't treat Lucien right, especially now, he'd make sure her life was hell for the last few months he was in this school.

 

[Runa Alridge]

Runa had a difficult time understanding the entire conversation between the two brothers as she didn't speak French at all. Some words in French were somewhat similar to English or Latin terms. That still didn't make it easy for her to understand what Jean was saying. Runa had winced when Lucien actually hit the wall. That couldn't have been good. "At least he's letting his feelings out." Runa thought to herself, letting her eyes scan his hand for obvious injuries. Once he had calmed down a little they could take him to the hospital wing. Runa didn't believe that he was fine though. People who were 'fine' didn't go around punching walls. Lucien began to describe a bit what happened. That he had tried to save him but nothing had helped. Lucien had also mentioned something about being grossed out about what lived in the lake being what kept Lucien from helping Avie in time. Runa had several things she wanted to say in regards to that whole notion, but felt it wasn't the time. Lucien was in a fragile state and the last thing he needed was someone bring up fragile topics. When Runa saw Lucien's tears she immediately made a move to get up, however Jean's words stopped her. Raising an eyebrow she snorted softly. He must not be very used to seeing kindness come from others.

"I know you come from a very sadistic family, but not everyone likes to see other people in pain. I wouldn't waste my time coming down here if I wasn't worried for your brother's well-being to some degree Jean." Runa shot began before removing herself from the place she had seated herself during Lucien's breakdown. Although Runa wanted to hug Lucien, she was sort of worried he'd punch her and she'd go flying across the room. "Let me see your hand." Making sure he knew she was approaching him she spoke softly. Stepping forward, she hesitantly took his hand, the one he had hit the wall with and held it with her own. Some of his knuckles were bleeding for the force he put on them during the punch. Runa pulled a tissue from one of her pockets and began to delicately wipe away the blood. Runa almost went up to wipe away his tears but paused mid-way. Once again she didn't want to overstep her boundaries. "When I first found out I was adopted-that my mom and had left me for dead.....I didn't want to admit that I was not okay. I understand, you want to be strong. You're prideful. You say you're okay, but I know you're not. Your brother knows your not." Runa quickly glanced at Jean, wondering if he felt she was helping or not. "It's okay to feel sad, but you did everything you could. It wasn't your fault and I'm sure Avie wouldn't like to see you beating yourself up." Runa finished wiping away what blood she could before she held the tissue to his hand to try and keep it from bleeding more. Lucien was a mess, and he had every reason to be. Runa just wished she were better at comforting others. Most of the time she was better at keeping to herself. One less person to abandon her in the end. ​

 

[Lucien Snow]

His hand was absolutely on fire. He didn't even say anything to his brother about Runa. A part of him wanted her to go. Another part wanted her to stay. Especially as she doctored his hand. He peered up toward her head as she revealed her past. Why now? It was not like they could possibly be compared. Both said it was not his fault but it did not erase the feeling. Nothing could but time. Maybe it was his time to go. As long as he did not lose anyone else. Lucien didn't even know how to make friends. Esme was easy. Avie just never left him alone. That was how they became friends. Despite the pain, he latched onto Runa's hand, seekig comfort. Lucien uttered, "I can't bear it. I don't know how to have someone love me unconditionally like Avie did. I held him when his mother died. I held him for hours. I never imagined that I would feel the same as he did." Lucien wanted to crawl into a ball but his pride held on. He didn't say anything to either of them about their spat. He wanted to focus on his fallen friend. He leaned onto Runa's shoulder before closing his eyes. He was vulnerable. And he hated it.
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[Runa Alridge]

Runa nearly tensed when Lucien leaned his head on her shoulder. She relaxed after a moment and wrapped her arm around him. When he stated that he didn't know how to have someone unconditionally love him like Avie did, Runa bit her lip. As much as she wanted to respond me too, she knew that it wasn't what Lucien needed right now. "Maybe one day you will find someone. Maybe being friends with Avie was supposed to teach you how to open up to others a little bit?" Runa had a hard time imagining what it felt like to lose a friend as she had never really had any. Nor had she ever felt particularly wanted by anyone either. Runa was alone for the most part, so the feeling of friendship was almost foreign to her. Runa never imagined seeing Lucien be emotional, he seemed like he was immune to it. In the end, he was still human though, and right now he was probably feeling more emotions than he could handle. Runa pitied him.
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[Jean Snow]

Jean raised his eyebrow at her words, but as it was dark, he was sure she didn't see. "Watch it." Today, with how upset he was, he wasn't appreciating her sass and he let out a small growl. Any other day, it might have amused him but not today. If she helped his brother, then he might forgive her attitude today, but if she didn't, Jean wasn't sure he'd be able to refrain from cursing her. He was willing to take his chances that grieving and being Head Boy would get him a pass if he ended up cursing her. The teenager remained in place, unable to stop himself from hearing the conversation and not wanting to. He needed to make sure his brother was ok even if he didn't exactly know how to help him. Runa's words sounded nice, they sounded right, and they got Lucien talking again which was good. Of this, Jean was sure.

The shift in the conversation brought tears to Jean's eyes again, and he found himself pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing at the corners of his eyes. On top of this recent tragedy, there was still the whole incident with Theodore hanging over his head. Hearing all this talk about love and finding someone had hit a nerve, though there was no way that either Lucien or Runa could realize. Jean felt like he was in the middle of an intimate conversation, and he wondered what was going on between Lucien and Runa. He'd teased his brother about liking her before, but perhaps there was more to it than he'd realized? He had no idea. "This isn't fair" he muttered, hating that something this terrible had happened to someone that meant something to all of them.