Leah and Alexis

[Alexis Richarde]

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[Leah Bennet]

Leah pressed her weary back against the wall of her bedroom with a frozen stature, dependant on the structure to keep her upright. Her delicate features remained unmoving, her azure blue eyes were wide, unblinking and glassed with fear. There was no hint of movement on her paled expression but a fragile tremble in her lower lip as it jutted out in melancholy. The sterile smell of the abortion clinic was all about her, still lingering hauntedly on the collar of her shirt like a potent perfume, even though she had barely made it through the doors. This could not be happening to her. Finally she had caught a break, had met a man that she had allowed herself to relax around and had thought that she mightn't need to stress so feverently anymore. But once again her whole world had come crumbling down around her again and right now she did not no how she'd ever be able to build it up again.

A silent teardrop streaked down Leah's cheek, staining a path where the black mascara had run from the moisture and opening the flood gates up to a river of tears. Without warning she slid down the wall and sat huddled in a fetal position on the ground. Her shoulders shook violently with each sob that tore through her petite body, her makeup now falling in streams down her cheeks as the tears continued to spill mercilessly from her eyes. She could not be a mother again, she wasn't ready to go through it all again, especially not when her life was just beginning to piece back together. But Leah, in all of fear, simply could not bring herself to rid the baby from her body. She had tried and now it was out of the question.

It was too big of a burden not to tell anyone. Her first thought was Keith, he was the father after all, but Leah dismissed immediately. She was barely ready to accept the truth herself, let alone convey it to him whilst trying to brace herself for complete and total abadonment. Next was Izaak but he too was not a possibility at the moment. Selflessly Leah told herself that her brother had his own problems and did not need a plateful of hers right now. But she was returned with a sliver of reassurance when Alexis came to mind. The girl was a practically her sister and right now was the only person Leah could even think of sharing her shocking news with. So once her reckless sobs had decreased enough so that she could pen words in her still shaking grip, Leah began to write out a tear-stained letter.

Alexis,

I'm about to tell you something really, really big but Izaak can't know, not yet anyway. So please, please don't tell him. Promise?

I'm pregnant. I don't know exactly how many weeks I am. But oh my god. I went to the abortion clinic this morning and I barely made it through the door. I just couldn't do it Alexis, I wish I could, I wish I had the resolve that you do. But I don't.

I don't know what to do, I can't stop crying. Just when things were beginning to look up and it all falls back down again. Why? Why me?

You have no idea how much I wish you were here. I need you. Bad.

Love always,
Leah

With trembling hands, she folded the blotched letter into thirds, slid it into an envelope and attached it to the leg of an owl that she was now thanking God that she had thought of buying. Once it had its sense of direction, the broken young woman collapsed onto her bed and curled into the sheets, crying herself into a restless sleep.

 

[Alexis Richarde]

Alexis snatched the letter from the owls beak as it landed on her bed before her university applications that were all being filled out magically with self-writing quills. She read it quickly and curiously, her mouth falling open in pure shock at Leah's news. For a moment she stayed silent and did not move at all an inch. She chewed down on her lip with fear once she actually was processing her thoughts, why was everyone become pregnant? How could they do this so young and why didn't they have any sense?

It was painful to imagine loosing her entire future to being pregnant at eighteen and she could only imagine what her best friend had gone through five years ago and now, well it was probably the same. Alexis needed to be there for Leah but she had to graduate, to get out of this hell for once so she could go on with her life so she would not end up like the girl that was most like her sister.

It took her a long moment to compose her thoughts, to grab the quill and to write Leah Finch a letter back. She slowly scripted the letters out, trying to be sure of her words and make sure that they were readable because she, like Leah probably was, was nervous and shaky.

Leah, I don't know if I can keep this from Izaak. I hate lying to him so you best tell him soon because I will promise you that until you do tell him, which better be soon missy.

Don't worry, I understand that you can't have an abortion. I'll be there to help you, I promise. It'll be okay. Have you told the father? Do I know him? Oh sweetie, you messed up bad. I will be out of school soon, don't worry, just four more months. Are you going to tell the father? You really should, I know I would want to know.

Leah, things will be alright. If you really want not have the baby, you could give it up to adoption. I know that there will be a lot of people that would love to have a child you don't want to have. I promise it'll be okay, whether you keep the baby or not, but if you want to keep it I will help you and you know Izaak will. I'll be out of school next month for a break. I am going to see you, whether you like it or not, because I need to see you too. I miss you and well you need me (modest aren't I?)

Love you,
Alexis.

PS. Stay strong, Jay is probably worried out of his mind for you.

Alexis sighed and sent the letter back with the small barn owl before leaning back onto her bed. I will not be having sex again for a while, she thought as she imagined herself and Izaak in the future with what she imagined to be the worst possible thing to happen. A family, with the parents only in their mid thirties with a woman that was both nursing and pregnant at the same time with five little tikes running around a messy home with books being ripped apart by Kobe.

She strawberry blonde shuddered heavily, convulsing on her bed as her thoughts pressed further on with such horrid thoughts. Alexis did eventually want a family but, not if it meant she had to give up her dreams and hopes. She looked over at Kiera's bed and shook her head, the girl was eighteen and married. How could people do such things to themselves?

 

[Leah Bennet]

It had been four days since Leah had taken her little brother under her wing after he had turned up on her front porch with a box full of his personal belongings in his arms and a crack right down the middle of his heart. For four whole days and counting he had sulked in his old bedroom which perhaps now would become his again judging the news he had had to share with her. Leah knew that some rocky shores had been landed upon in his and Alexis’ relationship but she had always thought they’d battle on through like they had so often before, especially after Izaak had flashed her the promise ring he had gotten her. Those two were had been bound together by some incredible tie of strength, one that Leah had always been secretly envious of but there was little to show for it anymore.

A dull ache of emptiness had filled the young woman’s stomach, feeling as if she had lost a sister which, in virtual terms, she really had. Sure she would still see Alexis, and write to her whilst she carried out her studies in Oxford but it wouldn’t be the same without the two of them together and she feared it never would be again. Exhaling a bitter sigh, Leah picked up a pen and began scripting her poor friend a letter.

Oh sweetie,

How are you holding up? I am so, so sorry. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through right now, I wish I could be there for you. No, I wish this didn’t have to end like this. If you don’t want to talk I completely understand but I’m all ears otherwise. You’re both scaring me to death. Are you sure this is what you want? Or is what’s right?

I love you, remember that
Leah x

P.S- I don’t know if anyone’s told you yet, but Isabella lost the baby the same day…

Leah sighed once more and folded the letter into thirds before placing it inside an envelope and sending it on its way. After being rid of pen and paper, Leah’s hands curled right over the growing swell in her stomach. Hearing about Cassie’s death had shook some heart into the young woman and she realised that she was taking the tiny miracle growing inside of her for granted. She’d let Keith know, she made a mental note to owl him once hers had returned and she’d try and raise her baby to the very best of her ability; lots and lots of TLC.

blergh.

 

[Alexis Richarde]

Alexis had refused to read any mail that had come from her parents or anyone from that matter for the past few days. She just shut herself in her dorm room and blasted sad songs, mainly With or Without You, on her enchanted iPod. She wasn't eating or sleeping, Kiera had attempted to get her to but it was no use because she was so heart broken that she didn't feel like she truly needed to eat or sleep anymore, not with the loss of Izaak Finch.

And with the arrival of another letter, Alexis shoved it off but she saw that it was from Leah so she scrambled to pick it up and read it. Tears began building up in the corners of her eyes as she read the word end. And with a shaky hand she picked up a pen and tried to write back to Leah with as much precision as her shaky, sad fingers could bring.

I'm not holding up, Leah, I miss him so much. Your stupid brother is so easy to love and I hate him for it. Now I'm in the worst pain of my life, this is even worse then loosing Julia. I don't know how I'm going to move out, you have to help me Leah. Please, I can't go there alone, it'll be so hard to think of what I gave up for her to have him. This is what is right, I didn't want to watch our relationship slowly break apart anymore. If he hasn't already moved on, he will see why I had to end it.

I love you too, Leah. I'm going to miss you so much, please let me know if things with Bella get any better.
Alexis.

PS. Is Izaak okay? Watch over him, I don't want him doing anything stupid. And don't let him know of my concern. I'd rather not want him knowing that I still love him and care because he could get me back in a second if he really wanted to.

A strong wave of guilt washed over Alexis as she thought back to two days ago when she had wished for Isabella and Cassie to be dead and gone. But she sent the letter off and curled herself further into the sea of blankets and a large sweater that smelled of her ex-lover.

 

[Leah Bennet]

Leah sat perched atop the kitchen counter, staring at the door of Izaak’s bedroom from across the hall. It was closed, just like every other piece of him was at the moment. And really, who could blame him? He had had an atrocious weekend between all that had happened with Alexis and then Isabella and Cassie. But he was truly beginning to worry her; he had not spoken, he had barely eaten and he hadn’t even shown any initiative to head down to the beach. For nineteen years she had been witness to each and every one of his moods and above all, a silent, inactive Izaak was definitely something to worry about.

Her azure eyes traced down along the counter and caught on the picture Jay had brought home from school today when he had been asked to draw a picture of his family. Seeing it had brought tears to her eyes, as to the right of Leah and Izaak he had drawn a figure in a bright red dress labelled as ‘Alexis’. It was definitely her too as he had used an orange pen for her hair. And he had even texta-ed in a black and white Kobe down the bottom. Leah hadn’t had the heart to try and explain to him what had happened between the couple, nor had she thought Izaak would tell him in his current mood. So she had let it lie for now and guarded the picture with her life, knowing that it would kill Izaak to see it.

Leah had been tracing her fingertips gently over the bold lines of the artwork Jay was so proud of as he and Kobe sat huddled up on the couch with the afternoon cartoons blaring over the television set when the owl flew through the window and returned her with another letter. She read it over, unable to comprehend her friend’s heartbreak as she had never been in such a deep relationship before but trying her very best to understand. Taking the picture and a pen and pad of paper, she walked over to the couch and settled down beside her son and Kobe.

I’ll help you sweetie I promise, and with anything else you need too, all you have to do is ask. And do you seriously think Izaak’s moved on already? Alexis, he’s never going to get over you. What’s it been, a year almost? Never before has he been in such a long relationship. I’m sure he was beginning to convince himself that you were for keeps.

Honestly, no, he’s not okay at all. He hasn’t been out of his room for four days. He hasn’t spoken, or eaten, or gone down to the beach. All he’s done is sleep. You know Izaak almost as well as me Alexis, and that’s not him. He’s gutted, hun… Losing Cassie and you in one weekend? It’s taking it’s toll and he’s really scaring me.

Stay safe and hang tight, I’ll see you at graduation,
Leah xxx

Leah looked down at the drawing in her hands and was instantly graced with a thought. “Jay, can I send this to ‘Lexis?” The little blonde, curly haired boy nodded with a smile at his mother’s words without even dragging his innocent blue eyes away from the television screen.

PS- Jay drew this at school today, I know it’s probably the last thing you want to see but I thought you should have it anyway. I think he’s really missing you.

It was then that she noticed the Kobe was gnawing on the corner of the letter. Leah could not help but laugh a little as she remembered that Izaak had warned her about his fettish for chewing.

PPS- Kobe misses you as well

With a longing sigh, Leah folded the drawing with ‘My Family’ scrawled across the top into the letter and sent it on its way. Her azure eyes flitted once more to Izaak’s door and knew that she’d have to rouse him from his reserved mood sooner or later or he might just fall too far into it. “Jay, sweetie, do you and Kobes wanna go wake up Izaak?” Jay nodded enthusiastically, grateful for the permission when he had been told not to bother his uncle for the past few days, and bounced off with the Border Collie by his side.

 

[Alexis Richarde]

Alexis looked over at the picture frame that contained her favorite photograph in the world, and picked it up, hugging it to her chest as if pushing it to her heart could bring her back to the happier moments. But there was no way she could go back to that day on the beach with Izaak or that winter like she desperately wanted to. She pulled it away and looked at the way Izaak was glancing down at her with such love. Only now had she realized the way their hands were linked together so tightly, as if they were holding onto each other like their lives depended on it. Had it always been that way?

Her thoughts were thankfully cut off by the dropping of a letter on her lap. Alexis sat up and opened the letter, taking out one paper and unfolding it she saw that it was a rather primal looking picture only a young child could have drawn. It took her a second to realize that this was Jay's depiction of his family but when she had, she began crying full on. She so wanted to be a part of this little boy's family and especially Izaak's. She wanted nothing more then to be his lover and eventually his wife but now that was over, she couldn't rightfully imagine standing at a modest isle with Izaak and being named as man and wife like she truly wanted to.

Alexis put the picture face down, took the letter out and with a heavy heart she read Leah's words about Izaak. She was so relieved that Izaak was feeling the same way she was about this although she didn't like that he was in pain. She just would not be happy if after a year he began dating Isabella, actually she would never like it, she had meant it when she said that she promised Izaak that she would always love him.

Thank you Leah, it means a lot to me. I thought that I might loose you too, I don't think I could handle loosing Izaak and both you and Bella. And I don't know, if Izaak actually did feel something for her but I can't cross that option off, I mean you should have seen his expression when she saw us together. Well Leah, Izaak and I did talk about eventually getting married and having our own children, so yes we both thought that about each other.

Things will get better, let him wollow, trust me that is what he needs. Soon he will return to the beach and start socializing with you and Jay. By the way, I miss Jay too, love the little bugger and how did I know that you haven't told Jay yet?

Yours,
Alexis Richarde.

As Alexis was about to finish off the letter, a thought hit her about Leah's baby who she knew Leah would learn to love even if she was generally upset about having another child, she just hoped that this baby would have a better fate then Cassie.

PS. How is your baby?

Sending the letter off with Zeus, Alexis sighed and looked back at the picture sadly.

 

[Leah Bennet]

Whilst basking in the rare silence of her household, Leah had not noticed that it had been a good twenty minutes since she had asked her son to wake Izaak up. After flicking boredly through the daytime television ‘entertainment’, if it could even be called that, she was suddenly reminded of the mission she had sent Jay on. Rising curiously from the couch, the doe-eyed woman all but tip-toed over to the door of Izaak’s bedroom and noticed that it now hung slightly ajar, previewing the intruder with a sliver of darkness. Not wanting to disturb any of the three, Leah pushed it open just that little bit further to allow more light to stream in and slice through the shadows. Once her azure eyes were set fixed to the scene, she was sure she could feel her heart melting inside of her chair. Sure enough there Jay was, lying face down on Izaak’s back, fast asleep. One tiny fist was curled around the top of Izaak’s ear as if to prove that he was still attempting to fulfil the task his mother had given him whilst he was obviously just falling asleep on the job.

But after taking in the sight for a few moments longer, Leah gently clicked the door shut and returned to the boorish company of the television set. Izaak would be a wonderful father someday, even if he did doubt himself beyond reason. Even now at nineteen with all the mistakes he had yet to clear up, Cassie would have been blessed to have Izaak, just as he would have been to have her. Leah slicked her palms across her stomach like she had been doing so much more often now, before thinking to herself with a smile. Perhaps things won’t be half bad after all. As Alexis’ owl returned she found herself wishing impossibly that the two would miraculously smooth things over and get back on the path that had been on not so long ago, the path that ensured her a most beautiful sister-in-law at the end of it.

Hey, just because Izaak’s our brother doesn’t mean you’re going to lose us, okay? I’m speaking for the both of us when I say that we love you too much to let you go. It doesn’t matter how hard it might seem, I know one things for sure- our friendship isn’t ending here. And if you want my honest opinion, not that I guess you can see it happening now or anything, but your’s and Izaak’s won’t either. You two have too much history, and too many fun times to try to move on as if you’d never even met each other before. Just give it time sweetie.

Well I can’t say I didn’t see that one coming. Just for the record, you two will would have made the most amazing parents. But anyway, you’re welcome for the picture. Jay was so proud of it when he came home from school today, I just didn’t have the heart to explain it to him (yes, yes I know, you know me so well, haha). But really, how is a five year old supposed to understand what happened? You’ll have to come see us after your graduation too, when Izaak’s at work or something if that makes you more comfortable. Jay will be devastated otherwise.

Oh and before I forget, congratulations on getting into Oxford! I hope it’s all that you dreamt it to be Alexis, you deserve it after all.

Love, love, love,
Leah

PS- Baby is great, I’m a little better. I think it’s going to be okay now. Except I still have to tell the father…

With her mood now uplifted and her heart a little lighter after scripting out the last few paragraphs of her letter, Leah sent it on her way with Alexis’ owl and smoothed circles over her swollen abdomen with a smile. “It will be okay, won’t it?” She breathed with relief as she spoke soothingly to the baby growing inside of her.

 

[Alexis Richarde]

Alexis sighed, all she wanted was to be at home with Izaak and for things to be back to normal. She hated that things would never return to the way they were and that she was all by herself. She didn't have the opportunity to go see her parents and her brother like she wanted to, instead she had to fight through her loneliness all by herself. Maybe she would go find Zaire and talk to him, so she still had some speck of her normal life back but shaking that off when her stomach cringed with disgust in herself, for making it seem like she was already moving on when she honestly wasn't, at the moment she couldn't see how that was possible at all. Which was why when she received Leah's letter she disagreed with what she felt about becoming Izaak's friend after all of this.

Oh Leah, as much as I'd love to be Izaak's friend I can't. It is too complicated, I love him too much to stay broken up with him while seeing him all the time. I'm glad that we can still see each other though.

That may be but it is just dust in the wind now. No, I understand. I'd rather not upset Jay and make things even more difficult for you then they must be. That sounds great, I'd love to visit you and Jay after graduation, can you still make it though? I hope you can but if not I can always invite my sister-in-law.

Thanks Leah, I can't wait to get out of New Zealand and this school. When I'm all settled in you should bring Jay and your little one to visit. Whois the father? You never told me and I'm getting really curious as to who it might be.

Miss you,
Alexis.

Alexis sent the letter off and took out a fresh piece of parchment to write Zaire Adams a letter that was long overdue, but not proclaiming her feelings for him, simply a letter that asked how he was, wishing him a late Merry Christmas, belated birthday wishes and an apology for being so hypocritical.

 

[Leah Bennet]

It’s horrible to think about Alexis. I mean we three used to have the best times together. I know we can do it without Izaak and don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful that I’m not losing you, but it’s sad that it’ll never be the same again. I’m really going to miss it.

I don’t know how I’m ever going to break it to him, he loves you to death, you know that? Let alone ever having him understand. He’s not there yet, he’s never really had to be. I’ve got the relationship span of a teaspoon and so did Izaak until Kasey. She was a sweetheart and I mean, he got pretty cosy with her around but it was nothing compared to this with you.

And of course I can still make it! Like I’m ever going to miss out on my little sister’s graduation! Baby or not I’m going. And I’ll take you up on that too. I’m so happy you got what you wanted, Oxford is definitely something to be proud about sweetie.

You’re seriously going to freak when I tell you who it is. Oh god. Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you... His name’s Keith Mercer. You know, he teaches potions at your school? The fact that he might be one of your professors makes me feel like a right wh*re. He’s sweet though... And damned sexy. But I don’t want to know what he’ll do when he finds out.

Love always,
Leah

sorry it’s rushed, i’m off to a party

 

[Alexis Richarde]

Could we please stop talking about Izaak? I'd really love it if we could.

Great! I miss you so much Leah and you get to meet my brother and maybe his wife (you'll love them!). I'm not 100% on how many people we can bring, we haven't really been told yet but I'm couting down the bloody days. Oh I'm proud that I got in, don't you worry, I can't wait to get there. I get to be back in England, which has been my home since I was ten, dorm with my friends and just go onto the life I wanted for a long time. Biochemistry and Classical English here I come! Ha.

Are you serious? Professor Mercer is the father! I mean he's sexy, but he is so much older than you. He is not my Professor, only the first to fourth years but do you know he has children? I've seen them around school, they look so much like him! Anyway, if he does anything to you when you tell him, let me know, okay?

Shocked and slightly disturbed,
Alexis.

No worry. Right now I'm just being lazy.