Closed Its The End

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas had never felt so ashamed. He wanted to blame Dominic, he really did. Dominic had built up his confidence, helped him practice, made him believe he had a chance. Lucas ran into the dorms with tears already soaking his face. He was worthless, he had always been worthless, he had been stupid to think otherwise. He practically dove under the bed, shaking, his body wracked with silent sobs. He had worried about Adam being the captain, but even with Eli as a co-captain, Lucas knew he would never be let back onto the team. He wasn't enough. He was never enough. Lucas curled in on himself, tangling his hands in his hair and crying through his broken heart.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar was surprised by how his emotions raged after quidditch, he had never really expected Dominic to pick the two worst possible people to take over. He’d even assured Lucas it wasn’t possible, there were other people who’d have suited the role far better and he didn’t mean himself, but others, literally anyone else would’ve been better. Einar was heading inside, knowing where Lucas would’ve probably gone. Einar wasn’t sure he wanted to continue with quidditch, quidditch had always helped him feel close to his mom, and he didn’t need that any more, so much time had passed and being close to his mom just hurt. He was definitely over it, and over having to handle any emotions to do with it. It would help him not have to interact with others and he could just focus on himself, his art had really been forgotten between the practices. He knew his therapist wouldn’t be happy he’d left the team, but he could explain it without mentioning anything to do with himself really. He’d be quitting because Adam was a massive bully, who bullied his only friend in the world. He had barely been kept in check by the other captains and wouldn’t be kept in check by a co-captain, so why would he put himself through that. After all, even if Einar didn’t cry about it, Adam wasn’t exactly nice to him either. Often making him feel bad. Einar arrived at the dorm and noticed that lucas was under the bed. Einar grabbed lucas’ teddy bear and then lay down on the ground looking under the bed. He reached with the bear until it was right in Lucas’ face, ”Lucas,” he stopped himself from saying anything further knowing that if his next words were, you okay, were perfectly redundant as it was clear lucas was very much not okay.​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas opened his eyes, heart fluttering in his chest when he saw Einar. Lucas took the bear and curled up tightly around it, trying to calm himself down. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm sorry," he hiccuped, scrubbing at his eyes with his sleeves. He curled up a little tighter around the bear, biting his lip and trying to reign in his errant emotions. "I only joined the team because- because I w-wanted to go," Lucas struggled to talk, hiccuping and having to repeat himself a bit, "I wanted to go with you when you were gone," he shook his head. "I didn't... I thought I was getting better, I... I really liked being on the team." Lucas bit his lip, sniffling hard, unable to even look at Einar. "I've never been good at anything. I've never had anything. They're never going to let me back on the team,"

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar shook his head lightly and sighed slightly. He knew that Lucas had joined the team in part for him, but he was good too, a good player, despite Adam’s taunting. ”You’re way better than everyone on the team,” he tried to assure him but then he just sighed, ”I don’t think I’ll go back,” he told him, ”I joined quidditch because my mom told me I should give it a shot, but Adam makes every session the worst. I don’t need quidditch to be close to my mom anymore, and I’m not going to take instructions from someone that taunts and bullies you,” he said. He was sure if Lucas did try again he might just go again, but he didn’t think he’d last on the team. He was sure that if he did go back and with no one to hold Adam back, he’d end up just fighting him and likely getting kicked off the team. ”I really didn’t think Dominic was that stupid,” Einar said, ”I was wrong,” he knew he had to stop putting his faith in anyone else. ​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas hiccuped, looking up to Einar with his cheeks wet and his lashes glistening with tears. He sniffled, scooting a little closer and laying a hand on the floor, his fingers nearly brushing Einar but not touching him. "I'm sorry," he apologized softly, sniffling a little. "I'm sorry I ruined quidditch for you," He managed quietly, taking his other hand from around the bear and swiping at his eyes. "I ruin everything," he whispered, his voice breaking.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar shrugged and shook his head, ”You didn’t ruin it for me. Really, I think I was losing interest in it anyway,” this was somewhat true, he liked quidditch when he eventually got to it, but the motivation to actually play and go to the practices was diminishing slowly. It just didn’t grab him as it once had, and without it he could focus on his art though he was lying to himself in thinking that his motivation towards his art was any higher. It was like things didn’t make him as happy as they once had, but he was sure that this was just normal, that without quidditch since he’d have more time to focus on it he’d be more motivated. ”No you didn’t..this is just more bad luck, it’s no ones fault. In any case, without quidditch I’ll focus on my studies and my art more, which I liked more in the first place,” he was saying out loud almost to convince himself of it as much as he was trying to convince Lucas. ​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas sniffled, watching Einar through his hair. He sighed heavily, holding his bear tighter. "You must think I'm a baby," he brought his hand back, both drawing away from Einar a little and wiping at his eyes. "I'm such an idiot," he mumbled, mostly to himself. Lucas felt very small, and weak, and even though in his head he'd always felt that way, it made him feel worse when all he wanted was to impress Einar. It was... odd, really, caring so much what Einar thought of him, but Lucas couldn't help it.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar shrugged, he didn’t really think Lucas was a baby, in his mind really Lucas and his actions could be explained by how he’d grown up, unable to really be himself until school, unable to exist without his brother picking on him and where others might’ve been made harsher by it he hadn’t been. ”No Dominic’s an idiot and Adam’s the baby,” he told him. He knew that it would be easier if Lucas had a slightly thicker skin but Einar could say that even the strongest would find Adam’s constant teasing draining. It wasn’t lucas’ fault and he wasn’t weak because of it. ”Come on why don’t you come out of there, we can grab some art supplies and go up to the top tower and draw and watch the stars?”​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas glanced up to Einar and nodded slowly, carefully shifting out from under the bed. He wanted to cuddle, but he already knew that wasn't in the cards. He gathered his things, smiling shyly and moving over to Einar, taking the edge of the other boys sleeve. It wasn't much, but it was enough for Lucas. He just liked being with him. Even if their entire relationship was a little odd.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar was glad that seemed to get Lucas moving, and he just grabbed the bits and pieces that he would need to do his part. He waited until he was ready and knew that Lucas was ready, especially as he lightly grasped his sleeve and he began moving out of the dorm and to where they always tended to go when they wanted to do this, even if this had been somewhat less frequently lately. ​