It's Not Right, But It's Okay

[Ostensia Metzger]

Ostensia was on the hunt for some new clothes. It had taken her a long time to decide where she wanted to go with her life, but now the answer was very clear. Ostensia was going to move on. A new wardrobe, new hair, and hopefully a new path in her life. It wasn't going to be easy, because the life she was giving up was the only one she had known for most of her life. But it was the only way she could feel good about herself. Ostensia knew that Damian and her breaking up was a sign for something. A sign that it was time for Ostensia to grow up. To push all of her childhood insecurities behind her and find a path in life actually worth living. Ostensia knew that she couldn't be sad forever. It was just the worst feeling in the world. "Which one do you like better?" Ostensia asked the elderly woman who had given her the dresses to look at more closely, but instead of receiving an answer, she was instead greeted with silence. "Fine. Geez, why are old people always so grumpy?" Ostensia shook her head and turned away from her, hoping to ignore the grumbling going on from behind. Ostensia needed to find some friends soon so she wouldn't have to go and ask some grouchy old lady for her opinion. Ostensia sky blue eyes focused intently into the mirror on herself, trying to imagine what each dress would like on her. "I think I'm going to try this one on." Ostensia explained as she grabbed the flowery looking dress and brought it into the dressing room with her. It wasn't exactly what she was used to wear, but it was cute so she was going to give it a try.

When Ostensia emerged she immediately went over to the mirror to see how it looked. It was really short. Not too short to where it showed the things it shouldn't, but a lot shorter than what she was used to. It also hugged her curves. "It's cute, and not too revealing, but I feel like my legs will freeze in this." Ostensia thought to herself as a frustrated sigh escaped her lips. Ostensia wished that changing her style was a lot easier than this. Ostensia knew that she needed to travel a little bit outside of her comfort zone to make it a true change, but it was a lot easier said than done. Ostensia decided that she would try the other dress on just to be sure that this was the better one. Her bare feet carried her across the floor back to the racks where the other dress was placed when the elderly woman had stormed off. However, she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw someone else scanning a bunch of jackets on a wall next to the rack where her dress was. "Damian?" Ostensia breathed out. Forgetting every little thing she told herself about changing who she was, and suddenly remember the hurt and pain she had been feeling in her heart because of him. Ostensia realized that she had no shoes and some dress on that might not be the best thing to be seen in by Damian, but right now she wasn't sure if she should run, or if she should talk to him, or even break down and start to cry. ​

 

[Damian Metzger]

Damian Metzger was glad to be back in New Zealand for a while anyway, and was happy to see his big brother, and then his niece and nephew. He was close to the both of the kids. Benjamin was getting ready to attend Hogwarts New Zealand soon, and he worried over his nephew. Why? Dietrich was a professional Quidditch player that had a boyfriend for a long time, and that was very public. Some people still did not accept things like that. Damian wondered how Benjamin would take going to school. He also hoped that the boy did not get any sort of hard feelings because he was Part-Veela. His dad’s affair with his mom was just horrible, while his step-mother was an angel. It was probably good though, since Svetlana and Dietrich once had something. They were only related by marriage. Damian right now needed some more clothing. His style was very picky, and for his music career, he would need something anyway. He sighed and he went through the clothing store. He looked around through the area, before he found his style at last. He searched through the jeans. He was picky with jeans anyway, since he needed something dark, blue or black would work. But they could not have any sort of holes in them. He was really needed some since he had lost a bit of weight since he had been traveling. That was what happened when one was depressed. He did not eat nearly as much as before, but he did eat still. He was not in danger of going to the hospital or anything like that. He sighed and he hoped that he would be able to find his size, which he had managed to find his size at last. He draped the pants over one of his arms and used his others to have a look at other clothing.

His attention was diverted to some jackets on the wall. Damian started to think of Liliana, someone he was traveling with. She was blind, and she was amazing too. They were good friends now. They had dated for a bit, but Damian was just not that into it, so they remained friends. Damian had some sexual relations with her. She was pretty good too. Damian sighed and wondered if he should try to go for friends with benefits with her or not. Her singing really had him lost in music, and gave him a high that no one could ever accomplish. Well, except Ostensia. She could really change a lot about his lifestyle right now. Damian was still not happy and he regretted ever breaking up with her. If he could take her back, he definitely would, but he knew that ever since he broke up with her, she would never take him back where he had practically broke her heart. Then Damian heard someone say his name and it almost made him jump. He turned around and then saw the gorgeous woman that was Ostensia Romanes there. He did not expect to bump into her there, and then he noticed her dress. It was definitely nothing innocent which made him completely speechless. He wanted to say something to her. Anything, but everything was caught in his throat, as if there was a wall blocking him from begging her to come back into his life. Ever since she was gone, he did not really care about much, though his hair was longer and straighter, and his features looked a bit sharper due to him losing a bit of weight.​

 

[Ostensia Metzger]

Ostensia wasn't sure what she could say to Damian. A lot of things came to mind but she was pretty sure that he'd run away if she tried them. A part of Ostensia wanted to run and hug him, make sure that he never left her again because she still loved him. She wished she didn't because it was pretty clear that she and Damian were over with. But it was hard to forget someone that you had been dating for several years. They had been together since Ostensia was pretty young, and he was her first for a lot of things. Ostensia dared to ask someone how she wasn't supposed to love him still when he had been such an important person in her life? How was he able to do that? Just break up with her and leave? If he was mad at her the least he could have done was talk to her first. It would have worked out if he had at least given it an effort. Ostensia wondered what he was doing right now. Where was he living, was he happy? She noticed that he was shopping so he couldn't have been that miserable. Ostensia paused and thought about that. She was shopping too, but she was completely miserable. Then again, this whole shopping trip was a way for her to try and change herself so she could feel better. Maybe Damian was doing the same thing? "How are you?" Ostensia asked as sweetly as ever. They might have been broken up, but Ostensia wanted to talk to Damian. Maybe if she did he would remember how happy they were together at one point. Then again, what she was wearing probably make him disgusted at how differently she had tried dressing.

Ostensia told him to wait a moment before she snuck back into the changing room and returned to her normal outfit. "I can see that you're shopping too. I've been trying on dresses all day. I think that poor woman over there is tired of me." Ostensia hoped she would get a laugh or a smirk from her, but there was nothing. Damian didn't say a single thing to either of the things she had said to him, and it bothered her. Yes they were broke up, but he could at least say something to her. Anything would do, just so that Ostensia knew he didn't hate her guts. He wasn't even really looking at her, his eyes had yet to meet with hers once. Ostensia was starting to get it. Damian didn't want anything to do with her did he? It was pretty easy to see just by the way he wouldn't look at her, or the way he wouldn't utter even a single verb to her. "You could at least say something, or even look at me and that would be nice." Ostensia finally called him out on his behavior. He was being rude and mean to her right now. How hard was it to be civilized to her? It made Ostensia feel horrible about herself, the man she still loved wanted nothing to do with her. So that was it wasn't it? The whole Damian and Ostensia era had officially died off. It's time was done and over with, and Damian had already seemingly accepted that. If he was acting like this, then maybe the rumor of him being with some other woman was true as well. Ostensia shook her head. She was an idiot for thinking that they could get back together. ​

 

[Damian Metzger]

Damian just could not believe his luck when he had seen Ostensia here, while he was shopping. The fact that she was there right now, it just amazed him so much, that he really could not say anything! She just looked too amazing for someone like him to be here with, but could he really not say that he wanted her back? He really wanted to. His eyes seemed to sparkle, but they were sparkling with tears that just did not want to come out. Tears of regret, sadness and hurt. He hurt himself by doing this, by seeing her like this, but she seemed really happy too. Her clothing was neater, and she did not look skinnier like he did. Any more weight lost and he could be compared to a human skeleton. There were even dark circles around his eyes from nights without sleep, knowing when he woke up, Ostensia would not be there next to him because he was some stupid man. Damian was asked how he was, and he looked down at himself. It was a little obvious how he was. He looked like sh*t. He felt like that too. But he still could not say a word to her. He was about to say something, opening his mouth on how to answer, before she told him to wait a moment and he watched her retreat into the changing room. As soon as she was into the changing room, he started to think to himself. ‘Just tell her that you want her back, you can do it.’ The encouragement was not really helping because he was thinking that he did not deserve her because of what he had already put her through. But there were such things as second chances, right? Did he deserve one? Damian did not think so.

“I want you back. Is that too hard to say? No, so I can do it.” Damian was talking to himself by that point, and she had yet to return. He felt like he was ready to say it. That he wanted her back, and that he loved her and wanted everything with her. He just did not want to be without her anymore. She was everything, and without her, he felt like life did not have a meaning. Then she emerged, and Damian found himself like he had lost his tongue. He just could not say a word to her. He wanted to, he was desperate. Could she not see that? The pleading in his eyes, the hard swallowing, all the signs that there was something wrong. His tongue felt like sandpaper, and he could not believe that this was happening to him. Could he really be so stupid enough to not even talk to her. He was not really looking at her either, but when he did, he felt like his world crumbled before him. He looked into her eyes, and he really felt like he was going to be sick. Instead of dropping what he had for breakfast, he dropped the clothing that he had picked out for himself. She must really hate him right now. He did not blame her. He would think the same thing if he was in her position. His mind and heart were screaming at him to talk, to say something, but his body was in shock. It was like someone had died, but no one had. He was sure though, something did die because of his own stupid issues. Their relationship. ‘Idiot, you are ruining your last shot of getting back together with her. TALK TO HER, NOW!’​

 

[Ostensia Metzger]

Ostensia bit her lip and waited to see if Damian was really going to remain silent. Her eyes glistened with a film of tears that had yet to free themselves from her eyes. Ostensia was proud with how well she was keeping her emotions hidden right now. All she wanted to do was break down and cry, and maybe even grovel at Damian's feet. Maybe if she showed him how miserable she really was, he would feel bad for her and take her back. Then again, by the silence she was being greeted with, maybe he didn't want her back. He didn't say a single thing to her, even though it was pretty obvious that she was begging him to say something back. When Damian dropped the clothing he had been holding, out of instinct, Ostensia bent down to pick them back up for him. When she had all the clothing gathered together, Ostensia held them out to Damian, before making sure that he took them. Her eyes bore down onto his form, making sure that if even for a second that he looked at her, his eyes might briefly meet with hers. It was so much easier to get someone to connect with you when you held their gaze. "Damian....please..." Ostensia pleaded with him. Was he so cruel and full of hatred for her that he couldn't even bring himself to look at her? If she couldn't have him back as the love of her life, the least he could do was let her know why he had ended it. Perhaps it would be useful advice for when Ostensia found someone better one day. Someone who wouldn't do this to her. Suddenly Ostensia became a little angry. Why couldn't be just be an adult and face her?! It wasn't like she was going to beat him up just because he decided he wanted out of a relationship with her.

"Is this really how you're going to let it be? I thought that we could at least be civil to one another." Ostensia finally let her sweet bubbly exterior fall back a little bit, Damian had seen Osa angry before so this wouldn't be too much of a surprise to him. But he should hopefully know that it was hard for her to get into this mood. Did he remember what it was like then when they were together. "Do you even realize how much this hurts? Do you even realize how much I loved you? What did I even do to make you so mad at me? Was it me being jealous? If that was it then I'm sorry. I can't help but feel protective over you though?" Ostensia didn't even want to get into how one day she hoped that they would have a family together, and maybe even get married if he wanted to. Ostensia had always thought that she might make a good mom one day. Damian would most certainly be an amazing dad to some cute little babies. But they wouldn't be her babies. Not anymore. "When did you become such....such a jerk?!" Ostensia asked, almost regretting that she had called him such a thing. But he deserved it for being like he was. After a moment, Ostensia knew she was beginning to cry, so instead of yelling at Damian anymore, she stuck her shoes back on and walked off, right now she could see one person and one person only being able to fix this. Prodan.​

 

[Damian Metzger]

At least Ostensia was nice enough to bend down and pick up the clothing that he had dropped. His hands were shaking when he gently took the clothing back. He placed them gingerly in his arms and prayed that she understood his body language. Maybe if she could see the emotions written clearly on his face, then she would bear with him for just a short amount longer. He was starting to get the feeling back in his tongue, and it did not feel so much like sandpaper. She even begged for him to say something. He opened his mouth and mouthed her name, but no voice came out. 'Seriously?! This cannot be happening to me! I just spoke when she was changing!' yelled Damian in his mind. Could he really be that stupid? It was when Ostensia let out some anger at him, and knew that he was being a real jerk right now. He just could not find his voice and his eyes went to the ground. he could not believe that he was about to just break down right then and there. He knew how much it hurt, and every word that she was throwing at him made him feel worse and worse. She even apologized for being jealous. He did not even know why he had left now. Oh right, because he could not handle traveling without her, and he did not want her to wait on her dreams. But there was that one word that made him flinch. Loved. Past tense. He knew that she hated him for that, and he no longer deserved someone as wonderful as her. He flinched even more when she asked when he became such a jerk. It was then when he found his voice, weak and feeble, "Osa, I just..." but it was too late. She walked off. Damian looked back after her, and rushed to chase after her, but he collided with a jacket racket. He tumbled to the ground, covered with jackets now. This day could not get any worse. He needed Liliana or someone. He needed someone to just help him through this mental breakdown. Slowly, he got up and started to pick up what he managed to knock over.​

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Fin​