Is this love...

J

Jonathan Holland

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Jon was peaking out of the skylight, of the highest towers waiting for Zehava to make her presents. Still wearing his school uniform, with his shirt undone at the top, Jon took in the nights view that laid spread in front of him. It sure was mesmerising, the grounds keeper really put in his works. The school was improving a lot better, regardless of upcoming change of weather. The autumn leaves were slowly changing as days continue on, but the question that's been hunting Jon for a while had lead him to ponder his feelings about Zehava. He waited for her to arrive, he didn't want to think to much about what might happen after tonight. If love was truly for them or was it just until Jon was done with school. Closing his eyes Jon wonder, while he carefully listen to his throbbing heart beat.
 
Zehava walked around aimlessly, and worried, after forgetting where to meet Jon. Can you not screw up this one time? She cursed, and then turned the corner and saw him.
Her heart skipped a beat. It hadn't been long since she'd seen him but he still made her go weak when she saw him.
She made her way towards him quickly, ready to splutter out a lot of excuses, but when she got there she didn't know what to say.
He was in his uniform, like her, but he still looked irrisistable. How did he do it?
Damn it, she thought inwardly, and then leant up and kissed him on the lips.
 
Jon dark brown eyes glint a little by the lightening surrounding Jon. He heard approaching footsteps and turned his stares to Zehava. Man she was beautiful, but that wasn't enough, to feel love one must feel connected. Jon wonder if their connection was strong enough for them to survive, but there was nothing wrong with Zehava. He had to remind himself that it was his doings and not hers. Even if their relationship was close to a year, possibly more than that. It was his doings not hers, still he wonders. Before Jon could speak he felt her lips pressed against his own. It was alluring feeling her kiss rather than a ex friend. It felt right but wrong, he stepped back and sighed. "Zehava there something I have to tell you" he said while taking a hold of her hands, his enormous fingers lacing hers. "Please just listen..."
 
Zehava tried not to sound nervous when Jon stepped back. She held onto his fingers a little too tightly.
Didn't he like her? But she had so much she needed to tell him...
'So have I.' She said. 'Go ahead.' She smiled weakly, hoping it was good news, not bad, but deep down inside, she knew it was bad. The tone he had used had given it all away.
Doesn't he like me anymore? Zehava questioned herself, but then she thought that would be a bit stupid. If that was the case, he would have pulled away from the kiss straight away.
Even so, she was doubting herself.
 
Jon eyes widen when she told him she had something to tell him. He thought of so many negatives things, but she didn't declared it to be negative or positive news. No matter he was ready, he held her hands like if he was holding some part of him. Just don't let go Zehava, he told himself before exhaling a slow breath of air. "Do you....remember...Zazuka?" he asked her. He still questioned how she knew about Zazuka, or if she had spoken to one of his friends at one point. And that's how he got figured out. "Zehava I'm sorry. But I don't want you to go on thinking nothing ever happen between me and her. When truthfully I could say there had been something going on between me and her. My intention was to keep it at a friend status, but these feelings" he said looking at her now. "I don't want to pretend like nothing happen, when a lot was said and I just...." Jon heavily sighed. "Let's just say I'm not friends with her anymore"
 
Zehava frowned in thought. She only knew Zazuka because she had seen them in one of the villages before she had preperly started at Hogwarts.
'You mean... You were with Zazuka?' She asked carefully. She didn't want to make him think she didn't like him. That wold ruin her news.
On that note, she put her finger to her lips gently, to show him she didn't care what he had done, as long as he loved her now.
'Is this a joke to you?' She whispered, having suddenly realised. 'Do you care about... us?' She had paused after 'us' because she didn't know he he still thought they were an 'us'
'Jon, I stayed away from you for too long... I should never have done it. But that doesn't mean I don't want to be with you any more. Infact, it's the exact opposite.' She inhaled, gripping his fingers.
'B..Because.' She shook her head, not trusting herself to tell him the truth. But that was it. If she really loved him, surely she would tell him?
'Well.. I..I'm Pregnant.' She breathed quickly a deeply, scared that he wouldn't want to be with her anymore. Suddenly her eyes widened. 'I mean, It's.. yours.' She added softly, and then buried her head against his chest.
 
From the way she had said, she made it seem like Jon was with Zazuka. As if they had taken that step without realising it, but the truth is he had stop that before it got out of control. "Of course I care about us, I just didn't want you to go on thinking that I've been fair to you all this time. When its not true, I haven't been as loyal as I should have been. I'm sorry Zehava..." Jon was going to continue but the look she gave him told him a lot more than he needed to know. She didn't care, she wanted to be with him. The words she had spoken right after, had taken Jon by surprise, actually it nearly knocked him down but he held strong. Feeling her body press against his own, he couldn't believe what she just said. "Your pregnant? Are your really?" he whispers now his hands set on her lower back, cradling her within his arms. This time he really did fall to his knees, his eyes nearly brim with tears as he wrapped his arms around her belly. "I can't believe it..." he said his head now resting on her stomach. It didn't hit him yet, till a few seconds later. That Jonathan Hollawarth was going to be a father. He looked at her with such adoring gaze, his lips peeled back as he gave the most cheekily smile he could ever give to someone he was fond of. "Will you marry me?" came out right after the words he had just spoken. It was the best timing but without a ring, all Jon cared about if she said yes and that the child inside her womb was healthy.
 
Zehava gasped, having not expected that at all. 'I...' She wasn't going to turn him down. No way. He was the father of her unborn child, and she loved him.
'Yes.' She whispered, still a little shocked. Then she smiled, and looked down at Jon's hands on her baby.
He really does care, Zehava thought to herself, and then suddenly felt like crying. But she was happy. And very confused.
Zehava wrapped her arms around Jon, her head against his chest, and tried not to make his shirt wet.
His shirt was silky against her cheek, and she wanted to stay there forever. The warmth of his body against hers was comforting. She hoped he felt the same.
Slowly, she pulled away. It had only just hit her. 'You mean, you'll look after the baby with me?' She asked in a whisper.
 
Jon smiled, finally raising up to his feet.
With his hands cupping her face, Jon sink into her lips kissing, Zehava with such love and affection.
He felt her hands wrap around his torso once he released, again her head nestle into his chest as he held her close
feeling her breathe in his every scent, his shirt becoming stain with her tears, as they wash away into the cotton material of his school uniform. When she pulled away and ask such a obvious question, he took a steady breath and smile. "If you want to that is? Though I'm not sure finishing your year here in Drumstrang would be such a good idea..." he finally confessed. "I wants what's best for the baby"
 
Zehava didn't know what was best for the baby.
'I don't want to drop out of Durmstrang...' She thought aloud. 'But there's a child inside me.' She was on the verge of tears again.
Why am I upset? She thought, and she didn't really know. She'd just gotten engaged, and found that Jon would help her look after the baby inside her, and yet she was sad.
Pull yourself together, she said to herself.
'I think... That is what I want. But I can't pull you away from school and... I don't want to leave!' She sighed, her face crumpled up.
All she could think about was Jon and the baby. How would she concentrate in lessons?
 
"Zehava you will have to do something? Or else I'm not allowing you to be here."
he said with so much authority over her now. Jon held her still as she pulled her face down crumbling beneath his grip.
"We will have to talk about this some other time. Now what's more important is that we get you to the hospital.
You know to make sure the baby okay." he smiled at her finally lacing his gingers with hers. "How sill you break
this new to your parents?" he asked her. "Should I be the one or do it together?"
 
'I... Um... We could both do it?' She suggested quietly. She understood she needed to go to a hospital, but she didn't want to go. What if the baby wasn't ok?
Zehava was scared, but she didn't let on. She didn't want to make Jon worry about anything. He probably had enough on his mind already.
'Ok.' She said to the hospital comment. 'We should... Go.' She looked down. She didn't want this to happen. She wanted a child but didn't know how to look after it. How would she earn money? Her mind buzzed with thoughts and she couldn't concentrate.
Morning sickness. Ugh, Zehava dreaded to think about that one. Would she have to leave school if she kept the baby? Yes, probably, she thought.
 
"Something wrong baby?" he asked her. For one moment he was happy and joyous with Zehava. For the next moment the air felt a little tense. "You know you can tell me anything?" she asked her. He wonder if she was thinking about what he just said moments ago or if she was worried about their future together. Now that it seem settle, still he could tell her expression perfectly clear not, it wasn't something he wanted to see on his new fiance. "If your worried about the future?" he question but stood back as if not to smoother her to much with questioning. There was a lot to think about.
 
Zehava hesitated. 'I don't know I just...' She sighed. 'I wish this wasn't so complicated.' She wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeves. 'I just want this to work with us.' She said, looked right at him now. 'I love you.' She whispered. 'But I don't know what to do. I can't pull you out of school, I just can't!' She raise her voice a little. How could she ruin her fiance's life because she was having a child? She really couldn't do it. 'Maybe I should just... Get rid of it!' She started to cry again, hoping Jon would comfort her.
 
Jon was heartbroken, but he wanted to do what she felt like doing. "I understand" not that he really did, he wasn't the one going to miss school. Jon was almost done, a couple months he would be heading off into the ministry to work along his father side. "If you feel like we are to young, maybe that's the best thing to do, honestly I don't know what to say right now" he was lying to himself, all the way. Zehava would detect it quickly, but he thought about it more. He just didn't know what to do now.
 
Zehava wondered whether he really meant what he was saying. 'It's not that we're to young...' She said, even though they were a bit, 'It's just... I... Do you want to keep it?' She asked, wanting what was best for everyone, not just herself. She bit her lip and looked down. She couldn't look at Jon right then. She felt uncomfortable with it. What the hell is wrong with you? She yelled inside. He's your fiance! Just look at him. She did what she told herself, and then couldn't help but realise the beauty that was inside him. The baby would be so pretty! Zehava giggled, despite the awkward moment. 'Lets keep it.' She said, excited now. She stretched up and put her arms around his neck, her chest against his. 'Kiss me.' She whispered.
 
"Of course I want to keep the baby Zehava. Why wouldn't I? You mean a lot more now that your carrying my child. I just want to make you happy and I want our family to finally come together" he held her hands as he leaned down and kiss her perfect lips. His life was now devouted to her and the child. He just wanted to be sure if she was happy with him, and from the looks of it she seem to have been. He smiled as he held her close. "You make me feel complete you know that right?" he kissed her more. Jon no longer can live in past event, what happen back than he had to leave behind. Now he had to live for his future and for upcoming events, still though he felt like a chapter still hadn't been close yet. Its best to leave it alone, he thought to himself while staring into Zehava eyes. She what's matter now, nothing else.
 
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