Closed In Too Deep

[Avery Lavigne]

Avery had been avoiding Isaiah- not returning messages, not stopping by Isaiah's apartment like he had before. It had been about a month since they'd talked, and Avery missed him. He tried to ignore it, pushing it aside. He was just a fling, that was all, they'd messed around and it was over. Avery wished he believed that. He didn't know when that had changed, but it scared him that it had. And opening up his feelings to Isaiah, it had opened him back up to everything he'd been running from for so long.

Avery sat on his back steps, looking out over his yard. It was small, with a big swooping tree and soft grass. The fence was high up, but the back gate was cracked open. He had Isaiah's necklace hanging lightly in one hand. His chin was propped in the other, staring blankly at nothing in the general direction of the tree as silent tears slid down his face. His mind was racing with thoughts he didn't want to be having, but he hadn't been able to escape them like he used to.

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah tried not to be worried about the silence that he was receiving from Avery. He knew he'd probably scared the man off a little, but he just didn't like knowing nothing. Having nothing to go on. He just went about his days as he was supposed to. Sending messages and the odd note to him, just trying to not be too pressuring or make him feel worse. The man ended up going for long walks, just to fill the hours, just letting his feet take him wherever they wanted to, and apparating back home when he was tired enough. Isaiah was walking the streets of the town, in a nice neighbourhood, with proper houses and front porches. Back gardens. It was silent on is walking so he did tend to look in some of the gardens. He spotted on that day, Avery. He was a little surprised. he approached the back gate and then knocked to alert him that he was there. "Fancy seeing you here," ​

 

[Avery Lavigne]

Avery might have jumped at the sudden intrusion on another occasion, but he was too far gone currently to register anything properly. He felt numb. He turned tired, dead eyes to Isaiah, another tear slipping down his already tear-stained face, before returning his gaze to stare at nothing. "Go away," He grumbled half heartedly, his voice sounding foreign to his own ears. Avery felt like an imposter, living someone elses life. He felt... lost. "Just go away," He whispered, shutting his eyes and lowering his head into his arms, the necklace Isaiah had given him still dangling out of one hand.

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Certainly this was not the reaction that Isaiah had been hoping for. It was half hearted but there was enough in the tone that he felt it was at least a little half hearted, that maybe it wasn't entirely meant. He watched Avery for a moment. "Are you sure?" he asked. He wasn't sure this was the right thing to say, that if he did that might end up with him no longer every having Avery in his life, but he wanted to be true to what he'd said, there was no pressure for avery on any of this. He wanted to be there for him, to help him but he wouldn't force it. "Some people say that I'm really good at listening," ​

 

[Avery Lavigne]

Avery took a deep, shuddering breath, shifting, straightening a bit though his head was still hung. "It wasn't supposed to go this far," He spoke, voice soft. He didn't look to the man, running a hand through his hair. "I came here to get away. To stop feeling. I wasn't- this wasn't-" He shook his head, curling in on himself as the tears fell a bit harder. "I just wanted to forget," He whispered.

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah knew that Avery wasn't one for long relationships and really he also hadn't expected this to go as far as it had, but it had. They were still taking things easily, not overdoing anything, but he also knew that it was a lot for Avery, no matter how much Isaiah would insist that it wasn't too much for him. He felt bad that he had thought it was too much when it really wasn't too bad. He approached him and then sat down next to him. He didn't touch him or reach out. "What did you want to forget?" he asked. ​

 

[Avery Lavigne]

Avery was silent a moment, rubbing his thumb absentmindedly over the chain of the necklace in his hand. "Everything," He whispered. "I was- I was different. Someone else," He shut his eyes, the tears falling steadily. "My sister... she played Quidditch for the French Nationals." He propped his forehead in his hand, his face twisting. "It was the three of us- mama, Suzette and I," His voice shook. It hurt so much to talk about them, but he could feel the words bursting forth, and he could do nothing to stem the tide.

"Suzette fell ill. So terribly ill. We did everything, tried, everything, but- but-" Avery shook his head, tangling his hand in his hair. "She was lost to us. I tried- tried to stay strong, for mama, to take care of her- but- but her broken heart was too much, she could not- she could not recover," He drew in a shaky breath, his shoulders starting to shake. "I lost everything, everyone," He gasped out, his chest growing tight. "I have nothing, I am nothing," He started to sob, the necklace slipping from his fingers. He curled in on himself, falling apart and unable to stop it.

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah wasn't sure what he was expecting in that moment, but it wasn't all that Avery said. Though his reluctance to get close to anyone made sense. He knew how hard it could be to put yourself out there, how difficult it was to lose someone and to know how to find yourself again after. Isaiah reached down and took the necklace before putting an arm around Avery and bringing him in close. He knew that there was plenty he could say about it, words of reassurance, reassurance that he knew how this was, but instead he remained silent, this was not the time for him to try and make him feel better, now was the time to allow him the space to let himself break down, feel all of these pent up emotions and let them be felt. Released. ​

 

[Avery Lavigne]

Avery didn't mean to, but he fell in against Isaiah, breaking down and crying. He buried his face in Isaiah's neck, shaking and sobbing, clutching at the mans shirt. Avery wasn't sure how long he cried, but eventually he had cried himself out. He was curled against Isaiah, sniffling weakly. "I'm sorry," He murmured, sighing. "It... today was... we used to take a week every year, go somewhere." He sighed, wrapping his arms around himself. "We would've... we were supposed to..." He shut his eyes.

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah just put his arm around him, and let the man lean into him. He shook his head. "It's okay," he assured him quietly. He didn't mind that Avery had needed to cry on him, had needed the close person comfort of someone else. it made sense to him that Avery would be more upset if there was an anniversary or rememberance of some kind. "It's okay. Where would you usually go?" he asked, hoping to coax small answers out of him, just to give him a bit of an opportunity to talk about it. to give him a bit of space to tell him about something that was both bothering him and what he'd perhaps been keeping to himself. ​

 

[Avery Lavigne]

Avery relaxed into Isaiah, shutting his eyes. "Somewhere new," He murmured. "The three of us would all save up all year, then put our funds together and see where it could take us." He sniffled, clinging a little to Isaiah. There was no point in trying to play it cool right now; he was a mess, an absolute wreck, and Isaiah couldn't possibly think anything worse of him after seeing him cry like a fool. "I... I missed you," He admitted gently. "I just- I didn't... I couldn't..." He sighed, hiding his face in Isaiah's neck. "I'm scared," he whispered, trembling slightly.

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah nodded a little and considered what he was saying. He wondered if offering for them to go somewhere would help or if it would just scare him off more. He was glad that at least he had missed him. "It's okay," he assured him not wanting him to feel bad about how he'd been feeling. "It would've been nice to know but I get it. The first few anniversaries can be hard, they get easier..but..sometimes it'll knock you back," Isaiah said with a soft tone. "If we went somewhere, just the two of us, a little trip of our own, would that be too much?" ​

 

[Avery Lavigne]

Avery shifted, hiding his face in the crook of Isaiah's neck. He didn't answer immediately, but he didn't pull away either. After several moments, Avery asked a question of his own, one that suddenly felt like the world was riding on the answer. "What do you want from me?" He asked gently, his voice small. "Like really, if you had the choice, what would I be to you?" He asked, his fingers digging slightly into Isaiah's shirt.

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah frowned slightly at Avery's words. He wasn't sure what to make of it, what he should make of it. ”I don't....,” he paused and his words faded. ”I don't want anything, I'd like to give us a try, but only if you wanted it too,” he assured him. He just wasn't sure if that was the right answer, if that was what he was looking for. ”I like you, really like you, and I'd just would like the opportunity to woo you properly, to be able to spend a bit of time getting closer, seeing if we work,” Isaiah shrugged slightly. ”but only if you wanted to,” ​

 

[Avery Lavigne]

Avery struggled with Isaiah's words, silent for perhaps a bit too long as he processed everything. It sounded... nice, but terrifying, all at once. Still, despite the mixed feelings, it was... a lot more even than he would have expected. There was a time what felt like not so long ago that even the thought of a relationship would have sent Avery running. But now...

Now Avery shifted, moving away briefly just to sit himself in Isaiah's lap. Avery wrapped his legs loosely around the mans waist and gently placed his hands on Isaiah's back, leaning his forehead against the mans shoulder, nose brushing his neck. "Let's... go somewhere." He offered slowly, softly. "Take a week, just us," He drew in a breath, pressing closer. "We can... talk... after that," He suggested, his words careful.

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah nodded at him with a little smile playing on his lips. He knew that this was all a lot for him, that this ask, that the way Isaiah had been moving or looking to move with him. He knew that things had to go slowly and was fine with it, but perhaps he had pushed a little. Isaiah let Avery decide how close he wanted to be, decide how they sat just leaning in lightly to him. "Let's," he agreed, a week away, any amount of time away would do them both a world of good. He knew it would. "Let's go somewhere extremely far where no one will know who we are," Isaiah added, some place they could forget about everything and everyone. ​

 

[Avery Lavigne]

Avery took a deep breath and nodded, biting his lip. This was definitely a lot for him, but... somehow it wasn't as scary as it had once been. "When should we leave?" He asked gently. He wanted to just grab their things and go, but he knew life didn't always work out like that. Avery leaned back, reclaiming the necklace he'd been given, before peeking up at Isaiah through his messy bangs. "Help me?" He asked gently, implying assistance in putting the chain back around his neck.

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah gave a little thought to it. ”I need to probably let my work know, but I should be able to leave as soon as you want,” Isaiah replied. He hadn't taken many holidays in the last couple of years, he was owed this quick time off, and he could even say it was absolutely a family emergency. Isaiah nodded, moving to help Avery put the necklace on. He fumbled a bit with it, his hands a little clumsy, but he got it. ”There,” and he placed a quick kiss to the back of Avery's neck as he pulled away. ​

 

[Avery Lavigne]

Avery shut his eyes, relaxing a bit as Isaiah put the necklace on. He put his fingers gently on the cool metal. He knew it was probably not a good sign, being attached to a piece of jewelry given to him by a man he had never meant to be involved with, but he couldn't help it. He felt oddly comforted as he played with the necklace. He turned to Isaiah, biting his lip and smiling almost shyly. "We, um... we could... go now?" He offered gently. "I could go pack..."

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah nodded lightly. ”Well, okay, go pack, and maybe meet me at my apartment in like two hours,” he said. Giving a time frame of two hours would allow him to organize his work and get a few things in order and mean they were leaving quickly but not immediately, immediately. ”If two hours is enough time to pack and get affairs in order for you?” Isaiah asked him. He didn't want to make too many assumptions about it. ​

 

[Avery Lavigne]

Avery considered the question, running his fingers gently over Isaiah's collar. "That... should work, yeah," If he was being honest, Avery hadn't booked any new gigs for the next few weeks, having been in a bad state of mind and struggling to finish the last jobs. He was in the clear now, though. "My schedule is clear... it will give me time to clean up and pack, I think," He decided, before looking back up to Isaiah. Avery hesitated a moment, before leaning in and stealing a long, almost chaste kiss. It was shy almost, with more feeling than Avery had allowed into anything in a long time.

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah smiled at Avery and then nodded. It was exciting that they were about to do this, and he felt sure that this would be helpful and healing for them both. He leaned into the kiss as it was given, and his expression was fond as he looked at him. "I should go speak to my boss then, I'll see you at mine in two hours?" he said, ready to get everything he needed to in order. It wouldn't be difficult but he also didn't want to leave. He didn't want to leave Avery. "Two hours,"​

 

[Avery Lavigne]

Avery took a deep breath before pushing up onto his feet. He sighed, chewing on his lip as he thought over what had just happened. He looked up as Isaiah spoke, and swallowed nervously. "Two hours," He agreed gently, leaning in to steal one more kiss before heading inside.