Open Imposter Syndrome

[Dahlia Doherty]

Dahlia hesitated at the edge of the Quidditch Pitch. She had been arguing with herself about whether or not to actually try out for the team again all morning, and now as she almost approached the pitch the argument was getting stronger. Dahlia had been on the team as an alternate seeker last year, but she had been very lucky to get that position. And it wasn't really a position she actually wanted. Seeker wasn't fun - you didn't really get to interact with the other players, and everyone was disappointed in you if you didn't catch the snitch first. She liked the team, especially Rāwhiti, but she wasn't sure if she even should go for it again.

It didn't help that there were so many other people who wanted to be on the team more. Like Senna, and Fraser. Dahlia wanted to play a team sport, but whether or not it was Quidditch didn't really matter. She would have rather been playing netball. If she tried out and made the team, would she have really deserved it? Sure, she would have liked the excuse to hang out with Rāwhiti, but Dahlia wasn't sure if it was a good idea. She lay back on the grass with a self-pitying sigh, looking up at the people flying around and weighing up the pros and cons. This was more thinking than she would have liked to do.

 

[Leah Thorne]

Leah was happy to be a school again and it was almost her favorite time of year, quidditch try-outs. She had long since accepted her skills were better used off the pitch but she still loved to watch all house's try-outs to get a sneak peak at what the season had in store. Her own house was on the pitch today and she was eager to see who would make an appearance. But as she made her way across the lawn she spotted a familiar shape in the grass. She knew Dahlia had made the team last year so she wasn't sure what her roommate was doing. Taking a slight detour she walked over and stood over the other girl, casting a shadow across her face. "Better not fall asleep or you'll miss try-outs." she laughed.

 

[Dahlia Doherty]

Dahlia hadn't been expecting anyone to stop and chat, as the only people around seemed to be enthusiastic Gryffindors who were laser focused on trying out, so she was surprised by Leah's appearance. She flushed a little, embarrassed to have been caught being so mopey, and sat up. She reached up to brush the back of her hair, hoping there were no stray leaves or bits of grass in it, and gave Leah a small smile. "Oh, I...I'm not sure if I should? Try out, I mean." She liked her roommate well enough that she wasn't going to lie, though she didn't exactly want to drop any baggage on her. Leah probably had enough on her plate. "Are you trying out? I'll cheer you on if you do," Dahlia quickly added, moving to stand up even though her legs felt a bit wobbly from nerves.

 

[Leah Thorne]

Leah nearly feel over from shock when Dahlia said she wasn't trying out. "What do you mean?!" she blurted out. "What's wrong?" she asked and studied her friend looking for a bandage or some other injury she could find. Surely if something was wrong Rāwhiti would understand and take that into consideration when putting together the line up. She had to laugh when Dahlia said she would cheer her on. "Merlin, no!" she said quickly. "I tried out as a first year. I love flying and I love the game. But being in the air I couldn't keep track of anything and almost fell off my broom." she said shaking her head.

 

[Dahlia Doherty]

Dahlia felt a bit embarrassed, like she knew she was feeling sorry for herself and it wasn't a good look. Certainly wasn't cute. "I played a lot of muggle sports, but I guess they felt more like a team effort? Here it's like, if you have to catch the snitch and then the other team gets it first, you feel kinda like you let everyone down and it suuuuucks." She drew it out, still trying to shake off her self-pity because she liked Leah too much to throw all that on her dormmate. But after the Ravenclaw game, she'd felt absolutely wretched. It hadn't really been that fun in the end. "Besides, they need a good cheer squad this year!" Gryffindor's results last year had not been very good, and she felt partially responsible. "And I feel like if I got in and did a bad job I think there's like, a bunch of Gryffindors who'd spend the year hexing me. I so don't wanna wake up covered in boils."

 

[Leah Thorne]

Leah couldn't help but scoff as she took a seat next to Dahlia on the grass. "Quidditch is definitively a team sport." she insisted. "Can you imagine a game with just two seekers flying around?! That would be so painfully boring." she groaned. "And I'd like to hear you try and tell a beater that. Not to mention all the times chasers have managed to score enough points so the snitch didn't even matter!" she finished excitedly. She had never been to a game that exciting but she had heard plenty of stories. She had gotten herself rather worked but but tried to calm down as Dahlia was honest with her feelings. Leah had to bite her tongue. This wasn't about seekers and how the game worked. Her friend obviously didn't like the pressure, and as a failed quiddich player herself she had do sympathize. "Well anyone who knows anything understands it's no one person's fault when we lose." she said in an attempt to be comforting but winced when it didn't sound all that inspiring. "Besides," she said quickly. "If anyone wanted to hex you they'd have to go through me first." she said seriously and sat up a bit straighter and pointed her thumbs at herself.