Closed I Still Love You

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily had been looking everywhere for Lars. She had been trying to find him since he and Elliot had broken up, but the Ravenclaw somehow always managed to elude her. But today, today she was determined. She had been all over the castle, chasing glimpses and whispers of him until finally, finally she came up to the North Tower. He had to be here. She opened the door, stepping in and brushing her hair back. "Lars?" She called softly, looking in to see if she had finally caught up with him.

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars had been seeking out different spots where he could be on his own. He preferred avoiding most of his classmates these days, and spent most of his days sketching. He had found a spot at the North Tower, somewhere no one would disturb him. But as he heard a familiar voice call his name, he knew immediately that he had been found. He sighed softly. "Hi Lily." He mumbled, though he didn't look up from his sketches. He kind of hoped Lily would leave again, though that seemed unlikely.

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily bit her lip. Lars. She carefully stepped inside, shutting the door before walking over to sit beside him. "I brought your favorite muffins." She offered shyly, holding out the small basket for him. She wasn't sure how today would go but she hoped it went well

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars kept sketching without looking up at Lily, though he glanced at the muffins as she held the basket out for him. He twisted his pencil in his hand for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Thanks." He said quietly. "That's nice." He hunched over a little, blocking her out a little. Lily was Elliot's friends before anything else, and that meant they couldn't be the same as before.

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily bit her lip, setting the muffins down and placing a hand gently on his arm. "Lars?" She asked softly. "Hey," She tried to duck down and catch his eyes with her own blue orbs. "You're still one of my best friends," She told him, wanting to scoot closer but unsure if he would accept it. "Please don't leave me," She pleaded gently, heart hurting a little in her chest. He might have been Elliot's first, but he had come to mean a great deal to Lily, too. She didn't want what had happened between the boys to end her friendship with either of them.

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars winced at the feeling of Lily's hand on his arm, and he tensed at her words. Lars turned away from her slightly, shaking his head. "Elliot is your best friend." He muttered. "You knew him first, you like him most. I can't... I can't be close with someone who is so close to him." He swallowed, his own voice shaking a little. "I like you, Lily, but... Elliot needs you. And I need to be as far removed from Elliot as I can, until it no longer feels like the mere thought of him makes my heart want to burst." He told her, attempting to sound resolute. Would he miss Lily? Yes. But... he also didn't know if he could remove her from Elliot in his mind. And the thought of Elliot made him want to scream, especially the idea of him and Lily discussing the breakup together.

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily could feel her shoulders slump. This wasn't going how she wanted it to, at all. "But... you need me, too..." She set the muffins down, not moving away but not moving closer like she desperately wanted to. "I know things might be different than before... but you still mean so much to me." She looked to him, blue eyes shimmering. "I... understand if you need a bit of time. That's okay, I just..." she hesitated, lightly laying a hand on his arm. "You won't forget me, will you? I don't want to lose you," She bit her lip, heart pounding in her chest. "Things change, people grow, I understand, but... maybe we can try again in a little while? Find a new dynamic? Please?" She pleaded softly.

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars glanced at the muffins Lily put down, listening to her words. She meant well, and it hurt him to have to tell her this, but things couldn't be the same. Lars sighed softly and pulled his arm away, shaking his head. "Of course I won't forget you." He mumbled. "But I can't... promise anything right now, Lily." He shifted away from her a bit, turning away so he wouldn't have to look at her. "Please don't make it about you. You have Elliot, and he has you. You were always his closest friend." He took a deep breath. "I'm angry with Elliot." He mumbled. "He hurt me so much, and you're still his friend. I can't... I can't be your friend too. Not right now." He said, biting his lip hard. "Sorry." He whispered.

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily could feel her heart breaking a little bit as Lars pulled away from her, knowing as he spoke that he was right. She bit her lip, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. She was quiet a moment, letting out a shaky breath. "I understand," She managed softly. "I just... need you to know that I will always be here if you ever need me," She told him, the tears spilling a little. She ran her fingers over her cheek, standing with a quiet sigh. "I'm really going to miss you, Lars," She murmured, pausing and leaning down, pressing a soft kiss to the back of his head, leaning her head against his for a brief moment before pulling back and stepping away. "If... you ever need anything, just say the word. You have my full support," She bit her lip, wrapping her arms around herself and turning away.

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars stayed turned away from her, not wanting to look at Lily. He nodded at her words, but said nothing. He knew he would just break down and cry, which he didn't want to do in front of her. He knew it would be better if Lily didn't think this upset him too much, it would be easier for them both. He winced as she kissed the back of his head, hunching over more. "Yeah." He croaked. "Bye...." He then said, curling up more. He hoped that when he turned around, she would be gone. Her lingering and saying these things wasn't making anything easier, but he didn't think he could say that without hurting her feelings more.