I Hope You Had The Time Of Your Life

[Kimmara Freecss]

Set July, 2039
Kimmara Axel flopped her lithe form back onto Killua's bed after tossing her summer dress back onto her body. Her hair was sticking in odd directions, but she didn't care much. Instead she reached into her denim bag next to her, and pulled out her Iphone, attempting to catch her breath. She'd been spending a lot of time on the beach for photoshoots, and when they headed to Hawaii, she couldn't help but think there was no better way to spend her free time than with the object of her affect - the blonde whom lay next to her under the covers. The blonde youth turned on her side to lay on his chest while scrolling through her social media, and the pictures of the shoot. "Look at this one, I'm thinking when they release these bikini's in stores i may get one." She showed him a photo from the shoot, the back bikini neither covering nor revealing - the way Kimmara generally enjoyed her clothing to be. Even her beach wear. The blue, doe eyes belonging to her shifted to look at his face and she smiled, she couldn't be happier snuggled up to a man she'd truly come to care for, and whom, though cold sometimes, she thought might care for her as well. After all, this was not their first rendezvous.

"Killy." she stted his name quietly, almost a question to get his attention. She wanted his eyes to meet hers before she said what she felt she needed. "You've been so great to me, even after the incident with Abel." She said, not referring to it as what it really was - her first time. "I just... I love you." She said with the sureness of a child saying they wanted candy. She only hoped that he could return the emotions to her, and perhaps her heartache would be over - especially after the one night stand with the man at the bar.

 

[Killua Freecss]

Killua Freecss had been too lazy to get up from his comfortable position on the bed. He had only lifted himself for a little while to put on a pair of trousers that had been discarded to the floor a little while ago. Afterwards, the blond-haired man had returned to the couch, his right arm under his head as he looked at the model walking around his room before situating herself to his bed and laid on his chest. He watched with idle fascination as she tinkered with what she had called an iPhone and showed him a picture of a bikini which he frankly couldn't care less about. "Don't they just give you whatever you model?" he asked with a snort as his left hand wandered to her long hair, brushing his fingers on it idly, probably making it more of a mess than it already was. It was fine with him though, he rather liked Kimmara's hair messy than all prim and proper, he thought that the messy hair made her look more wild and adventurous. Sexy. In fact, if he had to choose which look was his favorite on her, it would be when she was all tired and messy. Yeah, he certainly liked that.

Getting slightly lost in his little train of thoughts that weren't exactly appropriate, the former assassin was brought back from his reverie when the younger girl had called his name. He looked down upon her and watched as she tried to get her words out and he had to heave a sigh at the words that he should have expected to come from her. "Kimmy, I thought we've been over this," the young man said, and they had. A few times actually. Even before he and Abel had moved into Hawaii. And even before he had known that Kimmara and Abel had a little moment of their own. He was pretty sure that he had made his intentions clear. "I can't be in a serious relationship with you," he said seriously and he knew that this conversation of theirs would not end like all the others before. But he was serious, about his decision as well. The setup they had was unfair enough and getting into a serious relationship with her. Well, that would certainly change a lot of things and would only make it more unfair to both of them. And he didn't think that either of them would be up for it at all.
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[Kimmara Freecss]

Kimmara bit her chapped lip slightly and glance at Killua as he spoke. The blonde let his words sink in. Her heart felt emotions spilling out and falling onto the floor the way a glass shatters when it slips from haking hands. Eyelashes tickled the bone just below her eyes, lengthened from the makup used on the beach, a waterproof black that did not run as a tear threatened it with salty wetness. "I thought." Did Kimmara know what she truly thought. She leaned up on the bed, a foolish shell, husking around emotions she did not truly understand. She could remember every sweet whisper of beauty that was given to her, every mention of her as a hot mess, and every small kiss between lovers as they blossomed and grew older together. She'd been so young when they'd met. She'd never kissed anyone before he'd come along. Her brother had been ever so careful to help shield her since they'd reunited. And Killua took all of that away.

"I th-thought that was because of A-Abel? I th-thought you were upset." She sat on the edge of the bed now. Her words were not hollow, as she wanted them to be. Her stutter filled with pain that revealed what she would not allow her face to. She was hurt beyond that of a small insult or backlash. She wanted to cry, scream, and kick her way to the door, pushing Killy back and saying she never wanted to ee him again. The aching emptiness in her chest though, and horrid thudding of a tin heart, told her that she wanted to see him again, for the rest of her day - as a teen she knew that he was what he wanted. She had known no other love. "Killua, you don't understand. You're all I have. M-Mitch hates me and Abel d-doesn't love me I ju-just though you... c-cared."

 

[Killua Freecss]

Killua could practically see the gears turning in Kimmara's head. He could see every bit of rampant thought that ran amok her and every emotion that threatened to spill. He knew her all too well but she didn't know her. He could read her like an open book most of time and he understood her like the back of his hand. But if there was an emotion he would not understand that she emitted, it was love. She said she loved him but Killua couldn't bring himself to believe that. She was lonely saved for her brother and she was caged from when he met her. They were two lonely people then. For he had been pining for a love that he had never gotten back. He should have been happy when Kimmara confessed. But he wasn't. No matter what he did, she wasn't the redhead that he so longed. And all he would be able to do for this Hufflepuff was keep away the longing physically. He would never be able to fill the void mentally and emotionally, just like she would never be able to fill his. It was unfair to the both of them, but then again, when is life ever fair?

Killua couldn't help but sigh as she rubbed the back of his neck and contemplated on his next words. But then again, there was no need to contemplate on anything. He had already hurt her and if he didn't push through with his words then he would be giving her a false image. False hope. That was something she didn't deserve. "Kimmy," he started out as he sat up and looked at her. Really looked at her. "What happened with Abel, it surprised me, and made me react in a way I shouldn't have. But I wasn't upset," he breathed out before continuing on with his words. "Abel is my best friend. I didn't expect what happened between the two of you, but that is okay with me because we were never together, nor did we agree to be one. You are part of my life too, but I just can't be with you that way," his words stung. He knew it but there was no other way to get his words across and he couldn't help but feel the pang of guilt as she stuttered of Mitch and his best friend. He knew all too well what happened. His sister didn't know what happened between Kimmara and Abel, and she had been in love with him for years while the former was a friend of hers. "Stop that. I care about you. You know I do. Just because I can't be your boyfriend doesn't mean I never cared. You are not someone I f**k with to pass the time but this," he said, gesturing to themselves both being in the same bed. His bed. "Is already unfair enough as it is. If I take it to the next step, it will only hurt us both even more. And hey, I'm not the last guy on Earth. There will be someone who would not hurt you like how Abel did or like how I'm doing now. And you have Silas. Sure he got a stick up his **s but, he's a good brother," he said with slight gentleness. He knew it would not take away the pain he had caused her, nor would it lessen right now, but this was the least he could do. He was not he man for her. Merlin, he wasn't even the boy that was right for her, will never be.
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[Kimmara Freecss]

Kimmy couldn't believe him, why was he saying such hurtful things. Kimmara didn't want to listen to the ginger charlatan next to her. She felt ridiculously stupid, she'd been played to a t, a fiddle to the man beside her. At first Kimmy attempted to allow her green eyes to settle on him, but she couldn't look at him for long. She could only picture that first time they'd laid together, he'd made her forget that Abel had even kissed he. "Trust me.... beautiful." Why had she ever trusted him?

Finally, with frayed emotions and tear filled eyes, Kimmara stood. She was jolted, heartbroken - used. "You don't care about anyone but yourself." She whispered in a hurt tone. Hey eyes looked to the door and then she turned to look at him once more. "You-you say you care, b-but if y-you did, you'd have ne-never abused my trust." She took a step back and grabbed her purse and her bag. The tears were now flowing freely, one by one in a marching line. Her tone was dry, left with no emotion toward him. "I-I forgave Abel. We-we didn't m-mean for it to happen. B-but you, you told me to trust you. You told me you w-wanted me. Mo-more than once." Kimmara bit her lip to stifle her raising voice. Then taking in a shakey breath she looked him dead in the eyes. "I-I guess that I'm just... a toy to m-most people. I'm n-not well read, or the prettiest model, I'm not e-even that good at magic. But... I'm g-good enough to want more than this. I d-don't want you anymore. Not someone wh-who will use me... I d-deserve more." Kimmara moved to the door and opened it. "Goodbye, Killua." She spoke quietly before shutting the door behind her, and leaving the house with a stiff upper lip and pain in her heart.

 

[Killua Freecss]

Killua could see every emotion spill within the blonde's eyes. He knew he didn't love her, all he felt was physical attraction towards her but he tried. And yet, in the moments when they were not together, it was only a certain redhead that had been on his mind. Despite not loving her though, he had always had a certain level of caring for her and a certain level of liking. What he liked most about her though was her eyes. He could practically guess her train of thought whenever he looked into those orbs of her. He could see every emotion that threatened to spill through them. She was expressive, but mostly through her eyes. And he could see it all right now. Her disbelief, her pain and betrayal. Everything was playing around like a movie. And he knew it was his fault. He let her speak, not once did he utter another word. If she had wanted to hit him, he would have let her cause Merlin only knew that he deserved it and more. He was silent as her whispers had gradually risen. She didn't yell at him, she never yelled. He didn't point this out though as he only watched her. Listened to her. Until she had left him alone. He did not know how long he watched the door that she walked through before he ran his hand through his hair and laid back on the bed, his gaze fixated on the ceiling. He had lost a friend, someone who had been important to him but knew not how to take care of. He had expected it, waited for it. He knew they were bound to separate. And yet, there had been guilt inside him when he hurt her with his own stupidity and selfishness.

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