I Hope I Never, I Hope I Never Have to Cry, Again.

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Abathyn Dalmoir

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I Hope I Never, I Hope I Never Have to Sigh, Again.[adminapproval=7368658]
continued from here

Abathyn Dalmoir had her eyes shut tight. Reminiscent of when she was a child, her first visit to the hospital, the Death Eater was scared. Scared that they would ask her questions, pressure her into telling all, perhaps another therapist to hate on. All fun and games, maybe more when you're six than anywhere else. As a child Abathyn had been confused over whether to be pleased to get out of the house or to keep on hating that she was made to talk and the therapist watched her playing with those toys; her favourite had been the miniature dragon. Her arms seemed to wrap around her without a thought, defensvely saying 'we don't want to talk'. This was Abathyn's sixteenth visit to a hospital, each memory progressively turning more painful. Where the abuse stopped, the memories haunted.
 
Hadan Johnson was dressed in the proper Healer uniform, and she dealt with the mind and anything psychological, and when she was placed on duty to take care of a woman that seemed like she had a little bit of an episode, and she was admitted into the hospital, Hadan was unsure of what she would see, and she was just starting on this. She dealt with things before, things that most would not deem to be worthy to speak of. Hadan entered the room where the woman rested, and she had a clipboard in her hands. Her eyes went to the bed that the woman rested on, before she glanced down at the board once more. What had made her commit such an act? One must be rather desperate to do this to one's self. Hadan was most disappointed, but she did not show it. Instead, her voice rang out, and she softly spoke to the woman with her arms folded across her chest reminding her of the younger children that were merely pouting, "My name is Hadan Johnson, and I will be your healer for the time being...if you can hear me that is."
 
Abathyn could hear people moving around in the corridor outside; sort of a sterile hush but noisy at the same time. Deeming her arms to be hidden enough, and knowing that a Healer was speaking to her, Abathyn figured her stubborn attempts of pretending to still be unconscious were futile. Her eyes stuck shut though, as her low voice muttered "Yeah sure, I can hear you. Any idea when I'll be allowed out?"
The woman knew some of the systems here, figuring she would be considered a mental health patient. If she was, Abathyn would be kept in for a long while. How.. fun.
 
OOCOut of Character:
Oh okay, and it is fine

Hadan listened to her low voice, and she glanced around the room for a moment. Her arms were hidden so Hadan did not see the mark, but even if she did, she would report it to the other staff. Hadan might be a Death Eater in training, but she had to remain loyal to her job too. She was too new to really be recognized anyway. Hadan answered, "When you will not be considered a threat to society and yourself." It was a cold answer, but there was rarely anything that she said that had any warmth to it anyhow. Hadan was working hard to be where she was right now anyway. Hadan inquired, "Can you tell me what happened, and what your name is?" Hadan did not have her name on her right now, so this was a way to personally know her later on. Since Hadan would have to care for someone. It felt odd too, caring for someone that was just so much older than yourself.
 
The Healer's voice seemed younger than Abathyn's, leaving the Death Eater musing over how young she could be. She didn't want to be putting any problems on someone who might not handle the jandal. How young could a Healer be anyway? Abathyn let the silence ring for a moment, biting her lip before sitting up, bleeding arm at her stomach as her other supported her move. Blue eyes opened fleetingly, the fluorescent light of the hospital was blinding and threatened to bring Abathyn back to her memories. "Fine, sure." Feeling a little crushed that she was considered a danger to society, not minding about herself, she looked up at Hadan.

What the Healer said next caused Abathyn to shrink into herself further. She did not want to explain herself. Not that she could anyway, feeling that her reasons were pathetic and would probably just be wasting time. "Whats-her-face who found me will have told you everything already, won't she?" Abathyn responded with another question, neglecting to offer her name at this point.
 
Hadan raised her eyebrows on how stubborn she sounded, and tapped her finger against her clipboard. Hadan might only be twenty, but she could handle many things, after all she was in a family that was pretty much insane up to its core. Hadan herself was as sane as one could be, but she was probably one of the only women other than Raisa really to never have a kid too young (then again, Hadan was counting Miriah at this point as well so it would be Raisa and Miriah). Hadan could think of no more, unless Patricia surpassed her. Hadan narrowed her red eyes, and she wondered if dimming the room would be any better for the woman. "I prefer to hear it from the actual person, because you will get only one side of the story. Not sure if she will provide me information I will not already know." Hadan did not really care about the name right now, as she figured it will come in due time. Hadan continued to stare at the woman for a moment, before Hadan offered the blue eyed woman, "Want me to dim the lights in the room? This light may bring headaches anyway." The former Slytherin summoned a chair, before she took a seat next to the woman on the bed, and turned her eyes the color of blood over to the woman. Hadan was for the most part a helpful healer, but she also had a temper as well. Hadan had yet to really look at the arm that was bleeding, or better yet, at the mark on her arm as well. Hadan knew that if she did not really earn trust of one, it may end up disastrous especially with dealing with unstable people. One touch and one might be cursed into next week.
 
The noise of the Healer tapping against her clipboard startled Abathyn, her fists clenched and arms tensed. The noise didn't even remind her of anything, but her right hand moved to her mouth in a nervous fashion. Evading the question feebly, Abathyn sighed. "Fair enough, I think. But there's not much to tell, not that I am prepared to tell anyway."

Abathyn slowly opened her blue eyes again. She felt at a complete disadvantage to be not seeing the girl who was talking to her. But stubborn as she was, Abathyn shook her head at Hadan; the light wasn't bringing headaches, only thoughts. Her mind flickered towards the wand in her robes again, knowing she could do anything with it. In fact, she could probably get out of here pretty easily like that. Abathyn was nowhere near to admitting anything, she would have to crack even further to be any closer to telling anyone where she went wrong.
 
The moment that the woman seemed to flinch, well, her hands balled into fists and she seemed rather tense. Hadan raised an eyebrow and wondered if the noise should be ceased. Hadan stood up once more, and she stared over the woman for a moment, her red eyes seeing that her blue eyes were open, and she could just see that she is stubborn. It reminded her of herself, because Hadan was as stubborn as an ox. Hadan mused, "I think there would be a lot to tell, determining these wounds here, and how deep they are. Perhaps there would not be much to tell to someone who is not going to listen." Hadan herself was a listener because listening always got down to the major points. Hadan once more did not see the arm of which held the mark, but it would be seen here soon if Hadan kept noting down everything the woman did, and how she seemed. "Do you have any family that we can contact, to alert them of your condition and where you are right now? A husband, sister, children, whatever you reside with?" Surely this woman was not alone.
 
Abathyn wondered why the Healer had not asked to see her shredded arm, despite the fact that she would refuse anyway. The Healer stood up. The Death Eater wondered fleetingly how much blood there had been so far. Abathyn was beginning to feel faint, probably because her wounds were still bleeding. Just a bit. She thought a little about what Hadan had said, trying to make sense of it. It took a moment, but the woman said as if she was concentrating very hard on her words; "I do not want to tell anyone who is going to listen, nor anyone who will just zone out. It is my life and I'll do what I want with it."

Instantly regretting that last bit, Abathyn bit her lip again. She knew that it would likely be taken in the wrong way, even though it was referencing her actions in a morbid fashion anyway. Another question left the woman nervous, but two names came immediately to her head. "I have two daughters. But I don't even know where they are."
 
Her red eyes glanced down at the floor, and flourishing her secondary wand, Hadan cleaned the blood from the blankets. That made everything look less like a crime scene. But Hadan assumed that the woman would need some blood replenishing potion if she felt dizzy or faint. After losing that much, one would think. However, her eyes darted over the wounds, and she could have sworn she saw something black on her arm. Hadan did not pay any mind to it right now. Hadan turned her red eyes to the woman and she inquired almost knowingly, "Your life, and what you want to do with it. Would that include taking your own life, and therefore, perhaps others as well?" Hadan put her wand away into her robes before she wanted to reach down and see just how deep those wounds were. But Hadan figured that the woman would fight. Hadan glanced over at the woman when she said that she did not know where her daughters were. That struck a nerve because her mother was the exact same way. Hadan murmured, "Do you want to see your daughters again?" Hadan almost prayed that she said yes, or show something that she wanted to see them again. Hadan would be very irate otherwise.
 
Muffled shouting startled the Death Eater, reminding her that this was a psych ward. It felt almost degrading for the woman, with all her pride and dignity. Abathyn didn't want to end up like that, yet she felt it could become inevitable. Feeling awkward as she looked the standing Healer in the eyes, she stated her deal with a poorly-made plan in her mind. "I will let you see my arm, but I will not talk about it." The Dark Mark was barely considered, though Abathyn did know what she would say when asked. History was something that could be evaded with a few lies; a well-finished skill of the woman's.

The murmur of the Healer brought Abathyn to feel almost sympathetic, the tone of her voice seemed like Hadan needed reassurance or something. "Yes, but it won't happen. And that isn't my choice." came the reply, Abathyn looking straight at the other woman.
 
The shouting that had started the woman was not acknowledged by Hadan Johnson. Even she knew that everyone with potential could have ended up just that insane. Hadan would have to see what she could do with the woman before she would end up like that or else it would be inevitable. But the woman then offered to let her see her arm, but then not talk about it. As long as Hadan could heal it, then she would be fine. The moment that Hadan took the woman's left arm into her hand, cradling it, and then placing her wand to heal the wounds did her ruby red eyes see the Dark Mark and all of its glory. Hadan healed, but then she had to question it, as part of her duty here even those she herself recently joined the ranks. Hadan uttered, those her tone was without fear or hate, but it was curious, "You are a Death Eater?" Hadan stared at the patient with a blank look on her face. What was she supposed to do in this situation? She had never had a fellow Death Eater in here in Saint Mungo's and the Auror in here would surely ask questions. Hadan heard the answer and she nodded once. One line came from her lips, and that was, "Never say it won't happen. Because fate has a sense of humor." Hadan knew this for a fact.
 
If Abathyn had realised her Healer was also a Death Eater, then she would have been more relaxed as her arm was taken and the gashes fixed. But the look on her face said how uncomfortable she was with the situation. The pain lifed, much to Abathyn's distaste. It was the thing keeping her grounded. Determined to keep holding on, to not end up like the screaming wreaks in other rooms, she clenched her other fist where Hadan could not see it.

And then came the inevitable question, that one which could be the catalyst in this whole saga. Either the Death Eater could find herself arrested, or she could be lucky. The answer had been in a cupboard in the back of her mind for the whole time she had been talking, and now Abathyn said it. "I got out. Changed my mind and did not want to be a part of the havoc any longer." Would she be found to be lying? Abathyn resisted a reaction to her thoughts. Pretending was a skill that got easier and easier until the lie became a truth. The Healer's other line left Abathyn to offer a slight nod and bow her head; somehow, it gave her the slightest little sight of hope.
 
--Hadan did not think it wise to disclose to a Death Eater, if she was still one or not, that she herself was one. But she wanted to remain in secret and keep her job here in Saint Mungo's. She was only here so that she could keep her image and do what she loved best, which was potion making. This Psychiatrist thing was interesting too, but she preferred the potions. Hadan listened to her answer, and would have to question other Death Eaters just to see if she had indeed left, but she would right it down on her clipboard exactly what she said anyway. Hadan mused, "I am surprised they allowed you to leave. From what I heard, they are a ruthless group that still supports the Dark Lord. However, things are much different now." Hadan knew for a fact that it was hard to leave the Death Eaters, but her mother had done it, but she still supported them. So that was something. Hadan would not let this be known at all. Hadan wondered if the former Death Eater would have anything else to really talk about. "Why not tell me a little more about your children? Because you don't seem to want to talk about yourself actually." This was to make the woman a little more comfortable with the Healer. Hadan might be a cold person, but she was comforting at times.
 
Abathyn's right-hand fist remained clamped shut, and she shook her sleeve back over her left arm when the Healer completed her surveying of it. As the Healer accepted the lie, Abathyn gave an empty smile which faded back into an expressionless face pretty quickly. "Things are different with the Dark Lord gone." Abathyn noticed the Healer's use of the phrase 'The Dark Lord' and looked at her curiously; only Death Eaters were known to name them that.

The Healer asked about Abathyn's children, accurately pointing out the Death Eater's reluctance to speak about herself. She took a breath and replied: "Jaimee is five, Laani is two, and they were adopted because I couldn't look after them. I don't know where they are, and when I did I never got replies to the letters I sent. Not much to tell, really." Her own brutal honesty shocked Abathyn, the words out of her own mouth seemed strange compared to the story of kidnap her sisters had been told.
 
--The smile that the woman possessed was empty, but it faded back to the expression she carried before which was vacant. Hadan's own remained as still and statue-like as possible. Hadan had not really realized that she had used a term that mainly the Death Eaters used, but then again, her whole family referred to him as that. Hadan stared over the female, and she narrowed her eyes, "You look young enough to have not been around since the Dark Lord's demise. The times are so much lighter now, from what I heard from my parents and my parents' parents." Though the latter part was untrue to an extent, as she did not know her true grandparents, but she did know her adopted one, Asparuh Zhefarovich the Third. Tales that she had hard from him were great. Hadan listened to what the woman said about her children. It was almost sad really. Hadan murmured, "Perhaps when you get some treatment and assistance, you will be able to find Jaime and Laani. I have a family member who is good at finding others that are lost." Hadan set her clipboard down on the table. She inquired, "Are you hungry or thirsty? I can have something sent up here if you like."
 
Absentmindedly, Abathyn scratched the area around her Dark Mark. She was incredibly uneasy at being stared at, knowing she was considered crazy and all that. "Exactly my point."

A thought crossed Abathyn's mind, she remembered that day when she still lived in the cave and Maddiie had come to live with her. Perhaps she wouldn't be too busy to come? Doubting that her sister could visit with vague disappointment evident, Abathyn ignored the comment about being able to track down family members and asked her question, cutting through the end of the Healer's turn to talk. "I have a sister, Maddiie Fields. Can you try and get her to come, even though I don't think she'd be able to.."

Thinking carefully over another answer to another question, Abathyn wondered how hungry she actually was. It had to have been 25, 26 hours since her last meal, yet she only felt hungry now it was mentioned. "Actually, I am a bit hungry.." Abathyn trailed off, not wanting to be a nuisance.
 
--Supposedly, that was why the woman may have left, because everything was getting lighter, whereas that was why Hadan had joined was to bring back the good times, the older times where the Dark Lord ruled and Hadan thought that it should just stay that way. Her mouth remained unmoving to speak her mind which she was used to doing at this point. However, she remained silent until the woman asked for a sister, named Maddiie Fields. That sounded familiar, seeing as there was a Maddiie that worked here at Saint Mungo's. However, her last name was no longer Fields. Hadan nodded once, and she stood up for a moment, before she summoned someone to get the woman something hot to eat while she would go fetch this woman. It might be one of those times to really get to the bottom of who this person was. And it might be something bigger than Hadan would have seen before. Hadan murmured, "I'll get them both for you. It'll be a moment." Hadan stepped from the room, her cold red eyes unwavering as she closed the door behind her, and locked it, for safety precautions. It was not long before she returned, with the very person that her charge had asked for.
 
St.Mungos quarters where just a block down from the daily prophet of New Zealand's office. In midday, while the pages of the next prophet issues "were printing", Maddiie sat at her messy piled up desk, Notes, letters, and project of many kind pile up along the wood desk, the woman sorting which of which, before she had to go home in a couple hours. In the middle of getting through the last pile, Maddiie received word about someone she hadn't made contact in a while. It was a shock to the young brunette, Abby was at St.Mungos and was requesting for Maddiie to visit. She began to worried, in frantic mode she pushed aside her work load and headed off to St.Mungos, in matter of minutes she was following a young healer taking Maddiie to where Abby maybe.

Maddiie enter the room, a pale scenery match the very sight of Abby, Maddiie's eyes examining her adopted sister the moment she saw her. At first she wanted to ask question what was wrong and why in all places was she doing here? The words fail to come out, instead she crept a little towards Abby, till her arms wrap around the woman in silence, she was just glad she was still alive never mind hurt. It's been so long since she last saw Abby, and the last time they hadn't parted in good terms. But just to see her breath again, Maddiie could careless of the past right now. Abby was here.

OOCOut of Character:
Hope that's what you wanted ^^
 
[it's perfect, thanks Madz!]
Abathyn was really not surprised when the Healer locked the door behind her. There was a small window on the door, with a wire grid in it. That was the only source of outside light in the room. Abathyn stood up, looking for anything she could possibly use against herself. To her disappointment the room was bare of sharp things, though there was a mirror on one wall. The Death Eater frowned and glided closer to it, noting how her hair was still damp from the water. She took out her wand, thankful that she still had it, and dried her chestnut curls. Abathyn nearly smiled, finding it funny that she still cared about her appearance when there was nothing really normal in her world.

Abathyn heard voices outside and rushed back to where she'd been sitting, tucking away her wand. The voices passed, causing Abathyn to realize they weren't who she thought. She straightened her cloak and stared expectantly at the door, now even more hungry. Abathyn rubbed her wrist with an irritated sigh. Things seemed to pass so much slower here. The woman could remember when she used to spend day after day in her cave, but there she had had things to do. Now, hospitalized for being suicidal, there was no chance that she could pass her time like she used to. Abathyn used to cook, clean and play with her girls and never get bored. None of that would work now.

Abathyn spied a familiar figure through the window, barely having time to register their existence before they burst through the door. She met eyes with her adopted sister, and when she was enveloped in a hug she tensed. Abathyn was oh so relieved to see Maddiie again, but she was so terrified that she would abandon her, too. Abathyn's eyes welled up so she closed them, not wanting this sign of how broken she had become noticed.
 
The St Mungo's waiting room was nearly empty. Since dragging the unconscious woman into the waiting room and depositing her over to the professionals, the hours had passed and Eileen had stuck around, realizing that if she left, not knowing what was happening with the suicidal woman would bother her until she apparated back and found out. Not that they would inform the young auror of the happenings. She was not a blood relative and the healers were a little odd about releasing information.

Eileen was growing sleepy, however, having been sitting in the waiting room for quite a while. She stood, stretching out her legs, not enjoying the pins and needles effect shooting through her veins. It was time to see how this woman was doing, and maybe then she could go back to her hotel and get some much needed sleep. Some vacation. The point was to get away from terror and tragic events, yet this one had crept up so silently, nearly ruining the almost calm mindset she had managed to achieve by taking a peaceful walk upon the beach.

Eileen was not very sure if she was allowed to visit, but seeing no one of any importance around, she made her way to the appropriate room. Several healers had given away the room number purely by accident, after discussing the strange case and the way she was found.

Eileen knocked on the door and waited to be let in.
 
Maddiie sense Abby tense in arms, like a stranger she may have felt awkward in the younger brunette embrace. "It's me Abby, I was just so happy to know that your alive" she said muffling her words, it was hard not tear up in front of her. But she stop herself, and thought strongly for her. She was here for Abby, not to spring her freakish hormones on Abby. Two months and her small bump refuse to show within her linen of her shirt. "What happen?" she asked a little louder, addressing both Abby and the Healer who summon her here.
 
Regardless of whether or not Maddiie Stewart and Abathyn Dalmoir were really sisters, at least this woman may be able to get something more out of her than Hadan could, because they were complete strangers. Hadan would not allow anyone that was just anyone to come through here and question a woman that was almost out of her mind. But even with Maddiie in here, the former Death Eater seemed to not want to talk anyway. Hadan would not want to tell Miriah if she had tried to kill herself to her because it was one scary thing to do, and she did not want to even tell Miriah that she was a Death Eater now. She had a justified reason to join, and her family was proud of her doing so. Just like she had a good reason to hate Quidditch for all of its worth. Hadan would not even ride on a broomstick because she did not like flying or anything. She would not watch a single game, no matter who pleaded her. Not even the man she loves. Hadan suddenly remembered the other request. She stepped out from the room to get Abathyn something to eat.

The Healer returned with a tray and left the door open a crack to let anyone in so long as they knock, and she set the tray full of hot food, that she got. Unlike the muggle hospitals, Saint Mungo's had good food here to eat. She gestured toward the tray for whenever Abathyn wanted to eat. There was enough there to fill a grown man. Hadan heard the question and she answered in a soft, yet piercing cold tone, "She was brought in by an Auror, whom I think is right outside the door here, because she tried to kill herself." Hadan went over to the woman's other side, and she noticed that she seemed to look a little better. Hadan did not know too much on the story, but maybe she would be able to gain some of the trust of her patient, and see deeper into her mind. Right now she would pay to have Kalif's or Asparuh's mind reading ability right now. She would know more information. But now, she was going on intuition. Hadan heard a knock on the door, and with a wave of her wand, she opened it to allow the Auror in.​
 
Abathyn gave a soft sigh, reassured that she had someone safe here. But for how long? She was reminded only of her real sister, the one who didn't keep in contact, and her daughters who could even be dead by now. The woman did not speak her worries, merely wishing her sister could read her thoughts.

Abathyn broke the hug, looking her sister in the eyes. "How is Delilah?" she asked, attempting and failing at sounding like she didn't mind this conversation one little bit. She barely even guessed that Maddiie might have a surprise for her, in fact Abathyn was selfish enough to think only for her own news. How did one tell another that they'd attempted suicide, anyway?

She watched the Healer leave the room, and returned her gaze to her sister who had always been so supportive. "Sorry." was all the Death Eater said. She held her breath for a reply, petrified of what might happen next.

The Healer returned. Abathyn wound a curl around her finger and tugged it tight, blatantly agitated. She offered a nod in thanks at the food, reluctant to go over to it while she had a visitor. Abathyn didn't know the social protocol in this situation no matter how many times she had been there. When Hadan told Maddiie so bluntly what had happened, Abathyn gave a frightened peek at the door, now opening at the Healer's command. An Auror? What if she had seen the Dark Mark? Abathyn would wind up in Azkaban. The Death Eater clasped her hands together again, as if she was wringing out a dishcloth. Her voice shook as she tried to make this situation as normal as possible. "So, Maddiie. Seen my new place? I think you'll like it."

[HOW DID I WRITE THIS. oO]
 
Just when Eileen raised her clenched fist to hammer upon the door once again, it magically creaked open to allow her entrance into the room. Three people: a healer, the patient, and a woman Eileen had never met, already occupied the small space."Hello, I'm Eileen." She finally said.

The auror stepped in further and eyed the patient carefully. It was a confusing situation. What exactly was the woman thinking? Had Eileen saved her from committing suicide? More and more questions began to bombard her mind until she finally asked what was most likely on everyones mind. "What the hell happened!?"

Perhaps it wasn't the most polite thing to ask of a woman who had just been through a traumatic event, but Eileen had been whisked into this ship wreck and right now she needed answers to these countless questions that seemed to be multiplying by the minute.
 
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