I Hate This Part...

[Nicolette Styx]

Nicolette adjusted the shirt of her Pajamas before she released a heavy sighed and plopped down onto the couch. Nothing had really been going the way she wished it to lately, for starters she'd had been feeling extremely crappy the past few days, her best friend was mad at her, and she was so upset with Alex right now that she could barely stand to think about his name. When she felt her stomach lurch again she shuddered and turned to her side, why did Cecily run off when Nicolette needed her the most? 'This really sucks' she huffed and turned her body over to she was laying the the couch stomach down, for the reason the soft material of the couch felt nice against her body.

Until she stopped feeling sick and crummy she was unable to get work done, she even had an issue bugging Alphonse like she used to do. Maybe this was a sign that her weird ways needed to come to a halt, or maybe she just really missed her best friend. She couldn't tell anymore.

 

[Cecily Rambolt]

Cecily ran her hair through her messy hair. Half filled ink well, broken quills and many balled up pieces of parchment littered her desk. Tormented green eyes, scrubbed red from wiping away too many tears, glanced at the fireplace for the sixtieth time since she'd been in lock down in her office. She was conflicted, oh so conflicted. Could she give her friend up to the law? She scooted back her chair to stand then sat back down, knees giving way as the horrifying image of Nicolette rotting in Azkaban filled her distraught mind. Blonde hair fell forward as her hands covered her face, a harsh sob escaping her throat.

---

Hours later, Cecily sat in front of the fireplace, staring into a fire that had long since grown cold. She had to give her a chance, hear her side. Niccy had to have a reason. Jumping up she whirled and apparated into her living room. Spotting Nicolette, who looked as miserable as she, sitting on the sofa, she spoke. "We need to talk."

 

[Nicolette Styx]

Nicolette lifted her head a bit to look at Cecily before she flinched and buried her head back onto the couch for a moment. The sight of Cecily there not only relieved her, but made her sick to her stomach as well, she knew she was probably going to lecture about being a Death eater and such. "Where have you been the past twelve days?" Nicolette asked in a slightly weakened tone before she cleared her throat and turned to face her friend, a look or hurt, irritation, and loneliness all easily seen in her eyes. "I suppose we do need to talk.." Nicolette pushed herself up so she should sit and immediately clutched her stomach, apparently her stomach didn't agree with her moving around so much. After a minute her nausea subsided a bit and she patted a spot on the couch next to her, she figured this was going to be a loooong talk.

 

[Cecily Rambolt]

Hesistantly Cecily made her way to the couch and sat on the edge, rubbing her denim clad legs. "You look like hell," she said bluntly, tucking her hair behind her ears. "I suppose I do too." She sat silently for several moments, her stomach roiling. Rubbing her fingers together she tried to get her nerves under control. Seeing her again, it was like nothing had changed, like they hadn't changed. Could they ever go back the way they had been? Or would Cecily be forced to give her up to the authorities....

The mark, dark and startling on Niccy's skin, seemed out of place. Like a child who had written on themselves in imitation of an older sibling. In a way she couldn't help looking on it as such. Nicolette among Death Eaters? It seemed like a bad dream, like the boogeyman had snatched her friend and convinced her that he was a great playfriend. Turning toward her, one leg drawing up on the couch, Cecily reached out and touched that mark. The skin was smooth, not raised as she'd imagined. Did this mark matter? No of course it didn't. But the intent behind it, what it symbolized. Pure evil. Green eyes met golden and she knew, in her heart she knew, that Niccy was not evil.

"Tell me," she whispered, her voice breaking. "Tell me everything."

 

[Nicolette Styx]

Nicolette shook her softly when Cecily basically told her that she just about as bad as she felt. Being extremely ill for the past for days really didn't giver her the energy to make sure she looked good, in fact she was glad she looked bad. Maybe then Cecily would see what a dumb idea it was to leave her alone for the past couple of weeks. "Hell is so beyond what I'm feeling right now." Nicolette said to herself as she continued to fight back the lingering nausea. When Cecily sat down and pulled her leg up, Nicolette almost gasped in shock when her friend brought a hand over to feel the mark. She had forgotten that she left it uncovered, the mark had been there so long as she had almost forgotten that it was on there. But now that she looked at it more carefully, she realized that it was still as bright and dark as the very day she got it. And that seemed so long ago to her.

When Cecily asked for Nicolette to tell her everything she sighed and pulled her feet up on the couch so she could sit Indian style. Honestly, she was afraid that she would ask this. There was so many things for her to say, but she was afraid to say them. Would Cecily turn her in, would Nicolette have to run from her too? "You wanna know why I got this mark?" She held her arm out so they both could easily see the mark, it looked haunting to most, but to Nicolette it almost looked like art. "When I was 24, I ran way from home, and I was so angry, so hurt, and so confused with myself. I spent some of my time taking it out on everyone else but myself..." Nicolette could easily remember the victims that she had killed, they were always innocent, but it never mattered to her. The dark side of her had taken over and way fully prepared to make sure that she had gotten revenge for the way she was treated when she lived with James. "It's the dark side of me, my other half." Nicolette hadn't seen that side for years, and she was thankful that she hadn't. Her other personality made her do terrible things. "At first I joined the Death Eaters, to help hide myself from James. But then I grew to love the Death Eaters as a family that I never had...their not that bad as everyone says they are." Nicolette brought her hand up to grip the small golden heart locket around her neck and played with it between her fingers.

 

[Cecily Rambolt]

"They're not all good either Nicolette, surely you can see that." Brows drawn together in a frown, confused, Cecily could not help the tears that leaked through. "I've been scarred by Death Eaters." Her fingers came up to touch upon the light pink scars that marred her right jaw. "Both inside and out. People I've cared about, people I've known, have been terrorized by their members. They broke into the school, my school, and kidnapped children. One of my professors was tortured horrifically." She gripped Niccy's hand. "Why are these people your family?"

 

[Nicolette Styx]

Nicolette continued to fiddle with her locket for a moment before she released it and sighed. Cecily wanted to know why she considered these people like her family, it was sort of difficult yet so simple to explain. "For starters, before my parents died they were Death Eaters." It was hard to admit that her parents were dead after all this time of searching to just find out that it was worth nothing anymore. But at the same time she pretty much expected them not to be alive if they left her with James for most of her life. "Second, me and the Death Eaters have something in common, most of us have suffered more than most people could imagine." Nicolette said as she brought her hands forward to place them in Cecily's. she wanted her friend to understand that so much of this had to do with her mistakes of the past.

"I'm not proud of the things I've done, and I know all those people I killed didn't deserve it, but I know i'm not a bad person." She said calmly, trying to get all of this out without follwoing Cecily's example and bust out crying. God only knows that she had done enough of this during the past few weeks.

 

[Cecily Rambolt]

Cecily gripped the other woman's hands, holding on as if to a life line. Her head bowed, tears splashed hotly on her skin. She cried for what Nicolette had suffered, she cried for the loss of something in their friendship, most of all she cried because she knew she could not do it. She could not turn her in. To do so would be sealing her own coffin, breaking her own heart. She loved Niccy. As surely as if they had been separated from the beginning and just found each other; that was how strong the bond was between them. It was unexplainable. She only knew that it simply was. No matter what.

Raising her eyes, locking them with Nicolette's, she saw the good there, shining through those golden eyes. "Niccy," she whispered, voice gone hoarse from too many tears, "what about blood? My blood, my father's blood...he's a muggle Niccy. Death Eaters harm muggles, they hate them. Do you hate them too?

 

[Nicolette Styx]

Nicolette thought hard about the question she was asked, of course she was never really fond of muggles or mudbloods to begin with, but was it really worth explaining to Cecily why she wasn't fond of them. It probably would be so it didn't make Nicolette seem like killer, even if she sort of was. "I supposed...I'm afraid of them actually." She admitted after a moment or so, unlike popular belief, not all mudbloods were victims. Sometimes purebloods were victims as well. "James and his followers were Mudbloods and muggles. Alexander is one too...." She gave examples to help and prove her case. Besides this, she saw some of the weird things that muggles did and she was pretty sure she'd never get used to seeing it. Nicolette had grown up not knowing about them or their world, so a lot of this was new to her. "I promise I would never hurt your or your family, and the Death Eaters know this." Nicolette had made it quite clear that when when she joined that she would not hurt any of those she truly cared about. It would break her heart to do so and she'd rather be killed then to hurt those close to her heart.

Lifting up the locket she opened it up to reveal not only a picture of Nataliia inside, but one of Cecily too. "You are one of my important people after all." Nicolette had replaced the pictures of her parents with her friends, now that she was able to open it she often crack it open to peak inside whenever she was feeling alone. It reminded her that whoever was inside would always be there for her.

 

[Cecily Rambolt]

Cecily broke. With a harsh sob she threw her arms around her friend and hugged her close. Harsh weeping shook her thin frame. If anyone found out she knew about Nicolette, about her mark and alliances, she would be the one in hot water. She could lose it all, her job, her peers respect, possibly her freedom. Yet she would defend this woman, her friend, the sister of her heart, til her bloody death if need be. After what seemed an eternity she pulled back, her breath hiccoughing from her chest, to put a kerchief from her sweater pocket. Cleaning her face, she blew her nose then gave a watery laugh.

"You found it. How did you find it?"

 

[Nicolette Styx]

Nicolette returned the hug tightly, she never should've worried Cecily like this. Her friend didn't deserve to go through the suffering of wondering if Niccy was going to harm her or those she loved. "And so be it, if you found yourself in trouble I would be there." She wasn't going to completely let anyone take the heat for hiding her. Her an Cecily had a strong bond, but thing was surely going to change something between them, Nicolette just hoped it wasn't anything much. After Cecily blew her nose, Niccy couldn't help but crack the first smile that she had in weeks. Boy has she missed this, there was definitely going to be an intense movie session after this.

Staring down at the locket when Cecily pointed out that she found it, she lifted it up and grinned. She had lost this awhile ago and though she might never get it back. She vaguely remembered telling Cecily about it right after she lost it, it almost seemed too long ago to remember. But some tears had been spilled over this thing. It was just good to have it back. "As hard as it is to believe, Kalif had it." She cracked a shy smile. Apparantly she had dropped it that day in the bar and he had picked it up, thank goodness that he did. "He gave it back to me a few weeks ago, he even showed me how to open the damn thing." Nicolette shook her head, she had never been able to open the darned thing till just a little bit ago. It made her look like an idiot not being able to open it, but she really had tried everything to get it open. It just never budged!

 

[Cecily Rambolt]

"Kalif," she murmured, searching her friends face. There was something there, something elusive. Then it vanished and Cecily was left with a nagging feeling. Nervous, she twisted her fingers together, then turned her head. "That day, when Alexander came by. What happened? Did he leave you alone?"

 

[Nicolette Styx]

The way that Cecily said his name and looked at her made Nicolette turn a light shade of red before she averted her gaze to the ground. She suddenly felt like a small child being caught doing something wrong. 'I need to be less obvious with things...' She said to herself when she turned her golden eyes back on her best friends form.

Nicolette could feel Cecily's nervousness beginning to rise and didn't blame her one bit. Alexander was definitely not the person she and Cecily had thought he was when they first met him. There was something dark about him that set something off, he already tried to get her in trouble multiple times. Obviously he wasn't the right guy for her. But without him...who else would she have? "Eh, Alexander left eventually. And he did make it up to me awhile ago but...I don't really want anything more to do with him. He told James where I was.." She had made it loud and clear to him that she was over him. That night so long ago together was the day she decided that no matter what they had gone through, she was better off without him. Now that James was alerted that she wasn't dead, she knew every action she did was going to either help her or doom her. And as usual, Nicolette began to feel nauseous and dizzy again. There was definitely something not right. "There's something wrong with me Cecily, and I can't figure out what it is this time." She fanned herself as she tried to calm down.

 

[Cecily Rambolt]

"I'm sorry to say it, but I'm glad he's gone and won't be back. He wasn't right...at all." Cecily watched as the color slowly drained from Niccy's face as she spoke. "Calm down," Cecily soothed in a soft, gentle voice. She smoothed her friend's hair back and touched the back of her hand to her forehead. "You're warm," she murmured. Taking her hand in hers, she rubbed at her wrist. "Do you want to go to St. Mungo's?" Brow furrowed, green eyes clouded by worry, she looked Nicolette over. She was so pale, her hand was cold. "I won't let James get to you. And you know damned good and well that I have the biggest blokes in the country to back you up," she joked, trying to bring distraction and a bit of humor.

 

[Nicolette Styx]

Nicolette wanted to hug Cecily and never let go. If only keeping James away was going to be that easy. But if anyone knew him well, he was like the darkness. It could consume anyone if they were weak enough to let it in. If James wanted to get to her then he would take anyone down in his way, even Cecily. "I don't want him to hurt anyone important to me though, if he comes.....it'll be my battle." Nicolette said as she stared at Cecily with a serious look. Only if it was truly necessary would she let someone else rid her of the man that destroyed so many lives, including hers.

Covering her mouth to fight the nausea she nodded softly. "Maybe I better get checked out or something." She said once her nausea had gone away once again. Something really bad could be wrong with her and she didn't really feel like dealing with it herself. "Wanna help me up?" She asked, hoping Cecily would accompany her to St. Mungos for just a bit anyways.

 

[Cecily Rambolt]

"I'll go with you, don't you worry," Cecily smiled reassuringly, helping her from the couch with firm, steady hands. "Okay, here we go on three." She counted them down, whirled as slow as she could and suddenly the disapparated from the house to the entrance of St. Mungo's.