I Deserve Every Bit of Pain Life Can Throw at Me

[Katalina Harker]

Everything had finally come to a head and the realization that the one guy that she had ever really loved and who had loved her in return was gone...and he wasn't coming back. When it came right down to it what Kat had done pretty much made her for lack of a better term, slutty. She'd gone from citizen high to the slutty Gryffindor prefect who snogged another boy and got caught by the love of her life.

She had found herself wandering aimlessly around the dungeons and all of a sudden a feeling of anxiety overcame her and she ducked into the duelling chamber. Kat had barely made it in the room before hard sobs overtook her. She hit her knees and rocked back and forth. "WHY? WHY? WHY," she yelled out loud, shaking all over. Looking around she saw the practice dummies, sitting there as if they were staring at her...judging her. Nostrils flared she slowly stood and withdrew her wand. "REDUCTO!" A dummy slammed hard into the wall, shattering it to shreds. "Everyone else want to sit and gawk at the Hogwarts wh0r3," she yelled at the inanimate objects, sounding like a crazy person. "INCENDIO!" The poor defenseless target caught fire and Kat sat and watched it burn, just like everything else in her life lately.

After about twenty minutes Kat was sitting in the middle of the floor, everything around her in ruins. Her face was tear stained and she kept repeating the same phrase over and over again out loud, "You're a worthless little witch. No wonder he doesn't love you."

 

[Eden Silverback]

Eden was walking around just think about life. Like how she and Tohoru where doing alright not perfect but not bad she had friends her little sister was always around but most of all she was going to be able to do what she wanted to do most in life. Continuing her walk she arrived at the duelling chamber's hearing someone cry Eden pushed open the door carefully thinking it was a 1st year homesick. But once the door was open Eden realized it was a much older girl. Walking in slowly so not to scare her Eden took a seat on the floor in front of her and whispered."Is there anything I can do to help? I know whatever it is I can't make the pain go away but I would like to try if you let me."

 

[Lola Rowann]

Lola heard an almighty ruckus from the entrance hall as she was about to enter for breakfast, turning on her heel she made her way down to the dungeon. Aware that any Slytherin might be up to mischief she took out her wand and proceeded along the corridors until she saw one enter the duelling chamber. Frowning slightly as this seemed to be where the noise had been coming from Lola walked over and pushed open the doors. Only to be met by an absolute disaster of a room. Items lay askew, damaged, annihilated, even burnt.

"Just what is going on here?" she looked to the source of someone crying and saw one of her sixth year students Katalina and a younger girl who she knew was Eden.

"Does anyone want to tell me what happened here?"

 

[Katalina Harker]

Kat jumped when she heard someone address her. She looked up and saw a younger girl, a Slytherin, standing over her. "There's nothing you can do. Only thing I can tell you is never fall in love. It's not worth it," Kat spat bitterly, sounding a bit harsher than she had first anticipated. Then her stomach turned when she saw Professor Rowann come in and ask what happened. "Isn't it obivous? I flipped my sh1t and took it out on the practice dummies," she said with no emotion on her face and ice in her tone.

 

[Eden Silverback]

Eden heard what the girl had said and nodded she knew that grl most likely ment it at the time but things could change. Eden steped in front of the girl. "Professor Rowann I will clean up this mess just dont punish her." What was Eden doing? She should let the girl get punished and get the heck out of there Professor Black had told her to stay out of trouble at all costs and being here was asking for it. But she felt she should be here even if it cost her. Standing up strighter lifting her chin up Eden met Professor Rowann's gaze. "Any all damage's that can not repaired please bill me I will cover the cost." Eden stood there waiting for what was going to happen next.

 

[Lola Rowann]

Lola tried really hard to restrain herself from laughing at Kat's choice of eloquent words.
"I can see that" she looked about her once more taking in the carnage as Eden began to speak. For a Slytherin she was not conformed yet to their ideals and this pleased Lola greatly, perhaps there was hope for that house after all.

"Eden that is sweet of you my dear but it takes no time at all to fix" with a wave of her hand in various directions Lola used her skills in wandless and non verbal magic to straighten the room to rights again. It looked ok of course, another person walking in would not know what had transpired in the room and that was the main thing. Lola walked to the podium that the students used for their duelling and sat down looking at the two girls.

Though she herself had not had any boy experience at their age she had taught enough over the years to know when they were the root cause of a young girls problems.
"Over here both of you and sit down, I want to hear all about it. Spare no details, count this as your punishment for now Miss Vanderhol. Remember a problem shared is often halved in measure" with another wave she locked the doors , "the less disruptions I think or chance of any male to simply walk in has now decreased greatly. Would you like to begin?"

 

[Katalina Harker]

Kat looked incredulously at the younger girl. What the hell was she doing? She was going to get herself into trouble and she didn't even know Kat from a hole in the ground. Professor Rowann quickly picked up the mess that she had made and Kat muttered under her breath, "Why can't I fix what I've done so easily?"

When prompted to do so both girls went and sat down, though the thought had crossed Kat's mind to just make a run for it, but she'd probably end up getting in even worse trouble that she was already in. She looked at Professor Rowann, her eyes now glossed over with tears and said, "I thought you professors knew everything that went on in this school. Surely you've heard how horrible a person I am." Kat heard the doors click locked and heard what the professor said about no males walking in and she lost it. "He's not he one who caused this. I am. I'm the one who...who...ugh I can't even say it, I'm the one who threw it all away, the only thing he did was tell me he didn't love me anymore and hell I can't say I freaking blame him," she shouted, pacing back and forth, tears spilling from her eyes.

 

[Eden Silverback]

Eden took a seat on the floor it was a bit cold but than again they were under ground it was not like there was anything she could do about it. At least she would find out what was troubling the girl so much. Hearing that the girl called herself a horrible person Eden jumped up.
"Now you listen to me you female. You are not a horrible person you may have done somethings that were bad but that does not make you a horrible person and I never ever wanna hear you say that again!"
Eden was really mad now she felt like she was going to explode but she had to hold it down.

 

[Lola Rowann]

Lola was about to answer Kat when the younger girl burst out once more jumping to her feet. Lola could only shake her head and let her have her say before turning calmly to Katalina herself.

"My dear child if I were to listen to all the gossip and all the silly stories then my head would explode. I am a very busy woman and the trials and tribulations of every student in this school as fascinating as they are, don't concern me in the slightest. Now on the other hand, if I happen to involve myself in a situation like this for example, I make sure I know all the facts before trying to help at all but I find that the best help is a calm state of mind" she clapped her hands and before them arrived a tray of tea and biscuits.

"Now Katalina, how about you start from the beginning this time and let me know especially who the 'he' is. If that's alright of course".

 

[Katalina Harker]

Kat just looked at the younger girl with an odd expression on her face, but declined to say anything. Looking back to the professor she just listened to her with tears rolling steadily down her cheeks. She desperately wished that this were nothing more than gossip, all a lie, but it wasn't. It was all truth and she felt like the hole in her chest was being ripped open again, making it hard to breathe. Through the tears Kat said in a hushed tone, "Sum...he is...Sumn...I can't say his name. It hurts too bad." She was falling apart and the one thing that had always been there to hold her together was no more. "I hurt him. And for what? A stupid kiss for a stupid Slytherin who cares diddly sh1t about me." Her head was reeling right now and she wanted nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare that she had created for herself.

 

[Lola Rowann]

Lola was at the girls side in an instant and placed her arms about her, with a wave of her hand a box of hankies appeared and she put them by Katalina.
"You cry your heart out Katalina. Get every single tear out. Cry until there is no more room for self pity left, then you say his name. Repeat it and repeat it until you are awash with new tears but keep repeating his name until at last those tears stop too, until at last you can say his name and the hint of a smile shines through and it will. Temptation is always there, we are only human Katalina. You have punished yourself enough by this. The world has a funny way of turning and fate obviously meant for the two of you to be apart at this time. Who knows why? If you do runes or one of your friends do, have them do a reading on you."

Lola released her and poured all three of them a cup of tea, there was just the slightest drop of calming draught applied. Goodness knew it would seem with Eden's reaction to all this that she needed calming as well.
"Drink up dears. You never know Katalina, the two of you may be destined for one another or perhaps your time together was supposed to be short. Whatever the long term outcome, you can not keep beating yourself up about this. You are essentially a very good person, the universe will sort itself out. There is an imbalance somewhere that needs fixing is all",
she sipped her tea contemplating, "perhaps you should go to professor Glasson as well and have your numbers done. Do you do arithmancy? knowing your hearts desire by help here. It isn't often what we think it is".

 

[Katalina Harker]

Forgetting about how awkward it was Kat fell limp into Professor Rowann and sobbed hard. It was the first time since the day the event had actually happened that she'd openly cried about it. Lately all she did was lie in her bed and think about it, shedding tears only when the pain got too bad, but here she was in the arms of her teacher crying like a child. Just barely audibly she started repeating his name over and over again, each time feeling like their was a dagger straight through her heart, but she deserved this pain and maybe feeling it like this would help her be able to heal faster than she was when she was trying to make herself numb. "Sumner. Sumner. Sumner," over and over and over until eventually no sound came out at all and she was simply mouthing the word.

Essentially a good person. Well that made one person who thought so. Right now Kat couldn't see the good in herself and she didn't know if she ever would again. She simply nodded when the professor recommended Runes or Arithmancy to tell what the outcome of this horrible mess would be. She already knew her hearts desire, she didn't need numbers or tiles to tell her that. Kat took the tea and sipped gingerly on it, feeling some sense of calm come over her and then she knew that it must have been laced with a calming draught which she was actually a bit thankful for.

 

[Lola Rowann]

Lola watched the young girl, watched and listened. Felt achingly sorry for her and knew there was nothing she could do to ease her pain but be there for her. The boys name was repeated over and over and over until she couldn't say it any longer.

"That's it sweetie, let it go. Let him go" she looked at both girls, thankful that she was not in the midst of puberty like they were. It was a difficult time, everything seemed to last forever, everything seemed always so dramatic. She wished she could tell her that she would possibly have her heart broken a dozen more times before she would finally find 'the one' at all but thought it best not to. There was a time and a place for most things and this just wasn't one of them.

 

[Eden Silverback]

Eden sat back and watched what was going on. The girl was stupid for crying over some boy. Eden knew that much but she was not going to be saying anything. She wanted to hurry up and get out of here she had things that she wanted to study so badly but she needed to get the ok to do that. Drinking her tea Eden thought about what was going to be going on with her in the next fews years. True she had a greta boyfriend who would do anything and everything for her but maybe she would want someone older and maybe hotter or maybe someone who understood her and what she wanted. Shaking her head Eden tried to clear her thoughts of all the crazyness that was going on around her.