I Can't Believe My Eyes

[Rhianne Cade]

It was one bright early morning on a weekend when Rhianne made her way to Eyelops Owl Emporium. She decided to come in early since she wanted to finish work early. She didn't have any plans for the night but she just wanted to tuck in early. Make herself some decent dinner coupled with the best wine she received from her parents as a congratulatory gift on her job acceptance. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she remembered her life when she was a student in Hogwarts. She couldn't believe that she would be back in Obsidian Harbour as an adult. She sighed with sadness and shook her head. No reason to dwell on the past. What she experienced before shaped her up now.

Grabbing the front of her jacket, she was nearing the Daily Prophet when she caught sight of something. Or rather someone. The former Gryffindor stopped herself as she stared at the person a few meters away from her. She didn't know what to do. The shop was just a few blocks beyond and she had to pass through to get there. She discretely walked to the side across the cobbled street, hoping against hope that she would go unnoticed. She couldn't believe that this day would come. Yes, she knew this would come but didn't expect it to be this soon. She was not prepared to face this person. She wondered when she would be prepared.

 

[Robert Kain]

It had been years since Robert had been walking the road of Obsidian Harbour, but as time would have it, here he was once more, with two students in tail. He'd offered to take them both during the holidays, and in preparation for their time at Hogwarts, he had accompanied Isaac and Daphne to the shops. He'd often helped fill the role of a father on occasion to them both, although in Daphne's case the feeling were not mutual. He'd never had any children of his own, and at this point in his life he was happy to spend it with his nieces and nephews.

There had been times he'd thought of those from his past, but the idea of contacting them with so many years passed, wasn't something Robert could stomach. The last fifteen years had been particularly gruelling for the former Gryffindor, and it had only been in the last 24 months that he was finally settling down and piecing together a life of his own. As Isaac stopped outside the Quidditch Supplies, Robert eyed the rest of the street as he waited, ignoring the sounds his niece was making in frustration. They'd gotten here early, and soon they would be looking for some breakfast. Everything felt so much smaller than it had done twenty years ago, and as Roberts eyes scanned the street his eyes fell on a few people as they passed. In an hour or two the cobbled street would be roaming, but as it were he was able to see clearly who was nearby.

His eyes caught sight of a woman, not too far from himself, and a wave of shock went through body. Quickly he turned back to the window to which Isaac continued to pour, wondering whether that really had been who he thought it was. If it were the girl from his past, how would he ever be able to explain why he had disappeared the way he had? Surprised she'd even be in these streets, he turned to have another look. Yes, it was definitely her. He would recognise her face anywhere. Unsure whether she had spotted him, Robert decided to watch as she was about to pass him. Maybe she wouldn't recognise him?

 

[Rhianne Cade]

Despite the desperation of not being spotted, Rhianne's steps faltered making her slow down. She was bending her head down, pretending to look at her shoes. She wanted to go to Robert. Ask him how he was. Why he left. Just the mere sight of him brought back many memories and questions to her. She remembered everything between them. One thing still puzzled her though. He was meant to ask her something at the first and last Yule Ball they attended together but was not able to. This peaked her curiosity until now.

She slowed her steps more and looked to Robert's direction, thinking that he was not looking at her. However, it seemed like all the stars and instances connived when her eyes stared into another pair of eyes. Eyes that once looked at her with love and care. Rhianne's feet stopped as she continued to gaze into the man she had loved before. For Merlin's sake, Robert Kain was the first man she loved and despite the many years that passed she still felt something for this man in her heart. With her eyes on him, her lips partly opened yet no words came out except for a soft, "Rob..." The nickname that she called him back when they were still students.

 

[Robert Kain]

There was no denying it was indeed his ex-girlfriend as she appeared to stop in the street. Neither one of them really knowing what to say, he turned his head back to his family. "Here" He said, reaching into his back pocket to retrieve a wallet. "Take this and find your cousin some food" He added, thrusting some Galleons into Isaacs hand. He needed a minute, and it would only make it more of an awkward situation than it already was if they were watching. "I'll join you in a moment" He nodded, watching them wander off down the street. It wasn't as though they'd get lost, they did visit the village by themselves now they were at Hogwarts.

Once Daphne had reluctantly followed her cousin, Robert turned his attention once more to the girl behind him. He thought he heard her say him name. Turning to face Rhianne, he glanced up and down at her attire. What was she doing in Obsidian? She must have an important reason to be here now. "Good Morning Rhianne" He finally replied formally, unable to shake the years of harsh training from his voice. Where would they even begin to repair what they once had? Although on the other hand, it would be unnatural to jump to such conclusions that they would even want to. But they had a history, and Robert would have been a fool to deny that he still thought back on their time together once in a while. Everything had been so complicated when they'd been together, especially with Larissa's presence always on the scene. He took a few steps across the street, lightly touching her arm to pull her aside, out of the stream of morning shoppers. "I didn't expect to see you here" He added. If he were still the boy she'd once known, he would have felt nervous of whatever reaction she could give for his sudden appearance. As it happens, he'd been through worse, and he was calm as he attempted to reintroduce himself.

 

[Rhianne Cade]

Now that they had both acknowledged each other's presence, there was no escaping each other. One had to make the first move of talking to the other. Rhianne watched as Robert turn around and gave something to a little boy. She took this time to really look at her ex-boyfriend clearly. He looked different now yet still the same for her. This made her wonder where he had been all these years. Of course, she had been gone as well ever since she left Hogwarts. Soon enough, she saw the boy and a girl wandered down the street. She didn't know what to feel. Robert would have kids at their age now.

She was watching the kids go and didn't notice that Robert's attention was already on her. She felt that someone was looking at her, she shifted her eyes and found him looking at her attire. He greeted her good morning to which she was not able to reply as she continued to look at him, afraid that if she would blink, he would vanish. She suddenly became conscious at what she wore. She cursed herself for not wearing something else, then again, she didn't expect to meet him that day. The former Gryffindor watched him cross the street and felt shocked when he didn't hesitate in touching her, pulling her aside, out of the way of the morning shoppers.

"I didn't expect to see you here" They were face to face now, less than three feet apart. Rhianne could feel tears about to form in her eyes but she tried to stop them from falling. She must admit that no matter how many years had passed, this man in front of her still evoke strong emotions from her. Just like before in the student lounge that one night. She cleared her throat and gave him a small smile. "Yeah. I didn't expect to see you." Unconsciously, her right hand went out to touch his cheek, feeling his light stubble. His manly warmth caught her attention and that was when she realized what she did. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to remove her hand away from him.

 

[Robert Kain]

Before he realised what was happening, Rhianne had reached up and touched his face. Taken by surprise, he stepped back a little, his own hand reaching up to take hers, moving it away and releasing it to it's original position. "Rhianne please" He said simply. He hoped she didn't still have feelings for him, considering so much time had passed. He'd been through a lot in the time they'd been apart, and it would take more than just a quick conversation for them to fully understand what the other hand been through in that time.

"Do you want to talk? Perhaps over breakfast?" He offered. They didn't have to go to the same place his family had found, but if she was in no hurry on that morning they would at least be able to talk briefly about how they felt right now. Robert was curious as to what she'd been doing all these years, and he felt that he at least needed to tell her why things ended so abruptly as they had, even if it was so long ago.

 

[Rhianne Cade]

Robert's gesture was expected on Rhianne's part. However, it still hurt when he flinched and took a step back, all the while removing her hand from his face, like she was a person who had an incurable disease. She also took a step back instinctively, cradling her hand with the other against her front. She tried to muster a brave face in front of him. "So rude of me. Sorry.", she curtly said. She glanced around at the passersby, avoiding his gaze, void of emotions he once had for her.

She looked back at him when he offered to talk over breakfast. Do you?, she almost blurted out at him but stopped herself. "If it is not a bother for you, then I guess breakfast is okay." She glanced again across the street. "I don't want to intrude on your time with your children.", she said stiffly. She took out her wand, conjured a small piece of paper in which she wrote a small note for Preston Paine using her wand. She then charmed it to fly like a small bird towards the shop, bearing the news that she would come in late and with a promise to close the shop for him. Afterwards, she put back her wand and looked at the man in front of her. "Where to?", she asked mildly. She could easily refuse but this could be her only chance in getting some answers from him on everything. She would be a liar if she wouldn't admit that she hoped that one day, they would be okay. But if this was not what was intended for her, then at least, a closure so that somehow she would fully heal and move on. She may have had relationships after him but this was like an unfinished chapter in her life.

 

[Robert Kain]

Robert noted her reaction to his rejection, realising their need to talk was more important than once first thought. He watched her face as she looked away, and while he felt a little guilty that she may have held on to feelings they'd once had so long ago, he had to reassure himself he could be forgiven. He nodded as she agreed to breakfast, and waited for her to send a message to someone. He didn't want to keep her from her business any longer than he was required to, but Rhianne seemed particularly keen to follow him. "They're not my children" He stated as they began to walk down the increasingly crowded street. If they were going to clear the air, he better start with his family. "The boy, he's Alex's youngest son." Back when Robert and Rhianne were seventh years, his oldest brother Alex had married a lovely Beauxbatons graduate, and their daughter Lillith had been Robert's first niece. "Lillith is in her twenties now" He added, unsure as to whether she remembered that far back. "And the girl is Daphne, Emily's daughter". Somehow both his older muggle siblings had managed to marry into a wizarding family, and the next generation of Kain seemed to be fully equipped with powers of their own. "There are a few others, but they're not at Hogwarts yet" He finished, hoping that he'd explained well enough his current situation.

"What about you?" He swapped the question back to her, curious to know whether she'd had her own, or whether the single life had been something she found herself coping with too. They reached a small café on the corner of the street, and Robert waved his arm in the direction of the shop, offering her to enter.

 

[Rhianne Cade]

So they were his niece and nephew. Well, some of many others. Rhianne was embarrassed to conclude that in Robert; however, she must admit that she was able to breathe in relief upon knowing that they were not his. Robert was telling her about them although she thought to herself that he really didn't need to bother as he was not to answer anything to her. Keeping her thoughts to herself, she just nodded.

They continued walking until they reached a cafe on the corner of the street where Rhianne usually got her lunch whenever she fancied something different when she was working. As soon as they were near the door, her former boyfriend returned a question of similar context to her. She pondered if she should answer him that his sudden disappearance made it difficult for her to move on with her life. Settling for a curt answer, she replied, "None.", she showed her left hand, with the ring finger bare, before she opened the door of the cafe and entered. She didn't look back at him for she assumed that he would follow her inside. She made her way for a small table on the farthest corner of the cafe away from the street window. Taking her seat, she clasped her hand, her right absently stroking the ring-free finger, her eyes looking at a distant.

 

[Robert Kain]

Robert followed Rhianne into the cafe, taking a seat opposite her. He was surprised to hear that she had no children of her own, but maybe that was due to personal preference. He would have liked his own, but life had gotten in the way, with both his career and the few years following it. He waited for someone to take their order, already knowing what he wanted to eat. It didn't escape his attention that Rhianne was playing with her hands, and wondered if she were nervous. So much time had past, it was difficult for Robert to comprehend why she felt this way. During Hogwarts they had had an on off relationship, that had concluded in their final year as they had gone their seperate ways. They'd tried to make things work at the time, but there always seemed to be something getting in the way. He wasn't sure now though as to what he was meant to say. he could hardly apologise for actions taken nearly two decades ago, as he was no longer that boy. Both adult that sat at this table were new, and Robert could only think that they should begin once more from the start. "So, What did you do after Hogwarts?" He began, trying to see if she would open up about her job.

 

[Rhianne Cade]

Rhianne was looking at a distance while Robert was across her. She tried to avoid his gaze as she was afraid of what she could see on those eyes. Two decades had passed and they had grown into different people. Too different from the students they were. Only a few things she could guarantee to herself. One, Robert still held a special place in her heart. Two, well, she didn't know what else. She was hoping that this breakfast could somehow help them clear things that needed to be cleared between them. For it could help them move on with their lives or maybe, Rhianne thought with a small light of hope, just maybe they could start once again. A clean slate. A fresh chapter. But those were just wishful thinking. The woman didn't want to get her hopes up.

She shifted her gaze toward the interior of the cafe as she tried to see if they would be entertained by a server soon when Robert asked about her life after Hogwarts. She settled her gaze on the man in front of her and clasped her hands together. "I went home to my parents for a year before coming back and once worked for the Department of Magical Catastrophes." She paused as she recalled what happened during that time. "I didn't stay long though. I - I had to go home when my mom --",her eyes went misty as she struggled to keep her tears at bay."When my mom died.",she managed to whisper out the words. Strange that she felt better after saying it to him. It was during those times when she wished that she was still in Hogwarts where she still had the man in front of her comforting her like he always did. But he wasn't there. Holding his gaze, she continued."I stayed home for a couple of years after her death to help my dad cope with her loss. I don't have any siblings so my dad only has me.He was better now." Tucking her hair behind her ear, "Then, a couple of months ago, I decided to come back here and work. I am working as a shop assistant at the Eyelops." She didn't mean to tell him about her present job but it just sort of slipped out. She gave him a weak smile before asking about him. "How about you? What did you do after you dis-", she stopped herself, "I mean after Hogwarts?" She looked around the shop again searching for the server. What took them so long to serve?, she asked herself.

 

[Robert Kain]

Robert listened as Rhianne spoke about her family, never once taking his eyes away from her. Hearing that she had had her own difficulties, he felt a pang of guilt at not being there for her. What could have been different if they'd been in each other lives during their harder times? It sounded as though she'd spent most of her time looking after others than herself, but at least she'd had a chance to pursue a job she enjoyed, working at the Eyelops now. He knew it. That's why she was around this area. He copied her smile, grateful that she had opened up so much so quickly. He knew he didn't really deserve to know how about her after what he'd done during their time in school.

The server came over to their table just as Rob was about to speak. Taking a sip of water, he knew he was going to have to just be honest with her. They'd grown apart after the yule ball in their seventh year. It had always been difficult to talk to Rhianne during Hogwarts, Larissa was always there. "Once we graduated, I returned home to help Alex with Lillith, and since the twins were attending Hogwarts Scotland it was easier to visit them there" he began, taking another sip of water, hoping their food would follow shortly. "You know I never knew what I wanted to do" He added truthfully. He'd been more or less having an easy ride through the school, having fun. His trouble was that he never took anything too seriously, not until his later years. "I spent four years doing odd jobs. Event planning mainly. When I was twenty two, Larissa stayed with me for a few months before I had to leave for the army" His voice had suddenly gone a little quieter. It certainly hadn't been his first choice, and though he didn't realise it at the time, but the life event would take more out of him than he'd ever begin to imagine. "I stayed there for seven years though, until I had to pull out" He added, glancing down to his glass of water, wondering whether it was a bad time to take the topic too deep. It was only a catch up after all. "I spent the next few years back in America, but I've recently moved back to New Zealand to look for new opportunities, and support those guys of course" he finished, nodded his head towards the door, suggesting his family who now attended HNZ.

 

[Rhianne Cade]

While Rhianne was telling Robert about her post-Hogwarts life, she noticed that he never took his eyes away from her. Rhianne was happy at this, but nervous all the same because this made her wonder what he was thinking about her at that time. This prompted her to think how things would have changed when they were still together at those times.However, those thoughts faded away when she saw Robert smiled back at her.

Just as she finished telling him what happened to her, their server came to bring them water and take their order. She let Robert choose their breakfast and was somehow surprised that he still remembered what she would like. With her hands around her own glass of water, she listened as he was telling her about his life after Hogwarts. She remembered the part where he returned home to help his brother with her niece. After that, they lost contact. She was even shocked yet understanding on Robert not knowing what he wanted to do. Listening to him doing odd jobs for four years touched her heart. She felt guilty at this, not being there to advice him somehow. Upon hearing Larissa's name made her grip her glass and finally took a sip from it. She could still remember what Larissa was capable of. Last she heard, she got married. When Robert mentioned joining the army, Rhianne's eyes widened at this, she knew how hard life was in the army.Seven years was a long time. Another possible reason why he was not seen around New Zealand. Her face brightened upon hearing him moving back to New Zealand.

"I see. Is that why you are here in Obsidian Harbour now?",she asked. Lame question. She knew that they were both tiptoeing on the topics they were discussing. It felt like they were avoiding the one topic why they were in this situation.She wanted to ask him but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Questions like Are you dating someone now?,Why you left me suddenly,What was your question back at the Yule Ball? and Do you still care for me? Those questions were swirling in her head and at the same time, brought a slight ache in her heart. She felt the atmosphere warmed which made her shrug out of her jacket, her arm now visible to their eyes. She was already trying her best to hide her other art and she didn't know how long it would take for the man across her notice it.

 

[Robert Kain]

Rhianne was clearly listening intently as he spoke, and he nodded at her response. "I guess so. I could return to America but I've help Alex and Leah enough. I may as well do something for myself now, although to be honest I'm just grateful at the chance" He said absent-mindedly. A few years ago he didn't expect he'd ever reach his 35th birthday, and now that it was round the corner he had to make the best of what he was given.

As the server came and brought their food, Rob poured them both some water, and noticed as Rhianne took off her jacket. It didn't quite register to the man for a moment that she had tattoos, and he was odly surprised. He wouldn't have previously taken her for someone to do that, but upon spotting some ink on her finger, his heart pained slightly in his chest. What did that mean?

He sighed quietly to himself, knowing they were going to have to go deeper if they wanted any kind of friendship back. It was ridiculous to assume they could pick up where they left off without bridging the gap. He glanced up to try and meet the womans eyes, years of high school guilt washing back over him at his reminder at how he once treated her, and how he left things. "Rhianne. Back at Hogwarts" He started, unsure where he was going with this. He wanted to tell her he was sorry, even if he was a different person now, someone who wouldn't do those things, he still felt he'd never truly apologied for his youth. "I'm sorry. For everything that happened. During fourth year, during the Yule Ball.." He trailed off, his fork picking at his omelette as his eyes droped to his plate. He wasn't even sure if she remembered what happened, but he wasn't one to start a new foundation on top of a broken past. He wanted to tell her how he'd meant for things to be different, but with so much time now having past, it wasn't sure whether it really helped anything.

 

[Rhianne Cade]

Rhianne nodded at Robert's answer as to why he was here in New Zealand. At the mention of doing something for his own life, she couldn't help but feel hopeful that somehow along the way, she would become a part of his life again. She smiled at Robert, hoping her smile would convey her agreement on his statement.

Their food finally came, the smell making her a bit hungry than she had expected. The coffee she had before she left her house was no match for the breakfast this man ordered for them. She was taking off her jacket while he poured them water. However, as soon as she folded the jacket on her lap, she caught him stare at her body art, especially the one on her finger. Small it may be, but her ex-boyfriend's eyes were excellent on noticing small details about her. Still, this quality of his was endearing until now. She clasped her hand around the table utensil, her heart pounding fast and maybe loud, hoping that he would not ask about her tattoo. She could explain the one on her arm but how would she explain the small one?

Rhianne was about to dig into her meal when she heard him quietly sigh. She stilled her breath, waiting for what he would say next. She was almost certain that whatever came out of his mouth would be the main reason why there were in that cafe now. She looked up to observe Robert just in time for him to look up and meet her eyes. She didn't know what to do except stare back at them, trying to decipher the emotions in them."Rhianne. Back at Hogwarts." This was it. They were going to discuss everything that transpired back in their Hogwarts years. "Robert,I -",she was about to cut him off but lost her voice as she continued looking at him as he struggled for words to say."I'm sorry. For everything that happened. During fourth year, during the Yule Ball.." Then Robert trailed off, eyes dropped at his plate. Her eyes became misty. She sensed that he wanted to say more but was not sure how. "I'm sorry,too. For making it difficult for you." She was so young at that time, having a hard time letting go of her first love."Yule Ball...", she started,"You were supposed to say something but was not able to...",she even trailed off, wondering how she would continue on this. She was broken at that time when he didn't send her a letter anymore. When he just disappeared. Her own eyes dropped, glanced at his other hand and contemplated placing her own over his. She didn't want the previous episode to happen again. It was painful enough already to her when he stepped back from her. She took the risk, placed her hand over his, not caring anymore if that same hand bore the ink art she was trying to hide from him.

 

[Robert Kain]

It would have been pointless to assume Rhianne had forgotten about the Yule Ball, His hand flinched as his ex put her hand on top, but he couldn't bring himself to pull away this time. At least it was more appropriate than before, and after everything they'd been through he couldn't deny they still shared some sort of bond, whatever that was now. He looked up at Rhianne, wondering whether she really didn't know what he was going to say that night, or whether she just wanted to hear him say the words. There was no point hiding it anymore. She might as well know. "I was going to ask you to marry me" he said outright, recalling how nervous he'd felt that evening, surrounded by so many people. "I didn't because it didn't feel right. Not because of us, but because of everything around us." Larissa had no doubt been in the same room, and he'd decided his impulsive decision would be best left to a time they could be alone, although that never happened. "I'd been ready to ask you for some time, I'd had the ring since summer. But unfortunately after the Yule Ball, things only got more complicated" he added. He wouldn't be able to change the past, and he occasionally wondered how different things would have been if he'd just finished his sentence that night. But what happened had happened and this was how their lives had turned out. He lifted Rhianne's hand in his, his thumb stroking the back of it as he considered their time at Hogwarts. He'd wondered if he would ever tell her that that had been his intention, but now it was out in the open he didn't know if it would receive a good response.

 

[Rhianne Cade]

Rhianne was relieved when Robert didn't pull back his hand. He looked up at her again and, again, she was lost in his eyes. She didn't realize that she was holding her breath when she asked him about the Yule Ball question. She remembered the velvet box that he showed her but then he never got to the question when other people started interrupting them for one reason or the other. And when he finally told her what the question would have been, she could not help but smile. She could not even stop herself from blushing slightly when he explained about the ring. This made her wonder if he still had it. She didn't get to see what it looked like but she was sure that she would love it. She didn't know what to say as she kept staring into this man who still held a special place in her heart,probably next to her parents. She watched as he lifted her hand in his and stroked it with his thumb, just like always did before back when they were still in Hogwarts. "I - I don't know what to say. I would have said yes at that time.", she managed to say it softly. She would still yes if he would ask her again. She smiled at him, their breakfast already forgotten. She was looking at their hands, her small tattoo just hidden underneath, right on her ring finger, while Robert's thumb caressing her hand like it was a fragile thing.