Hopelessly Devoted

[Nathaniel Hilsinger]

Being in Bondi wasn't something that Nathan wanted right now, not because he hated the gorgeous weather and beaches but because the woman he loved was being an idiot and hiding afor some reason. He couldn't figure out what he'd done or even what she might have done to make this happen, in fact, everything was perfect between them lately. Very few fights and when there were them it was over something arbitrary and was fixed in a moment after a quick internet search to tell him that Melodie was actually right and that actor was in the other movie. He'd come to terms that he was going to be considered a step-father soon enough which had freaked him out a bit at first and that his life wasn't quickly adaptable any more but now the man liked it. It was all because of the brunette who he'd argued with during his cousins wedding and had known during their time at Hogwarts because of the man. So with all of these positive things on his mind he was annoyed that she wasn't forthright with whatever the problem was and had camped out in the only place he knew she could be comfortably.

Not bothering to knock, Nathan just walked into the previously used home where almost everything was gone except the bare necessities. The sandy-haired man flicked his blue eyes around with frustration and called out, "Melodie! I know you're here. Could you stop being an idiot and talk to me, please?" Nathan knew that his girlfriend would know that he meant idiot in the kindest of ways as she called him the same frequently as a term of endearment. He knew that it must've seemed strange to other people but for them it just worked but they never called each other this in front of Aiden and Lucas because they didn't need to grow up thinking it was acceptable to treat people like that. Context was everything. They wouldn't realize this for sometime and truth be told, he didn't like the idea that they might think that he could be serious about his words and that he meant it harshly when it was like saying 'my love' but with less of a sickly sweet after taste left in his mouth after he said it and more cheek to his voice. With this in his mind it occurred to Nathan that maybe he had called her idiot before on a bad day and she just wasn't appreciating the underlying meaning and he'd completely missed the emotional queues which he frequently did so he swallowed hard as he waited for her because he wasn't about to go searching the house when he knew she heard him.​

 

[Melodie Lowe]

The years were dragging on and Melodie Lowe wasn't getting any younger, in fact after her twenty-sixth birthday had passed Melodie had begun to accept that her life was effectively over and that the best of her years had been and gone, wasted on motherhood and a failed marriage followed by a number of further failed relationships. That wasn't to say she believed that having her sons was a complete waste of time, or that she regretted it, but when she was alone in silence she found herself contemplating how her life could have been different if she had not rushed into a relationship with Adam and let herself be abandoned at the altar of her wedding. What would her life be if she had let her teenage years drag on, if she had stretched her memories of sneaking firewhisky from the kitchens with Izaak and Marcus, maybe then she wouldn't be feeling as though in approaching her twenty-eighth birthday she was approaching her grave having done none of the things she had promised her schoolgirl self that she would. Her recent relationship with Nathaniel had, for a certain length of time, kept these thoughts at bay, but now the woman found herself hiding out from him in her bare Bondi apartment that she thought she had left behind, harbouring a secret she never thought she'd have to face with anyone again. After having her twin sons at a young age without the support of their father Melodie had swore she never wanted children out of wedlock again, she'd promise herself a husband, a stable job and a home were all that would possess her to ever hair the pitter patter of tiny feet again, but now it seemed that void of these circumstances the noise was dancing through her head once again. She'd made the mistake once before and believed herself, for a brief moment, pregnant with Izaak's child. But thankfully for the best friends it was a situation they did not have to face as they had thought. Now it seemed it was Izaak's cousin, Nathaniel who would have to face this with her, that was if she would admit it to him in the first place.

Melodie's relationship with Nathaniel was a confusing one, not only for them, but for those around them. It was assumed they were together, they shared the same bed most nights, and Melodie had a drawer of clothes and a toothbrush at Nate's house. He read bedtime stories to her sons at night and had bought them each a miniature broomstick (much to her disgust) they even spent Friday nights on the couch drinking butterbeer and bickering about which actor had previously starred in which film. Presumably, she had moved out of her Bondi apartment and into his, her sons in tow. But now that she found herself back in the bare apartment, hungry enough to contemplate eating a tin of beans that inhabited the apartment for longer than she had, she realised that the reason she still had a key and a toothbrush in the bathroom was because she wasn't ready to admit that she and Nate were an item. She didn't refer to him as her 'boyfriend' or use any other affectionate names for him, in fact she was prone to calling him 'stupid' or 'idiot' in a mock tone, in the nicest way possible of course. Ever since they had fought over their broken down rental at Izaak's wedding which led to them sleeping together, all they seemed to do was bicker about the silliest things. They weren't unhappy in their relationship though, they never considered any fight serious, they were both just people filled with a fire that they often set loose on one another and usually these temper tantrum rows led to them passionately making up within minutes. But at twenty-seven, scarred and used, Melodie was not ready to put a label on their relationship or commit completely, let alone have a baby with Nathaniel.

Looking down at her swollen belly, the twenty-seven year old sighed. There was no pretending or hoping that she may not be with child any more, because five months along and bursting out of her old and stained 'Frankie Says Relax' tee shirt there was no denying it; Melodie Lowe was pregnant again, and as the sight of that last old tin of beans was turning her stomach she knew that she could not hide out here from Nathaniel for much longer. Opening the fridge to confirm that, yes, it was completely empty the young woman jumped, hearing her name being called in the furious tone she knew to be her 'boyfriend's'. She spun around on the balls of her feet, there was no point in hiding any longer, the apartment was only small and there were no more hiding spots left now that Nate had broken in. "In here." she stated, without feeling, she had given up the fight and it only took a minute for Nathaniel to answer her call. As she heard his steps across the linoleum floor she didn't turn to face him, instead she let her hands fall protectively around her swollen stomach, "I have something of yours," she began. Finding the courage to admit that she was pregnant with his child and had cruelly and selfishly refused to tell him for all this time she turned around, to let him piece together the story for himself.

 

[Nathaniel Hilsinger]

Nathaniel Hilsinger was not a teenager anymore, that much was abundantly clear, and he didn’t wish to have relationships like that of his youth. He tired of pining over people and having them pine over him. The man wanted something more real and he wanted it with Melodie Lowe. He wasn’t sure why but most days he wasn’t certain of anything so why would that be any different. She just made his heart feel lighter than it had been most days before they had unceremoniously gotten together. Some days it was exhausting but it came with the role of being with Melodie but that didn’t make it any less than what it should be. He never pictured that as he slowly ebbed onto thirty years old he would be in a semi-serious relationship with a woman who had narrowly been married and had kids but the more she was around the better it seemed. It wasn’t all roses, however, as there were moments when he wanted nothing more than just to be able to have time by himself and be commitment free but these were short-lived. The longer moments were when he remembered that his cousin had been in a relationship with Melodie and as confident he was, Nathaniel couldn’t help but be worried that he was constantly playing second fiddle to his holier than thou cousin. Now was one of those moments that he felt anxiety consume him with the thought as he had been away from Melodie for longer than he liked and without an explanation. Second fiddle or not he deserved to know why he was being kept awake from an empty half of their bed.


Demanding that he be told what the exact situation was, Nathan called out for her in her apartment that most nights she didn’t spend her time. In fact, he wasn’t certain why she still paid for the place but he didn’t bring it up and probably never would. It was easier this way. When Nate heard her voice he followed it, walking quickly and with purpose but stopping when he found the room and he leaned against the door frame. He opened his mouth to question her but she beat him to the punch. “Oh?” he asked, pursing his lips as he waited for her to clarify as she turned to face him. As he was so pleased to see her face he completely lost what she was trying to show him and he walked toward her, bringing his lips gently to hers and about to pull her waist closer to his when he felt something blocking him from doing so. He took his lips from her and looked down slowly and cautiously as if he was just discovering a bomb. The man swallowed hard and said in the faintest of voices, “Oh.” For a long moment he stared, unable to say anything and barely able to think. As committed to Melodie he was, Nathaniel hadn’t imagined having a baby so soon. Of course, he knew one day it would happen because he knew one day that he wanted to marry her. Not now. It was far too soon but he felt like he could let himself be there with her if things continued the way they had been up until recently when she scared away from him. “Merlin’s beard,” he whispered as he rubbed his jaw, still looking down at the pregnant belly. He couldn’t say he knew much about babies, in fact he knew nothing about them, and he knew even less about pregnancy so before he inadvertently became attached to the idea he shifted his gaze to the brunette.

The man knew that it was a delicate topic and he didn’t want to upset her so he asked, “How long?” Nathaniel didn’t quite know how this had happened because with muggle protection and spells they should have been more than safe from this conundrum. He looked back down and wondered what if she had ran because she feared he wouldn’t be a good father because of something he had done. Nate couldn’t imagine what had brought her to run from him because, while this lead to him being very anxious, he wouldn’t have dashed off as quickly as she seemed to. He wondered if this meant that they had to get married and knew that even if he loved her that it wouldn't be right for them now but maybe she wanted that out of him. Looking like a fish out of water he looked into Melodie's eyes, hoping for guidance.

 

[Melodie Lowe]

Melodie could feel her heart beating in her head, her stomach, her fingers, all through her body it was pounding as she turned to face Nathaniel. It had taken all of her strength to turn around, to admit what she had been hiding for so long. It was true, and she admitted it, this had gone too far and she had acted like a child when this was the time both she and Nathaniel needed to act the most like adults. That was why she had surrendered, admitted her secret, and was ready to take any shouting match that may come with it, afterall she felt it was the least she deserved for avoiding Nate for so long. Admitting that she was pregnant had been the hardest thing Melodie had ever done, deep down she had known it from the start but it was the waiting and the thinking that had killed her the most. It had started with migranes and quickly escalated to morning sickness, upset stomach and increased anxiety. She had been embarrassed to go to Saint Mungo's and ask for the potion to make sure she hadn't simply caught the flu, and when the potion's sickly sweet taste burnt her tongue she still hadn't accepted the truth. She had quickly driven herself mad trapsing around every muggle supermarket and pharmacy within walking distance of her Bondi apartment, buying every pregnancy test that she could, drinking litres of orange juice to generate enough pee for all of the tests. It had taken the afternoon to go through every box and line each of the pregnancy tests up along the bathroom vanity but with one eye on her stopwatch, at the time of seasoning each test clearly turned pink or showed a big smiling face, or a plus sign. She had left the positive tests lined up on the vanity for days following their use, and every time she woke up for a shower she would be confronted with them, eventually deciding to toss them and vowing to become a recluse, to never have to tell Nathaniel and see the disappointed look on his face. Nathaniel was young, he still had so much ahead of him and Melodie didn't want to be the one to tie him to her, keep him down and stop him from doing all that he wanted to do with his life. Having his baby and making him stay would surely make him resent her and she never wanted that.

So with all of that courage that it had taken for Melodie to turn on the balls of her feet to face him, she had hoped that any of the yelling or storming out would be over quickly, so that she could pick up the pieces of herself and try to move on. Which was why when he moved forward to kiss her gently and pull her closer she had to open her eyes, which had been closed out of fear of how he would react to her news. It was just her luck that his eyes had stayed fixed on her face, and her lips, but she couldn't back out as he pulled her in closer and it was clear that he could feel there was something between them. His tone of voice changed and Melodie pulled herself away from him, she wanted him to have the space to go completely mad at her, throw things around. She watched his eyes trace her swollen belly and step away from it as if it could explode at any moment, shattering any kind of relationship they had built up together. When he asked her how long she stammered for a moment, it was an answer that almost every expectant mother could immediately provide. The question was a personal one, but one that seemed okay for any stranger in the supermarket to ask, any doting cousin or work collegue who was pretending to be interested. But Melodie wasn't an excited expectant first time mother, she was a frightened second time one, an unmarried and unprepared one. She hadn't marked the exact due date on a calendar or even told anyone for that matter, so her answer felt different, more of an estimate than anything, "About five months". She admitted, and the words stuck on her tongue. She hadn't been thinking about it all that much whilst holed up in her apartment, but now it was laid out in front of her just how childish she had been to hide from her boyfriend, or whatever he was, for five months with a secret as big as this growing inside of her. "I'm so sorry," she offered, not just for being pregnant, for not being careful, but for not telling him, for being scared and running away and she hoped that he knew all of what these words encompassed for her.