Hole in the Wall

[Matthew Cosgrove]

Ever since the Yule ball Matthew hadn't spent a minute in the dungeon that wasn't for potions class but as the end of the semester and his time at Hogwarts got closer he found himself drawn to the dungeon again. He hadn't been back down into the dungeons since the start of the new semester, with his time in Potions finished he had no reasons to be down there, but Matthew found himself thinking about the night of Yule ball and the walk that had taken him as close to the Slytherin common room as he had ever been, or ever cared to be.

Matthew remembered there was a room that Alana had showed him that night, there was no way inside but it was most definitely a room, it intrigued him but not as much as the girl who had showed him. Matthew made his way through the corridor, passing the entrance to the common room and to where he remembered the room to be. He passed the crook in the wall where they had seen a couple kissing and arrived at the hole in the wall. Matthew leaned against the opposite wall. This would be the last time he would step foot in the dungeon so he wanted to take in the memory of that night before he left the school for good. Matthew hadn't been there long when he heard movement, given his location it could be any number of Slytherin's, which could be bad. "Someone there?"

 

[Alana Finch]

Alana Finch was counting down the days until it was time for the break. It wasn’t that she was particularly looking forward to the holidays as they would mean a mandatory visit at Chaos’ home, but she was looking forward to not having to deal with classes. The teenager fully planned on enjoying her holiday seeing as how she’d be entering her OWL year upon her return. For now, though, she was just trying to survive this semester and manage decent enough grades. Heading back to the common room with another classmate, Alana glanced down the hall before entering the common room. It wasn’t dark enough for the shadows to creep over everything, and she spotted a familiar face partway down the hall. Alana continued walking for a moment, and then she paused. “I’ll catch up” she told the girl she’d been walking with, smiling at the girl.

Clutching her books to her chest, Alana continued beyond the common room door. She knew that this was probably a bad, no terrible idea, but when had that ever stopped her? The Slytherin waited for the older Ravenclaw boy to realize that she was there before smiling softly at him. “Hi Matthew” she began slowly, cautiously in case he stopped her and stomped away which he was well within his rights to do. “Long time no see” she added sheepishly.

 

[Matthew Cosgrove]

There were all kinds of people from Slytherin he'd dread coming down the corridor from the common room, the one who did however was the one he both hoped for and dreaded. Matthew hadn't seen Alana since the incident at the cliffs with the wonder twins from hell. Matthew wasn't proud of how he treated her then, he had blamed her when it was just as much his own fault, but it became clear that being around her was bad for his health so he decided to avoid her which he already knew was easy to do.

It was difficult for him, being in love with someone he shouldn't be, for so many reasons, perhaps chiefly among those was that she, as Chaos had taken such pleasure in informing him, felt nothing for him in return now or ever. Matthew looked up at the girl as she came out of the shadows and in full view, he took a sharp intake of breath as he saw her. She looked good, and he hated himself for thinking it. "Hi Alana, He smiled at her, his voice calm and nonchalant, everything he wasn't feeling. "It has been a while, how've you been? I've miss..." He stopped himself mid sentence hoping Alana would only pick up on his question not what he had been about to say.

 

[Alana Finch]

Alana clutched the books to her chest, happy when he smiled at her and didn’t run screaming down the hall or shove by her in his haste to get away. The Slytherin took a step closer, so she could hear him better as the Slytherins continued to head in and out of the common room. She’d missed the tail end of what he’d said, but she’d heard the beginning and spoke up quickly. “I’m alright, glad that the school year is almost over. I bet you’re excited though cuz graduation is right around the corner. I’m soooo jealous. Are you ready to get out of here?” The teenager said all of this in a rush, expecting that he would answer yes. Really, who wouldn’t?

Alana was still a bit awkward around most people, but she’d known Matthew for long enough that she wasn’t hesitant to speak in front of him. The Slytherin was beyond jealous that she was standing in front of someone who was actually this close to completing their magical education. It was no easy feat, and she was jealous of the freedom that lay ahead of him. For her, finishing school would be bittersweet as she would be that much closer to a lifetime with Chaos. He hadn’t been so bad lately, but that didn’t mean that Alana was any more eager to marry the guy. Alana leaned against the wall, her back towards the Slytherin common room as she waited to hear his reply.

 

[Matthew Cosgrove]

It seemed like Alana didn't hear the last part of what he said and he was thankful for that, it would be nice to have a normal conversation with her where there was no confession of feelings and no children pelting him with rocks. The conversation turned to the end of the school year which for Matthew meant graduation and leaving the school behind for good. For the most part he was looking forward to leaving but the more he thought about the more he was dreading it. "I am, and I'm not, I'm really looking forward to the freedom, not having to go to classes and seeing what life has to offer, but you know, there are things, people I'll miss when I'm gone," He smiled at her.

Alana was someone he'd miss a great deal, when he was avoiding her it was easier to forget the effect she had on him, but having her stood next to him in the same corridor they shared their first kiss, it was hard to think about anything else. "Not that I actually know what I want to do, it's not something I've stopped to consider,"

 

[Alana Finch]

Alana listened to Matthew speak, surprised that even a small part of him wasn’t ready to fly out the door on the nearest broom. Nodding her head in agreement, it was easy to agree that not having to attend classes was easily the best part of graduating from wizarding school. Alana didn’t mind her classes, but she felt that she could find better uses for her time than some of her classes. It was the other part that Alana hadn’t really considered. She didn’t have many friends in the school. In fact, there were far more people that she would love to not see again than there were people that she’d actually miss. Matthew had always been more sentimental in that regard. “Oh. I see” she added quietly, wondering if somewhere deep inside, she was one of those people that he’d miss. Alana knew that she certainly didn’t deserve that kind of regard. Really, she’d made life pretty miserable for him these past few years, indirectly of course. But, she had. And, she knew that she was extremely lucky that he even spoke to her.

“You don’t know what you want to do?” Alana asked, startled out of her reverie. The Slytherin had no idea what she wanted to do beyond school, but she was a fourth year. She certainly hoped to have things figured out by the time she became a seventh year. Actually, she was hoping to figure things out once she saw her OWL grades. Hearing that it wasn’t just a given was a bit dismaying. “You’ve only got like two months to figure it out. Doesn’t that scare you?” Alana asked, knowing that it would scare the crap out of her. It was bad enough for someone to decide for you what you’d be doing in life, but to not have a plan at all seemed equally terrifying to the teenaged girl.

 

[Matthew Cosgrove]

Matthew had been looking forward to graduating and leaving the school behind ever since his relationship with Alana imploded the way it did the previous year, every interaction with her since had only strengthened his desire to leave and not look back, standing with her in the dungeon corridor was the first time that being with her wasn't painful, emotionally or physically, it was just good to see her and talk to her. Whatever else she was, she was one of the few friends he had at Hogwarts and she was easy to talk to, he had always liked that about her. Alana said something quietly in response to him saying there would be things and people he would miss at the school, she was the main thing, a certain Professor would be another but for the most part it was all Alana. It was strange to think that someone he hadn't met until sixth year would end up being the biggest highlight of his school years.

Suddenly the tone of the conversation changed as the topic changed to his post school plans and Alana seemed genuinely shocked that he didn't know what he wanted to do. "What? Is it so surprising that I don't have my life planned? I've spent seven years knowing each and everyday what I needed to do, go to this class and that class, write this essay, read this book, I'm looking forward to getting out in the world and experiencing....well, freedom, a lot of things scare me Alana, never seeing you again is one, but not having a plan for after school doesn't scare me one bit, if anything it excites me," Matthew paused, he realised that he was going on about his freedom when he was stood next to someone who had their entire life planned for her, not that he needed reminding of it. "I'll always be here for you Alana, I know a lot has happened between us, I've said things to you that probably should have been left unsaid, but I want you to know that, I'm always here if you need anything,"

 

[Alana Finch]

Alana shrugged her shoulders, moving so that she was no longer hugging her books but holding them by her side. "You're a Ravenclaw. I assumed you all had your lives figured out" the Slytherin smirked, bemused at his surprise back at her. As Matthew went on, explaining his reasoning, Alana listened, her expression growing more serious. She got it. She so did. The thought of being free from schoolwork and other people deciding where you'd be and when was exciting. When he continued on, stating that missing her was one thing that scared him, Alana glanced down. Even after all that she'd put him through, Matthew still had some sort of feelings for her. Alana knew that she shouldn't encourage him, but she liked the attention. She liked knowing that even if she had to end up with Chaos in the end, she had made her own choice, even for a second, and that she was actually wanted by someone. Chaos would be with her because his family told him to, but he didn't want to be with her, she was sure. If, in the end, they finally decided to just deal with each other and co-exist, Alana would consider herself lucky. Looking up again, Alana forced a smile.

Matthew had always been kind to her, he'd always offered to be by her side if she told him that she needed him. So, she wasn't surprised to hear those words come from his mouth again. "I'm...I'm excited for you, Matthew" Alana stated, speaking genuinely in that regard. Graduation was always exciting. Moving forward, Alana used her free arm to wrap Matthew in a hug, her arm going around his arm and her head resting on his chest for a brief second. He smelled good. "Thank you for that, but I'm going to be fine. I am fine" she finished firmly, releasing him from the hug. Alana truly believed that she would be, one way or another. She had to believe that or face the idea that these were the best days of her life- her school days free from the Zhefarovich family's grasp, if her current state could be considered fully free.

 

[Matthew Cosgrove]

Matthew held back a desire to laugh at Alana's Ravenclaw comment but he did smile broadly at her. A lot of his classmates did have a good idea of what they would be doing when they graduated but Matthew didn't have a clue, he had spent the last year of his time at Hogwarts just wanting to get out of the place that he hadn't considered what he would do once he actually had. "Hey not all Ravenclaw's are super smart and think ten years ahead, just like not all Slytherin's are not devious and manipulative," He grinned at her. "Then again, maybe they are," He continued to smile hoping Alana would take his remark with the light heart that it was intended with.

With the end of the semester so close it almost felt like he was saying goodbye to Alana, as he doubted very much he would see the fourth year again as soon he would need to go into full scale hibernation mode in preparation for his NEWTS. "I'm excited for me too, I'm just sorry I won't be able to see much of you when I leave, I know you're fine, and I'm sure you will be fine but that doesn't mean I'm not going to worry about you all the time, so Owl me if you ever need to, even if its just to moan about your marriage," Matthew sighed, he was heading out into a world of freedom and possibilities but when her time came she would be heading into a marriage with Chaos of all people.

 

[Alana Finch]

Alana listened to Matthew, her expression serious as he spoke about always being there for her and telling her that she could always message him. "Thank you, Matthew. You've always been so nice to me, but I think you're wrong...at least about us Slytherins" she added with a sad smile. He was going to make someone a very happy person one day. Alana didn't like having reminders about her upcoming nuptials. Every end of school year marked another year closer to those nuptials. To Chaos of all people. He'd been so odd during their last visit over the holidays Pretty soon she'd be heading to his home.

"Hopefully, I don't have to take you up on that" she rolled her eyes. "It'd be nice to get an owl from you every now and then though" she admitted, happy to think that he might want to be friends with her. Alana didn't have many. "I'd like to hear how this freedom of yours goes."

 

[Matthew Cosgrove]

Matthew listened to Alana's response and smiled at her comment about him being wrong about Slytherins not being devious and manipulative, "Oh come on, your not devious or manipulative, or are you telling me I see a different side to you than everyone else?" He asked nudging her gently. Matthew had often wondered if there was more to Alana than he knew about, the side of her he did know he had fallen in love with but part of him had always wondered if she was a little more devious than she let on, maybe she just liked knowing someone who didn't see her that way.

"I hope so too, I hope you have nothing to complain about, though I wouldn't object to hearing from you anyway," The last thing Matthew wanted was to leave and never hear from Alana again, she was one of the few people he considered a friend and it had taken a long time to adjust to the idea of her being just a friend to him and nothing more, the whole situation with Alana had been heart breaking and he considered it a big step to be talking to her as he was, with no ulterior motive, just talking about their lives. "Don't worry, you'll hear from me often enough, you may even get sick of me after a while,"

 

[Alana Finch]

Alana had often wondered that question herself. The sorting hat had placed her into Slytherin for a reason, and according to everything she’d heard, it didn’t make mistakes. She wasn’t convinced of that though, especially seeing that Chaos had been in Hufflepuff house. Perhaps as Matthew had mentioned, there were different aspects to everyone person and she’d somehow missed an aspect of Chaos that the sorting hat somehow uncovered. Eventually, Alana just shrugged. She didn’t know how to answer that question.

She was happy to hear that Matthew would want to hear from her again, and she nodded, a smile on her face. “Good. It’ll make my last 3 years here maybe not so miserable” she rolled her eyes again. The teenager had grown closer to a few people this year, but she still didn’t have many friends. And Matthew was really her only friend outside of Slytherin House. “Never” she giggled, knowing that her parents might not like the fact that an older, already graduated wizard was writing to their daughter. But, what they wouldn’t know wouldn’t hurt them, and it wasn’t like they were going to do anything. Alana was pretty sure that it was clear between the two of them that friendship was as far as things could go between them. In another life, perhaps things could have been different. Alana shook herself from her fantasies. “What were you doing down here anyway?” she asked, changing the subject. People usually didn't just hang out in the dungeons for fun.

 

[Matthew Cosgrove]

Matthew was disappointed to hear that Alana thought her remaining years at Hogwarts were going to be miserable, that wasn't a good attitude to have. Granted it was the one he had for most of his final year but that was exactly how he knew it was a bad attitude to have, it would sour everything about her time. If she was anything like him she would get to his age and regret wasting time wishing it was over. "Hey! You are Alana god damn Finch, star keeper for the Slytherin team, you take no sh*t from anyone, you are beautiful and you are intelligent, whatever awaits after you leave this place you need to make your last few years here count, besides the later years can be some of the most eventful, take my last two for example, this girl bumped into me at the Yule ball in my sixth year, she was a petite little thing with a fierce personality and piercing red eyes, not to mention looked killer in her dress, this idiot," He grinned pointing at himself. "Ended up falling love with her, then a whole bunch of crazy stuff happened and we broke up, then I got attacked by the twin terrors on the orders of a certain Slytherin prefect then boom, said girl is now one of my closest friends,"

The seventh year smiled at the girl, having recapped their entire relationship in such a small amount of time it felt strange to think about how strong his feelings for her had been at there peak. "So trust me, your remaining years will only be dreadful if you let them, just don't go falling for someone who's engaged," It was good that he could laugh about it, but the whole thing wasn't an easy pill for Matthew to swallow.

 

[Alana Finch]

Alana found herself grinning at his comments. This was what she liked best about Matthew, his seemingly unending way of seeing the best in every situation, even ones that were unfavorable to him. The Slytherin teen really admired that about the guy and often wondered if it was something that could be taught. If it could, she would absolutely sign up for those classes with her current situation. Alana knew that she needed to see the bright side, but it was incredibly difficult when that bright side was still supposed to include Chaos Zhefarovich. "If we're as close as you say, then I have to tell you that my middle name is actually Ruby not god damn" Alana giggled, laughing at her own joke. She liked the way that Matthew described her, enjoyed hearing how somebody she liked felt about her. The rest of her life was so confusing. She was glad that this part of it didn't have to be.

As he continued, her grin dimmed a bit though she forced it to remain. Matthew was right. She was going to be as miserable as she made herself. She didn't know when it had happened, but the guys in her life had taken a sudden interest in her happiness level, more than she had. Alana nodded her head, confirming that she'd gotten his point. Maybe it was time for her to stop worrying about the Zhefarovich family controlling her and start worrying about taking her happiness into her own hands. "I don't think that'll be a problem" she shook her head at him, leaning forward and giving him another one-armed hug. "I'm really going to miss seeing you around here" she added before letting him go.

 

[Matthew Cosgrove]

Matthew felt strange about graduating the closer it came to the day. Especially when he thought about Alana, it almost felt like by leaving he was almost abandoning her to her fate. He smiled when she mentioned that her middle name was in fact Ruby and not god damn, "Well that's disappointing isn't it, god damn has such a nice ring to it, though Ruby is cute too," He smiled, it had taken him long enough to find out her middle name but with all the drama that had plagued their relationship there hadn't been a lot of time for such information to be learned. It had felt like a life time since he heard her giggle, he could listen to that sound forever but he knew soon he would probably never hear it again.

Matthew found it harder to smile the more he thought about leaving Alana while he went off and graduated to do Merlin knows what with his freedom. "Glad to hear it," He forced a smile as she said she didn't think she would go and fall for someone who was engaged, no one should go and make his mistake. Matthew was caught a little off guard when Alana pulled him into a one armed hug, he put both his arms around her, "I'm gonna miss seeing you around, but this won't be the last time you see me, I promise you that," He smiled sincerely though at the time she couldn't see it. He didn't want the hug to end, but she let him go and Matthew leaned back against the wall.

 

[Alana Finch]

Graduations had been celebrated in the castle, but this was the first time that Alana had actually acknowledged it. For one thing, her brother was graduating this year, also a Ravenclaw though she'd been glad to discover that he and Matthew traveled in different circles. Matthew was graduating as well, and for someone with only a handful of friends, losing one wasn't easy. Their friendship had never been an easy one, and she was glad that it had reached this level.

Smiling as Matthew mentioned that this wouldn't be the last time they spotted each other, Alana knew that she had better get going. She gestured behind her. "Are you heading to the Great Hall?" she asked, knowing that it was nearly time for final meal. Her stomach and her nose were telling her so. "I just have to drop off my books, but maybe we can walk up together?" she added, not knowing if the Savage twins debacle was still fresh enough in his mind that he wouldn't want to be out in public with her. Alana wouldn't be mad if he didn't want to. How could she be? He'd been attacked just for hanging out with her.

 

[Matthew Cosgrove]

For the first time in the last year Matthew didn't really want to graduate, but he knew he was just feeling sentimental in his final days and it mostly down to being with Alana. Matthew was glad that after everything that had happened between them they were parting on good terms though he would never feel good about the life that was waiting for her when she left Hogwarts, he knew she would never stop looking for a way out, he was just sorry she wouldn't allow him to help her.

As Alana mentioned moving on and heading to the Great hall he knew that he had to. It was time to sit in the hall for the final time, eat his last Hogwarts feast and listen to a speech from Professor King for one last time. The Ravenclaw really hadn't expected to feel like he did when faced with the prospect of his impending graduation, but for all the pain and suffering he had endured over his last couple of years, he had a lot of happy good memories, and Alana was perhaps the happiest of all, in a strange and twisted way. "Yes I am, can't very well miss the last feast of the year can I?" You go drop your books off I'll wait right here," He smiled at her. Matthew was determined to savour every moment in that spot, and every moment with Alana. While he could.