Heart Fatality

[Charlie Linus]

Charlie had a smile on his face as he made his way to the Common Room. It was an odd thing for him to be smiling for no particular reason. But the fact that his parents had only yelled at him a few times these holidays and he had not only a friend but a girlfriend gave him a pretty good excuse to smile as he walked. His mind flicked to Carmen, something it did more than often. Well, okay, if he was being honest he barely stopped thinking about her. He strolled leisurely through the Dungeons, he had time to spare. He hoped Carmen was sitting in the Common Room waiting for him, he would never get tired of her smile that lit up the room, or her blonde hair that shone when light hit it, or his favourite feature, her eyes that filled even the coldest Slytherin heart with warmth. When Charlie was with Carmen, he felt like he could fly. He felt safe and secure. He felt... cared about. Something that had never happened in his life. She truly was a fantastic person and he couldn't believe he had ever doubted her. He let out an audible content sigh as he linked the thumb of his left hand through the wrist band on his right arm.

 

[Carmen Peregrin]

Walking out of Slytherin House as if her heart were lighter than air, Carmen gingerly touched her cheek where the blood had congealed. Removing a hankerchief from her robe pocket she dabbed at it gently, wincing slightly for the little pain that was still there. Who knew that Aleyha had that much of a throw? As she rounded a corner she saw Charlie coming towards her and stopped walking straight away. He was smiling, happy and she knew without having to ask that he was thinking of her. Her, his supposed girlfriend who was now about to crush him, tear his heart out and trample on it but she had to do it. She continued to watch him savoring the view for as long as possible, knowing that once she had spoken with him that the smile would be short lived.

"Charlie" her voice was hushed as if the deed she knew she had to do was already weighing her down considerably.

 

[Charlie Linus]

Charlie's eyes were watching where he walked, step by step. He heard his name and he glanced up, recognising the voice instantly. The voice that was constantly in his thoughts. "Carmen!" He said, his smile widening considerably. His steps quickened and as soon as he reached her he wrapped his arms around her. His heart thumping at the feeling of Carmen against him. When he pulled back, Charlie noticed Carmen's face and sucked in a breath. "Carmen, what happened?" He asked gently, raising his hand, but not touching her cheek in case it hurt. Who had done this? He felt a flare of anger towards them, but it faded quickly, knowing Carmen was still here, so obviously quite safe.

 

[Carmen Peregrin]

Carmen had to stop herself from putting her arms about Charlie as he embraced her but knowing it would be the last time he would want anything to do with her, she threw them about his neck and nestled her face into his shoulder. As much as she knew she had to do this, it was still an unforgivable task. She had never intentionally hurt someone before.

"That doesn't matter, it was sort of an accident" she told him as she lifted her head to face him, her eyes had already filled with tears. Not for herself but for him. If there was any other way she would take it but there wasn't, the heart wanted what the heart wanted and it wasn't Charlie.

"Charlie... I need... to..can we talk?" the infamous words of those about to break up with anyone.

 

[Charlie Linus]

Charlie looked into Carmen's eyes and watched as the tears welled in them. Why was she crying? Charlie sensed that it was the 'sort of an accident' that didn't matter. Of course it mattered if it put her in tears. He bit his lip and was prepared to ask her if she wanted to talk about it, that it was better if she spoke of things like this. Was she being bullied by someone? Before he could say anything, Carmen had asked him to talk. His heart sank at the way she spoke those words, but Charlie being so naive, still thought it was about the cut on her face.
"Yeah sure." He said softly in the most caring tone he could muster. He took her hand and walked a little down the hall to a small alcove that had a bench they could sit on. They would be alone here and Carmen could say whatever she needed to say. He sat down and let go of Carmen's hand slowly, wanting to snatch it back and pull her towards him, but knowing she should make her own choice on whether or not to sit. She seemed so fragile and Charlie felt the anger return before letting it slip away yet again. He was stepping carefully, the tears in her eyes pulling harshly at his heartstrings.

 

[Carmen Peregrin]

Carmen was even more torn, her heart was delirious that soon she would be with Kaleb but it was hurting over Charlie. He trusted her, had come along way in himself because of that trust and now she was going to destroy it. She allowed him to take her hand and walk with her to a bench not far away. He sat down and she stood for a moment looking at the hand he had just released before she too sat down. Seconds passed and she hurriedly stood up again paced up and down wringing her hands not able to look at him before she quickly sat down again.

Say it, just say the words.
"Charlie, we ... that is I need too... " she closed her eyes and placed her hands over her face. The image of Kaleb smiling at her flickered before her and she knew she simply had to do it.
"I need to break up with you" is that how people said it? Carmen could not even look at him but removing her hands placed them in her lap and stared at them, she wasn't sure if he had heard her or not so repeated the words again, "We ...need to break up".

She didn't know why she kept using the word 'need' but it was used and stressed, as if wanting to do it was different completely but needing to do it was final, her heart had no choice.

 

[Charlie Linus]

Charlie watched, becoming slowly more distressed as she sat down then paced before sitting down again. Why couldn't she keep still, was what happened to her really that bad? Charlie knew she trusted him, so it shouldn't be this hard for her to tell him should it? He bit his lip as she said the word 'we'. While she covered her face with her hands, he looked into his lap. What did he have to do with this? He found his heart pick up and start beating for an entirely different reason than being in Carmen's company. It was a frightened beating. He frowned at her until she completed her sentence.

His heart stopped as she spoke the words. He felt it sink, piece by piece, slowly cracking and finally crashing into the pits of his stomach. Break up with him? Charlie had thought things were going great. "Wha-" He started to say, but his voice came out rough, he took in a few deep breaths, looking frantically around him, hoping an explanation would jump out and tell him what was going on. He blinked, feeling his eyes sting with what wanted to be tears, the pain in his chest physically stopping him from breathing properly. "Carmen." He said, finally looking into her face. "Why?" He asked, completely confused and not able to get more than a few words out.

 

[Carmen Peregrin]

She turned her hazel eyes to look at him, if he only knew how she had not wanted to hurt him but in the end she had turned out to be a true Slytherin and not the Gryffindor she had always thought she would be. She had looked out for herself, her own needs. She had been selfish in even dating him to begin with, knowing deep down that her heart would be with Kaleb at some point and as each day had progressed it had made it's way there without any help from her. How could she tell Charlie that while they were dating, she was pining for Kaleb?

A voice crept into her head, years of training to deal with those lesser than her. To handle various situations so that when she eventually took over her grandfathers title, she would be not just a superior witch but a superior woman in all regards. The Slytherin in her reared its head, her pedigree lineage, the pureblood filtered sure but still in part coursed through her veins. She called on them all now as she lifted her chin slightly, looking beyond regal as she watched him closely. Her voice was not soft anymore, she knew she would have to be as hard as nails for her to follow this through to the end.

"I care for someone else. It is that simple. It is simply not fair to carry on this charade any longer. I like you Charlie but I love... you know who I love. I cannot help where my heart wants to be" for a moment she thought she would falter, Carmen looked away not wanting to see his reaction to any of this, "I want to be with Kaleb".

She had said it, the one name that would tear Charlie apart and make him hate her forever more but it had been the only way. Perhaps his hatred of her would push him to move on, get on with his life without her. Carmen still refused to look at him as she waited for her words to sink in.

 

[Charlie Linus]

His eyes narrowed as she lifted her chin and spoke firmly about there being someone else. Charlie sat still as stone, while listening to everything Carmen had to say. He tried to guard himself against her words, but this was Carmen. Anyone else would have been like a measly fork trying to pick away at him, but Carmen was the sledgehammer, breaking down everything that she herself had built up in Charlie. He felt all the cracks that her words created, but the last thing she spoke had Charlie crumbling down into nothing. Like the day he had arrived at this school. He was nothing again. Carmen had just sliced away the only trust he had ever given to anyone. In replace of that trust, came anger. Anger so strong, that Charlie had to get up off the bench and walk away from Carmen in fear he would do something he might regret.

Charlie placed his hands on his head, her words playing in his mind again. He was facing away from Carmen, staring blankly at the opposite wall. He pulled at his dirty blonde locks, yanking so hard he managed to pull a few chunks out. "Charade." Was the first word that came out of his mouth. "Is that what all this has been to you? A freaking charade?!" He started out softly, but his voice got louder and more frustrated. He turned and glared at Carmen, but as hard as he tried, the hurt was still evident in his eyes. "Its always been him hasn't it?! I'm nothing to you. Why did you play these silly games with me? Why did you even bother when you obviously didn't care?! Was I just a ploy to make him jealous? Go out with the mudblood just to make Kaleb hate me, so he will like you more. Well thanks Carmen. Thanks so much for doing this to me. I so enjoyed the trust we had going there." He threw his hand up in the air, not being able to stop his usual sarcastic comments. He had practically spat the word mudblood. She would be better off with precious Kaleb anyway. She wouldn't have to be ashamed of him because of where he came from. Wouldn't have to hide him from her family.

Charlie turned away from Carmen and leant his forehead against the opposite wall. His chest was constricting painfully, but he tried his absolute hardest to ignore it, with little success. "Why the hell did you put me through this..." He said softly, more to himself than to Carmen. He should never have got involved with Carmen. He had known at a time that socialising caused nothing but pain, he wished now he had listened to himself.

 

[Carmen Peregrin]

She would follow this through, regardless of the pain he was feeling. Carmen watched as he stood up and as anger tore through him. She was the cause of it, her alone and she stood herself now as if bracing herself, holding herself responsible for doing this to a trusted friend. Someone she had cared so much for, still did... or did she? As the last vestiges of his anger spat out words like mudblood, Carmen winced. She could almost feel her grandfather place an arm on her shoulder and whisper to her, 'Expect nothing less from that sort anger is all they know, rise above it. Be better than that'

Carmen had never looked upon Charlie as a mudblood but if that was how he wanted it then she would make this all the more easier. Instead of reaching out and wanting to comfort him, she walked up to him and stood looking at him curiously. As if she could not even begin to comprehend what he was going through or wanted to for that matter. 'Why did she put him through this?' she contemplated his words before walking to a wall and leaning against it.

"I thought perhaps we could have worked but we are too different. I was never playing a game and I never went out with you to make Kaleb jealous but being with you was hurting him and I will not allow that to happen. I cannot allow that to happen. You would never understand and I won't bother trying to explain it to you."

Slowly she pushed herself from the wall and crossed her arms across her chest as she glanced sideways at him.
"The only game there would have been is if I did not do this quickly but prolonged it. I am not cruel, I am not vicious in any way Charlie but if that is how you wish to see me then so be it. I will not deny you you're anger".

 

[Charlie Linus]

Charlie calmed as Carmen spoke, he still felt the anger blaze through him like fire, but her words were like ice and they settled him in a way. Getting angry wouldn't solve this. Even though he felt like he had been squashed beneath Carmen's feet, he wasn't gaining anything by yelling. He clenched his teeth together tightly, bracing himself to speak again. He didn't want to yell, but he still couldn't trust himself not to. Why did Kaleb have to exist? Why did he have to go and wreck what made Charlie the happiest he had been in his life.
"Carmen, you knew. You knew all along you wanted Kaleb more than me. I hoped that when you chose me you meant it." He said, his fists clenching at his sides, to prevent himself from lashing out again. "Did you even stop to think about how I feel? Your the only person that I have ever allowed in my heart Carmen. And now your telling me that I have never been as important to you as somebody else who made me look like a fool from day one." He said, looking away from her, not believing he had just admitted that, but she knew. She knew even if he didn't say it. She knew everything. She knew this day would come and she knew he would be hurt, but she went ahead with all of this anyway. Why had Charlie believed it?

 

[Carmen Peregrin]

She would lie to him, embellish the truth even for now everything he said to her had some grain of truth in it though Carmen had been naive enough at the time to believe otherwise.
"You're right, deep down I guess I've always known. I simply was not ready. I am now," the final crushing blow that would separate them forever, could she do it? would she? "I needed to know for sure that there was no one else for me. He never made you look like a fool Charlie, somethings we do quite well on our own. From throwing trophies to trusting fellow Slytherins. Why would I consider you Charlie, now especially?"

She was screaming inside to stop that surely he wouldn't believe any of this, he would remember their vacation and how they held hands and walked together. Their long talks and his introducing her to the muggle movie theater, holding each other and kissing tenderly. Would he consider it all a lie? If he did then he was the fool that Kaleb had always considered him and yet she would not stop to consider his feelings now. She had to continue, the light at the end of the tunnel was near.

"I really don't need to explain any of this further Charlie. We are through, that's it. Just ... get over it" with her chin tilted slightly in the air again she turned on her heel and gracefully walked away, willing herself not to crumble. Not to cry not to hate herself completely for treating him so cruelly. She walked away from the Common room not being able to go there just yet to see Kaleb, she could not go looking crest fallen no matter how happy she should be to have him now. Carmen walked away, up the stairs that led to the main school and headed to the girls bathroom on the fourth floor. There at least she could cry her heart out without any witnesses.

 

[Charlie Linus]

Charlie couldn't revel in the fact that she had admitted he was right. In any other circumstance they were his favourite words to hear. Not now. Now the words seemed to fuel something deep within him, a burning hate for Kaleb stronger than he had ever felt for the boy before. Things wouldn't be this way if precious Kaleb hadn't been an idiot and taken Carmen for himself before allowing her to put Charlie through this. Things might have been simpler. Charlie wouldn't have to feel this strong adoration of Carmen while wanting to wipe her off the face of the Earth at the same time.

He couldn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. Carmen spoke words that were most likely truth as Charlie couldn't say a thing to prove them otherwise. Sure, all the time they had spent together had been wonderful, but how did Charlie know Carmen wasn't just stringing him along, trying to forget about Kaleb, wishing and hoping she was with the other purer, more attractive, less socially unbalanced Slytherin. She said it herself and Charlie believed her.

'Get over it.'

Charlie watched her walk away, her last words not meaning a thing because the damage had already been done. Charlie was reduced to nothing but the empty shell he had once been. He now had no friends. No Carmen. Plus an added enemy or two. Fantastic.
"You should have considered me because I care about you as much as he does." Charlie whispered once she had gone. His emotions were everywhere. He was torn between heading to the trophy room and throwing things around just as he had done the first time he met Carmen, going to the Quidditch Pitch after never having been there after Carmen's accident and doing laps until he couldn't breathe, finding Kaleb and screaming accusations at him like he had in the Common Room when the other Slytherin had questioned his friendship with Carmen and lastly hiding in his dormitory, like he had at the beginning of school.

He let out a loud frustrated groan and yanked at his hair again, before kicking the wall and storming off in the other direction. All of his thoughts involved her. They always had since he had met her. He continued walking, not sure where he was going, not knowing where he would end up and not knowing what on Earth he would do next.