Haunting Memories

[Kaede Okinawa]

Kaede was usually never up so early, but she couldn't sleep anymore. Her night had been filled with past memories that she wished had never come back up. She hadn't bothered to get dressed, so she had just thrown on some sneakers and a jacket. Tying her hair up in a quick pony tail, she set off. There was still time to go back to her room before breakfast to change, so it wasn't her top priority to look great at the moment. Tiptoeing through the silent Hufflepuff area, she quietly slid out the common room door.

The halls were dark and cold in the mornings, but by the look of the rising sun off in the distance, it would be a mighty hot day. Trudging to the doors, she opened them quietly and slipped out the door. The door made a soft bang as she shut it. Now that she was outside, she was able to be a little louder and she started to walk faster. Her walk turned into a run as she aimed her path towards the Cliffs. She started thinking about her dreams, and what they had meant. For some reason her memories kept coming back up when something happened. Most of them were memories she wanted to forget, and had been able to until she had come to Hogwarts. There was something about her memories and her dreams that were keeping her from unlocking her safe little box. Sure, she was open with everyone and talked to a lot of people, but she had trouble opening her heart for them. It was probably because her heart, hopes, and dreams had been crushed so badly when she was younger. She wanted so badly to forget them, but for some reason, somehow, something was keeping her from doing that.

Realizing that she was almost to the top of the cliffs, she started to slow down to a jog and then stopped abruptly . Her cheeks contrasted her pale skin as a rose color painted them with it's brilliant tones. The young Hufflepuff collapsed to the ground as she stretched out her muscles. Again, memories started to come back. Not the ones of her younger years, but the ones of the past few weeks that had filled her life with warmth and happiness. She had met so many awesome people, and had tried to make a rock band, but wasn't good enough yet. That was okay with her though, she was going to work harder and do better next time. The people she had met now were ones she would cherish forever, including certain ones that were more important to her than they thought. Yes, she was happy of what she had accomplished so far, and wished that she would accomplish more as she got older and became wiser. Her only goal in life now was to be happy, and that was something that she would strive for.

 

[Imogen Day]

Imogen Day had fallen asleep up a tree near to the cliffs. Her sketchbook was laid out on her chest and the pencil Immy had been holding had fallen to the ground, when Immy had first gone to sleep. It was the sound of her sketchbook falling and hitting the ground which woke Immy from her sleep state. Immy was first of all quite panicked as to how she'd come to be sitting up a tree and the fallen asleep. It was a marvel to her that she'd not fallen off as she'd slept. Immy looked down to the ground and after swinging herself on a nearby branch jumped down. She smoothed out her large grey jumper with the superman sign on it and began to brush down her joggies. Immy looked very casual that morning. She walked and picked up her fallen notebook. Immy flicked through the pages and came to the last thing she'd drawn.It was the cliffs and the picture was half finished but in it's half finished state, everything was perfect, Immy was thankful for her drawing genes. Immy couldn't see her pencil anywhere so decided she'd look for it another time.

Yawning loudly Immy walked closer to the cliffs. She noticed that a girl was lying on the grass, Immy recognised the girl as Kaede, a girl she'd met not that long before at the cliffs. Immy walked over and sat down beside the girl. Kaede, looked like she was deep in thoughts. Immy didn't know whether it was right to disturb her. Immy looked out to the cliffs and sat the sketchbook open onto of her crossed legs.

"Hey Kaede." Immy said softly. "Are you all right?"

 

[Kaede Okinawa]

Her mind was apart from her. She was thinking about the past two weeks she had been at Hogwarts when a familiar voice came out of nowhere. Jumping, her pulled up hair bounced and swished as she turned her head. She instantly smiled as she saw Immy, a girl she had met out here awhile ago. Kaede hadn't heard her come up, so she had been surprised when she heard her name called out. Immy asked if she was alright, and truthfully, Kaede didn't really know. "Hi Immy," She said, acknowledging that Immy was there. Her smile dipped slightly. "I think I'm ok, I just havn't been able to sleep well lately. Some of my childhood memories keep coming up, and some of them arn't that good."

The Hufflepuff got quiet as she pulled her knees to her chest. She shivered as a slight chill passed by. It had warmed up a little from the morning's cold chill, but she still felt it through her jacket. Nonetheless, she was glad someone was here with her. She felt safer with someone next to her.

 

[Imogen Day]

Immy smiled at her friend. She knew about haunting memories, she had many. Not all bad, but there was one, that sometimes felt like it was happening right beside her and not in her head. Where she could hear every detail. Every scream, every sob, everything. Immy also knew what it was like to not sleep well. Immy put a comforting arm around her friend and kept her eyesight out to the lake.

"I know what it's like to not be sleeping well. I fell asleep in a tree last night. Never thought I'd ever do that."Imogen said with a smile. "Sometimes I think by coming to New Zealand, I run away from my childhood memories, if that makes any sense at all."

 

[Kaede Okinawa]

The eleven year old Hufflepuff smiled slightly as Immy put her arm around her. She calmed down a bit and relaxed. She listened to Immy talk about her memories. She realized that her and Immy had a lot in common, even though they were extremely different. Even though Kaede was awake now, her memories hadn't failed to follow her. All her memories were very clear. Sometimes something was blurry, but that was very rare. She just wanted to forget them. That was all she had ever wanted, was to start anew. But somehow, some way, they were coming back, and Kaede knew she needed to find out why.

Kaede was surprised when Immy said she didn't sleep well. She was even more surprised when she said she slept in a tree the previous night. She also talked about how coming to New Zealand was running away from her memories. "It does make sense, at least to me. Coming here took me away from the people who caused the memories. But I think it also caused my worst ones to come back. The ones that I hid inside when I was younger. I think i'm supposed to find out why I keep dreaming them over and over again. Like there's some meaning to all of it. Do you kinda know what I mean? When I think about it, it seems kind of confusing but right at the same time.

 

[Imogen Day]

Immy nodded as Kaede spoke. Immy had begun to think about why she'd even agreed to learning magic so far from home. Was it really to escape everyone. The memory which replayed itself every time Immy had walked out her door. Whenever she looked inside her sister's eyes she could see what she'd both lost and gained. Was she running. She had happy memories too. One's where she'd had fun with Pixie, closer to the time of her leaving for Hogwarts. Immy looked out from the cliffs and nodded.

"I understand." Immy said simply. She knew they most likely had different pasts but seemed to be connected by this "I really do. I even think I know what mine mean, what they want me to do." Immy sighed a little. She had to say goodbye, something she'd not been able to say. Let go of the guilt which Immy felt every time she was in her quiet house. "Do you know what yours mean?"

 

[Kaede Okinawa]

Kaede listened to Immy talk about her memories and how she thought she knew what they meant. She didn't know for sure what hers meant, but Kaede so much wanted to find out. She had never been able to talk to her sister's about her parents, because they didn't understand. Her parents had always paid attention to them. So there was no way they could understand. She loved her sisters so much, they were the only things in her world that were the most important to her. Despite the fact that her parents paid more attention to them didn't make her jealous of them or even hate them. She knew it wasn't there fault. Ayame had always stuck up for her when she was little, no matter what. And Yuki was so cute, and she always wanted to here Kaede sing and play piano for her. She knew she would do anything for her sisters.

Sighing with relief when Immy said she understood, she smiled. She was happy that Immy understood. "That's different with me, I don't really know what they mean. Maybe to go back to my home and ask why? But for some reason that doesn't sound right. I think there's more to it than just asking why." Her voice faltered as she thought about what she had just said. Maybe moving on was what it wanted her to do, but she knew she wouldn't be able to move on without confronting the people who did that to her.

 

[Imogen Day]

Immy nodded. It wasn't easy to ask why. Immy couldn't ask why, though she kept thinking it why. Why me. Why my family. Why do bad things happen to good people. Immy looked down at the half finished drawing in her lap. She was the only one who could draw. Soft piano music filled Immy's head. The soft music she'd long since heard. Immy looked up, her eyes were a little glazed. She didn't want to start crying but thinking about it all. The memory formed slowly in Immy's head. Immy shook her head, casting it away.

"There is." Immy said slowly. "I think you should ask why, while you still have the chance to. Because before you know it, it will be too late. I want to ask why, why it happen but I can't. There's no one I can ask." Immy's voice faded slightly. She could only think of her mum, most likely still in bed. Most likely still not speaking. "I think I need to say goodbye."

 

[Kaede Okinawa]

Kaede watched as Immy shook her head. She had noticed a gleam in her eye, but she wasn't going to ask. If Immy wanted to tell her she could. Until then Kaede would just be a good friend.

"I have never thought of it that way before..." Her voice trailed off as she thought about not being able to ask why. Kaede had never thought that they could leave her before. It had never come to mind, and she didn't think it could happen to her. But now she knew better. She knew she had to talk to her family, her mom, her dad. The thing was though, is that she didn't know how. "But how?" She blurted out, her voice a soft whisper. Her eyes started to shine, the water was building up. She knew she wanted to cry, she felt like she had too. But that little voice in her head told her not to cry for them. The two sides of herself, the one that wanted to know why, and the one that wanted to forget battle inside her mind and body. There was so much pain that she felt overwhelmed.

Despite the battle going on inside herself, she needed to say something. "You should say goodbye, but don't forget. Your memories teach you. But if you forget those memories you'll forget what you've been taught." She quickly shut her mouth as her voice cracked on her last word.

 

[Imogen Day]

Immy noticed her friends voice slowly fading. Immy nodded as she spoke. She began to comforting rub her friends arm. She didn't think anything needed to be said. Just the comfort of a friend was enough. Immy knew she needed to say something so after a small comfortable silence Immy spoke.

"How? By telling yourself I can and going to whoever you need answers from and asking why." Immy said. Her voice was slow and soft. She wanted to say goodbye. But it seemed almost impossible. She looked back out to the cliffs. She could see them, her family. Together, smiling. What it would've been. She could never forget the old happiness. Never. They would always be on her mind but since coming to New Zealand it seemed to be on her mind more and more. More things made her think of them. Imogen looked up to the sky and sighed slightly. Her eye's threatening to no longer hold back tears.

"I could never forget. I could never forget them. I've lost them in one way, I won't lose them in another." Immy said softly, her voice a whisper. "Ask why. The pain or confusedness in your mind won't go away until you ask why."

 

[Kaede Okinawa]

They sat there for awhile in complete silence. Kaede could only hear her breathing. Finally, Immy broke the silence telling her how she could ask why. Hearing how to do it from someone else helped her. Kaede had always known how, but for some reason, she had never been able to actually do it. The hurt inside kept telling her to keep it inside, where it couldn't hurt anyone else. But she knew it was tearing her apart, into pieces that might never be put back together again.

Tears started to stream down her eyes, but her throat made not a whimper. She knew she had to cry, she just had to, but she couldn't bring herself to make weeping sounds. Her stubborness wouldn't let her. Her voice stayed a soft whisper as Kaede said, "I havn't forgotten either. I may have hidden it, and thought that I had forgotten it, but deep down I knew it was there, waiting for the time to bubble back up again. I'll ask why, and I'll find out why." Her voice had gotten softer and softer until it was nothing. The hot tears continued to flow down her face as she looked out towards the lake. The moon was faint in the early morning sky, but it was there, just like Kaede knew she was there, despite the fact that she had felt invisible before. It's pale gleam shined down on the lake as she gazed at it's entrancing beauty.

 

[Imogen Day]

Immy listened. She looked to Kaede and saw that she was crying. Immy fought even harder against her own tears and wrapped her other arm around Kaede, pulling her into a friendly comforting hug. She followed her eye line and spotted the moon. It made everything look amazing. Peaceful. A small singular crystal like tear slipped from Immy's eye. She sniffed slightly. She longed for her brothers. She wanted them to be there with her, in New Zealand. Immy gave a small strangled cough.

"I had 2 brothers. One would in 3rd year and the other would be 9. Its my fault they're gone. I took too long, I wasn't there to warn them." Immy said softly, she felt slightly better after having saying this. She had been thinking about it a lot as of late. If the older would be in the same house as her. Would he had helped her with homework and spell work. Would the younger one be at muggle school or at home. So many questions and yet they would never be answered. "I can't look in my sister's perfect deep green eyes, without feeling guilty about everything that she hasn't known about my family."

 

[Kaede Okinawa]

As Immy pulled Kaede into a hug she hugged her back. The flow of her tears had slowed down to a trickle. She listened to Immy talk about her two brothers. Her voice was quiet, but Kaede didn't have to struggle to hear. She wasn't going to bug Immy about what had happened to them, it wasn't her business too, and if Immy wanted to tell her she could. Kaede just didn't want to force her into it, because that wouldn't make her a true friend.

"I don't know what happened, and I won't bug you about it either, but I think if I was one of your brother's, I wouldn't want you to feel guilty. And if your sister knew I don't think she would want you to feel guilty either. I know I don't know when it happened, why it happened, or how it happened, But we're only eleven now..and if they were here right now, I don't think they would want you to blame yourself." Kaede took a deep breath. She knew she didn't know anything much about love, but she knew deep down, even if people hide it, they still love you somewhere. And their love is strong. "My family didn't love me. My Mom and Dad own a large business in Japan, and they were always off making deals with other companies all over the world. My whole life I have been pushed aside by them." Her voice was a soft whisper as she kept going on. "Whenever they came home they didn't hug me or kiss me. They didn't even acknowledge me. They were always too busy with my older sister. She was so smart that they thought that I wasn't good enough, even though I did well. My little sister was the baby, so she could do no wrong. It was like they were rating me against my sisters and I was just wasn't good enough. Even though I studied music continually and have done really well with it, they've never seen of heard me play or sing. It's the only thing I have that my sister's dont, but still.....I'm just not good enough..." She broke off as her hot tears started to roll continually down her pale cheeks. She didn't know why her parents didn't love her. All she had wanted was their approval. But it was something that she had never gotten.

 

[Imogen Day]

Immy just simply nodded and held her friend as she told her about her parents. As she spoke Immy could not help but think that they had a lot more in common than would first meet the eye. Immy had not in a long time felt a warm and loving hug from her mother or seen the smile and love from her father. Immy stayed silent. Just thinking about the last time she'd felt the hug from her mother.

"They love you and sooner or later they'll see it. And you are good enough." Immy said with a smile. "They'll come to realise how truly great you are. How friendly and lovely and cheerful you are. How wonderfully you must play. They'll realise that with you they have a perfect daughter. I'd be proud of you." Immy said with an encouraging tone in her voice.

"My mother, hasn't gone out her room in 6 years. My father doesn't come home from work on most days. When my brothers died, I had just turn 5 and my sister Pixie, was born just two weeks after. I was first to hold her and I got to name her. Then I raised her. My mother was in no state to. My father destroyed almost anything that belong to my brothers. He can't look at me, without thinking of them. I'm pretty sure my mother doesn't even know who Pixie is." Immy said she pulled away from the hug and from under her jumper Immy pulled out a locket. She didn't wear it too often but the day before Immy had chosen to. She held it in her tightly. "My family's fallen apart. It fell apart right in front of my eyes and I couldn't do anything to stop it." Immy sighed slightly.

 

[Kaede Okinawa]

Kaede smiled a little when Immy told her that they would realize it someday. All she had ever wanted was to know that they loved her. Over the past years they hadn't shown her that, but... she would try and find out why, and make things right. She didn't know how, when, or why, but she knew she would have to find out someday.

She held Immy and listened to her until Immy pulled away. There was a brief silence. The type of silence where you can hear a pin drop. Immy pulled out a necklace of some sort, but Kaede couldn't see. "Your family may have fallen apart, but your memory keeps it together. Even though your mother hasn't come out, and your father isn't home, that doesn't mean that they arn't still together. They're just so close but so far away. I don't doubt that they still love you, your father may not look at you, but that doesn't mean it's all your fault, or that he blames you, It may be just that you remind him so much of your brothers, and it hurts too much to think about them." She paused for a few seconds, breathing in long, light breaths. "Have you ever taken Pixie in to see your mother?"

Kaede didn't want to cross Immy's boundaries, she just wanted to be there for her. Especially after she had helped her.

 

[Imogen Day]

Immy nodded. She'd done it several times, now Pixie was having to help her mother while Immy was away. Immy was sure that her mother still thought it was Immy. Imogen had been very young when Pixie was born. Immy had not had a clue what to do. She was still getting over her brothers. Thankfully quite a bit of the baby shopping had been done, but Immy had not known what to do with each thing. It had been a stressful and emotionally draining few days.

"Yeah. I used to. I was 5 when Pixie was born. I was still a child myself. I had no idea what to do. I didn't know anything. I'd watched my mother with my younger when he'd was born but I was even younger. I didn't have a clue, what to do, so I'd go to my mother and ask. She never answered. Not once." Immy said "I don't sleep well most days because, I spend most hours in a day awake back home. There is a lot to do to maintain a home and look after a child and mother."

 

[Kaede Okinawa]

Kaede listened to Immy talk about how she had tried. She didn't know what to say, but she didn't want to leave her friend hanging. She hugged Immy, and pulled away instantly. "I don't know what that's like, since I never really had a mother, but...I know it's hard, and I know it's tough, but be happy that she's still there. She may not speak a lot, or really even know you, but just be happy that she's still with you, even if she's not totally with you." Biting her lip, she thought about what she had just said. "I know it sounds confusing, but it sort've makes sense..."

Immy had said that she didn't sleep well either, which Kaede totally understood. She hadn't slept well for a long time, but she knew with patience and time, she would eventually have a regular sleeping schedule..If she was able to fix things. "Your sleeping issues will fix over the year. I know it's been like that pretty much your whole life, but after a few months it'll start to change to where you'll be sleeping longer."

 

[Imogen Day]

Imogen just nodded. She doubted they would. For 6 years they'd been the same, most night's she tried but she was unable to ever get to sleep till later. Immy did trust in what her friend said and trusted that it would. Hoped that it would. Fighting against her doubt. Immy smiled slightly. She wasn't ready to lose her mother just yet either so was glad that she was still there, not as alive as she had been but alive nonetheless. Immy nodded.

"Thank you"Immy said, Kaede was a good friend. Immy looked down at the half finished drawing on her lap. She took her arm off from around Kaede's shoulder and pulled the drawing out. "Here, I want you to have. It's not really entirely finished but I want you to have it. I don't think it needs to be finished."

 

[Kaede Okinawa]

Kaede noticed the small smile on Immy's lips, and smiled slightly herself. She could tell that it was a hard topic to discuss, she knew that the stuff about her family was hard for her to tell people. That was mostly because they didn't understand, but Kaede felt that Immy did.

Smiling politely she said, "Your welcome." She smiled wider, glad that she had helped Immy, even if it was just a little. Immy had been looking at the piece of paper in her lap for quite some time, but Kaede couldn't see it. All of a sudden, she said she wanted her to have it. It was a beautifully drawn picture. It was full of detail, and looked almost real in Kaede's eyes. "Oh my...." She gaped. "It's beautiful." Immy said that she didn't think it needed to be finished, Kaede nodded. "No, I don't think it does either. Having it half drawn makes it look even more beautiful. It makes me think that we will never be complete, even when we're older. There's always something more to add to our picture.

 

[Imogen Day]

Immy blushed a deep crimson as Kaede complimented her picture. She wasn't too used to compliments so always blushed badly when she got one. Immy smiled and nodded as Kaede spoke. Immy agreed fully with what her friend was saying. Nothing would ever be fully complete. She hoped that maybe in years to come she would be close.

"Yeah, I hope I get close to feeling complete."immy said with a small smile. "I can't finish it anyway. I lost my pencil. I must dropped it when I fell asleep"

 

[Kaede Okinawa]

Kaede saw Immy's cheeks turn a red color after she had complimented her. She knew what that was like, she herself wasn't really complimented much, and she blushed all the time. But she liked being complimented, it made her feel good, which she hoped it had made Immy feel good as well.

Nodding her head, she herself wanted to get close to it too. "I think by the end of our lives, we will get close to it, but there will always be something that we could add to it. But maybe that something is something that we don't necassarily want or need, so we just pass it by, which is why I think that makes us even more human." She looked at Immy as she said she had lost her pencil. Kaede thought, even if it was to be finished, it would take away from the beauty of being complete.

She smiled at the friend she was very glad to have.

 

[Imogen Day]

Immy nodded. She enjoyed being human a lot. It was fun. Being anything else would be quite boring. They wouldn't be able to feel everything that humans did. Everything made being human to Immy more appealing. Thankfully for Immy she was human so she was happy with that. Immy smiled.

"I like being human. It's cool." Immy said with a smile. "As a human you get to make friends with other really cool humans."

 

[Kaede Okinawa]

Kaede smiled at her friend. "I like being a human too, but sometimes I wonder what it's like to be a dolphin, or a bird, just to see what's really out there. Us humans know so much but so little. Sometimes we go as far as to know more than we should, and that usually makes us break down. But I believe I am strong, and hope to stay strong. And making really awesome friends is just a plus to it."

She had met so many people over the years, so many humans that thought they knew everything, and being around those people had caused her to rebel against it. Kaede knew she didn't know everything, and truthfully, she didn't really want to either.

 

[Imogen Day]

Immy just nodded. She liked being human and she wondered what it would be like to be an animal. It might be somehow similar or it could be so different. Either way Immy was very glad to be just be human. She took a deep breath. Breathing in the air of the cliffs. It was nice. Immy was enjoying it.

"It is." Imogen said simply "You're an awesome friend."

 

[Kaede Okinawa]

Kaede blushed when Immy had said she was an awesome friend. No one had ever told her that before. That was mainly because she had never really had a friend before. She was glad that she had met Immy up here, otherwise, she didn't know what she would do. She smiled, and took the cold air into her lungs.

"Thanks, your a great friend too."