Closed Disappointment

[AJ Carpenter]

After looking at the lineup for Quidditch on the common room noticeboard, AJ had been quick to leave the common room. He was frustrated, though he didn't want anyone to see it. He'd made his way all the way down to the student lounge, still annoyed at the results of the tryouts. A first year had been picked over him and it stung. Logically, AJ knew that the first year had been chosen because of the position she played. He had been one of many beaters at the tryouts, but surely he hadn't been the worst one? Being a beater was what he was supposed to do, it's the position his dad played. Now... now AJ couldn't follow in his footsteps, at least not yet. He grabbed a piece of parchment and quill out of his bag as he took a seat. He had promised his family he'd write once he knew, but now he didn't know what to say. Surely they would be just as disappointed in him as he felt? He stared at the blank parchment and wondered how to word things. He couldn't let them know he was upset, that would just worry them. Ugh. He wished he had never told them about the tryouts in the first place.

 

[Eris Athanasiou]

Eris' hate for the Dungeons was fully and officially back. Her chat with the new Head of House had yielded no viable results so far, the woman wasn't going to help her transfer into another house. What even was the point of adults at this point? The second year had made it a mission to spend each and every given moment outside of the dungeons, she might even break curfew if she felt like it and that was why she found herself in front of the student lounge currently. Stepping into the room she scanned the people there. Eris hadn't planned on finding anyone to chat with or hang out with. No, she'd planned on going to sit by the window and opening it a little bit to hear the wind, but when her eyes fell on a familiar face she couldn't help herself but walk towards the Gryffindor she'd clashed with during her first weeks at the castle. Though Eris now considered the two friends, they'd even bonded over curiosity about the relation between their Flight Instructor and former Headmaster. "AJ! Hi, how was your break?" She asked sitting down next to him and peering at the parchment in front of the boy.

 

[AJ Carpenter]

AJ's frowned down at the paper as if it had personally rejected him from the Quidditch team. He glanced up as Eris sat down next to him, giving her what he hoped passed for a smile. "It was fine." He said, though even he heard that he definitely didn't sound fine. He sighed. "What about yours?" He asked quietly, still glaring at the parchment.

 

[Eris Athanasiou]

Eris studied AJ calmly, she'd always been very perceptive but it really didn't take a genius to spot that the boy was staring at his parchment as though it had roasted his puppy on a fire and had it for dinner. "Hmm... my break was okay, my aunt had one of her friends over for two weeks so it was easy to slip away and do my own thing." She admitted, cherishing the memory of her alone time at the training field with just her, her bow and the wind. "What'd that parchment do to you?" She asked curiously, leaning forward to take a closer look at the parchment that didn't even seem to have anything on it.

 

[AJ Carpenter]

AJ tried to listen to what Eris said about her break, but he couldn't really focus. He finally tore his gaze away from the annoying piece of parchment to look at her. "That's good," he said after taking a moment to process what she had said. At her question, he let out a deep sigh. "Just... trying to figure out how to write home that I didn't make the Quidditch team," he muttered. He winced a little at how it sounded. When he said it out loud, it didn't seem like a big deal. But it was.

 

[Eris Athanasiou]

Eris stared at AJ instead of the parchment now, trying to read into his expression a little more. It sounded like it should be easy enough to just write down' Hey, i didn't make the Quidditch team. Cheers!' But something about the way the Gryffindor had stared at the parchment and was saying that gave away that it wasn't that easy. Humming a little Eris pondered on her words, not wanting to be insensitive about it. "Is there a reason why its difficult to write that letter?" She asked, genuinely wanting to understand. "I mean not making the team is never fun, but is there a reason why its.... extra bothersome?" She added, hoping it didn't come off too.... well too blunt.

 

[AJ Carpenter]

AJ wasn't sure what he had expected from Eris, but it wasn't such an insightful question. He shifted in his seat, looking away from her. He wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about his feelings so openly. "I don't like admitting failure to them," he eventually said softly. "It feels like— I don't know. Like I shouldn't." He shrugged. "I doubt they care as much as I do. My brother might make fun of me, but I can take that, I just... feel like a disappointment." He ran his hand over his face. "I guess I'm overreacting a bit," he muttered, though he didn't sound like he really believed it.

 

[Eris Athanasiou]

Eris watched silently as AJ looked away from her, she let him have his space to consider her question. Letting him say what he was feeling was the first step, she didn't want to give her opinion until he'd gotten what was bothering him off of his chest first. "It isn't failure though." Eris said once she felt it was safe to give her two cents. "A lot of kids tryout for the team but don't make the cut, doesn't mean you failed." She spoke softly. "And I am sure they wouldn't care whether you made it or not, they'd probably just be proud you tried out you know." That was what Hera was everytime any of the younger sisters did literally anything. Sofia and Jason not so much, but Hera always was proud. That was what family did, celebrated even the small things, whether one made it to the team or not. "I don't think you are overreacting, it was clearly important to you and feeling disappointed or sad over it is normal." Eris added to the way he said he was overreacting, though he didn't sound convinced he was either. "Trust me, I have lived my whole life with a sister that reacts to everything like its the end of the world, but I think she has the right to feel her emotions just as you do." Mania was sometimes the definition of overreacting, especially when it came to rejection of any sort.

 

[AJ Carpenter]

AJ listened to what Eris said, but shook his head slightly when she said it wasn't failure. She was being nice, but it was. There was no denying that trying out and not getting it was failing. "Maybe. Probably," he muttered as she said they would be proud he tried out. "It just sucks, I tried out for beater because—" he paused for a moment, "because my dad used to play as a beater. I just want to do the same. But there were like five people trying out for beater and I- I clearly wasn't good enough." He stopped again, taking a moment to calm down before he let his emotions take over. He glanced at her as she spoke about her sister, it made him think of his own sisters. He wouldn't say they were overreacting if they felt like he did now, but he held himself to a higher standard. He forced a small smile. "Thank you," he said after a moment. "I only just saw it, I guess I just need to take some time. Better luck next year, maybe." He put his quill down on the table. "You know, you're surprisingly wise for a girl that was hanging out of a window a year ago."

 

[Eris Athanasiou]

Eris felt a pang of sympathy hit her when AJ explained why it meant so much to him. She could understand that and before she knew it there was a slight frown on her face. "I see.. I do archery because it is what my dad loved." She blurted out, she hadn't said it to many people apart from Professor Adler at school. Hadn't admitted the real reason why she wanted to excel at it. "He competed in Archery and it makes me feel closer to him. Everytime I miss the bulls eye I feel like I disappoint him or might not be worthy of his old bow." She told AJ, toying with her hands a little in front of her. He'd been honest with her, she could only offer the same. "I am sure you can try out next year and maybe if nothing else, you can try for another position? I don't know how it works other than my sister is a Keeper and she finds it rewarding and fun. Maybe you can follow in your father's footsteps but in your own terms, if beater is such a desired position?" She offered another solution.

Eris was about to tell AJ it was no problem when he went and brought up the way they'd initially met. She grinned fully now as she looked back up at him. "I know right? I have my moments," she said, flipping her hair theatrically. "You'll be happy to know that I have tried to stay out of danger while listening to the wind though! No more hanging out of the windows.... mostly anyways." Eris told the Gryffindor with a proud smile.

 

[AJ Carpenter]

AJ's eyes widened a little as Eris spoke about doing archery because her dad loved it. He had never talked to anyone before that got it. He nodded slightly as she kept talking, strangely wording his own feelings out loud. He had felt like his dad would be disapointed in him, and he hadn't even realized it until Eris had voiced it out loud. He didn't care about Cassius' jokes or his siblings' opinions, it was his dad he feared to disappoint. He felt a lump in his throat, but stubbornly pushed it down. He nodded. "Maybe," he said after she suggested he try out for a different position. "I'm not sure— I've never really tried anything else." It had always been clear to him that he had to be exactly like his dad. The idea of trying out for something else hadn't even occurred to him.

He laughed softly at her words about listening to the wind. He still didn't entirely get it. "Maybe you should try out for Quidditch, you can listen to the wind very well from a broomstick in the air," het joked.

 

[Eris Athanasiou]

Eris was glad she'd gotten to tell someone her own age the reason behind why she loved archery so much, someone else other than Alfred she'd met before school started. It was also different telling it to AJ now, because for some reason she felt like they understood each other in that sense, both wanted to follow in their fathers footsteps. "You have a whole year to think about it. There's no rush to decide now if you'll keep trying out for beater or if you go for something else." She told him truthfully, there really was no rush. "you could even try out other positions at the pitch on your own, I can even help you if you'd like. My uncle wanted all of us to become professional quidditch players so I know my way around the game a little." She'd never become a player herself though.

Eris snorted at AJ's joke about her trying out for quidditch too. Nope. That was Gaia's turf, Eris had no interest in the sport. "I think I'll pass. I think that'd be probably more dangerous than hanging out of a window, no? Imagine I listen to the wind and a bludger is shot my way and hits me right off my broom. No thank you." She said, still laughing softly. "I do enjoy flying though."

 

[AJ Carpenter]

AJ nodded at Eris' advice. He knew it was good advice, even if he still felt like he had failed his father by not getting the position he'd had. It was nice to hear a reassuring voice. "Thanks, I may take you up on that," he said as she offered to help him train.

He smiled a bit as she spoke about Quidditch. "Fair enough, but it makes sense you like flying since you like being high up." He hesitated, wondering if it was rude to bring it up. "Have you... gotten used to the Slytherin common room yet?"

 

[Eris Athanasiou]

Eris grinned at AJ as he said he might take her up on the offer. "Oh feel free to whenever!" She told him, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned back in her seat. She gave a shrug at his observation about it making sense since she had a thing for being high up. There was still a smile on the second years face when AJ brought up her.... common room. The exact reason she was here now.

Smile turned into a frown as Eris huffed out some air. "I was yes, it actually started to grow on me at the end of first year. You know, I realized I should just make the most of it while I could?" She admitted, it really had started to grow on her. "But then, well I got to live above ground for two months or so, feel the wind out of my window whenever I wanted back home in Greece and...." She explained, stopping herself just before admitting the next part. "Then I came back to school, realizing I'd be restricted underground for a good portion." There was only a small amount of bitterness in her tone, it was more just resignation. She wanted to open her window without a maggot accidentally falling into her room, but being in the dungeons really didn't make it possible. "I know it's not that huge of a deal, but you know what it doesn't really even matter." It wasn't like she could do anything about it, she'd have to deal with it.

 

[AJ Carpenter]

AJ grimaced as he listened to Eris talk abuot her living situation. He felt bad for her. As far as he was concerned, the Slytherins really got the short end of the stick when it came to their common room and dorms. It was a good thing he was in Gryffindor, though he knew that wouldn't help Eris. "Well, I'd offer to let you stay with me, but they wouldn't allow that," he told her. "Besides, Gryffindor boys are messy. I might have all the wind I want, but there are smelly socks everywhere." He pulled a face. AJ wasn't the neatest person in the world, but living with five siblings had made him careful of keeping track of his things. "I have a feeling Slytherin girls are neater, at least."

 

[Eris Athanasiou]

Eris gave a small, appreciative, smile to AJ as he said he'd offer for her to stay with him if it were allowed. It was a nice sentiment though. The next words made her snort again and then she made a face that said 'ew' and shook her head. "Yeah... no thank you I don't need any smelly socks my way..." She said still laughing a little. Eris wasn't the clean freak her aunt was, but she was hardly the messiest out of her family. That spot was either Gaia's or Nia's, Eris liked to keep her space clean and tidy most of the time. "Yeah, I mean my roommate did bring a plant into our dorm last year. A plant that spat on us both and then she got the soil everywhere too... but no dirty socks for now." Eris admitted smiling, she and Amanita had gotten away with that whole thing thankfully. Eris had been worried the other girls dad would find out but they'd covered the whole fiasco up like the champs they were.

 

[AJ Carpenter]

AJ nodded and grimaced a little. "Neither do I, yet here I am," he joked. "But I guess I'm used to it. At least my roommates don't launch them at my head when I annoy them, unlike my brother." As Eris told a story about her roommate bringing a spitting plant in, AJ laughed softly. "Okay, I might take the socks anyway. At least they've never spit at me," he said, holding up his hands. He paused for a moment. "Thanks for listening to me, by the way. I think I can write that letter now." He said, glancing down at the parchment he had all but forgotten about for a moment. "Better luck next year, right?"

 

[Eris Athanasiou]

Eris' smile fell and her eyes grew in size when AJ said his brother DID WHAT WITH HIS SOCKS. "He launches them at you?" Eris was appalled. So far her only brother was just a toddler so he was cute and only did cute things. A shiver went through the second years body at the thought of anyone flinging their dirty socks at her. No thank you. Regaining the smile before, only this time much softer, Eris gave a nod. "Anytime, that's what friends are for. Right?" She said, it was nice to know she'd helped him. "Better luck next year, time for me to go hang out of a window with the wind!" The Slytherin couldn't help but add the last bit with a grin that said she was just teasing him.