Cold as Ice

[Hadan Winters]

Hadan trudged outside, while it was cloudy. It was the only time she actually could even step outside without something completely covering her thin, white body. She moved, silent and swift, as always. Hadan's red eyes gazed over at the lake, unable to tell whether it was frozen or no. Hadan stopped and stood in front of it. She stared into the cloudy sky, her mind racing with memories of the past. Hadan pulled her hood over her head, to protect her ears from the weather. Hadan bit her lip, as she looked more like Death from behind.

Hadan's true emotions washed over her face, if only for a moment. Anger. Sorrow. Depression. All these mixed into one. Hadan shoved them away, her face returning to her natural, stone cold face. She had to wear it. She had lost her entire family. Seen the majority of them die. Hadan sighed, blaming herself for Tamara's and Venita's deaths. Hadan picked up a pebble, and threw it as far as she possibly can. This was often how she handled her emotions, especially at Durmstrang.

She would never reveal what she did in Durmstrang. It was cruel, but it also served a purpose. That was one of the reasons why she wanted to go back, go back and continuing to handle her issues in a different way. But here, everything was warmer, more friendly. She enjoyed that. Hadan thought that she would forget everything, after her adoption, but it still haunted her nightmares. Hadan had tried to adjust to not sleeping, and actually came close to it. A three hour nap every few days helped, a lot. Although, Hadan did have to admit, she was much stronger than the average person that went through this.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey had been sitting in the common room, hoping to come across her new found friend Brandon, Theodore or Noah, but had soon become bored with waiting, so she went back up to her dorm room to quickly grab a sweater. She grabbed a thick black sweater and rushed out of the Slytherin house as she pulled it over her head gently.

As she reached the Entrance Hall she got a glimpse of Isabella, she quickly left the caslte, not wanting to be stuck in a conversation with her, not now anyways, she was so boring, Alyssa had been getting a little bit less boring but she was still irritating and concieted. She sighed as she made her way down towards the lake front. She began playing with the tips of of her braids boredly.

She looked over when she spotted a body a few feet in front of her, she shrugged her shoulders and decided that she would go talk to them, she had nothing better to do. She pulled up her hood over her head when she felt a strong gust of wind, well it was a soft one but with Abbey's size it felt strong, and cleared her throat when she reached the person.

She looked over at them and forced a smile, but it didn't touched her violet eyes, they looked emotionless and cold, which was how she felt now, she was quite upset with everything happening in her life. "Hello," she said in her normal harmonious voice, then looked back over the lake and sighed sadly, her eyes danced frustratedly as she waited for the response of the person by her.

[sorry for the late/lame post]

 

[Hadan Winters]

Hadan heard someone walk her way, but she was too much in thought to actually pay attention. Hadan then heard the voice, and she muttered, "Abbey." Hadan glanced in her direction, her red eyes cold. Hadan examined Abbey, and almost recognized the body behavior, as well as the violet eyes. Hadan folded her arms across her chest, and glared over the lake. "I hear sadness in your sigh. If you don't mind me asking, but what is going on with you?"

Hadan thought to herself. Surely she cannot be going through what I am going through. Even if things are looking up, I am still living in a dangerous family. Hadan had never been in such a powerful family before. But the power could be fatal. Especially if there was a chance that Chavdar would be hurt...again, by Asparuh. Hadan could not believe, not unless she saw the scar first. Asparuh might have been a Death Eater, but still, he wouldn't do that.

Hadan removed her hood, revealing her black hair, which was slightly longer than she had it at the first of the year. It was cold, but then again, so was Hadan's skin. The icy gusts of wind did not bother her much. Not anymore. She had grown accustomed to Durmstrang's winter. Now that was almost unbearable. Hadan tried to hide all her fury and such, but every so often, it revealed in her eyes. I should go back to my training. Hadan concluded in her mind.

Haha, mine is lamer.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey looked over at the person as they said her name, she noticed that it was Haden, she responded with, "Hadan." She crossed her arms against her chest when she heard Hadan's next question then sighed gently and said distantly, "It's complicated." She frowned frustratedly and looked down at her hands, she wrinkled her nose as she remembered the pain she went through during the summer, and went through each day through memories.

She looked over at Hadan and narrowed her eyes on Hadan's red ones and asked, "And yourself?" Abbey could see the girls anger in her eyes, but could see that there was much more there, she had always been great at reading peoples emotions through their expressions, it was a certain talent of hers, the girls at the orphanage found it useful during the summer because she could always tell when the man was upset or frustrated or wanted... something else.

This of course had caused her to be the person that he had went to to cause pain, physically, emotionally and sexually. Abbey blinked her eyes to hide her emotions once more but she had very expressive eyes, but her facials, were quite the opposite. She snaked her arms around her chest and looked back over the lake, wondering what to say next, or what to talk about next, she just didn't want to stay on the topic they could very well get into from this, there had been too many people that knew about her, she just wasn't ready, she didn't think she ever would be, it was too frightening.

 

[Hadan Winters]

Hadan heard the same thing that she had used a long time ago. It's complicated. Hadan could not help but close her eyes at this. Hadan turned to face her, and muttered, "I'm frustrated." Hadan's eyes went to the cloudy sky. Could she trust this girl? Hadan did not know. Abbey seemed like a trustworthy person, however, seemed also slightly weak. Hadan had no room to talk though, for Hadan thought of herself as weak right now.

Hadan murmured, "The past is coming back to haunt me. And let's just say that I have to get started on my training again." Hadan usually took out her emotions through martial arts. Some of her family were like that. However, all her past experiences changed her. She had become ice. Always hiding, always running. She had faced the past multiple times, but then again, it would always lurk around.

Hadan bent down and grabbed a pebble, before flinging it far out into the lake. Hadan knew that she could not handle it if Asparuh or Chavdar were killed. She actually cared for them. She called Chavdar "dad" now. And Asparuh "grandfather". Hadan grew calm once more, her eyes went from emotional back to their natural state. Cold. Hadan shook her head. She would have to start sneaking out of the Slytherin House, go to an empty classroom, and get started on training once more.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

"With?" Abbey asked distantly when Hadan said that she was frustrated. She opened her eyes a little wider when the girl said that her past is coming back to haunt her, that was almost exactly what she had said to Noah. She frowned as she thought, Is it at all possible that we have.. similar pasts? She pushed that thought to the back of her mind, hoping that she could just ignore it today, but it was a bad day, she felt like she was going to flip from frustration, she needed some way to expel her emotions aside from crying, her eyes were beginning to hurt, and she felt like she was completely unable to cry anymore. "Training?" she asked lately, in response to Hadan's earlier words.

She looked over at Hadan as she skipped a stone into the lake and saw a glimpse of emotion in her eyes before they went to a cold stony red, one that would give a normal person night mares, but Abbey was not one of those people, and she found Hadan's red eyes intriguing, she wondered if she got any questions like Abbey did but she shook it off, taking in the eerie silence that seemed to be her life now.

 

[Hadan Winters]

Hadan turned to her, and nodded, "If one has seen what I have seen, or gone through what I have gone through, then life can get unbearable." Hadan glanced over lake, realizing that over her family's death, Hadan has not cried. Not even once. She had a special way of dealing with her emotions, and crying showed weakness, naturally. Hadan glanced at the ground. "My training, well, it helps deal with the past, and also helps make the person stronger, mentally and physically."

Hadan landed her gaze on Abbey. Hadan inquired, her voice barely above a whisper, "Surely you wouldn't need training, unless your past is like mine." Hadan thought that it was impossible. Hadan had gotten her sister blown up, by accident. She distracted her mother before she fell to her demise. Hadan bit her lip slightly, before casting another hard, cold glare at the lake.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

"If one has seen what I have seen, or gone through what I have gone through, then life can get unbearable," Hadan had said.

Abbey blinked her eyes curiously at this, her eyes gazed over to the lake, as if expecting an explanation for what Hadan had been through, but one did not come, so she exhaled quietly and turned her head back to Hadan, she looked at the girls pale skin, that was much like hers, Hadan looked breakable and weak, as did Abbey. Her violet eyes were sunken and cold, her skin was more pale then it ever should be, and her hair was a deep contrast with it, but it too seemed to have lost it's colour. "I've been through more then a normal persons fair share of problems," she murmured simply, though it was quite the opposite of simple, it was very complicated.

Abbey's eyes turned to stone at Hadan's whispered words, and her stomach churned, but her expression was one of complete and utter calmness, like there wasn't a war raging on inside of her. "As I said earlier I've been through a lot," she muttered, knowing that it was quite the understatement, but she was not looking for pity, or sympathy, she just did not want to be afraid any more.

She hoped that the girl beside her was not looking for an explanation because it was quite clear that she would not give it, she didn't care if anyone knew that her parents were murdered but there were so many other things that she couldn't share. My parents were Death Eaters, they were murdered by Aurors when I was 3 months old. My older sister and I were separated for 11 years after that, we met last year, now she is MIA, and possibly dead. When I went back to my orphanage over summer holidays I was abused many ways, then I ran away and now I live on the street, I doubt this girl could understand what I have been through, she thought to herself, not wincing or cringing at all, though she felt a shiver crawl up her spine slowly, eerily as she thought about her orphanage.

 

[Hadan Winters]

Hadan turned her curiosity to Abbey. Hadan sighed, and murmured, "I can see that." However, Hadan's gaze remained on the lake. The icy wind blew her hair back slightly. Hadan could not help but wonder how much longer she had to live. Her family members were picked off, one by one, by the most unusual accidents. She was the last one of the Sediro and Johnson generation. Hadan, however, did not share the same pitiful bubbly attitude the Johnson's had.

Hadan remained silent, her mind questioning whether Abbey was really telling the truth. Some did like to exaggerate a simple problem, but then again, others would be telling the truth. Hadan began to question truth, just what was it? Hadan did not blink, while she was in thought. The silence seemed almost too loud for her. She finally glanced down, a tiny change in her stone-like posture.

Hadan muttered, "Everyone has their story. Some are just unwilling to share it." Hadan stared at Abbey. "Some stories are more horrible than others. Tragedies, more or less." Hadan rested her arms beside her body, her white hands stood out against her black robes. Hadan turned back to the lake. "That is the reason why my story has never been shared. Stories should only be passed on to those whom the teller deems trustworthy. And no one has ever met my requirements. That is another reason why I don't pressure you to reveal yours."

No one here knows everything that has happened to me. Only one knows about my twin sister. But the events after that are a mystery. In fact, to the majority of the people around, I am nothing but a mystery. My story is mine alone. The only good outcome out of this all, is that I know martial arts and I am stronger than I ever could have imagined when I was eleven.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey bowed her head thankfully at Hadan's words and responded with, "I've told one, the others figured it out for themselves." Her words were cold and distant and she glared at the lake with hatred. She hated the children that got everything they wanted, that had no worries, and probably never would, she loathed them with a passionate fire that she knew she could never put out, only hide.

She closed her mouth, not breathing, part of her hoped that she would just die at this moment, but after a small moment of time, her nose instinctively inhaled. She flared her nostrils as if having an argument with her body for following what it needed and not what she wanted.

When relaxed she shot Hadan a sideways glance, then looked down at the ground, as if she was so exhausted she couldn't keep her head up any longer. Reluctantly Abbey stood beside the pale girl, she felt her stomach flip with curiosity as she tried to figure out whether Hadan was telling the truth and what her truth be. She knew that there were people that had things worse off then her, and admittedly she was relieved with that, she didn't care how selfish that may seem, it was the truth, she wouldn't be able to handle if there weren't people starving in poorer countries, people dying from malaria, she would just be the most depressed child there could be, but it would be hidden in her seemingly soft exterior.

[lame ^^]

 

[Hadan Winters]

Hadan gave Abbey a faint smile, and murmured, "Obviously, you aren't an open book, for I haven't figured it out yet. I haven't really tried yet either." Hadan spoke truthfully. She was excellent at reading people, but only when she wanted to. She did not want to waste her time with half the people she knew or seen. Some wouldn't even be worthy of even attempting to read.

Hadan turned to Abbey, and inquired, "You want to know, don't you?" Hadan was unsure whether she should even share her story with the girl. Hadan assumed that Abbey was telling the truth, since her appearance spoke it alone. Hadan faced the lake, half of her wishing she could confide in someone, and the other half wanting Abbey to just say no. Hadan remained silent, cold. Hadan offered, seeing her look as if she was exhausted, "You know you don't have to stand just because I am. You look rather tired."

Hadan was accustomed to not sleeping, and wondered if this was the case with Abbey. Hadan only knew one way of stopping nightmares. And that was by not getting much sleep, if any at all.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey lifted the corner of her lips so it formed a small smirk, her eyes usually shared all of her emotions and thoughts so she was quite pleased with all of this, but her lips went straight once more and she stayed silent on that.

"You want to know, don't you?"

Abbey lifted her head up as Hadan spoke to her and she pursed her lips in thought, she was not going to push the girl to respond to the questions that were zooming through her mind as Hadan had been understanding enough to do the same to her. "I do.. but I'm satisfied," she murmured quietly, then she blinked her eyes as if refusing Hadan's offer, if she truly wanted to sit Abbey would sit.

"I'm fine," she muttered, her tone had been slightly colder then she had meant them to, she opened her mouth for a hasty apology, but only a small exhale came out of her thin pink lips, nothing more, she wasn't at the orphanage, and she could speak as freely as she wished. So she closed her mouth firmly before adding, "I don't sleep." As of late anyways, she corrected herself in her thoughts. I do nap though, a few minutes every few days and I'm good, she thought with a small smirk, she had gotten quite good at this at the orphanage, most of the girls slept through their fear, drifting off to dreamland seemed to make them forget that they were getting hit daily but not Abbey, she was smarter then that, she would not be manipulated in such a way.

She would not forget, she could not, because when you did, when you got rid of that shield it all went down, everything did. Abbey felt this way anyhow and she would not go through what she did during the summer, she would never do it again.

 

[Hadan Winters]

Hadan smirked slightly, "To be honest, the story is rather...dark. Needless to say, I can see Thestrals..." Hadan had never seen one, but she read about them once before. A person who could see a Thestral has seen death, and Hadan had seen three. Although it would have been four if she had been there of her father's fatal accident. Hadan bit her lip, as her memories washed over her, and Hadan closed her eyes. She shoved them away, and continued to stare out over the lake.

Hadan glanced at Abbey, and cocked her head slightly to the side, "You don't either? Strange, I haven't seen you around at night, unless you stay in the Slytherin House." Hadan always wondered out at night. That was the only time that she could be outside, in normal clothing, and not shielding her skin from the sun. Hadan's body tensed slightly, before relaxing again. Hadan was testing her muscles, to make sure they were still there. Hadan sighed silently. Training would begin very, very soon.

Hadan picked up another pebble, and threw it as far as she could, which was farther than a normal girl's throw. Hadan smirked, as it skidded across the ice. She was half hoping the ice would crack, and actually see a splash of dark water.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey smirked as Hadan did, when she mentioned Thestrals she had to recall what she had read in Asher's text books to make sure what she knew was what she knew. "I can as well," she murmured, she didn't find the death of her parents to be the worst any more, she had made the little peace she could with it. She frowned as she remembered seeing a girl named Erin at the orphanage die, then she sighed gently.

She shrugged her shoulders slightly and said plainly, "I stay in my dorm room." Abbey blinked once and then pursed her lips in thought, I don't want to get caught out of the House. She frowned to herself, when had she gotten so.. cautious? She had always been the one to do what ever she wanted, the one to do things that could hurt someone with out caring. Maybe.. it... wasn't so bad, she thought lamely then rolled her eyes at herself.

 

[Hadan Winters]

Hadan gave her a curious glance, "Really? How...common of us." Hadan normally would have asked who, but this was a touchy subject. Hadan simply shook her head. Things were supposed to be looking up, but she guessed that even with a new family, a new home, one can never simply forget the past. It would be much, much easier. Hadan sighed, and put her hood back over her head, when she saw that the clouds were beginning to thin, brightening up the area slightly.

Hadan laughed, inaudibly. A rule follower, who would have guessed? she thought. Hadan muttered, "No wonder I don't see you. I stay outside the dorms." Hadan had never cared about rules. She had no rules, nothing holding her back from what she believed in. And, she was not afraid to let others know that either. Hadan smiled faintly, wondering who else lived by their own rules. Hadan did numerous things, including hurt others, and helped. Hadan shrugged slightly, I am not evil, nor am I good. I just do what I want...

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey rolled her eyes once at Hadan's words then shot her a curious glance when she laughed at her. She furrowed her eye brows but relaxed them once more when Hadan spoke. "I avoid groups of people at all cost," she muttered, more to herself then anyone. She knew this was true, but she felt a little pathetic about this. But if anyone knew why she was so afraid they would understand. But Abbey was not looking for that, she was looking for a way to not be scared anymore.

"So.." she began quietly. "Where did you say you transferred from?" Abbey asked curiously, she couldn't remember for the life of her, but she wasn't even all that sure if she cared too much for her, it didn't matter, it was just something to say to have some conversation. It was clearly a distraction from what they were talking about, she didn't want to stay on the subject much more, she already felt nauseous and sad, if they stayed on it, it would be so much worse.

[Sorry if it doesn't make sense.. I'm doing something else at the same time]

 

[Hadan Winters]

Hadan grinned slightly at Abbey's words. As far as she could tell, it was the opposite way around. Hadan shrugged, "For me, it is people doing the avoiding. I think it is the whole red eyes and white skin ordeal. It is 'scary'. So, I only socialize when those come to me." Hadan shifted her posture so she had her light weight evenly distributed on both legs. When she used the word 'scary' she added an eye roll to it. She found it both amusing and annoying.

Hadan sighed. Durmstrang was a touchy subject, but she nonetheless answered the question, "I transferred from Durmstrang. That school that teaches the Dark Arts." Because of that, Hadan was hooked to the Dark Arts, and she was determined to read more on it, when she was older. Chavdar wouldn't allow her now. He said that reading one incantation wrong could end deadly. Hadan wondered why Abbey chose to stray off topic, but Hadan was slightly relieved that she did. The last thing she wanted to do was spill her story out. She had to deal with this alone, because being along was all she knew how to do now.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey let out an amused laugh at Hadan's words and said, "You'd think some people have never seen or heard of an albino." She shook her head and rolled her eyes gently. "People just gawk at my eyes like their confused dogs, it's quite irritating," she commented with another rolls of her eyes.

She blinked her eyes when Hadan mentioned the Dark Arts, a malicious smirk showed in her eyes, but her expression went back to distant and cold. She shrugged her shoulders and said, "That sounds.. interesting," she said, knowing her words were a bit of an understatement for her. She wanted so badly to follow her parents foot steps with the Dark Arts. For some reason she thought that she would have a connection with them if she did, but part of her knew that would never happen, they were gone, for ever.

 

[Hadan Winters]

Hadan simply shrugged, "I'm not worried over it. Irritating, yes, but having odd colored eyes can be useful." Hadan glanced at Abbey's own odd colored eyes. "Difference between yours and mine is obvious. Purple is a royal, beautiful hue. Red associates with evil somehow." Hadan did not know whether she was evil or not. She decided not to go down the path of good or the path of evil. No, she wanted to make her own path.

Hadan nodded, "I adored Durmstrang. I like this place and all, but I don't fit in. The people here are nicer, yes. But in Durmstrang, I felt...different. It wasn't until...never mind." Hadan cut herself off before saying anything else. She had transferred back on the account of her mother dying. Hadan remembered the things that happened before Chavdar arrived. She glanced at the ground, softly kicking the pebbles underneath her boots. Hadan's gaze went back to the lake. She owned a lot to Chavdar, and she did not even know it until recently.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey smiled at Hadan then said, a little awkwardly, "Thanks." She looked down, feeling a little anxious as Hadan looked into her eyes, as proud as she was of them, she was just not ready for that sort of attention on her. She furrowed her brow at the albino girl's next words. She knew that she shouldn't ask, but curiosity engulfed her and it seemed to control her words at the moment. "Until what?" she asked, before she firmly shut her mouth.

Abbey looked at the ground and kicked it roughly as she waited for Hadan to refuse answering her question, which was what she would have done, well she would have given a little information, and the rest would be clear in her eyes, which she hated. "Sorry, you don't need to answer that," she added shyly then made a fist out of her small hands, which turned her knuckles white even though all of her exposed skin was pink from the cold.

 

[Hadan Winters]

Hadan simply stared at the ground, almost knowing that Abbey would have asked. Should she avoid the question? Hadan chose not to. After all, she was about to spill it anyway. Hadan muttered, staring at the lake, "Until my mother died in front of me." Hadan remembered watching her mother fall from the ladder, after Hadan accidentally distracted her and she fell to her grave, so to speak.

Hadan added, "Don't say 'Sorry for your loss'. It is such a broken record." Hadan rolled her eyes at it. How many times had she heard that in her life? Too many to count. Hadan bowed her head slightly, and murmured, "If you planned on saying it in the first place." Hadan held her head back up, to stare straight ahead. Her eyes went cloudy as if she were thinking about something deeply. Hadan's fingers traced the material of her robes, feeling the softness.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey took a deep breath as she waited for Hadan's response, then it came: "Until my mother died in front of me." A frown crossed Abbey's lips, but she was not about to say that she was sorry for the girls loss, in fact she was about to say, At least you knew her. She looked over at Hadan and said, "I wasn't going to, it's a stupid thing to say, and more then not the person saying it doesn't care at all."

She shrugged her shoulders and said, "My parents were murdered before I could even say a word, I understand.. I guess." Truth be told Abbey didn't, she understood how much it hurt not to have your parents around but she knew that she hadn't been there when they were murdered but she had probably experienced more then Hadan, worse she wasn't sure, because this wasn't a competition. That's so morbid, even for me, she thought with a slight sigh.

 

[Hadan Winters]

Hadan finally laughed, softly. She finally had a smile on her face, even if it was tiny and only lasted for a moment. "Thanks for sparing me. I have heard that for so many years, it is ridiculous, and I just snap at the person say it." Hadan recalled someone at Durmstrang saying sorry for her cousin's loss, and Hadan assaulted them with insults.

Hadan simply shrugged, "Sucks when parents either die or are murdered. When did you lose yours, if you don't mind me asking." Hadan shook her head, knowing full well that her father was dead, but Hadan did not care. He wasn't around, so why should she? Hadan did feel a tiny bit distraught when the news came, but she was over it within a few days. After losing a twin sister, what more is there to lose? Hadan sighed silently, blaming herself for Tamara's death. Sometimes Hadan wished that she never knew her family, just to have some kind of relief. However, if one did not know them, then one would yearn for them anyway.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey smiled at Hadan and said, "I don't think I could go as far as snap at them, but I usually make an effort to ignore them." She shrugged her shoulders gently then bit her lip and tapped her chin as she tried to do the math, she couldn't remember when she was born though, she never did celebrate them, they were pointless, it was just another day in her books. "In April of 2009..If I have my math right," she said with a small shrug. She gave Hadan a look that said that it really didn't matter, which wasn't all true, she missed them but it certainly wasn't her main problem now. If they were alive I wouldn't have been abused at all, she thought frustratedly. Even though she knew it wasn't her parents fault now, she was just so angry and they were the ones that had been caught being Death Eaters and were murdered because of it, so really it was their fault.. right?