"Chase"ing Emotions

[Kialla Chase]

Holidays of 2035. Smith Manor, Scotland.

Kialla still hated dresses. Even though she was required to wear one whenever she was at home and had only a few pairs of jeans and t-shirts, it didn't stop her from trying to sneak around in her more comfortable clothes. Unfortunately, her Grandmother was home, so she had no other choice but to walk around in a dress, though she did her best to dress it down as much as possible, like wearing no shoes. Kialla's Grandmother had gone a little nuts since the Death of her Grandfather. Richard had been a comforting influence on her and so far Isla had been attending all the family gatherings in her place. Meredith was off doing Merlin knows what and she hadn't seen Abel around in weeks, though she had only gotten back to the Manor a few days ago. She sighed and fell back onto her bed, groaning as she landed on a Potions book. She rolled her eyes and pulled it out from underneath her shaking her head and tossing it to the side. Benji was supposed to be coming over today, but she didn't know when she was going to get here, he usually just showed up. She'd told her Uncle that he was coming and he had given her the Garden. She liked the Garden, it was where she got a lot of her ingredients. Though the weather was cool today and there was a slight breeze, it was average temperature for July and it didn't bother Kialla. It was only the heat she really couldn't deal with. She hated sweating, it was part of the reason she wore so little when she was in Hogwarts, did non-sweating charms exist? That would be good, maybe she could get someone to invent one, that would be cool. She could possibly ask one of the family spell wavers to create one if one was not already in existence.

One of the house elves knocked on her door and she allowed it to enter her room. She didn't really like house elves, no one in her family did, so she only allowed it to enter to just past the threshold, after that, it stopped and curtsied at her. She didn't look at it, but instead gestured for it to speak. "Mistress, Sita has been sent to tell Mistress that Master Chase Sir is in the Garden." Kialla nodded and sent the House elf away before getting off of the bed and shaking her head to clear her thoughts. She had been getting more and more frustrated with her best friend and things just weren't getting any easier. It was like he was teasing her, but she knew that he just honestly didn't understand. She sighed and headed out of her room and down the stairs to the Garden. Not many people used the Garden so that was something at least, she wouldn't be disturbed unless by a house elf for dinner or by her Uncle for something important. Only her younger siblings were in the manor today, but they were all in their bedrooms doing whatever they did when she wasn't in their presence. Sometimes she wondered how she survived in this family. Finally Kialla made her way into the Garden and smiled when she saw Benji. She was happy to see him despite the fact that she saw him all the time at school, here she was actually alone with him and it would give her a chance to vent to him all the while hinting as much as she possibly could. Surely if she tried hard enough, he would just get it, right?

"Benny!" Kialla ran the rest of the way and pulled the boy straight into the biggest hug she could manage with her petite size. He was bigger then her, obviously and so this was not at all as easy as she had thought. She laughed slightly and let him go, grinning at him. She loved hanging around with Benjamin, he was definitely someone who could get her out of her bedroom. She liked being in there because she wouldn't have to face her family. They didn't really get along. "I'm glad you're here you know. I thought I was going to go mad up in my room all day!" She told him, "I have to vent now, so go sit over there and I'll vent." She told him, pointing to one of the stone benches. Man, this was going to be very interesting.
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[Benjamin Chase]

Dressing up casually was too easy for any boy like Benjamin. However, dressing up in order to gain respect from a powerful pureblood matriarch was quite the task. Looking at the mirror, he saw a tall, lean boy fixing his hair into not too neatly and casually. Somewhere in the middle since he was going for the relaxed and calm type of guy look. Benjamin surveyed his clothes, thinking that they were perfect and did not need to be changed anymore. He swore it; if Victoria told him one more time to change something with what he was wearing, he'd jinx her with his own wand even if the Ministry would have to seize his it after. Benjamin looked at his wristwatch and saw that in a minute, his portkey would be activated. His own reflection looked good, flaunting off what kind features he had gained as a young man. Benjamin felt excited to spend the day off with his best friend, even if her grandmother's eyes would be all over the place watching their every action within each second. But who cared? It was not like Benjamin planned to knock Kialla down. In fact he was hoping the two could probably eat their hearts out whilst talking. To him, that was good talk.

After the portkey took him just in front of the magnificent Smith manor, Benjamin stumbled, catching his footing before anyone else saw him fall on his ass embarrassingly. He inhaled sharply, trying to ignore the mild uneasy feeling in his stomach. An elf, who called herself Sita, approached him nervously. "Master Chase, it's a pleasure sir." Benjamin nodded back, like any pureblood would do and composed himself whilst the elf wrung its hands. The Smith manor was still splendid in its grandeur, showing its massive structure with the evidence of different plants surrounding it. Where Benjamin lived did not have much of a variety of flowers, unfortunately. "Kialla's awake, I hope?" He gathered the elf's sign of approval which involved a nervous shake of its head. For some reason, it seemed intimidated by Benjamin's approach to it. That's what the real Master Chase, Arthur Chase, did when he regarded elves. He spoke with authority and at the same time, taught Benjamin that these creatures were meant to serve and they aimed to please always. "Do tell her grandmother of my presence. I don't want to surprise the hell out of her." The last thing Benjamin wanted was a lecture. He could easily get one from his mother by just bringing Victoria to explore the woods. "You know what, that could wait. Take me to Kialla first." He rearranged his coat as he listened to Sita's request to follow her to the garden. Apparently, Kialla reserved the place just for them. "Lead the way."

It was quiet in the garden of the Smiths. Although, the perfect weather made Benjamin appreciate the beauty of the flowers as he was all alone. They were all blooming and if only he brought his mother here, she would be delighted. Benjamin wondered what the different kinds of shrubs were, and if they were ever put to use. His thoughts drove him away from reality and only did he come back to the present when he heard the familiar voice of Kia running to him. He opened his arms wide to greet her. "Great to see you!" Benjamin returned her hug back, and even chuckled because of her enthusiasm. When he released her, he looked at what she was clad in. It made her look real good, but Benjamin knew how much Kialla preferred denim clothes more than this. "Slow down Cheetah, you've gotta breathe." True, she was in a hurry. Benjamin had about six hours before his portkey activated once more, so Kialla had all the time to tell him stories. He obeyed when she told him to sit down on the bench, looking at her funny when she prepared whatever she had to vent to him. "You know what, this better be good or else I'm leaving." Benjamin teased. Honestly though, he wanted something good to hear. Not any kind of humorless story. Whatever thing or whoever person was frustrating Kialla made Benjamin more supportive of her. What, or who did she want to talk about anyway?
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[Kialla Chase]

Kialla nodded slightly and shook her head as she giggled slightly. She wasn't sure about the nickname he had given her, but she would roll with it. She figured it had to do with her insane amount of energy and running to Benny like an idiot. She sighed and nodded as they got themselves out of the hug and Benjamin walked over to the bench. Kialla knew what she wanted to vent about, but she hadn't yet decided how she was going to do it. She couldn't be too obvious, it had to be subtle, but detectable. But she also didn't want to freak him out, he had to come to the realisation slowly, yet she didn't want to be eighty by the time he got there. She breathed a puff of air and started to pace in front of him. Kialla nodded at his comment and nodded her head vigorously. "Yeah, it'll be good. It will. I promise." Well, she hoped it would be good, to be perfectly honest she wasn't too sure at this point. She continued to pace over the stoned ground of the garden, her bare feet making a soft pattering noise as she walked. It was working to ease her mind into a state of calm, so that it wasn't so chaotic. She needed to say something soon, it would be weird if she just stayed quiet. She'd just told Benji that she would be venting, now she had to find something to say. She knew what she wanted to vent about, that wasn't the problem, now she just needed a lead in. But what if he thought she was being an idiot? What if he already knew that she liked him but just pretended that he didn't so that she would not embarrass herself. No that couldn't be right, if he knew then surely Victoria would have said something and she hadn't breathed a word to Kialla at all, so Kialla just had to believe that he was still in the dark about all this.

The wind picked up slightly and her dress started to swirl around her legs. Kialla groaned slightly and frowned. She hated the feel of the wind on her legs, it was one of the reasons she absolutely hated dresses. It just wasn't a natural sort of feeling. Sure, she liked to dress up sometimes, but that was only an occasional thing. If she dressed up too much, too often, then how was she supposed to appreciate the times when it was special. Benjamin knew that she preferred to wear jeans and shirts, but even when she dressed up for him, he never seemed to notice. That was her lead in point right there. "There's this guy," Kialla nearly rolled her eyes at the cliche lead in but she was working on empty here, she didn't really have much to work with. "I mean, there's always a guy, you're my guy, but..." Ugh, why did she suck at this so much. She shook her head and decided that maybe she should start from the beginning. Walking over to sit next to Benjamin, because she worked better when she was sitting down, she turned to look at him and smiled. "There's this guy I like, his name is... we'll call him... um... John Smith, anyway, I started off as just being his friend right, and that was fun and all, and we got along really well, like we became really, really, good friends and then at some point during last year I sort of developed feelings for him. But he doesn't notice me." She told him, feeling as if maybe she was being silly, but she was actually starting to feel better and becoming more confident in what she was saying. "I try and dress up for him, but he never notices, he doesn't even really compliment me and I don't know if its because he just thinks of me like a sister, or he's shy," she looked at him pointedly for a second, before continuing, "or if its because he thinks i'm being an idiot, knows I like him and is just pretending not to notice so I don't make a fool of my self." She was starting to get a little hysterical by the end, sort of like all those stupid teenage girls she'd seen in those stupid movie things the muggle studies professor had shown them in fifth year. It was rather embarrassing. She took a deep breath to calm herself before continuing. "Benny... am I just being an idiot?"
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[Benjamin Chase]

As Benjamin sat, he noticed the naked feet of Kialla tapping on the ground. He looked at her funny briefly, before shaking his head. She was such a liberated girl in a family that imprisoned her. Well, sort of. She was rebellious but it was not too much that she was hanging out with the wrong kind of people. In the tiniest ways, she did her thing differently compared to her family's. Like now, she was not wearing any shoes. Her bare feet was tapping on the dry ground. Kialla did not seem to mind if it was dirtied by any dust particles. Her hair was down, bouncing freely on her slim shoulders. If she wasn't pacing like that, she would have looked wild and carefree. Just the kind of appearance Benjamin loved about her.

Benjamin felt the tug on his lips and he raised a brow. "It's a big story huh," he commented when the silence grew. He waited for her to formulate her thoughts - arrange them by sequence. It appeared she wanted to start from the ultimate beginning of all of this. Benjamin only looked at her with observant green irises, noticing how she groaned when the wind picked up her dress. He quirked a smile, but let it ease as she finally spoke. When the first sentence was released, he understood quickly. It was because of a boy. The male society, of course, was never out of a girl's list of dilemmas. Benjamin knew that very well, since he lived in a home where he was stuck with two females - his mother and a highly selective sister. He grinned at her when she told him openly that he was her guy. Of course, she was his girl too. He always had her back, as did her to him. He was happy he found a friend out of Kialla. During their very first encounter, she had the guts to call him a Mudblood. He was deeply offended then, but as time grew they realized their souls were the best of friends. He did not think of her as something more than that, since that was totally wrong for him. Plus he hated to destroy a friendship with probably the most valuable person unrelated to him. Noticing her uneasiness at the topic, Benjamin wondered what this guy did to her. He must be a bastard, if not an idiot.

Kialla sat down next to him and Benjamin idly wondered if it was an indication that she wanted to take this story telling slowly. His gaze was on her the whole time she was venting about this "friend" of hers. Whilst Kialla shared how they met, the story was distantly familiar to him. It was as if he heard that kind of story a thousand times. Benjamin sat there, registering all her words and frustrations towards this guy. Out of all the male friends of Kia, he couldn't really pinpoint which guy she was talking about. It was difficult to know which one of those guys was it, unless she met him and never introduced the both of them. Once she got hysterical, Benjamin placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. She probably needed it, since girls always had these intense emotions running in them. Benjamin rubbed her back softly, hoping the gesture gave her a little reassurance that he was there to support her. "I think you have every right to be frustrated, don't worry. It's okay." Benjamin smiled at his best friend genuinely, a thing that he never really did often. He was a guy more of smirks and snickers, but in this situation he was in the position to comfort his best girl. He should make her feel that she was worth the world to someone, even though she did not know who that person was yet.

"I think he's being the idiot," Benjamin said, obviously siding with Kialla. Why would he side with the guy who made his best friend feel stupid? He rubbed her shoulders comfortingly. "He's dense as f*ck." Benjamin insulted, still wondering who the guy was. He remembered several times Kialla wore dresses out of nowhere or even a skirt. He wondered, was the guy from Hogwarts? He once remembered her wearing high heels, which wasn't exactly her style because of how uncomfortable it was Were those heels put on for her special guy? "Just wondering, who is he? Is he, er, from Hogwarts?" Benjamin had lots of questions to ask about this guy, but he felt he should ask them little by little. Overwhelming Kialla would not be a great idea, would it?
​

 

[Kialla Chase]

Kialla nodded and just kept talking. She was glad that Benjamin seemed content with just sitting and listening, she needed to vent, she really did. Even if she was talking to her guy, about her guy and he didn't know it, she needed to get it off of her chest and maybe in the process he would figure it out. As she looked him over discreetly whilst talking, she was finally able to appreciate his attire. He had been here often enough to know how to impress her Grandmother, so that was definitely a good tick next to his name. What the tick was for however, she wasn't certain. After her Grandfather's death only a couple of weeks ago, Uncle Richard had taken the place of Head before her recovery. Even though Isla was the official Heir, she was as yet, not old enough to take on the role. So Grandmother said anyway. Even though she was effectively out of commission, she still had the last say on all that happened in this family. Even though Kialla loved her Grandmother, she couldn't stand to live under the same roof as her. When she turned twenty one, she would be allowed to do as she pleased, but until that day, she had to live under her Grandmother's thumb. She missed her parents in time like these. She wished they lived in the manor, but they had their jobs to do. All the family had their jobs today, no sense in disappointing Grandmother after all. Next year, the family would be headed by Isla, maybe then she could start her life. Isla was not as bad as her Grandmother, but she was also less tolerant. She had been trained at birth by their Grandmother after all. Kialla shook her head. It wasn't going to be okay, not whilst he didn't know, but she couldn't just come out an say it, that would be too weird. "I just... I feel like an idiot. Every-time I do something and he doesn't notice, I feel like I could just... bash my brains out against the wall and he still wouldn't notice. I mean, Merlin! What do I have to do?" She hadn't realised just how frustrated she was, but this was just going to show her mood, completely.

Kialla turned her body on the seat and pulled her legs up and crossed them. Even despite the fact she was wearing a dress. Honestly, half the time she just forgot and just sat as if she was wearing jeans. She was most comfortable in jeans, so it just didn't occur to her that she couldn't sit the same way in a dress or a skirt. When the dress hiked up slightly she straightened it a little, before just ignoring it. She was more focused on Benjamin right now, she had no time to think about the positioning of her dress. Kialla was pretty sure that when she got married, she would wear jeans and a top or something and she would get married on a beach, just to piss off her Grandmother further. Isla's wedding had been a very grand affair, colourful and traditional in every sense of the word. The Marriage wizard was old, he has officiated over many of the family's weddings and Isla's was no different. They had the wedding here in this very Garden in fact. A fact that displeased Kialla quite a lot. When Benjamin started insulting the guy Kialla liked, she gave him a look. It was almost sympathetic, but what did she expect, he was being supportive, he didn't know she was talking about him. It made sense he would automatically side with her. In fact she would have been rather perturbed if he hadn't taken her side. "Dense as f*ck." She repeated Benjamin, trying to piece all of this together in her head. It made sense out there, but in her head it was a chaotic mess of knots and cul-de-sacs. Kialla nodded at his next question, now she was spacing, not good. "Yes, from Hogwarts. He's a student." She would have thought that was obvious at least. Where was she going to meet a guy outside school? Her Grandmother had her on a leash here. "I know you have questions. Just ask, you are practically bursting at the seams." She told him, poking him gently in the arm and miming an explosion.
​

 

[Benjamin Chase]

As Kia positioned herself, Benjamin mimicked her after a few seconds to feel more comfortable. Besides, who was there to watch them? The elf a whilst back was out of sight and Benjamin clearly doubted that he was there to spy after them. Kialla's grandmother was probably busy now and thought that keeping an eye on both of them was a waste of her time. Benjamin moved back a little to give his legs a more space. When his eyes met Kialla's, all he saw there was frustration and budding desperation. He did not like that, seeing that Kialla had a respectable reputation and she had almost everything in the world. Why did girls have to be really emotional? Benjamin almost sadly recalled those times wherein he thought girls were girls and not ferocious beings with moods that fluctuated every two seconds. The good thing about Kialla though was that she still valued Benjamin's opinion, even if she was mad, sad or simply blank. When he told her to calm down, she normally listened to him. Even at her worst, Benjamin appreciated that she was a good listener to his pieces of advice. Now was just another one of those days and hell, Benjamin's ears were turned in no direction but towards her. Just her.

He chuckled when Kialla only repeated what he said. Truly, that young man she was sort of liked was dense. If the girl was giving such great efforts, then why did he have his eyes closed until now? That vision of his must be impaired. Kialla was beautiful - she really was and Benjamin was sort of surprised that she even went to wearing dresses just for this guy. Benjamin nodded, quickly making a check of who were the potential guys for Kialla out there to like, himself excluded of course. Their relationship was strictly the best friendship ever. Benjamin bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from looking ever the most curious boy on earth. The whole prospect of Kia liking this guy for God knows how long was intriguing. And he wondered, was that guy even worth her golden time?

"Bursting? Am I, now?" Benjamin smirked at her imitation and for the briefest moment, seriously thought what questions he should ask. There were tons of potential things to inquire to get a hint at what identity this guy had. Although Benjamin did not like wasting time around, he thought that he actually had lots of hours to spare. "Alright, lemme start with; why the hell do you like him?" Benjamin really wanted to know why. It was not because of some type of jealousy - oh good Merlin, that will never happen. But if he was so like-able, why out of all the young men in the whole world did Kialla Smith ever gave him some effort? Was he attractive? Was he seductive? Did he have a nice smile? There must be a lot of things on why she liked him. If so, what was the biggest catch to this guy? Getting to know the type of guys Kialla liked was interesting and, it gave more brilliant ways to tease her more. But of course, Benjamin was here for some serious talk. Enough of those petty stuff first.
​

 

[Kialla Chase]

Kialla had known Benjamin for such a long time, sometimes it even seemed like she had known him forever. Of course it was not true, that had only met about four or five years ago, both had been really young. It had been a complete accident and rather a misunderstanding. She had said a few choice words to him that day, but then, he had also said some not nice things too. Later, they had become penpals and they had gotten over their initial misunderstanding. It all came to a culmination when she transferred into this school in fifth year, two years ago. Since then, Benjamin and Kialla grew closer to the point where she even called him her best friend. Really he was the only person at the school she could even stand to be honest, other then Victoria who was younger then her anyway. She smiled at the thought and suddenly remembered that she was still facing Benjamin and so she turned her head away, hoping it looked more like she had decided that the sky was interesting instead of an attempt to cover up a weird smile that had no place being on her face. This sucked, it was so hard just beating around the bush like this, but she wasn't the kind of person just to up and admit something like this. It was hard to admit even to herself, despite the fact she had been feeling like this since the beginning of sixth year. Kialla sighed and turned her attentions back to Benjamin when he spoke. She nodded at him and grinned. "Oh yeah, definitely. Completely bursting, it's amazing really." She dropped her eyes to the ground however and smiled slightly when he asked her why she liked him. Really there was a million reasons why. He was funny, quiet sometimes but that was nice, sometimes he was a little too opinionated for Kialla's liking, but that was good too, he had to have some flaws right. There was just so much she could say about him.

Kialla looked up then, and her eyes were glazed over slightly as she remembered back through some of their encounters, the time in the hall had been pretty funny. Though it hadn't quite gone as she had expected. That was not long after she had realised her feelings for him. "It's hard to say, he's funny, opinionated, quiet, sometimes he's a little reserved too, kinda aloof, really oblivious, awkward around uncomfortable situations," Kialla's smile grew as she kept thinking about it. Was she being too obvious? Benji was oblivious, but he wasn't stupid. "He's intelligent, impatient, definitely teasing and he's good looking, but he's also a good listener, when he notices me. We can have the most interesting conversations and he won't judge me. But I know he doesn't see me that way... he doesn't notice me enough." She added, her eyes growing sadder as she thought about that realisation. Benjamin was first and foremost her friend and if she destroyed that she would never forgive herself, but it was too late now, she couldn't just suddenly decided not to talk about it, he would wonder why and it would be awkward and weird. Kialla thought back and smiled again, there was one important thing she had forgotten to say. "He has a nice smile and he doesn't treat me like an idiot." He just sometimes acted as if she was the last person he could ever see himself liking and that hurt more then Kialla could have thought possible. She had once said that she would never be this person, boy was she wrong. "Anything else you want to know?"
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[Benjamin Chase]

Benjamin remained observant. She seemed to be gathering a lot of thought in this or, she was only reviewing the many things she adored about this guy. Victoria was a better adviser when it came to the topic of guys and since Benjamin never had a formal crush on someone, his opinion probably didn't matter to most people. Kialla however thought he needed to know all of this. Benjamin appreciated her trust and even if talks like these made him squirm with discomfort, he didn't move an inch away. The young man nodded as if to confirm he was gonna listen to her long list of adjectives about this guy. Frankly, Benjamin didn't know whether to feel bad for Kialla or feel angry at the guy. Perhaps both, since Kialla was doing her best here to make the first move and still, her efforts were ignored and were responded to poorly. Benjamin was amazed though at how she was able to pull out those changes in herself. Determination was the key to build a fantastic relationship with someone and it appeared that Kialla was a doer to make things happen at least for once.

When she started mentioning things about him, Benjamin listened and tried to picture the person that she was mentioning. What he saw was a young man, about his age or slightly older who was sitting among a large group of friends and laughing boisterously. Benjamin disliked the picture but when he heard the word 'aloof,' his thoughts froze. In his lifetime, there were surely more than 10 people who have said that Benjamin's aloof personality sometimes drags him down to meet no one instead of everyone. At first he hated it and treated it as if it were an insult but eventually he learned that being that type of person was something he could not get rid of. Benjamin shifted and leaned a little forward, furrowed eyebrows expressing the strong curiosity he felt. He wanted to roll his eyes at how foolish Kialla looked (because normally, she wasn't like that) and tell her that if she continued that, she would get her heart broken into a million pieces. Some men weren't worth loving but of course, Benjamin did not want to tell her that. He believed that one day she would get the guy of her dreams and run off into happily ever after paradise.

He was silent all the way long she talked about her perfect guy. He seemed pretty decent, considering that he was smart and he somewhat knew how to stand up for himself based on everything Kialla shared about him. Benjamin smiled at her when she finally said that this guy didn't treat her like an idiot. Nobody deserved to be treated like one, unless they proved to other people that their minds couldn't take anymore information greater than having to write down their name. He shook his head, thinking all those things about him were good enough "No, I'm good. You've said more things than what I wanted to know." It was true though that even the most insignificant detail about him was mentioned, like being a good listener. The guy she chose to like was fine in terms of personality but he wasn't stellar.

Now he had no idea what to say. There were thoughts running in his head, some of them too sensitive for him to say since hurting Kia's feelings wasn't an option. He then settled for something a little sugar coated. "He seems... fine." Benjamin shrugged, looking down to evaluate his thoughts. From what he heard Benjamin disliked his flaws despite the fact that humans had flaws. It was absurd and not exactly something Kialla would want to live with, if ever that guy became bolder and more opinionated. "Although, I wouldn't say I like the bold part of his personality and the times where he doesn't exactly pay that much attention to you. I dunno, I guess it just concerns me." Benjamin weakly smiled, noticing her downcast eyes. She didn't deserve that much of a person and Benjamin knew it because he could relate to John Smith's personality. Because John's personality was like Benjamin's, the Slytherin prefect thought that he had a temper when it came to kids as well, especially if it was someone else not of his blood. "It's not that I disapprove of him... I just..." Benjamin knew that Kia wasn't looking for his approval but she only wanted someone to listen to her. On the other hand, he was doing his best not to treat this any kind of light subject. "Be careful with him. You really don't want a guy who doesn't see the deeper things in you." He shrugged at her, surprised at how he spoke of it. Benjamin felt sorry for Kia, so he did his best in bringing her spirits up and telling her that it'll be fine as long as she did pulled the right things.

"Can I be completely honest with you Kia?" Benjamin inhaled deeply, not knowing how to put his thoughts in a deep and constructive sentence. John Smith's personality mirrored his own very well. Benjamin did not notice any differences between him and this guy, but if there were, Kialla didn't mention it or emphasized it during her mini speech regarding him. He did not wait for an answer from the brunette and continued. "This guy of yours... It's like we're twins. Somehow like, John Smith is my other half. Like my ideal guy version of a best friend." Benjamin chuckled at his absurdity, knowing that he sounded weird in both of their ears. Of course the thought of Kialla liking him came across his mind, but it quickly faded. It faded faster than a shooting star in the sky.
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Out of Character:

i just typed and typed so i'm sorry if it's super long & there are some errors

 

[Kialla Chase]

The more Kialla taked, the more she realised that she was no longer sure she wanted Benjamin to know what she was talking about. She had spent months griping over the fact that Benjamin was oblivious and wasn't realising her affections, but as she watched him try to figure it all out and processing all the information she had given him, she realised that she preferred when he was clueless and had no idea about any of it. What would happen if he put all the pieces together right here in front of her and rejected her outright. That would damage their friendship and she liked their relationship the way it was right now, she couldn't handle destroying the comfortable friendship they had. However, what if he accepted her feelings and reciprocated. That was unlikely, but what if it did happen. What would happen then? Merlin forgive her for not ever telling her Grandmother how she felt about all of this. After all, if anyone knew about this, she would never be alone with Benjamin ever again. She would hate that, she liked spending time with her best friend, even if it was at the cost of a more meaningful relationship. After all, being with him in the garden and just talking was just as comforting as many such other surely forbidden things she could be doing right now. Not that she would ever think of doing that, not in this manor and not under the all-knowing watchful eye of her Grandmother. Old Nag was likely to give her pointers. The sudden train of thought made Kialla cringe in digust. She turned away from Benjamin to hide both her disgust at the last thought and the recent revelation and embarrassment that she was sexually attracted to the boy she was sitting next too. Not that she should be overly worried, nothing was ever going to ever happen when she was in this house anyway. Well, manor, not the point though. When Benjamin spoke however, she turned back to him and nodded at his words. Taking a moment to ensure she would not sound strange after divesting herself of those unwanted thoughts, although it was a nice thought, at least the first part was, she would never do such thing, not unless she were married... probably. "I know Benjamin, I am being as cautious as I ought to, being of my name and status. Of course you must never reveal this to another of my family. My Grandmother is as clueless as the day I was born and I rather wish to keep it that way. I would never be allowed back to the school if she were to some how discover this. Grandmother surely would not approve, after all, it is not a match she has approved of. Emotions have little to do with marriage as far as she's concerned, so it would never do." Kialla admitted. She knew that he would hold her in his confidences anyway, but she felt she had to make special mention of it.

A small pop alerted Kialla to the fact that Sita had returned to ask their requests for food. It was about the time Kialla normally had lunch, but she was not feeling in the mood for something specially chosen by her Grandmother right now, so she was going to forgo lunch and head straight to the more unhealthy options of the day. "You know what I like. Bring it to me. Benji?" She turned to her friend to enquire about what might take his fancy before relaying it to the house elf and promptly sending it away. It would be much easier to talk once they had some food in them surely. When he asked if he could speak honestly, Kialla immediately nodded. Of course she would want her best friend to speak his mind. "Of course, Benjamin, I would never want you to be untruthful with me. Please be honest." However, once he spoke, Kialla rather wished she had told him she wanted him to keep his mouth shut. He seemed to have picked up on the attributes, she was about to laugh nervously until she realised that she could get out of this, by being herself. "Oh, Benji... you think you're funny, intelligent and good looking?" She asked, looking at him with a look of mock sadness. She rested her head on his shoulder. "Oh my poor, misguided boy. How can I explain how terribly in denial you truly are?" Was that a good save, that was a good save right? Kialla moved her head off of his shoulder and grinned at him.
​

 

[Benjamin Chase]

Love was such a foreign concept to the young, American pureblood. His experience in that field was limited to a crush or two that he never made a move on simply because their age gap was great or their interests were already in somebody else's heart. He never told anybody with the exception of his sister and Kialla, because both of them knew how to keep a secret at least for his sake. His descriptions of them were vague, not because Benjamin did not want to indulge them in their quirks and other little things that attracted him, but simply for the reason that he was too young to even remember how he truly felt about them. Puppy love was so uncomplicated and shallow and the only thing he knew about that was he enjoyed having someone to distantly admire. Actually allowing his heart to dive so steeply for someone else's was at the moment, an uncomfortable idea he was yet to explore by himself. He knew that out there, there was a person that he was meant to love his entire lifetime even if they had irritating habits. However Life was already settling itself on his shoulders in the form of pressure because soon, his seventh year would arrive and graduation would be nearby too. He had no time to focus on such things but it seemed that his best friend was already in that stage in her life where her attraction to males was fatal legitimate. How did girls deal with these things? Benjamin was astounded that girls always had these suppressed feelings in them and thinking on how he would deal with that himself (if he were a female) would give him wrinkles even before he reached the age of thirty. This attraction Kialla harbored seemed so frantic but exciting at the very same time.

Kialla's grandmother was simply too hard on his best friend. She was too harsh and restricting and Benjamin sometimes also wanted to encourage Kia to rebel even more however her safety was always a priority in Benjamin's mind rather than sheer and selfish fun. His family was not too strict but of course, he had his own boundaries too. The Smiths were just so... suffocating. He did not understand it. Even their concept of marriage that Kialla shared had little to do with emotions seemed quite off. His mother and father married one another for love, but of course they were also quite forced to talk to each other the first time they met for their families truly thought they could introduce each other to different pureblood families. Surprisingly, the two of them fell in love instead. "I'd never tell," swore Benjamin and his eyes expressed his sincerity. "...Whoa okay hold up, are you saying you love him?" His eyes expanded ever so slightly and his mouth was slightly parted in wonder as he stared at the pretty brunette. If he understood correctly, she expressed her feelings towards this guy in a very romantically linked way. "You're in love with him, aren't you? Despite his lack of sensitivity to you?" He asked bluntly and he blinked in disbelief. If she did imply she was in love, then Benjamin must be damned. Who knew Kialla would fall for someone similar to Benjamin? No offense to himself but, Benjamin was a bit disturbed by that.

When an elf arrived, Benjamin recognized it as Sita. The small elf asked them what to eat and Benjamin decided to choose for something healthy. His health was under his constant watch and sometimes several people patronized him for it. He could imagine Kialla doing so but no one was a member of the Chase clan without the trait of vanity. There were several cousins of his who spent excessive hours in the restroom only to enhance their face with different charms and cosmetics. Good for thing for him, the time he consumed for his dark locks alone was only a mere 30 minutes on the clock. He looked at the elf and in a few seconds opened his mouth to say what he wanted. "Water. Side it with a lemon." He watched as the elf bowed down and took a few steps back before Kialla dismissed it. He was not too hungry, but of course the nag of shallow hunger ate in his stomach slowly. In his earlier teen years he purely wolfed any kind of edible thing he saw that was delicious. It was even stronger than his desire to stay fit, but he noticed that the food instead helped him to grow taller and stronger which was a plus. Now he was more controlled but still, he had his times of sin.

Initially he would think Kialla was bound to agree with him, because those traits were very similar to his own's. Even if Benjamin denied some of his negative values, he was still aware of it deep inside. However Kialla decided to counter him instead, which was very realistic of her. What a way to kill the vibe he was getting at. "I'm simply telling the truth! I despise having to brag but, my hair is rather a killer for women. I've been told almost a hundred times. It gets tiring actually." He was probably not the best looking guy out there but he knew he was acceptable to the eyes of society. Trying to get on a cocky level with Kia was a common thing for them and in return he knew she would tease him back again and again. "When you were actually telling me about him, I thought you were talking about me," revealed Benjamin with an honest tone laced with his words as he spoke. Truly, he did think Kialla liked him but it seemed so impossible. It would almost feel like incest if that occurred. "But we all know that could never happen. That would be so off... It's like you're Victoria and you like me. Heh." Benjamin shuddered and looked at Kia, whose head was on his shoulder earlier. Even the way she placed his head on her shoulder felt like a sister-brother thing.
​

 

[Kialla Chase]

The one thing that Kialla craved above anything was love and acceptance. There were many reasons why. She didn't have enough love as a child, her Grandmother was cruel to her, she had trouble accepting people for who they were so she craved acceptance herself. There were any number of times where Kialla honestly felt like she didn't belong in her own family, but then Benjamin Chase came along. They definitely didn't hit it off straight away, they had fought and argued and said a great many things to each other, but they had gotten over it fairly quickly. He had been her pen pal since she was twelve or thirteen and she felt like she just kind of belonged with him, no matter how silly that thought might well be. Kialla's family was a mess. People were getting married everywhere, half were engaged and she almost felt as though she was being left out. Isla would be having a child of her own soon, Meredith was soon to be betrothed as their Grandmother had been interviewing suitors, but there was still nothing for Kialla. She lived in hope that they would skip her, of course she did, she didn't want to marry anyone else, but the fact that the option hadn't even been discussed kind of annoyed her. Even Richard's bastard child was betrothed before herself. There was no frame of reference for how she felt and Kialla honestly believed this was all such a stupid mistake and that maybe she had been switched at birth. After all, she seemed to be the only one who felt guilty over everything that had happened with Abel and the fact that she knew he was going to be kicked out of the family hurt even more, because there was absolutely nothing that Kialla could do about it. Kialla shook her head in annoyance, anger, sorrow and a few other emotions as she thought about her unfortunate situation. It just had to be him, she couldn't have decided to like someone else, someone so damn stupid that she could tell her grandmother and be knocked into her senses. Yelled at, banished, something that would get her out of this misery. The heart of a young girl was the devil and Kialla was sure as hell that he wanted to have her killed, or worse, thrown into a deep depression that she could never get out of. Surely it was enough just for Benjamin to be her friend, right?

Wrong, if Kialla were ever to truly admit her feelings, even to herself, she would not be able to escape the swirling vortex of the accursed friend zone. Her family was just so suffocating. She spent most of her day in her room, only leaving when she was specifically requested at a family meal, which wasn't that often to begin with. Sometimes she would even go for days, never seeing her family, never leaving her room. She would just alternate between reading a potion book, writing to Benjamin and hanging out in the Potions Lab with all of their extensive ingredients. It wasn't even just Kialla that did this, they all did. Except for Isla, all of Kialla's siblings lived in their rooms. Well not all of them, but definitely the ones whom lived in the manor. Heck, even Richard spent a lot of time in his room and he had a wife and kids in there. Though truth be told it was more like a miniature apartment then a bedroom. She had only been in there a couple of times. Kialla had been told numerous times that when she graduated, her room would be made into a miniature apartment too, it would be much easier for them all that way. They could all go about their business and keep out of everyone else's way. Not that Kialla really planned to stay in the manor; she wanted to leave as soon as she could, the fact that she had gotten a tattoo in secret this very week, surely said much to that. Kialla smiled at her best friend when he promised not to reveal her secret only to frown when he continued to talk. Love him? Was that what was happening here? Kialla froze as the revelation hit her. All this time spent pinning away for her best friend. She had wanted him to notice her, sure, maybe wanted to kiss him, but... to actually love him, now that was something she had not expected. She had known that she was feeling some really heavy emotions, but this was something else entirely. Kialla didn't answer Benjamin for a time, even as he told Sita what he wanted, Kialla just could not bring herself to say the words, to actually move her lips and say what she needed to say. It wasn't until Benjamin spoke again, that it all really hit home for her. He thought of her only as his sister. The words cut deep. Even if she had entertained the thought before, that this was really what he thought, having him actually say the words was more then she could handle.

Finally, after minutes of sitting and staring into nothing, Kialla stood up and moved away from Benjamin, so that he would not see the tears that were no doubt arriving. She really wished she could go back in time and pretend this never happened. She would just make up some random lie about what she wanted to say and never have this conversation with him, because she was not feeling any better for it at all. Initially she had been hoping that he could calm her, maybe tell her she was being silly, not reveal that she was madly in love him and he would never return her affections. Kialla moved closer to the gardens edge and looked down on the only Lotus flower in the entire grounds. She had planted it when she was five, with the help of her mother and it had been her source of calm, because right now, even her numbers were failing her. "Ben..." Kialla could not finish her sentence. Even thinking the words terrified her. This kind of love was so final, so direct; Kialla didn't even know what to do next. "I think I am. Yes. Ben... I'm... I'm in love with him." Even saying the words, Kialla realised she had known the truth all along. Maybe she just hadn't wanted to admit it to herself, but things were different now. This was endgame. "Oh Merlin, what the hell have I done?"
​

 

[Benjamin Chase]

This was terribly awkward for Benjamin. It was just that he had never seen Kia this heartbroken and for some reason, her sadness radiated directly towards him. He felt sympathy for the brunette and all he could do was extend a hand to pat her on the shoulder when she stood up after he posed his ultimate question of all. Did she really love him? Was this finally love for Kialla? Love was a deep and unexplored concept but it seemed that his best girl was a thousand steps ahead of him when it came to this.

She had stared into nothingness when he asked her "The Question." It was a massive one, to finally admit it to yourself even if you have tried denying its forceful shove into your heart. Benjamin tried snapping her out of it, literally, and even a loud snap next to her ear proved to be insufficient. Perhaps she was analyzing her feelings and she was trying her best to allow logic take over the reigns but he supposed her heart was tugging onto the majority of her thoughts. Benjamin bit his lip in hesitation to poke her rudely but he had to give her space. She needed it and as a gentleman he supposed she would get it after all. In silence, Benjamin sat there looking at her with a concerned frown that reached even the lines of his forehead. When Kialla just stood up and walked away to gather whatever she had to gather, Benjamin inhaled uncomfortably. "Er, o-okay? Kia? Did I say something wrong?" But he knew his voice was too soft for her to even hear and he was stuck there on the bench, watching her every move. For the years they've known each other, Kialla could still manage to be a mystery to him. Or perhaps, Benjamin was just not allowing himself to explore other ground levels with her. Either way, he did not know whether he should approach her and give her a hug, despite not being a total hugger and then invite her to drink with him like any other guy would do with their male friends. Instead, he let her be and when she finally decided to speak up, Benjamin perked up and his eyes snapped towards the back of her head, anticipating whatever would come.

Was that a broken voice? He heard it but it was not too loud for any eavesdroppers and he stood up from the bench and touched her shoulder to let her know he was there right behind her. So she was admitting it to herself and to him, even if Benjamin had no right to actually push her for an answer. Technically he did not push her anyway; he simply wanted to know and his curiosity caused this admittance. As someone who deeply cared for Kia, he put an arm around her shoulder and hugged her but it was not too tight. It was her decision whether she wanted to hold onto him longer or move away. "Hey, you're fine. There's nothing wrong with that... I think. You don't have to be sad. You're not going end up in a tragic love story. I won't let that happen. Promise," Benjamin vowed with a weak smile as he rested his head on hers. "If I don't, then kick me. But then again, I keep my promises so you wouldn't have to." He rubbed her shoulder warmly. It was a simple gesture, but he hoped it was fine. "I'm no love expert but, it'll be fine. You'll find someone better than him." His suggestion was a typical one yet Benjamin believed it. He did, in all honesty.
​

 

[Kialla Chase]

He was there for her. After everything, he was still there for her. Kialla wasn't sure if that hurt her more or if it made the pain worth it. There were many times throughout her association with Benjamin where she had thought about a possibility of a future with him. They were both Purebloods, their families had business dealings every now and then, Kialla got along with the majority of his family and to be honest, it wouldn't be all that unexpected. Matches weren't always entered into with love on the table. It was all very formal actually. Kialla had seen Isla and her George go through it, so it would be her turn soon enough. She would have liked to have some small say in who she would marry, but that was really out of her hands. Still, marrying Benjamin wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world and she knew they would have a relatively easy life together. Except for one small thing. There was no way that Kialla could enter into a marriage with Benjamin knowing what she did now. Loving him, was not a conscious choice she had made, though she had denied it for so long, now that it was out in the open, regardless of him being aware of it or not, she knew it wouldn't be healthy. She'd end up hating him and they'd turn into one of those boring old couples that hate each other and only stay married for the sake of appearances. Though he was oblivious to a lot, she knew he wouldn't stay oblivious forever and he would eventually figure it out, then she would be royally screwed. She just didn't think she would handle it all that well. Maybe staying away from that possibility was in her best interest. Getting married off to some minor heir to some minor name in some country somewhere was maybe her best option. Pop out a couple of kids and she was set for life. Though the Smith name ran through the female line, that was not so with many others. As she was third in line, she was not a major name and could be comfortably married off with the knowledge that she may never be called upon to lead the family. She'd lose access to her best friend, but maybe that was how it had to be. Whenever her Grandmother deemed it the right time to present her to a suitor, Kialla would do all that was required of her, even if it meant she was never Kialla Smith again.

Kialla hugged herself as she came to her final conclusion. Initially, none of this had been supposed to happen. Benjamin was supposed to comfort her, tell her that she was being irrational, she was too young to understand her own emotions yet. How had it come to this? How had their conversation become about them and he not even realise it? How could Kialla face him now, love him from afar and yet have him believe he was still her best guy and nothing more? The harshness of reality never ceased to remind Kialla that she was just along for the ride. She liked control in her life, wherever she could find it, but yet again, it seemed she would not find it here. Kialla felt Benjamin's proximity even before he touched her arm and pulled her into a hug. At first she simply ignored him, not wanting to think about the differences between what he was surely thinking and what she was thinking. A hug was just a hug for him, but for her it went so much deeper and that knowledge hurt her. It was not the kind of hug she wanted, but it was the one he had given and she supposed that was more then she deserved. Eventually she leaned herself back against him in an effort to make the hug feel more real to her, but her lack of success only darkened her mood. Eventually she dropped her arms and turned to face him, the last remnants of her tears now gone from her face. She'd made her decision and she was going to deal with it in her own way. Benjamin was her only friend, the only one she'd ever allowed into her life, the only person she would ever trust irrevocably, even if she didn't trust hi with the truth, she was trusting him with her heart, even if he didn't know it, it was his. "I know you keep your promises, Ben." She told him, her voice now an even tone. This was one promise she would make sure he was able to keep, even if it was the last thing she ever did. "I'll find someone, I promise." Kialla placed her hand on his arm and leaned up to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. Even if he didn't love her back, she had enough love for the both of them. She never wanted to lose Benjamin and if that meant that she had to conceal everything she was, then that would be exactly what she was going to do.

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Fin​

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