Closed Can't Live on Fairy Tales

Margo Ellis

Absent-minded | Doormat
Messages
250
OOC First Name
Claire
Blood Status
Muggleborn
Relationship Status
Single
Sexual Orientation
Homosexual
Set on the night of the Yule Ball

Margo had only been in the hall for five minutes, and already she needed to leave for air. This was far from the fun, possibly romantic evening she'd spend the last week envisioning. It was a total disaster. She almost wanted to tell Odette not to follow her - not because she didn't appreciate her friend's company, but because she didn't trust herself not to blurt everything out the first moment they were alone together. The night air was warm but refreshing. Not a cloud in the sky. Margo sat down on the nearest bench and closed her eyes, feeling her heartbeat in her chest, and in her ears, and in her fingers, and in every other part of her body. Deep breaths. She had to stay calm. It was the only way not to say something stupid. But how could she stay calm when Odette's mere presence made her more nervous than she'd ever felt in her life?
 
Odette was confused, and a bit sad. The evening that was supposed to be her and Margo having fun at the ball had changed, and she wasn't sure what had caused it. Margo had started to act weird the moment they were going to dance, and while Odette also felt a little weird about dancing, she wasn't sure if they were feeling the same kind of weird. Why had Margo ran away from her? Had it been something she did or said? Maybe she had sensed something that hadn't been welcome, but Odette had actually thought Margo might like her too. With all these things unspoken between them, it was impossible to pinpoint what had actually gone wrong. As Margo had excused herself, Odette had been a little hesitant for a moment. But after wavering for a few seconds, she had decided to follow. If Margo was really not feeling well, she might need someone. Odette spotted her best friend on a bench and paused, taking in the sight of her. Something was clearly troubling her, and Odette felt dread build up in her stomach as she slowly approached. "Margo, if I... did something wrong, you can tell me." She said by way of greeting, stopping in front of her friend on the bench, unsure if she should sit next to her or not. "Or are you not feeling well, do you need to go to the hospital wing?"
 
Margo almost jumped as Odette's voice sliced open the evening air. She hunched over, as if trying to ease a sore stomach. It was awful. Being alone with Odette was exactly what Margo wanted, but simultaneously the thing she dreaded most of all. Horrified, she looked up. Odette was standing even closer than she'd realised. "No, you haven't," Margo said. "And I'm fine. I mean..." Tears suddenly sprung to the Ravenclaw's eyes. This hurt too much. She couldn't keep on like this, pretending not to feel anything when she did. It was far worse than the pain she might have felt if everything went wrong. Wiping her face, Margo spoke into her lap. "No. I'm not okay. I'm really, really, really not okay, and it's awful because if I tell you why then I might ruin our friendship forever and you're the best friend I've ever had, but if I don't tell you then it's just going to get worse and worse and I don't think I can take it any more!" She squeezed her eyes shut, prompting fresh tears to fall. "I don't know what to do."
 
As Margo hunched over, Odette's worries increased. Was she really sick? Had Odette been really arrogant to think she might be the reason for her leaving the great hall? Margo told her she hasn't done anything wrong, which fit with that theory, but then she said she was fine, which was confusing. She certainly didn't look fine. Margo started to speak, to explain, and as Odette listened her heart started to pound. She wasn't saying much, but what she wasn't saying made Odette feel both excited and nervous. Gently, Odette took a seat next to her friend. "Margo, it's okay." She said softly, hating the clear distress her friend was feeling. Gently, she placed her hand on Margo's. It was a daring gesture, but it could still be interpreted as friendly if she was completely wrong about what was making Margo upset. "You can tell me, I promise it won't ruin our friendship. You're the most important person to me, I won't let anything come between us." She tried to catch Margo's eye, even though she was sure she was blushing. "I don't want to lose you again, so no matter what you say, I want you in my life." She had first wanted to say she would always be her friend, but she wasn't sure that would send the right message. The feelings she had as she looked at their hands together definitely weren't friendly ones. If she was truly brave, she would say what she was feeling right now and save Margo the burden of having to put it into words, but she couldn't bring herself to. She hoped Margo was braver than she was, and looked at her silently, willing her to say the words.
 
Margo felt a warmth spread through her hand and up her arm. She opened her eyes, and for a moment just looked at Odette's hand on hers. It looked so right. And it felt right, too - like an extension of herself. She didn't want Odette to let go. Maybe she didn't have to. Maybe they could stay like this, side by side, hand in hand, forever. Or maybe it was all just a stupid fairy tale.

Margo looked up. Through her tear-filled eyes, Odette swam and shimmered. Could Margo have loved her any more if she'd tried? It was hard to imagine a time she hadn't loved Odette, at least a little. From the moment they'd met on the Hogwarts Express Margo had thought she was wonderful. Nothing had changed. As the Slytherin comforted her, she fought to keep herself from trying to read between the lines. Yet something in the way Odette encouraged her to continue made Margo wonder if she already knew. Perhaps she did. Margo had hardly been subtle in the adoring way she looked at her friend. The compliments. The presents. In spite of her best efforts to stuff down her feelings, her subconscious wanted Odette to know how much she cared for her. But if Odette had already figured it out, and she was encouraging Margo to say it... did that mean she wanted it, too?

Margo placed her hand on top of Odette's, sandwiching it between her own. The tears flowed steadily now, making damp spots on her blue dress, though she was smiling. I want you in my life. It was going to be OK. Margo just knew it was going to be OK. She just had to say it. I love you. I love you. Why were such sweet words so scary to say? She realised she was looking at Odette's lips. Was she waiting for her friend to say it, or was she thinking about something else entirely? "Can I kiss you?" she blurted suddenly. She would have just done it, but she couldn't - not without knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that Odette wanted her to.
 
The courtyard was deserted besides the two of them, and Odette was glad for it. She was sure her face was glowing in the dark with how much she was blushing, and she felt her heart beat fast as she looked at her friend in anticipation. The two of them had ben through so much, and a lot of the hardships their friendship had faced had been because of her. She never wanted to lose Margo again, and definitely didn't want to be the cause of any split between them. The idea of their friendship turning romantic was terrifying, as she had seen firsthand what could happen when things went south. But as she sat here with Margo and felt her place her other hand on Odette's, she believed that maybe it would be worth it this time. Maybe this friendship was strong enough to survive whatever happened. It had survived much worse, after all.

Odette looked at Margo, still not entirely sure if she was reading the situation correctly. But then she noticed Margo wasn't looking at her directly, she was looking at her lips. Odette felt a slight shiver go through her, and she knew it had nothing to do with being outside at night. She was sure Margo was thinking about kissing her, and in this moment, she wanted her to. But instead, Margo asked, which somehow managed to startle Odette even though she had been thinking of kissing as well. She blinked, and didn't know what to say for a moment. She wanted kiss Margo, but getting the choice put in front of her so directly was strange. She would have preferred if Margo had just done it, that way she wouldn't have had to think about it so much, and the choice to change things fundamentally would have been Margo's. But Odette's heart was saying yes, and she knew she couldn't let her fears ruin this. Margo had been brave enough to ask the question, and now she had to be brave enough to answer. Odette nodded, then cleared her throat. "Yes." She said, her voice soft enough to nearly be a whisper. She leaned in slightly, trying her best not to think too hard about what could go wrong. She had to focus on what felt right, and the fact that Margo wanted to kiss her definitely felt right.
 
Odette hesitated. Not for long, but long enough for Margo to think she'd gotten it all completely wrong, and that she was about to lose the best friend she'd ever had and all because she couldn't keep her stupid mouth closed. But then Odette nodded. Margo almost wondered if she'd imagined it. Even now she was convincing herself she was only seeing things she wanted to see. Only when Odette answered yes did Margo realise that none of this had ever been in her head at all. It was real. It was happening. Odette wanted Margo to kiss her.

Suddenly the Ravenclaw was afraid of doing it wrong. She'd never kissed anybody before. Not even a boy. The back of her hand, a few times, but that had sucked. What if she sucked? What if Odette hated it? All of this flooded through her mind as she leaned in and pressed her lips against Odette's - and then there was silence. The devil on her shoulder had nothing to say. How could it criticise the most beautiful thing she'd ever felt? Her lips were salty with tears and she didn't know how to kiss and breathe at the same time, but none of that mattered. Kissing Odette was like waking up on Christmas morning. It was like pulling down a piece of sky and tasting the stars. It was like running so fast that your feet never touch the ground simultaneously, and for just a few seconds you feel like you're flying. And then she had to pull away, because she was dizzy, and because she needed to know whether Odette felt it too.
 
Maybe Odette should just have closed the distance and kissed Margo when she asked, instead of answering with yes. But she wasn't quite convinced Margo had meant it, even with all the signs pointing to yes. There was a slight awkward moment after she said yes, when Margo seemed unsure. But then the girl leaned in, and Odette leaned in to meet her. She had kissed two people before Margo, Hayden and Harley. But both circumstances had been different, and both people had known different sides of her. Nobody knew her as well as Margo did, and she trusted the other girl implicitly. Margo's soft lips pressed against her own, and Odette nearly sighed in relief. It felt... right, to be kissing Margo. Comfortable and safe, but also exciting and new. She could taste Margo's tears in the kiss, and that only made her want to kiss them all away forever. She didn't want Margo to ever cry again, and a part of her felt like kissing forever was perhaps a good way to ensure that. But then Margo pulled back, and Odette blinked. Her mind was spinning, and as the world came back into focus, the first thing she saw was Margo's nervous expression, her green eyes darting to and from Odette's expression, clearly waiting for some sort of reaction. Odette swallowed, trying her best to hide her fears for now as she needed to reassure Margo. She reached up to tuck a lock of her hair back. "That... was really wonderful." She said, nearly whispering the words. It was never easy for Odette to talk about what she was feeling, and in this moment she felt especially vulnerable, but it had to be said. She couldn't let Margo think she had done something wrong.
 
Margo finally exhaled, grinning as Odette reached up to touch her hair. It was wonderful. The most wonderful thing she'd ever felt. She had built the moment up in her mind for so many years that she'd been afraid the real thing would be a disappointment, but somehow it had surpassed all of her expectations. She pulled back a little, suddenly nervous. What did this mean for them? Was this the first step towards becoming more than friends? Or would it just make their friendship awkward forever? What if it worked out, but they broke up in a year? Would Odette still want Margo in her life then? All of this flashed through her mind in a split second; and though her smile was genuine, she had to remind herself to wear it. "I've... wanted to do that for a while," Margo admitted. "Like, ages and ages, actually."
 
Worries were trying to crowd their way to the front of Odette's mind, but she pushed them back. This felt too nice and too right to allow herself to think of how wrong it would go just yet. She stared at Margo for a moment, then squeezed her hand slightly. She was surprised to hear the girl had wanted to do this for a while, and even more surprised when she added that it had been a long time. "Really?" Odette asked quietly, searching Margo's face. "I... had no idea. Not until recently, at least. I didn't even think you liked girls." She said quietly. "And you were kind of weird about me and Harley-" Odette stopped herself, then laughed breathlessly for a moment. "Oh." She said, then squeezed Margo's hand again. Her expression turned more serious. "I... I care a lot about you, Margo. And I definitely don't regret doing this. But... if things go wrong, I'm scared about what might happen. The time we didn't talk for so long hurt a lot, and I never want that to happen again." She said earnestly.
 
Margo grinned ruefully as Odette finally realised why she'd had a problem with Harley. Well, one of the reasons, anyway. She looked down at their hands, absent-mindedly tracing circles on the back of Odette's with her thumb. This was where it got serious. The part Margo had been dreading. At least they were both on the same page - both happy the kiss had happened, but both hesitant to take their relationship to the next level. Margo almost didn't care about the risks. Almost. She was still floating around on cloud nine. But losing Odette again would have destroyed her. They had to be careful. "Yeah. That's kind of why I didn't tell you until now," Margo admitted, looking up. "I know it's scary, because I don't want to lose you either - honestly, I've been thinking about it a lot - but... I think I'm in love with you? And I don't think I'm going to stop loving you if we decide to just be friends. I mean, I'd deal with it - I'm so not saying we can't be friends, or anything. But maybe we could just give it a chance? Even if it doesn't work out, it's not going to, like, ruin everything, is it? But at least then we'd know nothing's going to happen between us. Because the not knowing is... kind of killing me more than anything else right now."
 
Odette wished she had been able to keep her mouth shut about these technicalities. That they could have had at least one night without thinking about that part of it. But she knew it had to be said, and she couldn't keep it to herself. The feeling of Margo tracing circles on the back of her hand was a little distracting, but she still made sure to focus on Margo's words. She nodded, listening quietly. Her eyes widened slightly when Margo admitted to being in love with her, and she averted her gaze. It wasn't that she didn't think she could feel the same, she honestly thought she might already, but putting it into words was something she couldn't quite do yet herself. She hoped Margo wouldn't mind that. "So... you want to give it a chance?" She asked softly, glancing back at her friend. "Being... together, I mean?" She was hopeful, as well as nervous. "I think that would be good, as long as we promise we'll be friends even if it doesn't work out." She said softly, biting her lip for a moment. "So... we try the dating thing, see if it works out?" She asked, knowing that wasn't the most romantic way to ask but unable to think of a way to word it differently.
 
Margo almost had her breath held in anticipation. If Odette decided she didn't want to give them a chance, Margo would have been OK with that. She respected her friend's feelings, even if her own would be hurt in the process. She nodded every few seconds, encouraging Odette to go on, to finish what she had to say. But though Margo was excited - though this was what she wanted more than anything in the whole world - she didn't want Odette to make herself uncomfortable for her sake. "Only if you want to," she said, squeezing Odette's hand. "You know - if you don't want to be more than friends, we don't have to be. Obviously it would hurt a bit if we broke up, but we're still friends now, right? Like, after everything we've been through. I think we'd be okay."
 
The fact that they were talking about this so calmly, even moments after their kiss, made Odette feel more at ease. The decision they were making felt like one they had both thought about, and one they could continue to talk about. Odette wasn't good at opening up and letting people into her heart, but Margo was already there. Would it really hurt to have her there in a different way? Odette decided it was worth a shot, and she would have to trust on the strength of their friendship to keep them afloat even if things didn't work out the way she wanted to. "You were there for that kiss, of course I want to." She said, smiling slightly. "I think... we both want this, and if you're brave enough to try it, I am as well." She said softly. "I do think we're strong enough to get through anything, as we've been through a lot already." She ducked her head slightly. "I guess me being awful in the past has really tested our friendship, and now we know what it can take. At least it was good for something" She said, glancing back at Margo. "So... we're doing this, right?"
 
Margo relaxed into a smile, relief spreading through her. A year ago, she would never have thought Odette could sit down and have such a mature conversation. She wouldn't even have expected herself to be able to. It felt nice - almost as if a switch had flicked, and suddenly she felt a little bit more like an adult. She nodded. "Don't," she said, squeezing her friend's hand. "You weren't awful. I know you didn't really mean it." Or maybe she had meant it at the time, but only because she'd been struggling. Margo could forgive her for that. A shiver of excitement ran up her spine. "I... I think so? Oh, my God, it's going to be so weird to call you my girlfriend," she said, grinning uncontrollably. Suddenly she threw her arms around Odette, embracing her in a tight hug. She would never, ever in all her life forget this night. Christmas wishes did sometimes come true, after all.
 
Odette sighed softly as Margo insisted she shouldn't talk about the things she had done in the past. She didn't have the heart to argue about it now, to say that she had meant it. Because while she had, she hadn't really known how else to interact with people. It had left her pretty alone, but Margo had stuck with her throughout it, and she was grateful for that. Odette let out a small, surprised, laugh when Margo called her her 'girlfriend', it did feel a little weird. But mostly good. She hadn't even used that word with Harley, so hearing it from Margo was definitely a little strange, but in a good way. Before she could say anything back, Margo embraced her in a tight hug. Odette wrapped her arms around her as well, holding her close. There was a moment of silence between them as they held each other, and Odette felt a warmth in her chest as she held the other girl. "Weird, but worth it." She said after a moment. "And wonderful." She added softly.
 

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