Can You Stand Me?

K

Killua Freecss

Well-Known Member
Messages
442
OOC First Name
Marga
Wand
Knotted 13 1/2 Inch Rigid Hornbeam Wand with Erumpent Hide Core
Age
1/2020
Kil can't help but be glad that his sister had chosen to enter Hogwarts New Zealand and not any other school, more than that, that their parents had even allowed her too. Killua, being who he is, is thought by his family to be a bad influence on his pure, gentle and innocent little sister, so he was quite surprised that they had allowed Mitch to go to the same school that he does. Well, it wasn't really him that was the bad influence on his sister, it was his whole family. She had adopted their attitude and Kil was sure glad that she only showed it when she is in a bad mood, but he was always an exemption to her bad moods.

The young boy had wandered the castle, even reaching the North Tower. He heard that his sister had met a girl her age and was now friends with the said girl. Kil had already caught a glimpse of them together, of course, without the knowledge of his Hufflepuff sibling. He wondered if she would be able to stand his attitude, or even stand his cold eyes. His eyes had always been the subject of rejection from other people, and every time it happens, he comes to hate how he was brought up. The coldness in his eyes were the proof of his hard upbringing, and he wondered if their would be a chance for him to even soften his gaze. He wondered indeed, if it was a possible thought.
 
Roxan, in short, was happy with herself. She had finally gained quite a good friend. She had usually found this extremely difficult, but now she realised it wasn't that hard. You just had to choose the right person to be friends with. Mitch was nice, and didn't mind that she wasn't much of a talker. They'd met in the grounds, and had discussed quite a few things. Roxan was noticing that when she got good friends, she spoke more then she did. That meant she was coming out of her shell, even if it was just baby steps. better than nothing, right? But now, she was in the North Tower, leaning against the wall with a book in her hand.

Roxan hadn't even noticed that someone had arrived, she was too absorbed in the book. It was one of her favourite fiction books. Turning a page, she looked up briefly and caught sight of somebody. A boy, that looked very slightly familiar. Like, she hadn't seen him, but someone like him. She lowered her book from her face slightly, and blinked a couple of times. She tilted her head to the side slightly, before folding the page of her book. Roxan tried to find his eyes, and she was surprised to see what she did. Why did his eyes seem so cold?
 
Kil's mind wandered off, he remained oblivious to his surroundings. He's mind retraced steps, he remembered memories. Memories of school, they weren't so bad. He met people here and there. But he remembered something worse. He's upbringing. How he was forced to use the knife and gun at an early age. How he was taught to withstand drastic changes and sufferings. How he was taught different things on how to kill people mercilessly. His thoughts were stopped, and thanks the gods they were. An audible sigh escaped his mouth as he was glad that the memories had stopped, but his eyes remained as cold as they were.

Killua's sight began to wander around the tower, until he found a student. Not just any student it was Mitch's friend. It wasn't really the situation he thought of meeting the said girl, but he guessed he had no other choice. He fixed his gaze upon the girl, that's when he realized her eyes were fixed on something as well, he took a look around and found no other living thing present. "Is she looking at me? But why?" he thought to himself. "Is there anything you're interested about?" he asked her directly. His cold eyes fixed upon the female in front of him. She might get scared, but he was almost near not caring. He was used to other people getting scared, and it was not the time to go weak about it.
 
The young Gryffindor didn't say anything to begin with, only looking with her brown eyes. He definitely seemed similar, but she just couldn't put her finger on it. She stayed silent for a short while, before tucking her hair behind her eyes. "...your eyes..." Roxan whispered. "You look.... similar to my friend..." This time, she spoke with a louder voice, above a whisper... Her usual mouse-like voice. She held her book behind her back now, and her back straightened so she wasn't leaning. She now had her theories. Perhaps, he was related to Mitch in some way.

Roxan wasn't a stranger to cold eyes, and that's why she wasn't that scared. She had been teased when she was in junior school, and they had cold eyes too. However, these eyes weren't cold of spite. She was... curious. Feeling a little shy, she dropped her gaze and shuffled her feet, looking down. "Sorry... I didn't mean to..." Sighing, she brought out her book again and ran her fingers along it's spine. She felt awkward, and wanted to get out. She wasn't good with talking, whether it be a whole presentation or a simple conversation. Roxan just wasn't one to talk much...
 
His eyes never left her brown ones. Killua was definitely curious as to what this girl was looking at, more so, what she was thinking. Thank his hearing that they were good enough to hear whispers. His face obviously showed confusion and curiosity. "My eyes?" he asked her. It was quite a curious thing that someone would be looking directly at his eyes when mostly, they would avoid looking at his eyes. "I'd be more surprised if I didn't. Your friend is my sister," he said a very slight chuckle shown in his voice. He appreciated the girl's observing skill that she was able to point out that he was indeed somewhat similar to his younger sister, Mitch. But, of course, he wouldn't blame her if it was hard to believe since the two were almost opposites. Kil was just like the cold, moonless night, while Mitch was just like the brightness of the sun during the day.

In totality, the least that Kil was expecting was an apology. He wondered why she was apologizing, and he didn't no how to react. Nobody ever apologizes to him except for those whose life were at his mercy, and they certainly apologized for things he never knew about. But the female in front of him did nothing wrong for as long as he knew. Deciding not to go deeper on the detail he just shrugged and said, "No big deal," quite a confused face showing which probably made his eyes scarier for other people than just a bit. "You're not scared, are you?" he asked her curiously as she began fidgeting with the book she was holding. He didn't mean to make her scared or uncomfortable, but that's just the way life went for him. He only sighed knowing he had no other option but to avert his gaze to not make the girl any more uncomfortable than she already was.
 
Roxan nodded. that's how she recognised him! He was Micth's brother. Well, she had been right in thinking that the two of them were related. So... what did Mitch say his name was again? When they had been talking about family, they both mentioned Alek and... and... "Your name... is Killua, right?" She asked, hesitantly. She didn't want to embarrass herself by getting the wrong name. She was still slightly confused though. He seemed friendly, but he started off cold. Still, Roxan would probably feel awkward if she found somebody staring at her. Even if that person was friends with her brother and a year younger. Mind you, she didn't like being stared at full stop. Not even by her family.

Roxan let out a small sigh of relief. She didn't want to upset Mitch's family, whether it be aunt, brother or father. "Ok..." However, his question confused her. Why would she be scared of him? Was it... Oh. Oh! He thought that Roxan looking down was of fear. She shook her head. "No... why would I?" She blushed and look down slightly. "Sorry, I'm not v-very good at talking..." But, she hoped he believed her. She had faced colder people in her time. Besides, he seemed friendly enough. Fiddling with the hem of her sleeve of her jumper, Roxan shuffled her feet nervously. Being shy definitely had no advantages....
 
"Yeah. But, she calls me Kil," he informed her. Well, at least she knew his real name and he really didn't mind, but he was more used to being called Kil than Killua. He was not a big fan of formalities after all. It makes things complicated than they already were. "You can call me that too. I mean, if you want to, that is," he said as he averted his gaze to someplace within Northern Tower. He was not used to giving people a choice of what to call him, much more to a female. He isn't even used to talking to females he just met. He wasn't exactly the friendly type at first sight. But there was one thing on his mind. He was an assassin, but he didn't want to be one. And he wanted to experience being a normal wizard if not a normal boy.

"Sorry for staring," he said casually while his gaze was directed to the window near the girl. He was now a bit afraid to look at her, to scare her. The feeling was new to him as he was in the progress of making even just a friend, and he was not about to let the opportunity go. "Just not used to it, that's all," he said as he shrugged his shoulders. At least she was not scared of him cause if she was, Kil might have just left with his shoulders slumped. "Don't apologize. I'm no good with talking either," he firmly told her, but a spark of gentleness shown in his voice as he fixed his gaze out the window to the clear sky, careful not to look at the girl, to not terrify or make her nervous with his cold eyes.
 
The brown-eyed girl blinked at Kil and then nodded. "Kil..." She preferred nicknames to full names too. "...I'm Roxan... but some p-people call me Rox..." She shrugged a little, and put her hands behind her back again. Roxan followed Kil's eyes, curious to what he was looking at. When she couldn't see much else apart from the Tower, she tilted her head to the side in confusion. What was he looking at? Shaking her head to herself, she looked down at the floor, still feeling a little nervous. Why was she so nervous about everything? It made her cheeks turn pink with embarrassment.

She shook her head, eyes trained to the ground still. "It's ok..." Roxan's voice was small, and then she looked up. Why would he not be used to not being scared of? The more she learnt of Kil, the more curious and confused she became. She didn't... understand him, and it was strange. Still, there was nothing she could do at this moment. Roxan nodded. "I think... I'm quite shy..." Blinking at him, she tried to meet his eyes with her own.
 
Kil wasn't sure, but as soon as he heard the girl call his name, there might have been a little spark of happiness in his cold eyes. Nobody ever called by his nickname except for his family, and that was just normal. But now, hearing another person, a female, say it, he experience a new feeling that may have been hidden for a long time. Happiness. "May I call you Rox then?" he asked curiously before looking at the girl once more. His gaze was fixed on her, as he might have been a bit disrespectful by looking somewhere else while holding a conversation with her. "Don't be nervous. I won't hurt you," he told her as gently as he possibly could, which may have sounded a bit weird for someone like him, and would probably make his brothers laugh at him. But at the moment, he didn't care.

Killua couldn't help but be glad that she accepted his apology. He knew the girl was probably confused, as Mitch probably hadn't said anything else yet about there family. He would probably let Mitch tell Rox, but if she didn't, maybe he would tell her someday and could only hope that it will not scare the girl off. "It's okay to be shy," he said as his gaze averted back to the girl, unconsciously meeting her brown eyes. "Just be yourself," he said gently, and possibly a smile or a harmless grin, forming upon his face.
 
"Sure." Roxan answered, giving one sharp nod at the same time. She looked up at him, and bit her bottom lip. She... thought he wouldn't hurt her, and still thought so. Still, the little bit of reassurance did help. "Ok..." She said, intertwining her arms, her grip still tight on her book. "I'll try.. and not be nervous..." Roxan nodded to herself. She would try, and, to be honest, had been trying since the beginning of term.

Roxan frowned slightly. Was it ok? She didn't think so. It prevented her from doing so much, and it was irritating. So, in her view, being shy wasn't ok. It was another roadblock she would have to overcome. "But..." She began, but shut her mouth before she could say anymore. Looking at Kil's eyes, she sighed, and nodded again. "It's hard... being myself..." Which was true, Being herself consisted of being back home playing in the garden with Alek, with people she'd known her whole life. Still.... no harm in trying, right?
 
"It's decided then! I'll call you Rox," he said as a smile grazed his features. Wait. Smile? Did he just smile? Indeed, Killua who hasn't smiled in front of many has indeed smiled. He wondered what was special about the girl named Roxan that made him so carefree. That made him off-guard. That made him soft. That made him happy. Feelings that were only released when he was with his sister was now also being released in front of the girl he calls Rox. "Don't overexert yourself though," he said, a hint of worry in his voice. It was alright to try, but overexerting was a different matter. He experience it a lot of times even with inner emotions, it was just too hard and tiresome.

With the frown that appeared on his companion, he wondered what was wrong. He got a bit confused and he wondered what was it he said wrong. He nevre really understood girls all that well. They were just so confusing at times. With a barely audible sigh, Killua tried to ask her to continue what she was about to say, "But, what?" he asked curiously, his gaze still focused on the brown eyes of the girl in front of him. His eyes showing the intent to whatever the girl might say. "Well, being yourself is always the hardest. But, we have to try even for just a bit," the statement that just came out from his mouth was not fully directed to the girl. Of course, he was also pertaining to himself. He had hidden himself in the dark because he was assassin, but now, he was even just for a bit, free. But now, he didn't know how we was supposed to act. How he should act. But then again, being an assassin was a part of him and a wizard too. But what he wanted to experience was to be just a boy.
 
Roxan gave him a small smile back, before letting her shoulders slump slightly, relaxing. Her back became less straight, and she released a small sigh of relief. She wasn't good with people she didn't know, but she thought she knew Kil a little better now. Shaking her head, she kept her smile. "I won't... I promise." Roxan now held her book to the diaphragm, with her arms folded over the top. She blinked a few times, before looking down at her feet, while her weight shifted from left to right.

Shaking her head, her gaze still at the floor, she swallowed. "Nevermind." It really didn't matter, what she might've said. That's why Roxan didn't say it. It wasn't important. Not anymore. Looking up, the Gryffindor matched his eyes. "Trying..." She whispered, then speaking with a slightly louder voice. "...Kil?" Roxan couldn't help but notice that the way he said that, those words... like they were meant for both of them. She wanted to know why...
 
Kil sure was glad that slowly, Roxan was growing more and more relaxed while he is around. It's not like he wants her to be relaxed all the time, but the girl seemed uncomfortable with him just a few minutes ago. Relaxing suits her better indeed, in comparison to her usual tense self. "Then, all is good, I suppose," he told her as she changed her position, shifting her weight from either directions, as he stood there, watching her.

"You sure? I don't mind listening to whatever it was," Killua asked, growing more and more curious as to what the girl might have to say. Sure, he might be digging into information she didn't want to let him know, but it was part of his nature, something he is so used to doing. And something he might want to change as time passes by. The Slytherin had barely heard her whisper and he clearly didn't understand it, he gazed became fixed upon the floor, wondering what bothered her so. As soon as she said his name though, his head shot up and his gaze once again fixed on the said female. "Yeah?" he asked, curiously waiting for what the girl might have to say.
 
It was definitely easier to talk around Kil now, especially with how... It felt like she knew Kil quite well, enough to relax around him. And that took a while for Roxan. It was just the way she was, and she couldn't really help it. Flexing her wrists, she nodded. "I suppose."

She shook her head. "No... I'm being silly..." Roxan thought it was silly, anyway. Too silly to think about, too silly to talk about. It wasn't important, so she didn't need to say it, right? Tilting her head, she blinked. "Why is it easy to talk to you...?"
 
"Being silly is not so bad too," he said as he fixed his gaze upon her, sensing her worry. Killua wanted to approach her, but he was still afraid. Afraid that she might leave him if he does come any closer than he is now, a little over than five feet away from her sitting figure.

"Me? Easy to talk to? That's surprising," he said with a quite audible chuckle. Kil didn't really perceive himself to be the approachable type and easy-to-talk-to kind of guy. If someone else would classify him, he would probably be put in the look-at-me-and-you're-dead kind of person. Well nevertheless, he didn't really care about these classifications. "Actually, I don't think it's me easy to talk to.... I think you're the one easy to talk to, since if it was another, they would probably have scrambled off already," he said as he rubbed his nape, the way he usually does when he's embarrassed. He wasn't so embarrassed, but maybe just a bit. But the Slytherin would never admit it to anyone, at least, that's what he thinks.
 
Humming, she shrugged. Being silly... Could be bad and it could be good. There was always a time and place for everything. Unfortunately, Roxan couldn't tell which at this moment. Still, she tilted her head at Kil's words. Surprising? She didn't know why it was surprising. It was just an opinion, after all.

Roxan frowned. They would just go? That... Was mean. "Why would they do that?" She asked, a sad, downtrodden look about her. With slumped shoulders, she took a small step towards Kil. "Im... Not easy to talk to. I can barely have a conversation... Usually." Still shuffling about, Roxan looked out the window to the snow and cold. She shivered just looking at it. Facing back at Kil, she gave him a small smile.
 
"They're scared," he answered without much effort. If he wasn't in a bad mood, some of the light-hearted will just leave when he fixes his gaze on them. And those who act tough, try to pick a fight, but it always ends up the same, Kil's feet will barely move an inch before until after the fight, then the ones who tried to pick a fight ran with their tails between their legs. Kil hadn't failed to noticed her come closer to him, and right then and there, he felt a spark of hope that he might not be feared. "Well, at least you're holding up a pretty good conversation with me," he told her calmly, a small smile, barely noticeable grazed his face.

"Are you cold?" he ask worriedly as Killua hadn't failed to notice her shiver. Thinking about his situation now, he was wearing a jacket, although he barely needed it as tolerance to temperature was a part of his training. He removed the jacket and offered it to the girl. "Here... You can have this for now, not that I really need it or anything," he said as he reached out his hand with the jacket for the Roxan to take it. He did this without looking at her as he felt a tinge of embarrassment, and maybe, just maybe, a small hint of redness decorated his face.
 
Roxan frowned. "Why are they scared? I'm not..." Still, she blushed lightly and shrugged. Maybe. She wasn't sure. This was a good conversation? It was just random talking, wasn't it? Mind you, Roxan couldn't really tell. That didn't matter though, right? She looked down at her feet, embarrassed slightly. "Am I?" She asks hesitantly.

Roxan sighed, and nodded slowly. She was a bit. "Only a little..." She answered, hugging her arms more out of embarrassment then coldness. It was winter, after all. With the snow and ice and frost, it wasn't really a surprise. She shook her head, and then took the coat slowly from him. "T-thank-you. But, won't you get cold?"
 
"No idea. And yeah, thanks for not being scared," he said as a little smile grazed his features. It was a first for him. Smiling in front of someone besides Mitch. He only showed his smiling face when he was an innocent kid and whenever he was with Mitch. But now, it was a whole new feeling, and besides, there was no one to restrict what he wants to do. "Yeah, you're doing a pretty good job at it," he said as he tried to assure her of the case. For him, it was true. If Roxan wasn't talking and asking questions, he would probably be silent the whole time.

"Take it then. It'll help," he said as he offered her the jacket once again when she admitted that to him that she was indeed cold. Kil managed to give Rox his jacket, and only smiled when she thanked him. Killua really didn't mind being cold, but he sure wasn't used to being thanked at aside from Mitch. "You're welcome. And don't worry, I'm used to it," he told her as gently as he possibly could. Which would have probably been freaky and he did hope that the girl in front of him wouldn't exactly get freaked out by him.
 
The young Gryffindor shook her head. "It's ok. I wouldn't be scared of you... You're nice..." Looking down at the floor, she just realized the embarrassing things she just said. Roxan began to blush even more, before rubbing her cheeks harshly. She nodded in agreement. "Ok... then..." She wasn't really used to this... Not at all! It was such a change for her, she wasn't really sure of what to do, what to say. Things like that. Roxan was, after all, just improvising.

She nodded as a silent 'thank-you' and put the coat on. It was big on her, hanging just barely on her slim frame. It was a little funny. Roxan rolled up the sleeves so you could see her hands. But, she wasn't sure that Kil wouldn't freeze. "Are you sure?" She asked in a quiet voice.
 
Kil couldn't stand being called nice by Roxan. He didn't deserve to be called nice, not after what he has done before Hogwarts. Sure, it was part of the family business and the law doesn't have enough power to capture any of the Freecss family members, what he had done was still a crime. He decided to tell her the truth, regardless if she would leave her alone or not. "I'm not nice, Rox. I'm not like Mitch. I killed more people than you could imagine I can. I won't blame you if you get scared now," he said with sadness in his eyes. No more coldness, just sadness. He got his hopes up that he now had a friend, but he was losing her just after a few minutes of meeting her. "Are you alright?" he said worriedly, avoiding her eyes. He was scared that she may hate him, fear him, leave him.

Killua watched as the girl in front of him struggled to put on his coat. He smiles as he watched her. Sure, the coat was big on her but he thought that she looked cute on it, with the sleeves covering her hands. He didn't feel cold, not even a bit but he knew that Roxan needed to be reassured of that. "Yeah," he said with a little smile as to not worry the girl.
 
The more Roxan spent time with Kil, the more curious she became about him. But, she definitely had not been expecting this. It completely caught her by surprise. Brown eyes had widened, and she didn't know what to do, or what to say. What could she do? Run away? Roxan refused to so that. That would be betraying Kil in her eyes. No, she had to think of something else. "B-but... I don't..." She couldn't prevent her eyes watering, and she knew there was no chance of stopping them. She began to wipe at her eyes furiously. "I don't... Know..." She began to fiddle with her sleeves again.

Roxan nodded. "Ok, then." She smiled a wider grin and pushed back the sleeves again. Then, she decided to just out her hands in the pockets. She didn't feel as cold anymore, which was good. But... The tense in her back had returned.
 
Killua did not regret telling her the truth. If she wanted to be his friend and if he wanted her to be his friend, then Roxan definitely needed to know the truth. She deserved to know the truth no matter how hard it may be on her. She was only about eleven or ten years old, and it would be hard to take in, but Kil knew that somehow she had to know before making the final decision. Whether she would stay with him or leave him just like everybody else. He couldn't bring himself to look the girl in the eye anymore, afraid that she would run if he did so. He couldn't blame her, even if he caught a glimpse of tears in her eyes. He wanted to wipe away those tears and tell her that he shouldn't be afraid of him. But how could he?

Kil would have almost given anything to see the young girl smile once again, even with a shy one or even just a grin, instead of seeing her in tears. Especially if he was the reason. It was a first for him to feel the way he is now, and he wasn't sure what to do. Sadness filled his once cold eyes, she was the only one who had accepted him first and now he was going to lose her. "I'm sorry," he said as pain filled his voice. "You can run, I won't blame you for it. I'm used to it already," he said as he looked out the window and saw the snow falling. He could only focus his gaze on the scenery outside to try and keep from scaring the girl any more than did.
 
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