But nobody said it would be this hard

[Harriet Turner]

Harri took a deep breath and opened her eyes, of course she knew it had all been a dream but that didn't make it any better. The dream had been too real, to strong and what made it worse was that she knew it was all true, or about to be true if she could pluck up the courage to do it.
She pushed the cover off of her and got out of her bed, she stood staring at herself in the full length mirror, her hair was all over the place, a bit of yesterdays mascara was smudged under her eyes and her pyjama shorts were so short they were practically non exsistance. you need to get a grip Harri.. she thought shaking her head.
She showered and applied her makeup slowly, she was trying to drag out what she was going to do for as long as possible, but she knew if she willed time to go slower it would only go faster. She sighed and pulled out a short floral dress with shorts sleeves, pulled on some black tights and a bright green cardie. Her usual school uniform gone, she pulled out a pair of white plimsolls and found her self redoing her hair and makeup.
Finally when she could do no more she grabbed some parchment, quill and ink and headed to the owlery.
She walked like some condemed taking each step slowly that a bunch of first years looked at her strangely, she smile weakly at them shaking her head. They were so young, so naive.
She arrived at the owlery and lyrics from a song where swirling in her head.
Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh take me back to the start
She began to hum the rest of the song. It seemed to have alot of relevance to her situation.
"WHo am I kidding, I cant do this," she sighed sitting on the window sill, not caring that her new dress would probably end up getting owl poo on it.

 

[Steph Shirley]

Steph woke up, she rubbed her eyes and looked around the dorm, all the beds were empty, the girls must have gone to breakfast. thought Steph. She got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. Sighing she took out her make up remover, she hadnt taken her make up off, again. She wiped her make up and showered. When she had showered, she straightened, and backcombed her hair, into the mess she loved it in, put on black eye liner, her favorite and got changed. She was wearing, navy blue skinnys, and a Paramore tee.

Steph walked out of the common room, but she found her feet taking her up to the owlery. When she got there she walked straight to Wellie, her owl, and stroked her beak. It wasnt until she turned around, she saw Harri. 'Hey,' Steph called, walking over to her.

 

[Harriet Turner]

Harri jumped as she heard Stephs voice, despite the fact that Steph had just walked in right infront of her she had been a million miles away. "Oh hey Steph," she said chewing on her perfectly paited bright green nails.
"How did everything go with James go?" she asked absent mindedly, still chewing on her nails and looking into the distance. She had spent so long on her make up this morning she looked scarily pretty, not like her usual self. Well in her opinon anyway.

 

[Steph Shirley]

Steph batted Harri's hand away from her mouth, 'You'll mess your nails up,' She smiled. 'Oh, y'no, it was pretty.. strange.' Steph told Harri, not wanting to go into much detail.
Steph noticed Harri looked a little distracted, 'Harri? Whats going on?' She asked, a little worried.

 

[Harriet Turner]

"Hey," Harri complained as Steph knocked her hand away but she folded her arms across her chest instead. "strange?" she repeated, shaking her head and trying to seem more with it.
"Erm, you know when I was talking to you the other day?" she said, having to remind herself to blink, "About Kevin," she said, she had to stop there, wait to see if Steph remembered the conversation. Oh it's such a shame for us to part, the words kept going around and around in her head, untill they were making her dizzy, she breathed deeply and decided to stop thinking for a moment.

 

[Steph Shirley]

Steph laughed a little, 'You'll thank me later,' She said, about Harri's nails. 'Just strange.' Steph stated, looking out of the window.
you know when I was talking to you the other day? About Kevin? Steph looked at Harri, was she about to find out what Harri was going to say before the first year interrupted.
'Yeah, i do, why?' Steph asked, sitting down next to her, checking for owl poo first.

 

[Harriet Turner]

"I know," Harri said laughing humourlessly.
"Well," she swallowed. "I-I..." she stopped, taking a deep breath she knew Steph was the only one she could tell. "I don't know how I feel about him anymore," she whispered in a tiny voice, her face full of the vunerability she hid so well. "I don't think I can do the whole long distance relationship anymore," she said, she had attempted to bring her voice back to normal but it had broken halfway through. She fought back the tears, biting her lip now instead of her nails. "I'm a terrible girlfriend aren't I?" she said shaking her head.

((I'm off SKIIIINS , replie tommorow ))

 

[Steph Shirley]

Steph chewed on her lip, 'Maybe you should explain too him how you feel.' She suggested.

'Oh Harri! Dont say that about yourself!' Steph reasured her, putting her arm around Harri.

 

[Harriet Turner]

Harri nodded but then began shaking her head, "But hes been through so much lately," she mumbled, "I don't want to hurt him, but I can't lie to him," she said quietly. "arghh Steph," she sighed, she didn't know what to do know, how could she tell Kevin that she wanted to break up when he had just lost his parents. It wasn't that she didn't love him, because she did. He was the first boy she had ever loved and she knew that wouldn't change, but it just didn't feel like enough anymore. It felt more like he was her bestfriend then her boyfriend.
"It just, feels different, I didn't think it was possible," she said shrugging, "But it is,"

 

[Steph Shirley]

Steph chewed on her bottom lip, she could see Harri didnt want to hurt Kevin, 'Harri, i guess it'll make it worse if you leave it, it'll hurt you, and in the long run it'll hurt Kevin,' Steph wanted to help Harri, but Steph didnt know how.
'How does it feel different? Does he act different with you, or does it just feel strange?' Steph asked, wanting to know everything.

 

[Harriet Turner]

Harri nodded, knowing that Steph was right. She couldn't bare to hurt him anymore then she had to,
"It's not that he treats me different," she said quickly, "It's just, before when we were together it was pefect. But now, now it feels like somethings...missing," she sighed. "I guess spending too much time apart just doesn't work when you haven't spent enough time together in the first place," she said quietly.
"But how do I tell him that? How can I put that in words?" she asked, shaking her head.

 

[Steph Shirley]

Steph sighed, 'When was the last time you spent some time with him?' Steph asked, knowing that long-distance relationships usually didnt work.

'You should write to him,' Steph told Harri, 'Just tell him exactly whats going on in your head, you might not break up, you never know Harri, you have to talk to him about it.'

 

[Harriet Turner]

"A couple of days in the summer," Harri said biting her lip. "But what can I say to him? If I tell him whats going on in my head he'll probably think I'm crazy," she siad laughing though she found nothing about the situation humouress.
"It's like, we've been going out for over a year. And it doesn't feel like we're moving forward. I mean I had to find out...." she stopped, she couldn't blurt out the full story now. "I had to find out about something serious in his life from his cousin," she said biting her lip.

 

[Steph Shirley]

'It was always going to be difficult, what with it being a long distance relationship and all.' Steph said, wondering how Harri could explain this too him.

 

[Harriet Turner]

Harri noddded "I know," she said a little sadly. "I think I need to take my mind off stuff for a bit," she finally said, "Help me?" she asked quietly.