Closed Busy Minds

Eugene Nestor

inner eye assistant; passionate; musician
 
Messages
1,235
Blood Status
Muggleborn
Relationship Status
Seeing Somebody
Sexual Orientation
Renata <3
Wand
Knotted 13" Sturdy Pear Wand with Phoenix Tail Feather Core
Age
09/2041 (19)
Eugene hadn't been enjoying Defence Against the dark Arts, like it was interesting enough when they covered spells and jinxes and that. The previous year with the creatures had been interesting, but these curses, these unforgivable curse. They were not fun. The last of which had been the killing curse and Eugene had known he should avoid it, he would gain nothing from seeing it, he could read about it. But the part of him which dutifully went to lessons had gone and now he felt awful. His hands were lightly shaking, his mind still seeing the flash of green and he was thinking of his mother. She obviously hadn't died by a killing curse, but he didn't often think about her death. Didn't consider the fact that like the tick that had been killed in the class, she had been aware one moment and not the next.

Eugene had been young enough at the time of her death, just about seven years old, he hadn't really known what was going on, and though he always had his mother on his mind, he knew he'd been shielded somewhat from the details of her death. Seeing the spell, how quickly it had happened, remembering the pain of the tick from the previous lesson, Eugene wondered if his mother had suffered, if she'd been in pain, if she'd thought of him at all. He missed his mum a whole lot. She'd been his entire world more or less when she'd been alive, he liked his life a whole lot, he was busy, he had good friends, a band, he played his guitar all the time. He loved living with his cousin, but he would exchange most of it for more time with her. To ask her about her life, about her dreams and passions, just to tell her how much he loved her.

Eugene had come out to the ground, settling himself with his guitar under the tree at the lake front. His fingers were shaking as he clumsly played the guitar. Music was his go to, he needed to be playing, needed to be able to take his mind off it because he was spiralling. There was something in the back of his mind that told him he should be doing something, but he couldn't think of anything specifically and Eugene was always needing to do something. He just let himself focus on the tune he was trying to play and stop letting himself focus too much on the lesson and his mother.
 
Charlie was hurt. Eugene was supposed to be his closest friend, his best friend. But this entire semester alone had been messing with him. The Defense class was so bad he'd skipped three lessons. His dad didn't write as much, and Charlie couldn't help but feel like his parents getting together again was a double edged sword. He wanted it, sure, but maybe his mom was taking up a lot more of his dads attention than he'd been expecting.

And his friends, they'd all been busy, too busy for him. He had never questioned not being part of the band in the dorm- they'd all played when they got here, or at least that's what he'd thought, and who needed a violin in a band anyway? But Charlie felt left out, left behind, forgotten. Eugene had his clubs, and his band, and his grades, and while Charlie did alright with classes he didn't think he was on Eugene's level. He knew his best friend was better than him, or at least, he knew that when he was feeling down.

This was one of those times. He'd gone to Eugene, told him he was feeling lonely and left out and wanted to hang out, and of course Eugene had made plans with him. But after waiting for an hour, and then two, Charlie had to accept the fact that he'd been ghosted. Hurt, he'd started looking for Eugene. Charlie was upset, and clung to being angry so that he didn't break down crying. So when he finally spotted Eugene, perched with his guitar, he couldn't help the wave of devastation that hit him. His eyes burning and still clinging to his anger, Charlie stormed over, stopping several feet away from the other boy.

"What the hell, man?" Charlie shouted, his face red. "I thought we were friends! But no, forget the New Yorker, huh? I'm not good enough to be in any of your stupid clubs or your stupid band or in your stupid life! Why am I only your friend when it's convenient?" He demanded, his hands shaking. Charlie clenched his jaw, determined not to cry, but he was dangerously close. He'd been struggling anyway, feeling alone and rejected, and being ghosted after specifically seeking out help practically broke his heart.
 
Eugene was lost in his own little world, playing his guitar and not concentrating on anything other than the tune he was softly playing. Eugene was completely broken out of this when someone shouted at clearly him from a few feet away. Eugene startled to his feet turning to face his friend whose face was red. Eugene was quick to wipe away the perhaps stray few tears in his eyes and focus on what was being shouted at him. He didn't understand for a moment why Charlie was shouting at him, he took a small step away from him and half raised his hands. It took a beat of silence before Eugene remembered what it was he was supposed to have done after class.

"Oh....," he said with a quiet and surprised tone. "Oh no...," he continued feeling pretty awful, increasingly awful. He'd been upset with class, thinking about his mother and forgotten about his best friend. Charlie had expressed to him that he'd been lonely and they'd then agreed to hang out. Eugene felt terrible, a reminder of the argument he'd had with Van just about a year ago now. He felt his eyes water again and he glanced between them unable to hold Charlie's gaze. "I'm sorry Charlie, I didn't mean to forget, we just..I went to Defence Against the dark arts...and the professor showed us the killing curse...and I just started thinking about my mum and like about how she died...and I forgot....," he explained, wiping at his eyes.

"I'm such a terrible friend Charlie. I'm so sorry," he just felt awful.
 
Charlie wanted to be mad at Eugene, but that was quickly proving to be impossible. He sighed, the anger deflating as his shoulders dropped. He walked forward, reaching out to try and pull Eugene into a hug. "Hey, come here," He murmured, crying himself. "I told you to skip with me," He scolded gently. He knew those classes were a bad idea. "Are you okay?" He asked softly, just trying to check on Eugene now. They were both a mess, but they'd figure it out. They always did.
 
Eugene shook his head, wiping at his eyes, letting himself be pulled into Charlie's hug even though he did not feel like he deserved it in the slightest after being such a poor friend to him. "I couldn't skip....I had to...it's important," he replied and he gave a little shrug and then shook his head. "Not reallyokay..I just...I don't really remember my mum's death. I remember before she started bleeding and going to the hospital and then going home again without her. I think they hid a lot from me, but I dunno, the quickness of the spell..I just..I keep wondering if she suffered...if she knew what was happening...if she thought of me..," he felt selfish for saying it, making his mother's death about him, but it was difficult to not. eugene wanted to sit down "I should've remembered about you though, you're here and you're my best friend, and you said you were feeling lonely, and I don't want you to feel lonely," he was spiralling a little, emotions overflowing from him. He tended to keep his emotions to music but today...he couldn't.
 
Charlie held Eugene close, putting a hand on the back of his head and rubbing the boys back with his other, swaying them gently. "Hey, come on," Charlie tried to reassure him softly. "You know I can't stay mad at you," He tried to joke, though it fell flat on his own ears. "But seriously, Eugene," Charlies arms tightened around him. "You're right. I am here. So talk to me. Tell me whats eating at you, cry it out. You know you're safe with me," He promised softly, shutting his eyes as he stood there with his best friend, just holding him close. Charlie found it easier to focus on Eugene's issues than to worry about his own. He leaned his head against Eugenes', trying to be as comforting as he could be.
 
Eugene let out a little sigh, wiping at his eyes lightly. Charlie was such a good friend and he was such a rubbish friend. He was always letting the people he knew down. First Van and now Charlie. He felt he could solve his friendship with Charlie more so than he could with Van but that didn't make it too much easier. He was still a bad friend. He let out a long sigh. "Why don't I tell you something that's bothering me, and you can tell me something that's going on with you?" he countered. He didn't want to make this all about him, he wanted to still be there for his friend.
 
Charlie smiled and pulled back a bit, swiping at his own eyes. "Alright, sure. Come on," He tried to pull Eugene with him to sit down again. "You first, come on," He encouraged, holding open an arm to try and entice Eugene down. "Do you wanna talk about your mom?" He asked, thinking that was a good spot to start. They could focus on that first, maybe let Eugene cry it out a bit.
 
Eugene was certainly going to try to be a good friend and hold Charlie to it. Make sure he talked about things in between Eugene doing it. He sat down and looked from his friend and then out to the lake. "I just miss her," he said simply, sure the lesson had brought up questions about her death, questions about how she'd felt at the moment, if she'd suffered but really he just missed her. "I turn fifteen in September...she died when I was seven, I'll have lived longer without her than with her...," he sniffed lightly, holding back his tears. "Some days it just...I just miss her so much it's like my heart aches...I wish I could just talk to her again...like one last time, tell her about magic about this place about you and the other boys, about how much I love her," he sighed softly and glanced towards his friend.
 
Charlie listened to Eugene, draping an arm over the boys shoulders and rubbing his thumb against him gently. "You can cry, man, its okay," He encouraged, reaching over to brush Eugene's hair back. "I'm not gunna judge. Just- get it out, yeah?" He smiled gently. "I'll hold you if you want, just... let it all out. This is a safe space."
 
A few stray tears escaped his eyes at Charlie's words. he knew he could. He trusted him so much, and felt safe around him, he knew he could cry, and while tears were coming out of his eyes, he held himself together. "It's okay...I'm okay....," he said with a watery voice, it shook lightly but he just let out a long sigh. he didn't want to break down too much. "Plus I have Accio in a couple of hours, I can't turn up with my eyes red,"
 
Charlie smiled and shook his head. "Fine. But tonight you're going to lay in bed with me, I'll cast a silencing charm for some privacy, and you're crying it out," He told Eugene, reaching up and wiping a tear away with his thumb. "We'll deal with this, we can just wait a bit until you're ready for it." He squeezed his arm gently around Eugene.
 
Eugene wouldn't have wanted to turn up to Accio later with lingering thoughts of his mother, someone whom he would still be thinking of hours after this. He nodded, "I've played you the song I wrong for her," he said with a nod, he would likely play the song again, if only because that was the easiest way for him to deal with his emotions. "What about you?" he knew it was as important for him to hear what was wrong with Charlie as it was for Charlie to hear about his problems.
 
Charlie nodded. "I know, bud," He soothed. He laughed breathlessly as Eugene changed the subject. He smiled softly, shaking his head. "It's dumb," He countered, sighing and looking away. "I... just feel alone a lot lately. I'm not in the dorm band, or important in any clubs or on the Quidditch team. And my dad... I don't know, he's dating my mom and thats good, I want them to be happy and together is nice, it-" He groaned, pulling away a bit and dragging his hand over his face. "It... it doesn't matter, I- I don't-" I don't matter, He added in his head. He shook his head. "It's nothing," He murmured.
 
Eugene didn't think something that would make Charlie upset would be dumb, and he was however surprised by what Charlie said. He hadn't thought that Charlie put much importance into the things like the band or leadership positions or quidditch team. But he knew Charlie was a respected writer, and was talented in music. Violins were just trickier to add to a band. "No, it must be bothering you...so... it's important," he just didn't want Charlie to hold on to things that were clearly bothering him. There wasn't much he could say to the rest, "Do you want to be on the quidditch team?" he decided to ask, there was no reason why charlie couldn't try out for it if he wanted to.
 
Charlie sighed, shutting his eyes and leaning back against the tree. "No, I-" He ran his hand over his face. "I just... I just want to feel like I'm important, I guess." He countered. "My dad didn't even flinch when I went away, and obviously my mom literally gave me away once. I just... feel like I'm expendable. The paper doesn't need me." He sighed, shutting his eyes. "My love life sucks, too. I can't get a date to save my life. Like, sure, it's fine, I'm not dying cuz I'm single, but-" He shook his head. "God, I sound stupid."
 
Eugene frowned a little at it, "Who told you that you aren't important?" Eugene replied, asking him with a frown. He wanted to know why Charlie seemed to think holding positions made someone important. He also didn't think that his father would flinch but couldn't mean he wasn't sad to see him go. He knew his mother had given him away, but Eugene knew that had to be hard, but his grandmother had been offered to take of him and she'd said no. Certainly Eugene didn't know the first thing about dating. He gave a little smile. "I don't think Accio needs me either...like if wasn't in charge someone else would be...they managed without me before and would manage without me now...but...that doesn't mean that the work I contribute doesn't have value. The paper maybe doesn't need you, but it doesn't mean you aren't important to it," It was tricky for Eugene, he knew where Charlie was coming from. "Have I ever told you about my grandmother?" he said. He might not know anything about love, and most of his family were gone, but he could at least give some sympathy to Charlie about his family.
 
Charlie sighed. "No one, exactly, I just... I don't know, I just- don't feel like I matter, I guess..." He sighed. He shifted, leaning his head on Eugene's shoulder. He brought his knees up to his chest, hugging his knees. "You haven't," He murmured, shutting his eyes. "I'm listening." He murmured. He felt comfortable, curled up with Eugene like this. Charlie turned a little bit more into it, drawing comfort from his friends presence.
 
"You matter to me bro," Eugene immediately replied, and he felt it was important to say. To tell him as much because he seemed perhaps others hadn't said it enough. But he gave he just let Charlie lean into him and then gave a half smile as he began listening. "After my mum died I went to live with my mum's parents. My grandmother works a lot, she was barely there, between working and everything else she had. My grandfather, who taught me music looked after me. But he'd been a sick a really long while, couldn't work at all, and he died, just about a year after my mum," he missed his grandfather as much as he missed his mother, but the death had been less unexpected. He took a little breath.

"My grandmother didn't want to look after me, she was busy, had work, had things that took a lot of attention and she didn't have the time to look after me, so she left me with social services was going to let me go into care. She looked me in the eye and said she didn't want me, but it's okay, because it would've been a bad fit, when I'm older and she's no longer working, I'm sure we can fix things." Eugene knew it would've been fine, but it still stung to be rejected like that, and to his face but he knew it was for the best. "My cousin who had just turned 18 barely managed to get approval to be my legal guardian... I didn't want to come to Hogwarts at first, but she told me to go, didn't flinch as she sent me to this school. But she wants me...she stepped in and just because she wanted me to get a good education and it meant being away from her and from home, doesn't mean it wasn't hard for her...," Eugene told Charlie
 
Charlie smiled softly, hiding his face. "Thanks," He muttered. He listened quietly to Eugene talk, nodding along every so often to show he was listening. "Thanks for telling me," He murmured, shutting his eyes. "I'm sorry your life was so messed up." He put his hand over Eugene's. "I'm glad you came though," He offered gently. "You're my best friend, you know that, right? I'll always want you around..."
 
Eugene gave a little frown at his statement, "I'm glad you came too," he said back. There was no sense in lingering on it, Eugene didn't think it was worth thinking about if his life was or wasn't messed up. He just wanted to be there for a friend. "You're my best friend too, and I'll always want you around too," he assured him. "I know I've been a bad friend, I maybe have too many plates spinning, but I promise Charlie I'll be there always, whenever you need me, for whatever you need me," he assured him. He just wanted to be a good friend to him, so show him that he cared about him.
 
Charlie laughed lightly, shaking his head and relaxing against Eugene. "This is weirdly nice," he murmured, sighing. "I know you have a lot to do. And I'm so proud of you." He reassured Eugene. "You're doing great things, you're an amazing person with so much talent and your smile just lights up the room, you know?" He hesitated a second before adding, softly, "I just... miss you," He sighed. "I'm just a normal guy, with a normal life, I have more free time than I know what to do with."
 
Eugene laughed lightly at Charlie's compliments. He thought it was interesting to miss someone who was there, but he knew he'd been busy and distant with all the work he had. "I've had to work for everything I've ever gotten Charlie," he said softly in return. He was glad that someone was proud, but he always knew his talent was bolstered because he worked for things. "Your smile lights up a room too, and you're wicked talented at the violin, especially since you picked it up recently, you're smart too, way smarter than me. You might have more free time, but that just because I'm just incapable of sitting still," Eugene said, he didn't think it was bad to just have free time.
 
Charlie shook his head. "That just means you deserve them even more," He insisted, nudging Eugenes arm with his own. He blushed as Eugene returned the compliment, chuckling and shaking his head. "Thanks man," He offered, before biting his lip. "I guess... sometimes I just worry, you know?" He admitted gently, looking out over the lake. "I worry you'll get swept up in all the things you're doing, and- well, and then I'll get left behind."
 
Eugene shook his head with a little laugh, it wasn't what he'd meant to say in it. But if at least Charlie could see some lightness in it, and didn't think it was purely by luck that Eugene had gotten then. Eugene gave a little noise of listening as Charlie continued, he wasn't sure what Charlie could be worried about and had to admit that he hadn't expected what he got swept up in to be that. ”I'll always bring you with me,” he wouldn't and couldn't forget about his friend enough to not want to bring him with him. They didn't do the exact same things, but he wouldn't ever leave him behind. ”You're my brother Charlie, where I end up, you bet you'll come with,”
 

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