Closed Bits of Advice

[Emilia Manning]

Things had been troubling Emilia for a while now, and she felt like she had to talk to someone who could give her unbiased advice. She was starting to worry that she was being dramatic and unfair about Athena, but that none of her friends wanted to tell her so. She was also feeling a little lonely, a little sad that she still had never dated another boy than Derek when he had clearly moved on. But honestly, Emilia had no clue where to start. The encounter with that strange boy in Brighstone who had flirted with her had rattled her a bit, the different way he had looked at flirting and relationships had been alarming, honestly. He had been so casual about it, calling her beautiful and flattering her while not knowing her at all. Was she naive for wanting true love, something real? She had decided to ask one of the girls in her year who actually had a stead boyfriend, someone who seemed steady and wise. She headed over to where Kira was sitting, and hesitantly took a seat next to her. "Hi... I hope I'm not interrupting?" She asked the Ravenclaw.

 

[Kira Wolf]

Kira was slowly but surely settling into a new routine, and she was content. She sat in the student lounge, reading over a medical textbook Jason had recommended when she heard someone say her name. She glanced up, surprised to see Emilia sitting next to her. "Oh, it's alright." She gave the girl a smile. "Is everything alright?" She asked, remembering that Emilia was one of Sapphire's friends.

 

[Emilia Manning]

Emilia had talked to Kira a few times over the past years, but they had never really gotten too close. So it wasn't a big surprise when the girl assumed something was wrong. She bit her lip for a moment, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I'm alright." She said softly. "Sorry, I just wanted to ask you something. But if you're busy, I could come back later." She told her quietly. Maybe she should have talked to Sapphire or Acacia instead, but she felt like Kira would probably understand best what she was talking about, and wouldn't be entirely biased to be on her side the way Acacia would be.

 

[Kira Wolf]

Kira set her book down, shifting in her seat. "Oh, no, it's quite alright. Any friend of Sapphire's is a friend of mine," She set her hand lightly over Emilia's, giving her an encouraging smile. "What's going on, Em?" She turned her full attention to the blond beside her, eager to help if she could.

 

[Emilia Manning]

Emilia felt even more awkward about this as Kira brought up Sapphire. She had been feeling a little sad about the Slytherin, as she had seen her spending time with Derek too. Kira's response also really cemented that they weren't friends, which Emilia had known but hadn't really focused on when she had gotten the idea to talk to the Ravenclaw about something so personal. But there was no coming back. "Well, I've been feeling... sad, lonely." She said, blushing immediately. "And angry, honestly. My ex boyfriend really hurt my feelings when he broke up with me, and even though its a few years ago now, I never forgave him for how he did it." She told the girl quietly. "My cousin is in our year, and instead of talking to me about the situation she went straight to his side, becoming his friend and comforting him instead of me. Now they are dating... and I just feel bitter and angry about it." She said honestly. "I don't know how to handle the situation, you seem smart... do you have any ideas?"

 

[Kira Wolf]

Kira blinked as Emilia spoke, listening quietly. Well, that wasn't what Kira had expected from her. "Well, first of all, thank you for coming to me for this. It couldn't have been easy," She smiled softly, running her thumb over Emilia's skin. "I understand hating how someone leaves you," She looked away a moment. "My ex-fiancee ended our engagement through a letter. I was devastated." She turned back to Emilia. "But it turns out, his leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me. I loved him, I truly did, but there was something missing in our relationship. I didn't realize that at first, but then I found something- someone, that has made my life so much better."

She brushed her hair behind her ear. "It does sound like it was a messy situation- but the longer you hold onto it, the longer it will control you. I don't think you like feeling the way you do... I think you need to make a decision to forgive them. Not because they didn't wrong you, not because they deserve it, but because you do." She smiled softly. "I know it's probably not what you wanted to hear. Have you spoken to your cousin?" She asked.

 

[Emilia Manning]

Emilia listened as Kira spoke to her, though she felt a little embarrassed blurting it all out like that. What she hadn't known, was that Kira had had a similar experience, though it sounded even worse. But Emilia couldn't help focusing on the part where she said she found someone who had made her life so much better, feeling jealous. "Well, that... is good." She said slowly. "I fear that I won't find that someone." She mumbled. Emilia looked down at her hands, then shook her head. "I can't forgive Derek for crushing my heart in front of someone else, someone who would definitely tell everyone she knew." She told her. "And I can't forgive Athena for not being there for me." She added stubbornly. "They can just... be happy together, I don't need either of them." She told her, shaking her head. "I just want to move on... maybe like you. To have someone like that myself, someone to like me for me." She said a little quietly. Then, she shook her head. "I've talked to her, but she just makes excuses and tells me I have other friends I could rely on, that she didn't think I needed her because I had other things going on in my life than just her." She said bitterly. "We're family, we don't have to talk every day to know we have each other's backs. Or should have each other's backs, at least."

 

[Kira Wolf]

Kira smiled softly. "I think perhaps I worded it wrong. Perhaps 'forgiving' isn't quite the right word... I was thinking more like... decide it doesn't matter. The more you focus on what happened, the longer it will hurt you. You just... need to decide you're better than that. Than them." She tucked her chocolate hair behind her ear. "I can tell that what happened really hurt you- and that's alright. But sometimes the best thing is to choose not to let it hurt you anymore- not to let it matter. It can take some time, of course. I was engaged to a Maxwell, and I was called out twice in the school paper- attacked by one of his cousins. Even after he left me, I received an anonymous rose telling me I was desperate to be with someone else, and another from him- I assume he got one of his family to send it- telling me he loved me and hoped I was happy. Sometimes we have to choose to ignore the things that try to hurt us," She reached out, brushing Em's hair back. "I'm sure that you will find someone, someday. You are a beautiful, sweet, kind girl, and there will be someone that can see that. You'll find them, or they'll find you, and in the meantime you can work to rise from the ashes of your pain like a phoenix, stronger and beautiful, ready to face life." She tried to encourage Emilia.

 

[Emilia Manning]

Emilia listened as Kira explained what she meant, feeling a little better about her advice now. She still felt conflicted, and a little bit like maybe Kira was just a better person than her. She wasn't sure if she could let it go. It seemed impossible not to have this pressing on her every time she saw them together, or every time she was reminded that she was alone. "I don't know if I can choose to not be hurt." She added quietly. "But I can try." Kira's story made her feel a little worse, as Kira seemed past all that and it was a lot worse than what Emilia was going through. She blushed at the compliments the Ravenclaw gave her, not sure if she could believe them all. "My cousin thinks I'm fake." She said, blurting it out. "And she's not... entirely wrong. I was always so shy and nervous, and I was sick of it. So I... reinvented myself, and now I don't know if I'm still playing a role or just myself..." She sighed. "I don't know if I'm a phoenix. More like... a goose pretending to be one." She muttered.

 

[Kira Wolf]

Kira smiled. "Trying is the first step." She reassured Emilia softly. Kira's brows raised at the girls outburst. "You aren't fake." She told Emilia. "You decided to change yourself to be who you wanted to be. You made yourself better. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a better you. Trying to be confident isn't a bad thing, Em," Kira placed her hand over Emilia's. "I'm sorry that they've hurt you the way that they have, and that your cousin would try to bring you down like that. Honestly, most days I feel like I'm pretty pathetic myself. I barely sleep, my grades aren't what I want them to be, and I've always been rather shy and timid myself. But what helped me, was finding someone that believed in me. For me, that was Sapphire, Onyx, and Arcturus. I know Sapphire is a bit... odd, sometimes, and I know she's friends with Derek, but I know that she will also support you. And you can have me, too, if you want." She smiled at Emilia. "I've only recently become friends with Derek, and I don't know what happened between the two of you. But I'm willing to help you believe in yourself, if you want," She offered with a warm smile.

 

[Emilia Manning]

Emilia sighed. "It's what Athena says. She says she prefers the old me." She scowled a bit, shaking her head. "But I'm done being meek and having people trample all over me. I'm sick of it." She said firmly. She was glad Kira said trying to be confident wasn't bad, and she gave the Ravenclaw a small smile. Emilia winced a bit as Kira brought up Sapphire, also bringing up that she was friends with Derek. She wished she could have a friend who didn't also hang out with her ex, but knew she couldn't tell anyone who to be friends with. At least she knew she had Jacob on her side when it came to Derek. Kira revealed she had also befriended Derek, and Emilia couldn't contain a small sigh. He was too popular, and it was frustrating to hear how everyone thought he was awesome. No one knew he could be awful, or they didn't care. "That's okay... I think I'll be fine." She said, shaking her head. "You already helped me."