All around me are familiar faces

[Mike Gray]

The Auror had finished for the weekend. It seemed like he'd spent forever crammed in his office, sorting out case files, signing them off, getting everything in chronological order. But once his clock struck 4:00, he stopped placing the files in the filing cabinet and put them on his desk. He knew he'd have to return to them on Monday, but at that moment in time he didn't care. Alls he wanted to do was to go home, and relax. Perhaps, he might have a few firewhiskeys, or even lie on the couch and listen to some music, but he'd decide when he got to his home. Loosening his tie, he grabbed his overcoat and held it in his hands, not bothering to put it on. He could see it was a nice spring day, and he left his small office, locking it, saying goodbye to anyone still left in the department. One thing that had constantly on his mind was his conversation with Hadan. He'd told her things about his life that he hadn't told anyone, but that wasn't the point. It re-opened the wound that Bella had left when they'd split up. He didn't know if she thought that Mike was 'the one', but Mike never doubted Bella was for him. No matter if they argued, or fought, that they'd be together no matter what. Obviously it wasn't the case, and Mike wasn't good enough for her. However, this shaped Mike's future in a way he never thought of. It added another motive for him to become an Auror. As he thought he was not good enough for Bella, he sought to prove himself wrong, and become the best that he could be. But after successfully becoming an Auror, it seemed the effort hadn't been worth it, nor paid off, as Bella had left, without even a goodbye.

After disapparating into Obsidian Harbour, he went for a walk. He didn't decide to walk for long, just for half an hour or so, take some time out and think. He sat on a bench, and closed his eyes, listening to his breathing for a couple of seconds, before letting his thoughts slide to Isabella. Sometimes, he'd remembered the good times they had together, but the majority of the time, his thoughts just seemed to be negative about Bella, even if there were so many more good memories than bad. He couldn't stop thinking about what if he'd done that differently, or said something else instead of what he said originally, treated her better than he did, spoil her, show her how much she meaned to him. Of course, many people would snigger and disregard their relationship as a little 'school fling', but it wasn't. Mike knew that it wasn't. He knew that it was much more than that, that they were much more than that. That he loved her, and that hopefully she loved him. But, it seemed it was not to be. That Thomas Smith, proved to be much more than the ex- Head Boy, that she desired him over the Gryffindor. That it seemed fit to betray Mike, pull his heart out, stamp on it, and put it back in place and then disappear from Mike's life forever, without a little goodbye.

However, the sad part was that Mike had to move on. Thinking all these, things and having no one to talk to. Okay, so I have Ben, but I wouldn't feel comfortable spilling out my heart to him. Despite our closeness, I don't think I could. he mused. It seemed that it was a vicious little circle, taking turns to blame himself and Isabella. Was he bitter about it? About everything? It certainly seemed so, but it didn't matter, because he'd never get to speak to Bella again, nor set his eyes upon her beautiful face. It tore at him, that this was the reality. But then his thoughts turned to Hadan. A thought was contagious, once it was there it spread, almost impossible to delete from memory, forget it was ever there, ever thought of. Hadan had been kind and caring to him, and she was quite attractive. There seems to be some light at the end of the tunnel, he thought. He would pick up that thought again tomorrow. As of right now, Mike was going to the Leaky Cauldron for a drink, to quench his thirst, to drown his sorrows, to forget.

 

[Isabella Chaos]

Isabella Chaos hadn't been in New Zealand since her brief return to Hogwarts New Zealand just to graduate, and leave again. She had returned to Hogwarts in an attempt to return to normalcy, but her visit hadn't worked. She knew her life would never be normal again, how could one possibly go on living normally after losing a baby? It haunted Isabella every day, even more so that the anniversary of her child's birth, and equally its death, had just passed. The past month had been especially hard for her so her father had made her see a therapist against her will to help her cope. Once the therapist had seen the state Isabella was in at her home in Italy, where she had spent her entire pregnancy hidden and completely shut off from the world in shame of her pregnancy, he'd said that she was required to move out of the house. It also didn't help that Isabella constantly spent so much time in the nursery she had made up adjacent to her room; it was just not healthy for her to be living at her house in Italy anymore.

So Isabella had Apparated to Obsidian Harbor where she was looking for a place to live, far away from Italy and far away from Bulgaria, where she had met the father of her baby. How had her life become like this? Being back in New Zealand brought back so many memories of her school life; it seemed like years ago, though she had only just graduated a few months ago. Back then she had the world at her feet, sure she had made quite a few enemies along the way, but the friendships she had always overpowered those enemies she made. Now though, she was completely alone. Everyone had moved on with their lives, gotten married, had children, been promoted to successful careers. How did Isabella Chaos, who overflowed with ambition, the main reason for her placement in Slytherin house, end up so lost and confused and alone and pathetic?

As the nineteen year old walked down the streets in search of apartments or houses for rent, she couldn't help but wonder where the rest of her former friends flings had ended up. Isabella had dated a few different guys while at school, and although some like Thomas Smith had crossed her mind, the only one she constantly thought of was Mike. For months now she thought of him, torturing herself by wondering 'What if' over and over. What if she had stayed at Hogwarts and never had gone to Durmstrang, what if she had never met Edward, what if she had stayed with Mike... For one thing she knew she wouldn't have been in this situation. But the 'what if's plagued her mind all the time. What if her son hadn't been a stillbirth? What if he had lived, where would Isabella be right now? And would she be with Edward? All these thoughts constantly ran through her head daily, re-opening the wounds all the time, never being able to heal.

Something that really bothered Isabella was that she never had closure with Mike. Without warning she had left him and now, even though it was her fault, even though she had messed up her own life, she felt she owed it to him to apologize. That was never going to happen though, she was sure of it. Even if she was in New Zealand she didn't think she'd run into him at all. He had probably long moved on and was probably even married, just like all the other graduates of her class and before. A sigh escaped the former Slytherin's lips as she continued walking down Obsidian Harbor. She knew the direction she was headed for was towards the Leaky Cauldron, but weighed down with all these thoughts seemed to make her stop in her tracks. There, on a bench nearby, was Mike. She must be imagining it, really. It could not be possible that he was here just as she thought of him. Isabella stood frozen, not knowing what to do as her stomach twisted into knots. It must be an illusion she kept telling herself. But she had to be sure, so she carefully took a few steps forward, her heels announcing her approach right away. "Mike?" she said cautiously, biting her lip anxiously.

 

[Mike Gray]

He'd heard his name. A familiar voice called him. He knew it instantly. Standing up and squinting slightly, he saw her. "Bella?" He said softly. "Isabella?" He repeated again, confused, flabbergasted. She was actually standing there in the same street. He couldn't believe it. It just couldn't be. Just two minutes ago, he was tormenting himself with the fact that he'd never set eyes upon her again, that he would never speak to her again, that she would never re-enter his life. But there she was, still as beautiful and angelic as she had seemed a few years ago. He paced over to her. His bitter thoughts had disappeared. A weird feeling lay heavy on his stomach. He didn't know what to do, nor say. "H-how are you? How have you been? What brings you back here?" he stuttered slightly, taking his hands and putting his hands on hers, grasping them, feeling her warmth, his body tingling, goosebumps on his arms. He looked at her for a moment. She looked different, older (naturally) but still as beautiful as ever. He couldn't believe it. It was strange, bewildering, it was a miracle.His breathing became slightly heavier. He didn't know how to say it. "Isabella, Bella, I.. I just want to forget what happened" He stated softly. "Can we not start again, a fresh start. Pretend what broke us apart did not happen. I don't know how to say this Bella, but when you left, I was empty, destroyed, tormented, by the fact that I would never see you again. It tore at me inside. I kept asking myself what if I treated you better? Said I love you more? Gave you everything and more? And it ate me, saddened that I couldn't, didn't get to even say goodbye. I don't know how you feel about me, but I'm certain about how I feel about you". He stopped, catching his breath. "You know what, actually I don't care if you don't feel the same way about me. At least then I can say I tried, I tried to make it work, any way possible, and that I did everything I could to let you know how I feel. I know if I don't say it now, then it will kill me to think that I got one last chance and never took it with both hands". He stopped, and looked at her again, her eyes, her face, still holding both her hands.

"Isabella Chaos, even after all this time, after everything, I love you, I still love you" he whispered, sealing his passion with a kiss on her lips.

 

[Isabella Chaos]

The moment Mike's name escaped her lips Isabella's heart started pounding a hundred beats a minute. She gasped inaudibly as he confirmed what she had seen, he was actually there, here, in front of her at this very moment. She looked at him, noticing he looked good, as if his life were well put together, the complete opposite of what she was, a wreck. She didn't know what to say to him, so thankfully he took on the task of speaking first, asking how she was. To lie and say 'fine' was a big struggle to Isabella, so she didn't even try. She did manage to choke out an answer to his next question though. "I'm looking for a place to um, live," she answered with a weak smile. Her voice sounded foreign to her ears as she replied, afraid Mike would hear her thundering heart if she didn't say anything at all.

Isabella had, at the most, expected some small talk of how their lives were before they reluctantly went on their way, living their lives without each other, but it was clear Mike was beyond all that. As he took her hands in his Isabella flinched almost. It wasn't that she didn't want Mike to touch her, not at all, in fact she wished she could just hug him right now, it was just that she hadn't felt such a tender feeling like this in such a long time. It felt surreal to have him hold her hands again as if nothing had changed between them. Isabella looked down at their hands for just a moment, long enough to see he didn't wear a wedding band, before looking back up at him.

If Mike holding her hands had shocked her, it was nothing compared to what happened next. She couldn't believe the words that were bursting out of Mike's mouth, as if he had been dying to say these words to her all this time. But the more he confessed his feelings for her, the guiltier Bella felt and the more she felt compelled to pull away from his grasp. When he'd asked to forget what it was that broke them up and start over, Isabella shook her head vigorously, avoiding his gaze. After all this time he was blaming himself, when he had nothing to be blamed for. It was all her fault. But he didn't know, doesn't know, about the mess she'd gotten herself into, how she had ruined any chance she ever had with him, but once he knew he wouldn't want her anymore. Why should he? She was ruined and spoiled, damaged goods.

"Mike," she tried to interrupt him, biting her lip as tears threatened to spill. She tried pulling away but he had a firm grip on her hands. She dared herself to look up into his eyes, those eyes of innocence and naivety, he had no idea how she'd ruined her chances with him. And then he said it. I love you. She couldn't help but gasp in surprise. As if saying it wasn't a proclamation enough, Mike did what Isabella would've never imagined he'd do in this situation ever, and kissed her. If Mike had not been holding on to Bella so tightly she was sure she would've fallen over in surprise, or because she'd gone weak in the knees. The intensity behind the kiss Mike was giving her was something she'd never felt before. For one wild moment Isabella allowed herself to enjoy the kiss, wrapping her arms around Mike where they belonged as she kissed him back with equal fervor.

But the moment was short lived and she soon went crashing back to reality. All too soon she pulled away, forcing him away from her as she shook her head, tears running down her face. "No Mike, no," was all she could say to warn him off. "I can't. We can't," she continued. How she wished she could just say I love you too and go back to the way things used to be. But she couldn't, she was no good for him; he deserved better. "I love you too," she said breathlessly, looking down as she wiped her tears, "but I can't. I'm..no good for you," she confessed.

 

[Mike Gray]

After they kissed, he opened his mouth to speak, noticing the tears falling down her face. He gently wiped them away. Her words echoing around in his head. No, He didn't know what to do or say. How could he? Should he be angry at her? That he spilled his heart, confessed everything, for her just to say no. Should he be calm, and accept the fact, and take solace in the fact that he had tried, and the chance slipped from his hands, not due to him, but due to her? Could he live knowing that he was so close to getting what he wanted? "Please?" his voice croaked, "Please don't say no. It'll work. I'll make it work. I'll try harder.. I'll, I'll.." he stammered, unsure what next to say. What could he say? The hope of any sense of future together was dwindling right before his eyes, and it seemed he couldn't do anything about it.

He took her hands again, feeling them for a moment or two, trying to grab all the thoughts running round his head at that moment in time, and regroup them, to say something coherent, something with substance, something, anything to make her change her mind, to say yes. His eyes, lit up slightly when Bella said that she loved him to. It was something, those tiny 3 words that meant so much, that changed everything relit the fire of hope in Mike's mind. A few sparks was all that was needed to rekindle the fire, something to encourage Mike, give him the energy and reason to fight, to not give up hope, to get what he so badly wanted.

"You're no good for me?" Mike repeated, shocked by this statement, by this error. "Bella" he said, moving closer to her, whilst still holding her hands. "Bella, you're perfect for me. You're the best thing that has happened to me. I've said I'll give you everything and more. Please Bella, can't we just try? Never say you're no good for me, because you are! You're everything I want and more. I love you! I don't know what else I can say. We both love each other. Please, can we? I will give you everything you ever deserve and more. I have a spare room you can have" the Auror added. A moment passed, and he opened his mouth to speak again, to give one last fight.

"Isabella Noelle Chaos, I love you more than anything. I promise to be there for you, for whatever reason, wherever and whenever, to listen to you, to cherish you, to treat you as well as I can, give you all I have, and more. I don't want anyone else Isabella, I don't need anyone else. I want you. I need you. I, I love you Bella" he ended softly.

 

[Isabella Chaos]

Isabella knew that Mike wasn't going to give up so easily, so she had tried gathering her thoughts together to explain to him why she couldn't be with him because of her stupidity, and why he shouldn't want her. But even just the simple act of him holding her hands made her lose train of thought. She looked down at their hands again, enjoying the feeling of her hands in his, but it only made it more painful for her. It was worse when he said he'd try harder, as if he had been the problem in this relationship. It's not you, it's me, Isabella thought to herself, hating that it was such a cliche that fit this situation exactly.

Isabella looked back up at Mike as he began talking again, saying words that were supposed to comfort her and make her happy, but they had the opposite effect on this Slytherin. She shook her head as he said he would give her everything she deserved and more. "But that's just it," she tried interrupting. "I don't deserve you Mike," she said looking up at him; even with heels on he was still taller than her.

As he took a step closer to her she couldn't help but hold her breath. Everything he was saying was making her head spin and she felt as if her own perfume was intoxicating, suffocating her almost. She gripped his hands tighter, afraid she was going to collapse under the weight of guilt and shame as Mike poured out his heart to her. He was such a Gryffindor; Isabella could never gather the courage to put herself out there so vulnerably as he did, it was a trait she admired in him. The weakness she felt only intensified with every word. How was it that Mike was able to pour out these confessions and she couldn't even gather her thoughts long enough to make a coherent sentence.

A second I love you caused a fresh wave of tears. "Can't you see how wrong I am for you?" she wondered out loud. Of course he couldn't, he didn't know what she'd done yet. She had to tell him now before he said anything else that made Isabella crumble under her own guilt and heartbreak. "I don't deserve you," she repeated, a little more firmly this time, so he'd get it through his head. "You deserve to be with someone better, someone who can love you as much as you love them," her voice cracked and she looked down to catch her breath. "You say you only want me but you don't know what I-" she stopped, inhaling sharply before bracing herself for the rest, it was now or never. "Back at Durmstrang I - I met someone else and well, things got a little out of hand too quickly and I um, I was pregnant," she said, starting off somewhat strongly and ending in a whisper. She hadn't even gotten to the hardest part, the part she was constantly haunted by and couldn't get over. "I lost the baby in childbirth but I haven't been able to get over it which is why no one's heard of me all this time," she explained, avoiding his gaze. "Don't you see how I'm not good enough for you, how you should want someone better?" she tried explaining to him. This was why they couldn't be together. He had this perfect image of her, but she had ruined it. Bracing herself for the worst, for Mike to be repulsed by her and pull away, Isabella looked down at their hands and cherished the moment that would be over soon, for as long as she could.

 

[Mike Gray]

He watched as she spoke. Mike loosened his grip on her warm hands when she said she met someone else. A heartbreaking thought ran through his mind. She'd met someone else, he thought. She's met someone else! Mike's world was crashing down in front of him. He couldn't get his mind round it, he'd been living in the past, living in a dream world, that they'd both stay single until they'd meet again. Of course, Mike had dated Andy in his final year, but it was a mutual fling, a little bit of fun, nothing major, nothing on Mike and Bella's relationship. He closed his eyes, sure he'd heard the worst. Then something more serious, another major obstacle was forced into play.

Mike couldn't believe it. He aired how he felt openly with her, hoping for something, anything in return. He hoped to hear something similar in return. He had been told she loved him, which was something for his hope to linger on. Pregnant? Holy sh!t! Mike told himself. Jesus Christ he muttered. It wasn't that being pregnant was a nasty and terrible thing to be. It was just so unexpected, but then the whole situation he found himself in at the current moment was unexpected to say the least. He couldn't imagine Bella as a Mother, not yet anyway. She was young, she still had her youth to live, and couldn't be imagined to be looking after a baby. Mike felt nauseaous. It didn't help that his heart was beating rapidly, that he was nervous and anxious about the fact that this moment would decide the path Mike's life took, whether with Bella or without her. But then she broke the news that the baby had died in childbirth. His blue eyes looked at her again.

"Bella" he said embracing her, putting his mouth to her ear, speaking in a whisper. "That is absolutely terrible news, truly heartbreaking to hear. It was selfish of me to expect you to stay single, after all who'd of thought we'd of crossed paths again in this life? But you mustn't beat yourself up over anything that's ever happened. Bad things happen to the best of people. But I want you to know that I will always be here for you, whether we are together or not. I promise you. I know how weak and fruitless my words must be that attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss that is so overwhelming, but I truly am sorry, for your loss, for everything." Mike said still whispering.

"But everything I've said is true Bella. Every last word, every last syllable is from the bottom of my heart. You are a strong person, a warm, caring and strong person, who didn't deserve that to happen to her in the slightest. I promise that I will try my best to comfort you, to help minimise the grief, the pain you are carrying with you, that you are feeling every waking second". He kissed her cheek. "Isabella, we will get through this. Together"

 

[Isabella Chaos]

This was it, she could feel her losing him, as he loosened his hands on her. It's better this way, she tried reassuring herself. It didn't matter that she loved him too, that she wished she could get carried away in the love they both felt for each other - she had lost him and this was how it was supposed to be. She wasn't supposed to get the guy she really wanted in the end, life didn't work that way. She had messed up and Mike was supposed to move on from her because she didn't deserve him. Isabella fought back the lump in her throat, forcing herself not to cry so she could cherish the little time she had left with Mike before he wrote her off forever.

To her surprise Mike embraced her and she couldn't help but wrap her arms around him in return. This was not how it was supposed to go, but maybe Mike was nice enough to at least part with a final embrace. Then he started comforting her, revealing just how sweet and sincere and kindhearted he was, which only made Bella feel as if she didn't deserve him more. How could he possibly not hate her now? Hadn't she ruined any chances they had to live happily ever after? She couldn't believe what he was saying to her, how he still wanted to be there.

She looked up from her embrace to see if he was really saying these words, as if she was sure she must be imagining this. But to reassure her, he'd made physical proof of his words by kissing her on the cheek. Together, she repeated in her head, foolishly imagining what that would be like. Was it even possible now? Mike was saying it was. Without thinking Isabella leaned up and kissed him passionately, hoping to convey her feelings that way when her words had failed her. She had told herself she couldn't, wouldn't do this to Mike, but she couldn't help it; her arms tightened around him as she continued kissing him.

 

[Mike Gray]

The kissing had made all of it worth it Mike told himself. The waiting, the sadness, the anger, everything. Mike would go through it again just to kiss her again. The intensity of it had made everything disappear, all feelings, all the events that had happened, and it felt as though time itself had stopped just for that moment for them. Does this mean that everything between us is okay? That we're together? Mike asked himself unsure, but not wanting to stop and ask. He kissed her again. He'd been waiting for this moment for a long time, and it was worth it. A feeling of euphoria struck Mike, knowing now that it was over. It was all over. That he got his wish, his not so secret desire to see her again, even if it was only for a second. But he got more, much more than that, and there was no words that even came close to describing what Mike was feeling at that moment in time.

He stopped kissing her, a smile on his face. He stared down at her, and kissed her on the forehead. "So, Isabella" Mike said. Honestly, he had no idea what to say, so he kissed her again instead. He couldn't help himself,he couldn't control it. But who could blame him? He'd waited for this moment, for so long, no matter whether the odds were against him, whether hope seemed slim. It may of seemed at times, he'd forgotten, or that he'd given up on her and hope, but deep down he would never forget her and would never give up hope.

"About that room at my place.. let's go together? We'll talk more then, get everything discussed, and to help reduce the angst, the pain and suffering you've been feeling. I promised that I'd listen to you and help to make you better, and I intend to deliver on that promise" Mike said with a little wink of his left eye. He kissed her again on the cheek, taking her hand, walking a few steps ahead. Grinning, he said "Shall we go Isabella Noelle Chaos?"

 

[Isabella Chaos]

This was a dream. It had to be. Isabella couldn't imagine in her wildest dreams that this would happen, so soon, so easily, so perfect. But as Mike continued to kiss her Isabella gave in and allowed herself to finally enjoy the moment and go along with what was surely a dream. There could be no explanation for this. She would deal with reality later; she had already experienced the greatest pain there was, of a mother losing a child, so she felt as if nothing else could hurt her anymore. Right now she was going to lose herself in this bliss, being reunited with Mike. She knew it must've seemed rushed and wreckless to just jump right back into this eyes closed, but it somehow felt right with Mike, as if time had stood still for them and was waiting for them to meet again to continue their love affair.

Isabella looked up at Mike as he spoke again. Oh yeah, she needed a new home, away from Italy. Even as Mike said the words it was still so unbelievable to her how supportive he was, all she could do was smile up at him. Part of her was scared to enter Mike's home, as if doing so would make him re-evaluate how his life was now before he'd met her on this street and then decide he was better off without her. She couldn't help feeling pessimistic about all this, her life had all fallen apart, she didn't expect much to go her way anymore.

But Mike quickly erased her fears, prompting her to go with him by her full name. Isabella couldn't help but giggle slightly at his use of it, and was surprised because she hadn't laughed in what felt like forever. Realizing she hadn't spoken yet she said, "Lead the way Michael," as she took his hand in hers and laced their fingers. Right now Isabella needed this, guidance and support, and there was no one more perfect for her than Mike Goulding.