Closed Afraid of Us

[Vader Hume]

Vader knew to make most of his worries fade he needed to speak to Goku, he had left in such a rush last time, so thrown by what had happened and the other boy deserved a bit of a explanation and really Vader hoped to apologise for his actions. He knew he should’ve asked first or at least not run away immediately after it. Vader was looking for him, though perhaps not too closely. He had begun sleeping better the worse of it seemed to be over, but he wasn’t really back to his normal level of sleep. Instead it was an odd mid point. He was sleeping but not nearly enough and he knew that the fact he wasn’t really able to express himself and kept bottling things up was making it worse. He checked the abandoned classroom last of all, it was around the time they usually trained so he figured if he was anywhere he might be there. But, he had waited until the last moment to check this room. He knocked a little before just walking in, thinking he was being dumb for knocking. He spotted Goku immediately, and with a nervous expression and a nervous clear of his throat he said, ”Hey,” his hands were shaking lightly but he knew he had to do this. ​

 

[Jigoku Arai]

Jigoku Arai forced himself to forget about the yellow rose, and the kiss, for the most part. The OWLs were what he needed to focus on but the little thing in the back of his head was nagging him. Why? Which was the truth? The friendship, or the kiss? It was frustrating, for sure, but Goku was patient, and he did not dwell on emotions because of it. He just wanted to focus on the OWLs and making sure he was a black belt before he graduated. Years, Goku worked hard on it, with a master during his time off and without. Goku was glad that he had his free standing punching bag to help with his kicks and punches. Goku heard a knock on the door, but mostly ignored it, that is, until the door opened and he heard someone say Hey to him. Goku stopped practicing and picked up on how nervous Vader was. Rather, is. "What's up?" Goku asked breathlessly. After all, he had been in here for over an hour. As nervous as Vader looked, was how confused Goku felt deep within.​

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader met Goku’s gaze and gave a half apologetic expression, it was there within the worry and the stress that had his whole body trembling lightly. He was playing distractedly with his hands, and knew that he definitely should’ve waited till he’d had more sleep, but he needed to do this. He needed to explain himself to Goku, apologise for what he had done and try to repair what he’d ruined. ”I’m sorry,” he blurted out, taking a small step towards Goku, it hadn’t been how he’d wanted to start but it was what had come out. His cheeks flushed and he dropped his gaze. ”About before, the kiss and then running away,” he told him, speaking quietly, visibly hesitating as he said the word kiss. ”I really like you, like you like you,” the words tumbled out quickly, ”And I just kissed you because I wanted to, but I shouldn’t have. I should’ve asked first, I should’ve thought about how you probably wouldn’t want to kiss me,” he said speaking quickly, still fiddling with his hands and mostly avoiding holding Goku’s gaze for too long, ”And then I made it worse by freaking out because suddenly all those taunts from when I was younger were all I could hear. I’m sorry Goku, I really am,”​

 

[Jigoku Arai]

Goku sighed silently, as he waited to see what Vader was going to say. Was he here to train a little bit? He did notice that Vader seemed nervous, with the hands being restless. It was a tell-tell sign. Vader then apologized. This was a little shocking. Goku's chill face turned into one of shock. Especially over what it was pertaining to. The kiss, and the running away. Goku took a couple of steps forward so that he could hear Vader a bit clearer, and his shocked face softened when he heard that Vader liked him, liked him. So, Goku's feelings were not unrequited. But he kept on, which if it ended at that, it would have been more romantic that way, but Goku was not going to mention that. Asking first was cute, of course. Vader wouldn't hold Goku's gaze for long, but the Slytherin respected that. He must not have been comfortable with his sexuality yet. And, his past came to haunt him. The Slytherin knew all about that, though in different ways. "Vader..." Goku started, as he reached for one of Vader's hand, to give it a squeeze. "I sent you that pink rose because I like you, romantically. Running away did make me really confused, but I am glad that you came back to explain why. If anyone understands the nightmares of the past, it is my brother and myself." Goku's lips curled into a small smile. "By the way, I've wanted to kiss you for about a year now," Goku chuckled softly. "So, if you asked, I would have said yes."​

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader felt his heart hammer in his chest, thinking that at worse Goku would outright reject him and at best he’d accept the apology and move on. He was therefore a little surprised when he reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. Vader stared at his hand for a moment, wanting to take it back but letting himself almost relax into it. It was certainly nicer than it had ever been with Isabelle and Pho. He found himself looking up at Goku and as the boy spoke, holding his gaze a little better. Unable to stop the odd glances back to their hands, but his cheeks redden nervously as Goku told him the rose had been from him, that he understood somewhat about Vader’s hang ups. Mostly the thing that made him blush the most was Goku’s admission that he’d wanted to kiss him for the better part of a year. ”Really?” he asked, clearly a bit surprised and wondered why someone would want to kiss him for a year, he was so nothing...especially when he’d been so in the closet. ”We’d need to take it slow, I….haven’t told...everyone about me yet,” he spoke slowly, wanting to see where this went but wanting to be open that he was likely just at a different step that Goku. His voice had trailed off at the end, his gaze down towards their hands. ”Can I kiss you?” he looked back up, a shy little smile sitting on his lips, eager and nervous but he liked Goku and truly for the longest period of time all he had wanted was to kiss him properly and this time, he would do it properly.​

 

[Jigoku Arai]

Goku could respect how he wanted to take things slow, since he had not told everyone yet. Goku nodded, knowing that people probably did not know about him either, but then again, he did not speak to a lot of people anyway. "You need not worry. Martial arts taught me to be patient." The last thing that Goku was, would be a talker. The Slytherin chuckled when he asked if he could kiss him. Goku smiled, while rubbing his thumb over Vader's hands, not wanting to let go at all. The Slytherin smiled down at the Gryffindor and teased halfheartedly, "As long as you don't run away, okay?" Goku figured that Vader wouldn't, seeing as they could slowly become a thing. Hopefully. Goku wants to be with Vader, but he did not want to pressure Vader at the same time. He was under enough pressure too. Prefect, Accio, and staying hidden in the closet. It was stressful. Goku bent down and met his lips with Vader's kissing him gently, softly. This was the proper way to kiss someone he liked, a lot. And this time, the Slytherin could savor it.​

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader nodded as Goku assured him that he wouldn’t need to worry, that he would be patient. Vader almost found himself joking that he would worry regardless because it was all he did. But instead he just let himself hear the words and really take them on board. He smiled a little as his question seemed to please Goku, he knew he’d always want to be able to make him laugh, and he smiled a little shyly at the teasing, but he knew there was no ill-meaning behind Goku’s words. Vader just nodded, ”I won’t,” he promised. He very lightly gave the other boy’s hand a quick squeeze. He had to admit the feeling of Goku running his thumb over his hand was not something he expected to like so much, but he didn’t want to let go. Vader looked up slightly, as Goku bent down and leaned into the kiss with Goku. It was better than the first time and he didn’t get overwhelmed with a sense of panic over it either. It was soft and gentle. Everything Vader needed. He did eventually pull away, but kept his face close to Goku’s. His gaze found his and a small smile was on his lips. He knew he needed to take it slow, but looking at Goku it was hard to just not ask him out there and then, hard to not kiss him again. ”What now?” he asked with a little smile. ​