Closed A Step In The Right Direction

[Sophie Elliston]

Sophie didn't want to be at Hogwarts anymore and she felt like she was at her breaking point, but she wouldn't dare admit that to her mother or anyone that cared about her. She stopped seeing Verity as frequently because she had convinced her that she was okay, but really it was because she didn't want to worry her. Sophie thought she could figure it all out on her own if she was just left to her own devices, but with the start of year feast and seeing very unfamiliar faces around her, she didn't know if that was possible. She would never be able to be left alone with the growing amount of people at Hogwarts every year. She needed someone to confide in, but someone that didn't care about her and didn't know anything about her, and without her mother knowing.

Sophie felt her heart beat against her chest as she walked into the library to locate the counsellor's office. She had managed to slip away from everyone without them noticing, and just hoped that the counsellor would be there as she didn't know any other time she could slip away so secretly. She walked up to the door at the back of the library and looked down at the ground as she knocked firmly on the door, just hoping that she wasn't making a mistake by doing this.

 

[Maria Madison]

The beginning of the year came with a lot of new paperwork and research, and Maria had to set aside a few hours every day between appointments to go through the files of any new clients, and research conditions she didn't have experience counselling. It took up a lot of time, but she welcomed the work, burying herself in books about the grief process. She was deep in her reading when she heard a knock on the door, looking up in surprise. Maria didn't have any appointments for the rest of the day, but walk-ins were all too common working in a school, so she quickly set the book aside and headed to the door, plastering on her well practiced reassuring smile as she opened it. "Hi there, I'm Maria, the school counsellor. Did you want to come in?" She asked gently, opening the door wider for the girl to enter her office. Maria didn't much like talking in the doorway, preferring to give students the option of privacy as quickly as possible.

 

[Sophie Elliston]

Sophie stood back a little as the lady opened the door. She introduced herself as Maria and stated the obvious. She didn't know why she had to introduce herself like that. "Um, yes." Sophie said simply in response to her question. The Ravenclaw tentatively stepped inside, keeping her eyes to the floor as she did so. She stayed silent for a moment, simply standing there, before realising that she must say something if she wanted some help. After all, Maria most likely couldn't read her mind. "I just- um. I... need to uhhh... talk?" Sophie stammered, not really sure how she should go about this. Seeing Verity had been easier as Verity already knew what was on her mind and Sophie didn't need to explain herself. She just hoped Maria knew what she was doing as Sophie really didn't know how to explain everything to her.

 

[Maria Madison]

Maria closed the door behind the girl, giving her space to talk. She nodded sympathetically when the girl said she wanted to talk, gesturing to an empty seat. "That's what I'm here for." She said gently, crossing to her desk quickly. "Would you like a cup of tea?" She asked, quickly clearing aside some papers to find her notepad and enchanted quill, setting them up to take notes for her so she could focus on the conversation. "Before we start, I need to explain quickly how this works. You can talk to me about anything at all, and it'll stay entirely confidential between the two of us. There are only two exceptions; if I feel like you're in serious immediate danger of hurting yourself or someone else, I'm legally obligated to inform your Head of House, so we can make sure you get the help you need to keep everyone safe. Beyond that, everything you say to me will stay entirely between us, so you can speak as freely as you like." She gave a gentle smile, crossing her ankles as she continued. "Now that that's out of the way, what's your name, and what's brought you here today?"

 

[Sophie Elliston]

The lady had a friendly voice, and Sophie was glad, as it definitely made her feel a little bit more comfortable in coming to her office. The Ravenclaw shook her head as Maria offered her some tea, taking a seat across from her. She listened as she went over how it works and nodded along with her. She was happy that what she said in the office wouldn't be spread around. She wanted no one to know she was there or that she even knew the counsellor as it would prevent a lot of unwanted questions. "My name is Sophie." she said simply in response to Maria's question. "I-I don't really know why I'm here. I just- I can't talk to Verity as much now because I lied to my mum." Sophie knew that Maria probably didn't know who Verity was and so quickly clarified. "Verity is my Psychologist."

 

[Maria Madison]

Maria nodded when the girl introduced herself as Sophie, listening carefully as she explained her situation. "I see." She said gently, making sure to remember everything Sophie had told her so far. "I see." She said gently. "Do you feel comfortable telling me what you've been seeing Verity about, or what happened with your mum?" She asked softly, meeting Sophie's eyes. It was clear immediately that there was a complicated situation here, one that was going to take some time to unravel.

 

[Sophie Elliston]

Sophie shifted in her seat a little as the lady kept saying 'I see'. She wanted to tell her that she didn't see it at all, but she wasn't sure how exactly to explain. Her next question was a little bit hard, but Sophie tried to answer it the best she could. "I just told my mum I was feeling better and I didn't know she would then make me see Verity less." Sophie told her with a shrug. She didn't know how to tell Maria why she had been seeing Verity. She had never said it out loud before. It was so much easier with Verity because she already knew everything, and so Sophie didn't tell her what had happened simply because she didn't know how.

 

[Maria Madison]

Maria nodded sympathetically when Sophie explained the situation, though it was still difficult to make any judgements with such limited information. "That makes sense." She said softly. "Discontinuing therapy when you weren't ready to is bound to be jarring." She paused a moment, thinking. "Can I ask what kind of things you talked about with Verity?" She asked, phrasing the question carefully.

 

[Sophie Elliston]

Sophie was a little bit relieved that the lady was starting to understand. It was definitely hard for Sophie to hear that she would be seeing Verity less, especially since she was only just starting to open up to her. But the Ravenclaw didn't want her mother to worry about her anymore and so just hoped she would never find out about this. Maria's next question made Sophie shift a little in her seat. She began absentmindedly picking the skin around her nails. "My dad." she said, her eyes wandering around the room as she tried to find something to calm her. With a shaky breath, she continued. "How I can... forget about him but not forget about him at the same time, since he's... gone." Sophie swallowed, feeling as though the last word was a stab to her heart. He really was gone. He hadn't come back yet and he never would.

 

[Maria Madison]

Maria nodded sympathetically as Sophie finally reached the core of what this was all about. Maria could hear the soft scratch of her quill taking notes as she considered her next words. "You shouldn't have to forget about him." She said softly, gently sliding a box of tissues across her coffee table for Sophie. "Even when the people we love leave us, the imprint they left on our lives remains. The relationship you had with him helped to form the person you are, and he'll always be with you in that way. The secret of living with grief isn't to forget, it's to learn to honour and love the parts of that person you have with you, while still moving forward in your own life." She shifted, studying Sophie's face as she spoke. "Could you tell me a little bit about your dad? What was your relationship with him like?"

 

[Sophie Elliston]

Sophie was used to all of the writing down that happened, and so the scratch of the quill almost as soon as Sophie spoke did not phase her. The girl listened as the counsellor spoke, telling her most of what she already knew. She hated the thought of her father being there but not actually being there in person. She wasn't able to hug him. She wasn't able to hold his hand. He was gone, and it was unfair. She stared at the tissues in front of her as she was asked another question. Sophie and her father did so many things together that she wasn't really sure of where to start. However, she knew what she missed the most, and so made sure to say that. "We played football together. He taught me how to play because my older siblings were never interested." Sophie wasn't sure if Maria cared, and she wasn't even sure why she had asked so much about her father. It always saddened her that she would never be able to play football with him again and she definitely didn't have the motivation anymore to play quidditch or any type of sport, even though she really wished she did.

 

[Maria Madison]

Maria nodded gently as she listened. "That sounds like a lot of fun." She said with a small smile that slipped as she considered her next question. "I'm sorry I need to ask so many questions. I can tell this is a difficult subject, but I'm trying to understand how I can best be of help to you. You can always say no to a question, or talk about something else if you would rather." She explained gently, before asking her next question. "Can I ask how long it's been without him?" She asked softly.

 

[Sophie Elliston]

Sophie couldn't help but be thankful that the lady was apologising for all of the questions. The teen adjusted herself in her seat a little bit to make herself feel a little bit more comfortable, taking a deep breath as Maria spoke. It was always tough talking to people about what was bothering her, but Maria only knew as much as she was willing to say, and Sophie liked that. As Maria asked how long it had been, Sophie had to pause and think for a while. It seemed like it was only about a few months ago and she couldn't believe how long it really was since the last time she saw him. "This would be the second year since." Sophie told her. "And... how much longer do you think it will take for me... to get over it?" Sophie wasn't sure if the counsellor would be able to answer her question, but she thought there was no harm in trying. Her older siblings were much more happier now, and even her mother was too, and somehow Sophie thought it was never going to be the same for her.

 

[Maria Madison]

((I'm so sorry this is so late! Things have been hectic and I somehow managed to jump over all of Maria's waiting threads without realising @_@ ))

Maria nodded sympathetically as Sophie spoke, her heart breaking slightly at the girl's question. "The grief process is different for everyone." She said gently. "I can't give a... one size fits all answer for that question. We call it a process because... there's not really an easy formula for grief. It doesn't just fall into five neat stages like people like to think. Each day can be a new stage, or one you've already been through half a dozen times already. The only thing you can do is keep going, and work through the loss in your own way." Maria shifted in her seat, gaze going slightly distant as she thought back to the years she had grieved for her sister as a child. "Does that sound accurate to your experience of grief?"