A place to get away from everything...or not

[Kate Archer]

Kate walked into the library.Her eyes were red as she had seen her reflection in a mirror on the way to the library and she had seen how thin she had gotten.There was bags under her eyes,her hair and eyes were dead and she never smiled anymore.That was why Kate had started crying.She couldn't believe this had happened to her and it was all over a boy ,a boy she had hardly knew.Yet he had managed to hurt her so much that she had sunk this low.But it was her own fault that she had acted like this but she had never been that hurt before she hadn't known how to react.Though she wasn't as bad a Bella in Twilight she was close.But the strange thing was he hadn't done anything that wrong he had just been dissing Kate and all the rest of his friends Kate personally thought he was feeling sorry for himself.But in a way Kate couldn't blame him.She knew who had been giving Stefan all the bruises and cuts but she knew he wouldn't admit it if she told him who her culprit was.

Sighing she went to the bookshelves to find a nice book to read that would bring her away from her miserable life.She looked around seeing if any of her friends were there.She hadn't seen any of them in ages except for Willow who was going through a much tougher time then Kate.Kate wondered what they thought of her and her actions.They probably thought she was over reacting and that she should get over herself but Kate couldn't.She would stay like this until something amazing happened that would make her forget all her worries.She knew her parents were worried about her health that was failing day by day.She hadn't wanted to tell them but her brother and sisters had wrote a letter explaining what had happened.They had considered taking her out but that wouldn't achieve anything as she would be just as bad at home.Finally seeing a book she liked she found a seat and sat down.Soon she forgot where she was and what time it was she was so engrossed in the book she didn't notice someone come in

 

[Stefan Archer]

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<SIZE size="50">It had been a slow and lonely start to the year. The Slytherin was aware that he had done everything in his power to make it so, but that didn't mean that it was pretty draining for the SLytherin. He was glad that he was away from his father but, that didn't make him feel as though he was at home. It was really quite the opposite, he felt like an outsider, just gazing into what his life could've been like. Stefan knew that he was just playing things up, but for the slytherin boy that was how he saw things. Black, white and grey always gave him the sense that he was like a ghost on a movie. He could see all the people, but the ignored him, like he wasn't even there. In a way, Stefan was glad of this. It meant people weren't bothering to get close to him, and although to most this was the worst thing possible, Stefan wanted it that way. He wanted to be the invisible man. It was dull and boring, but at least if he really did disappear, no one would see the difference. He knew that really this kind of decision was not for him to make. He knew that it was up to other people if they wanted to get to know him or not, but Stefan found if he didn't give them the options, if he didn't bother even saying anything to them about anything to do with himself, it wouldn't matter because he would ignore them, and eventually most got the hint. In other cases, Stefan had just resorted to being a typical Slytherin. Snake tongued and acting as if everything wasn't good enough for him. In a sense it wasn't actually a lie. He wasn't good for anything, Stefan believed. So, he just had to feel the opposite, feel the way he actually wanted to, rather than how he did. it was the same for most other things. He knew that he wasn't much. That his father was right about him, but it didn't make him feel at ease about it, it made him angry. Very angry. He wanted to be good enough. He wanted to feel worthy. He wanted his father to think him worthy of love, or of anything. Something other than worthy of nothing. He hated the emptiness he had inside that no matter how hard he tried he couldn't shift. It was always there, reminding him, that he had nothing, and that his so called father was the only person in his life. In his first year, this had not been true. He had had a lot of people who were in his life, but it was different now. He didn't want people to know about him. He didn't want people to care as much as they had. Because he knew he would let them down. More than he already had. And he knew that if he did disappear, not caring about him, would serve them a lot better.

The anger than Stefan felt most days tended to go away towards the middle of the day and come back near the end. He knew it was because in the middle of the day, things were better. He wasn't hungry, he'd gone to classes and he'd been among people, but as soon as he reentered his dorm, and saw himself he was angry. Still skinny, still pale. Still scarred and bruised. He was everything that all others at school were not. He was the only person at Hogwarts who didn't look perfect. He was flawed in his looks, and flawed his being. Colourblindness made everyone look the same. Well, practically the same, and to him, they did all look perfect, and it was when he saw himself that he realised he was completely different. He ran in a different circle. He was the only who did not smile and laugh throughout the day. He would always sit with his head down staring at whatever was in front of him, just fading into the background. It was just the way things were for the Slytherin boy. And while it was lonely, Stefan knew he'd made the right choice. It didn't always seem like it at first, but he knew it was. Stefan knew that whatever else might happen to him, that the people around him, wouldn't care as much, if at all. Stefan was in his usual clothes. The same ones he wore everyday. He didn't have much else. A second t-shirt, a second pair of jeans. And just the right amount of underwear and socks. His converses were old, and worn and dirty. But, Stefan didn't have the kind of money to buy himself new clothes. Or new anything for that matter. He was just stuck with the ones he had. It didn't really occur to him, that most others would find that awful. But, Stefan was always more focused on buying food, or being sure there was food. Because if it came down to having torn clothes and food or new clothes and no food. Stefan would always, without fail go for the option with food. It was just he way that Stefan had developed into. He gave a small sigh as he stepped into the library. He wasn't sure why he'd come. Stefan didn't really read, but, he felt like he should go. Find a book, and actually try to read it. He'd heard it was a good method of escape.

The library was busy, but quiet. Stefan was able to wander without having to speak to anyone or make any form of conversation. He was happy for that. The library was the only place that Stefan actually looked up. He had to, the books at his eyes level were never the interesting ones. After wandering through the library a bit, Stefan's eyes found themselves upon a books called Narnia For some reason the name sounded familiar. He walked over to it and reached up to grab the book. As he did so his jumper and t-shirt rode up slightly, exposing a small section of his back, and a small selection of bruises. He was quick to grab the books and pull back down hi jumper. He looked around, and it was then that he noticed a brunette that was skinner than the one he remembered. "Oh" Slipped out as he stood. Unsure as to if he should say anything to her, or just walk away. Instead of doing either Stefan spotted a small table sitting on it's own, so he walked over to it, ignoring Kate, who he was now worried about, and sitting down. It wasn't normal for Stefan to be worried about others, but when it came to physical things being wrong with a person, Like skinniness, Stefan could spot it a mile off. But instead of doing anything, he continued to ignore her, liked he'd done on the first day and opened the book at the first page.​

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[Kate Archer]

Kate was enjoying the book it was cold A Dark and Beautiful Thing.It was an interesting book with a bit of romance and adventure.Kate's two favorite things in a book.One of her favorite books were the Poisin Study triology.Kate loved them and had read them lots of times.The worst book Kate had ever read was Private Peaceful a sad book.Kate hated sad books some mad her cry.But she hadn't had a choice to read the book as it had been part of English.Kate smiled when she remembered her English classes in her primary school in Ireland.Thery had talked most of the time and there had been some very funny people inside the class.Her worst and most disliked class was Irish.The teacher was a b'tch and Kate could never get the spelling right.

Kate looked at her watch and realised it was lunch time she got up and nearly fell over in the process as she wasn't very steady on her feet but she put her hand in the bookshelf and steadied her self.But she stopped realising she wasn't hungry and that scared her she had usually loved her food but now she couldn't even look at it.Before she sat back down she saw someone at first it surprised her that he was in the library but then a whole lot of other emotions came over her making her fall back on her seat.She didn't know what to do.Part of her felt angry while the other side felt sorry.she finally decided she may as well make up with Stefan.Even just be on speaking terms or not e giving cold glances at each other.She got up and steadied her vision she then walked over to the table and sat down in the chair opposite Stefan.She didn't say anything but began to read her book wondering what would happen.

 

[Stefan Archer]

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<SIZE size="50">It was an interesting book that he'd picked up. Stefan had never really sat down to read any book before. Sure he'd read almost all of the school books, but he hadn't ever just picked up a normal book to read until now that was. It didn't strike him as weird that all he'd read were school books. It wasn't like he was a quick reader. It took him a lot concentration and he gnerally did not have an abundance of that. reading for Stefan took time. Time he didn't have to spare. He however was glad of the time there and then. He loved being able to sit and read. He was taking his time, adjusting the book so he could actually see what was written. He took in each word, quickly realising what the book was about. He hadn't ever had concise English lessons but he was realising that reading books like this one would be something to help him. It would seem pretty simple and self explanatory to most but Stefan wasn't most. He had problems figuring some things out, things that others would find simple. Stefan was Stefan and despite his new anger, he was discovering what it was like to have a personality. He'd had a set back when he'd gone home, but things were looking better for him. School was what kept him going. Stefan looked up at the sound of a slight crash. Kate. He quickly returned to his book. He knew whatever was happening to her was most likely a direct result of him. Stefan knew he'd hurt her. But he had had to. It would be a lot of better for her to not know him. A lot easier, a lot simpler. Stefan knew he had to do, what he had been doing.

It had been simpler for him to make up with Willow. He'd not been as closed off as he was currently. With her it was easy since the weren't as close friends as Stefan was with Kate. But it seemed to him that he needed to do something. Something about Kate. He wanted nothing more than to go over to her and apologise. Ask her to forgive him. He wanted her to know that it was because he cared that he didn't want her to have anything to do with him. That and he believed that he wasn't in any sense good enough for her. It always angered Stefan when he thought that. It made him want to scream that if given the chance he could. He wanted to yell that he could be there for her. But he couldn't he couldn't stand to make promises where there was a chance he wouldn't be able to keep. He wanted to always be there for her, but he did live with his father and that meant that there was no guarantee that he would come back after each holiday. And Stefan would prefer that he was hated by her, because he knew that she wouldn't care as much if he didn't return. Stefan looked up slightly when she sat down opposite him. He sighed slightly. He couldn't just sit there. He'd make things worse. But he couldn't say sorry. Instead, Stefan from within his Jean pocket pulled out a bit of scrap paper and a small pen. He placed the paper against the part of the book with more pages on it's side and slowly wrote on the paper. He knew a note would not do much to improve things but considering it was a library it was not abnormally weird. He sighed slightly as he wrote slowly. It took a long while for him to write out a simple sentence. He folded the note and passed it to her. The note said Kate, I know you hate me, and I'm not going to tell you otherwise. Trust me when I say you should hate me. It's better. And please eat. Not eating when you don't have the money for it, is the only reason for eating. I will not apologise for the other day Stefan had thought it best to add on the last bit. It was the only part of the note that he lied on. After passing the note to her, Stefan put the pen back in his pocket and continued reading.​

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[Kate Archer]

Kate kept reading her book and becoming more wrapped up in it by the minute.Funny how a book could make her forget what happened but her friends couldn't.She guessed it was because in a book you felt like you were in a different world and that you had no problems holding you back.She wished she could stay in the word of books forever but she knew she would have to come out of her little ream world and get back to reality.

Sighing she took a glance at Stefan. He hadn't said anything about her presence and this confirmed he was still in a mood.Even after all that happened she vowed to help him.She didn't hate him she just hated what he is doing.It also made her angry because she had some idea of what had happened to him and she was guessing his sudden anger had something to do with it.She looked again and she saw him writing on a piece of paper.Curious,she wondered why and what he was writing.It seemed to be a struggle for him and Kate had to fight the urge not to go over and help him.She was surprised when the note was passed to her she hadn't expected any sort of communication from him.She read the note and did a small sigh.Luckily she had a pen in her pocket she started to write : Stefan,I'm sorry to tell you that I don't hate you I am unable to hate someone (thats why I'm in Hufflepuff) for a long time.I hate your actions thats all.Nothing you say will get me back into food in time I will probably start eating properly but for now I will only just pucke up the food I eat.I didn't think that you would you are the exactly the same you were this time last year except there is anger instead of your fear and don't think I don't now why.I saw your fathers attitude to you and vice versa.I won't say anything to anyone and I won't get any help for you as you don't seem to want any?But if you don't return sometime I will tell them but hopefully that won't happen.But what I don't understand is why you are pushing away the people that care for you.Thats all I want to say and don't just toss it away because I can assure you you will regret your actions. She finished her long note and passed it back to him.She put her pen away and started to read her book that was almost finished

Out of Character:

Sorry about the long note!

 

[Stefan Archer]

Stefan didn't know what to expect in return to his note. It wasn't like he could stuck around there for that much longer. He would have to take the book and go back to the Slytherin dorms. He knew that sticking around Kate would only lead him to really feel like he was making the wrong decision. He wanted nothing more than to stop what he was doing, but he really couldn't. His mind told him against he. He didn't want to give her a reason to be upset over him. She didn't understand. He knew that there was so much more to him and what happened in his house. It wasn't like he could just walk away. He couldn't go into one of the many rooms of his home, because there were so few. He didn't have the money that would help him run. He didn't have the other family to help him. Stefan knew that if reached out to friends, they could help him, But there was an embarrassement that followed him when he thought of it. He wasn't able to hold his own in his home. He had no voice. He was constantly put down, constantly mocked, and it did make him feel like he was nothing. It made him feel pathetic, and talking about this to someone else, let alone someone he cared a lot about, wasn't something he wanted to do. He knew that no matter what he did say, it wouldn't actually change anything. He would still be stuck in the same situation, and what could kids do about it. It wasn't like any one of friend's family would be able to take in a boy who was 12 who'd had the start to life that came from hell. It wasn't something that most parents would be ready to deal with. He didn't want to be sent to checked out by doctors. They would prode and poke into his past, and his past was a gorey thing with almost no happy moments. His first happy memory wasn't even knowing that he was a wizard. He hadn't at all believed it. Stefan just sighed to himself, he had his eyes on the words on the book, but he wasn't taking any of it in. There was an anger building up inside him, that he had even bothered to talk to her, even if it was a note. He condsidered not even waiting for a reply. He glanced up at the exit and wondered if now would be a good time to just leave. To just pick up his stuff and go. Leave the book. It was pointless trying to read he was not much good at it. When every page would take him forever to read. And he didn't really have the spare time to just read a random book. It was a sorry fact, but he knew it to be true. He knew that he would be better off, spending time reading the school books. Reading the books that he was needed to read would always help him in the end. He didn't want to be bad in classes. He didn't want to give the professors any reason for removing him from the school.

The newest fear that Stefan Archer had developed was not having hogwarts. Hogwarts turning it's back on him. It was the only place that had ever considered him. The only place that hadn't tried to put him down on purpose. It had been there for him, when he feared his life would be one cold painful night after the other. It had let him see the other side. It had left him catch a glimpse of what his life could've been like. That was all of course with out the colour. He wondered if his life would be different with colour. He'd still be without a mother. And his father would still be pretty depressed, but perhaps things would've been better. He sighed to himself as he thought. Before Hogwarts Stefan had never really had any serious thoughts about how his life would've been if things had been slightly different. Stefan sighed again. He then noticed that there was a bit of paper. He didn't look up, but took the note. He read through it quickly. He knew that the signs were all pretty clear. The cut on his hand was bandaged, and that stood out. The scars on his other hand, were as clear as everything else. And the bruises on his wrist didn't exact stay hidden. He read through it. He knew she only meant well, but he couldn't see how she found that the answer had been so easy. It worried him that she would so careless with food. That she would bring it back up. Stefan was thankful for even the smallest bit of food, he couldn't ever imagine not eat. He had enough of that any home. He had enough of having no food at home. But then at hogwarts Stefan couldn't stomach as much as the others in his year. He knew that she'd seen the way his father had acted to him, but Stefan didn't think it was the same the other way round. He wasn't like his father, only in looks, he was sure. But, other than that they weren't the same. He wasn't aware that the anger he was feeling resembled his fathers. He thought it could be that, this caused him to feel even angrier. Stefan knew that she meant well, but it really wasn't as simple as just getting help. His father was all he had, and while he hated the man, it wasn't like he could do anything about it. with no one else, he knew his fate. Shipment off into the foster care trade. No family would want a boy like him. Even with his father being who he was, it just wouldn't be great in a new family. Stefan took his pen and wrote a small reply. He didn't feel the need to reply to everything she said. It doesn't matter. My father is all I have. We have arguements, but that's all. He is all I have Stefan passed her the note. He knew it was lies. But Stefan was no where close to admitting what was wrong with his life. No he wasn't at that stage. He wasn't ready. He was too embarrassed. He was too angry to even talk about his father. When he thought of him, and the things he did to Stefan an anger bioled so hugely within Stefan it made him want to destory everything around him. And he didn't want that to happen. He just wanted to continue on, in his ghost existance until he gain the strength to fight his father. Stefan's gaze was still on the same words that had been at when she'd first sat down.​

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[Kate Archer]

Out of Character:

Sorry in advance for its shortness.!My sister whats a go and I want to get this done!

Kate looked at him writing the note over the rim of her book.She noticed it took him a to write the note.He seemed to have a difficulty with it.When she turned to the last page of the book.She felt something at her hand.Wanting to finish the book she read quickly the last page and she then read the note.She then looked at him straight in the eyes and sighed.She could tell that he was lying so she decided to write a quick reply. Okay so Stefan I'll trust your judgement.But all I'm trying to say is that even if you give all of us the cold shoulder we won't forget you or give up.She wrote.She gave the note back to him and got up to find a new book.She took her time in choosing.After about fifteen minutes she picked a book called Captivate.She then walked back and in a way she was surprised to see Stefan still sitting there.Settling back on the chair she began the first chapter of her new book.

 

[Stefan Archer]

It hadn't really occurred to Stefan that he could have other family members. They weren't really in his life. He had no idea about if he had grandparents, or uncles and aunts. Cousins. He didn't know anything about his family. His family, if he did have any other family members it was pretty clear that they really did not care about him. He wasn't that annoyed, but it would've been nice to know if they even existed. His father was a wall. He only saw the surface of his father, what ever else his father was, Stefan didn't know. Stefan knew that he would probably never ever know what his father had been like. Or anything other than his name, and the relationship between them. It was a little odd for him to know so little on the man he called his father. There were days were Stefan didn't even know if his dad was actually was his dad. It wouldn't make a difference to his life, not really. He would still be the man that Stefan grew up with. He knew that it might mean that he would have a family outside of the walls of his house. But like his mind always told him, what family would want a boy like him. Stefan had real issues, his problems were not as two demensional as most other peoples were. It wasn't like Kate, who's problems, was him. Or Willow who's problem was that she didn't fit in with her family, and school didn't feel like home. Stefan problems, were that his father was the man that most had imagined Horror films from. His father showed him nothing but hate. He had no money, and he really had nothing. School issues like girls, or school work didn't even really factor into his brain. Right now, his mind wasn't thinking of how badly he'd hurt Kate. He knew. But, his mind was on how much more he would hurt her if things continued. He knew that his brain was spending more and more convincing him that everything was for the best. Stefan was growing angry that he was considering not. His mind was just so frazzled. He didn't know what he really wanted, or what way would be best. He just wanted to know. He wanted to yell at the high heavens that they had made his life so unfair when it was put in comparison with others. With anyone else, he was sure he'd come out on the bottom. It wasn't like he actually liked that. He just wanted to be treated like a normal person. He didn't want to talked to as if he would break at any moment. Or because the scars and bruises were all people saw of him. Stefan closed the book and just sat it on his lap. His eyes stared down at it. Not sure as to if he should leave or not.

Stefan noticed the note returned to him. He sat for a moment, watching as she got up to get another book. He took the note once she'd left. He read it through quickly. It didn't make him feel happy or upset. He thought that he had to do something. He had to either just tell her. Say he was sorry and ask for help, which would end in him being shipped off to some other place. Or it would mean that his father would take him and run for it. Stefan didn't know what his father was capable of doing, and he didn't know what his father would do when pushed. Or he could push her away. Give her the cold shoulder, and hope that after a while, she'd get the hint. He wondered what to write to her. He just stared at the note for a long while. He was unsure what would be smart to write. What she would want to hear. What she wouldn't want to hear. What would be best. After a lot of think, Stefan settled by writing I wish you would. Was what he wrote first, slowly and carefully. But underneath in a smaller more messy handwriting was the words Thank you He had never felt like anyone was ever there for him. No one had ever offered to not give up on him. He didn't want her to, but he knew no matter what he said or wrote, that it would be the way things were. He noticed Kate come back. He passed her the note, and then without another glance to her, he got up and walked away. He left the book on the table. He didn't want to read anymore. He just wanted to be alone. He just wanted to sleep. Dream his way away from the world around him. Because he was tired, and he just needed that solitude.​

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