Closed A never ending circle

[Giselle Rosenberg]

PLOT ID #113581

Giselle had been furious, mad and only one thing helped with that. An good night out drinking in Obsidian Harbour. Again she had been in a fight with her father, and she felt bad for it while leaving the house. It was even harder now Sofia was in New York. And Giselle was just stuck in her own misery, when she compared her own life with her sisters. It was now some years later, when she dropped out of Hogwarts. Not finishing her school. Giselle hated it there, not only for the wrong decisions they had made of making sure there was Quidditch played. But also the people, the building all was stupid. But for Giselle her life didn't changed that much. Her life just got worse after that. She couldn't bare dealing with her feelings of grief, and her depression now. There was just no way out for her, the only thing that helped was a good drink, the right amount of them. She knew it was not good the way she lived, and her guilt afterwards and about what she did to her family was even worse and made it be a circle, which went over and over again.

Sitting on the ground with two empty bottles beside her, the clothes still from yesterday on she half slept in the street close to the medley. She didn't had to courage to go home. And didn't want to cause her father more pain. So perhaps sleeping on the street was the better option. But all the voices from people were so loud and annoying. '' Shut up.'' she said when people walked by and covered her ears.

 

[Liusaidh Styx]

Liusaidh was pretty happy with the news from the healer. She was pregnant. It was only a couple of months along, too early to be telling people really, but the baby was good and healthy. Though she expected nothing less from a baby that would combine two pureblood families. She was keeping herself healthy, though it wasn't hard, she'd always been health conscious as was Kalif, and now it was just perfect. She had stepped out a little late, finishing up doing something with her traitor brother, but she didn't mind it as much, Sophie and Malcolm were cute, and she couldn't hate the kids for the mistakes of her dumb brother. Liusaidh was glad that she was going to have her own child. It was her turn, it didn't matter that Graeme was on his like billionth one.

As she was heading through the street she spotted an ever familiar face. She got the impression that Giselle's life hadn't been peachy, that she struggled a lot, and of course she would she was such a loser. But in that moment, seeing her as drunk as she was she wasn't sure she wanted to make light of it. Her hands went to her stomach, and thought of her own coming child. "God Giselle, what is going on with you,"

 

[Giselle Rosenberg]

Keeping her hands on her ears to make sure the sound wasn't that loud she tried to open her eyes an bit, the sun was already there and it hurted her eyes a bit. She had no idea how long she was here and how long she slept. But she did felt her head, it hurted. Her whole body did actually, since this wasn't a good place to sleep at. A bed was far more comfertable an better to an body. She than heard her name in a sentence and opened her eyes better to see. Seeing those red hair was enough for her. Even when she was having a hangover. Ofcourse she had to come and gloat at her. It had to happen at some point. '' Go away!'' Giselle said grumpy. She tried to sat up an bit more so she could see. '' Go and annoy someone else.'' The blonde added to it. And took an empty bottle in her hand. In case Lius was not taking the hint.

 

[Liusaidh Styx]

Liusaidh rolled her eyes at Giselle's reaction, she sounded still drunk or was this just how this girl was hungover. She wanted to do as the girl said, to just leave her alone, let her drown her sorrows away, let her be like this. "God, don't be more pathetic," she said, twisting her wedding band as she tried to figure out how to handle this. Liusaidh went to try to take the empty bottle from her. "Come on, you need to sleep this off, indoors, and where someone can make sure you don't choke on your own vomit," she wasn't interested in drawing it out. She'd leave if Giselle kept fighting her.

 

[Giselle Rosenberg]

Giselle didn't even put on a act to push people aside. She just didn't liked Lius, perhaps she even hated the girl. She reminded her of the horrible time at Hogwarts, and how mad she was. She ignored whatever she was saying which kind of came in like she was under water sound. Than Lius tried to take away the empty bottle. Giselle wanted to pull at it or smash it on the ground. '' Hé!'' But when she looked up she noticed an big bump. Did Lius gain that much weight? '' Whatever, why do you care.'' And was an bit suprised by what she saw and what Lius did. She didn't laughed at her at all and Giselle wanted her away but she seemed to help her? Which was even more confusing. The thought of throwing up over Lius was attractive, but she felt the fresh air working an bit. '' Did you eat a whole cow or something?'' She than said and looked at her belly.

 

[Liusaidh Styx]

Liusaidh rolled her eyes at Giselle, god, this was so embarrassing for her, and sad. God, so sad. She watched the woman let her finally take the bottle, clearly a little out of it, and too out of it to stop her. With a simple spell, she had the bottle vanish away. "I don't care, but god, you should care, Giselle," Liusaidh could admit that perhaps she'd always been a bit cruel to Giselle, but the girl had brought it upon herself so often, by always being so angry and fun to tease. "I'm pregnant," she replied with a roll of her eyes again. She placed a hand on the rounded belly, that wasn't that significant. She was happy to be pregnant fulfilling her duty as a pureblood, marrying and producing more purebloods. She was eager to be a parent, to spoil the child rotten and make them understand how important they were. "Some of us, have our lives together,"

 

[Giselle Rosenberg]

As she was just staring at Lius her big belly she frowned. It was that she was caring too much which brought her in this place. '' You know nothing!'' she said perhaps more loud than she wanted. And if she didn't care, why did she was here now. She could move her big belly and lighthouse hair the other way and away from Giselle. When she suddenly heard her saying the word she never had thought of herself. Ofcourse you had an big belly when you were pregnant, but she just didn't thought Lius was so far already in her life. It made her be quiet for an moment and stare at her own legs and hands. And the harsh comment afterwards made her want to punch Lius. '' You look like a f*cking cow.'' she said before she could think. But in a way it struck her like an knive in the heart. And she looked around for more alcohol beside her, but there wasn't. It hurt her. How her life was comparing to Lius who was now standing literally above her. She could pretend all she want, but it made her mad, but sad too. Giselle had hoped to become mother too one day, she wanted nothing more to give someone the love she missed from her own mother who passed away far too early. And before she knew it the tears rolled down her cheek. And it hurted like a b*tch.

 

[Liusaidh Styx]

Liusaidh could admit she did know nothing about this girl and her life, certainly if she had ever, she'd always chosen to just forget it, never finding much use in pretending like she did. She did know that her mother had died in a quidditch accident. She might've retorted something about it, but didn't, as the girl called her a cow. Liusaidh kept her hands on her belly, a fondness in her gaze for the little hopefully boy growing inside of her. She took out her wand and conjured a cup and some water, and knelt down a little offering the cup to her. "Drink this, it's just water, it'll probably make you feel a little better," Liusaidh tried, especially as she saw that Giselle was crying. "Giselle, merlin, don't cry, stop that," she said, not wanting to deal with a crying Giselle, a shouting, angry one was loads easier to deal with.

 

[Giselle Rosenberg]

Giselle never really had told about her family and her mother to anyone outside of her family. She did mention her mother once in a argument when she was discussing about quidditch. In that period at least she had an passion, which was demonstrating against Quidditch and she had an goal. Now she didn't had a goal in her life. And Lius had made that very clear by showing her and literally showing her life now. When Lius got her some water, Giselle wondered if she would poison it. She didn't had trust in anyone really, but all that alcohol wasn't too well for her brains too. It made her see and think stuff. Giselle made an groan sound and took the water from Lius, taking an sip. And felt her shoulders shaking from the cries. '' I don't want to cry either!'' she said annoyed. '' It hurts too much..'' she said an bit lost in her own sorrow. '' Don't you have something else than water. Something stronger. I need it.'' the blonde replied. And wiped away the tears, hoping it would stop. '' I.. can't deal with it, without..'' the blonde said, not sure why she was sharing this. ​

 

[Liusaidh Styx]

Liusaidh was glad when Giselle took the water and was sipping it lightly. She took out her wand and cleaned with it the piece of pavement next to where Giselle was sitting. She also conjured a little piece of cloth and placed it down and sat down next to Giselle, being a little careful as she did so. She put a hand somewhat awkward hovering above Giselle's shoulder. "What hurts?" she asked. "And no, remember, pregnant, can't drink, or it would harm the baby," she told her with a role of her eyes. "Drink the water. Hopefully water will make you less weepy,"

 

[Giselle Rosenberg]

With the water in her hand she rather liked it to be something else, to sedate her pain an bit more. But as Lius went sitting next to her. Giselle had to blink with her eyes a few times, was this a dream? She didn't understood what happend here. She hated Lius and the other way around she knew for sure. They had a lot of fights and sat with Styx a few times because of it. But Lius actually sat beside her and Giselle just found it hard to see that big belly with an baby growing inside of it. Giselle shook her head she couldn't explain or talk about it. '' All of it.'' she just said and took another sip of her water. She rolled her eyes as Lius responded, but it seemed logic. The blonde wondered how she would ever could do without alcohol, she couldn't imagine it right now. '' Everything is f*cking stupid!'' the blonde than said angry and tossed away the cup on the ground. Anger was always better than sadness, it was what she was used too it hurted an bit less. '' Í'm stuck in this stupid loop. I hate it and I love it.'' Giselle than just put out there, meaning the drinking part. In a way she suddenly at this moment wanted nothing more than a drink, it was the easy way out of her pain. But she hated it too, and knew that it wasn't the answer to her problems. But she couldn't solve it on her own.

 

[Liusaidh Styx]

Liusaidh watched as Giselle sipped it a few times. This whole situation was so odd to her, but she couldn't help how she was being. She didn't like Giselle, but this equally brought now pleasure. That and Liusaidh knew she had to act a certain way now, her wild days were mostly behind her. "Well, when you drink as much as you do, I bet it does feel stupid, or that you're stuck in a loop," she said as if it were obvious. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" she asked, tactlessly. "This isn't the answer to whatever problems you're having and honestly, Giselle, you can do better,"

 

[Giselle Rosenberg]

As she sat with her hands into her hair she heard what Lius said and gave her an angry look. She didn't even knew, but perhaps from the bottles around her it was clear. The question afterwards was something which made her be silent for an moment and think. Why she started and why she was still doing was for her an question too. But it was an way to sedate and don't feel at difficult moments. But it wasn't nice at all at moments, when the hangover kicked in. As she suddenly seemed to give an compliment, the blonde watched Lius. '' Is that a compliment?'' She than said with an small smirk. It was more easy to react to that kind of stuff with an joke thing, than the serious part. It had been some years now and her family had been saying what she needed to do for many times. But Giselle didn't want to know any of it. But feeling stuck wasn't nice too. And comparing her life to someone like Lius was not nice, and made her feel like a failure even more. '' I don't f*cking know. It's helping with pain.'' She than answered. Giselle didn't liked to admit that Lius was right. But she knew there needed to change something.

 

[Liusaidh Styx]

Liusaidh didn't acknowledge whether it was a compliment or not, she still wasn't going to give her that level of satisfaction. She was doing so much already, instead she scoffed and rolled her eyes. She didn't think alcohol, or this level of it was really helping much at all. "You know, I don't think it is helping," she said simply. "Because if it was, you wouldn't need to drink so much," she told her plainly. If it was helping she was sure she'd no longer feel it at all and would be able to avoid it. "It just masks it until you sober up and then have to drink again." she followed it with. "Now, tell me, what is this pain? What is your pain?"

 

[Giselle Rosenberg]

Giselle than sighted. It wasn't that she didn't knew, but it was hard to stop once you started. She wanted to say something mean, but in a way perhaps Lius being here was all she could take at this moment. And someone she didn't liked told her this wasn't right was different than someone close to her. And what she said made her be quiet for an minute again, she was right. And she hated to admit it. So she didn't said it. '' Have experience yourself?'' Giselle than asked her. But it was just how it worked. In a way Giselle was ready to perhaps throw it out, she couldn't sink deeper now than she was. And Lius already saw her like this. She sighted deep and shook her head. Back in the days she would punch and let her feel what pain was. '' A circle which doesn't stop, yup.'' Giselle than said. But she had figured that herself. She just didn't had the courage to ask for help, and was afraid to face her fears and emotions. It was more easy to project at others and chose violence over sadness. In a way she wanted to speak, but perhaps not to Lius. But someone who could help her. She just hoped that once she spoke and dealed with stuff this feeling in her body would go away. And she could start living her life. But she didn't want to betray her mother, by letting go of how much she thought of her. '' Something not for you to know.'' The blonde than tried to stand up slowly she felt a bit shaky, but she just stood. '' I know what to do. Who would have thought you would be the one to let me see.'' The blonde than said. Perhaps one day if this would work out how she liked it too, she would tell her.

 

[Liusaidh Styx]

Liusaidh looked at the bottle and back to her. "Have I experienced alcoholism before?" she said, a little unwilling to divulge on any such matters if it could be avoided. Though she hadn't. "Or have I experienced things which might lead one to drink?" But she knew if anything, the words she was saying were either having an impact or just temporarily doing so. "You can stop this circle," she told her and Liusaidh rolled her eyes. "Fine, you don't need to tell me, but find someone you can tell, find someone to help. I'm very smart Giselle, you forget that constantly," she boasted with a little smile. "And for all our fighting, this...I don't want this. You're a great witch, go act like one," she wasn't sure if this as the right thing to say but the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

 

[Giselle Rosenberg]

Lius was not giving any answers, and Giselle didn't even knew what she could expect. She believed Lius wouldn't be honest about things in her life which weren't so perfect perhaps. Perhaps her life wasn't as good as she made it seem to look like. But the blonde figured it would be better than hers at least. She wasn't gonna answer it, it seemed and played dumb. She had to grin for an second, it had been some time that she had. She was so full of herself, it was hilarious. And raised her eyebrow. '' How can I forget, your so humble too.'' She said and smirked. Her next words made Giselle frown for a second. Lius really did seem to change a bit, or this was just one big joke and she would throw it in her face in second. Perhaps it was a pillow under her shirt. '' Thanks.. I guess.'' Giselle could barely get it over her lips, and she was not gonna let Lius tell her what to do. But she had figured this now by herself out that she had to find help, this time for real. And because she wanted to get out of this loop. ​

 

[Liusaidh Styx]

Liusaidh laughed lightly, nodding at the statement. "Yes I am," she retorted with a little of course tone, but it didn't really matter. She didn't think she was that mcuh, or that it mattered, she was just trying to at least make this all a little less emotional. She wasn't great with those. "You are welcome," she said. "Do you want me to get you anywhere?" Liusaidh offered, not sure where Giselle was going and/or if she'd want help with it. She kinda hoped she wouldn't. She wasn't sure she could handle that.

 

[Giselle Rosenberg]

The blonde hadn't thought her day turned out like this. And never that Lius and she would have an normal conversation like this. Ofcourse Giselle had screamed and did her part in this, but they way they now spoke was something the blonde never ever thought of herself too. Seeing Lius made her feel pain of an not so nice time at Hogwarts come back too. But the blonde wanted to believe she could do more than what she was doing now, drinking and doing nothing. Mostly being angry and all. Giselle had to find a way, but she needed help for that and she ws gonna find it. The blonde had suddenly saw a light and wanted to take on help and seek for help, but in a way she had no idea where to begin. '' No it's fine.'' Giselle than said. '' Go back to wherever you came from or where you were going too.'' The blonde said. It sounded less nice than she ment it.
'' Goodbye.. '' The blonde than took a few steps and turned around. '' I hope your child is not so annoying as you are.'' The blonde said serious, but than smirked shortly. In a Giselle way nice meaning. And walked away, hoping it would be a start of something new and good.​